What If Your Child Doesn’t Like the Gender GOD Gave Them?

Disclaimer: I acknowledge the fact that this article may be incredibly offensive to some, even those that I call friends. However, this article is in NO way saying that I hate transgender/homosexual people. I love and respect them as humans (and friends!), I just simply don’t support their decision. I want to freely express my views and this article happens to hold a view that has recently been quite controversial in American culture.

You are a parent who loves the LORD and seeks to obey Him in all things, and you raise your children to do the same (Deut 6:6-7). What happens though, when your child tells you that they do not like the gender that GOD gave them? Do you accept them as they are to avoid possibly ostracizing yourself from your child’s life, or do you call the fires of heaven upon them because their dislike of their gender will lead them away from GOD’S truth?

You’re going to have to just pause and really listen to your child. Ask them questions. Hear what they have to say about what they are feeling and believing. You need to remember that you remain an example for your child- if you, a Believer, chooses to speak rashly and say the first things that come to mind (which will most likely be negative) to your child, then you stand a greater chance of losing them. James 1:19 says: So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of GOD. You need to readily listen to your child, you must choose your words carefully and you cannot afford to get angry. After all, you are an ambassador of Christ (2 Cor 5:20), you cannot misrepresent Him.

If anything, be angry at Satan- he is the one influencing your child. Am I saying that your child is possessed and needs an exorcism? No, but you do need to be sensitive to the situation. Satan wants to lead your child away- he seeks to pollute every creation of GOD. Think about it for a moment: why on earth would GOD have your child be born male/female, and then, a few years later when they are able to give voice to their feelings, they believe that they should have been something other than what they are? Do you not know that Satan is a deceiver? Do you understand that all he wants is your destruction? What better way to cause destruction than to separate you from GOD? The Scriptures say this about our adversary: Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). Our Heavenly Father will continue to love your child- His love is not dependent on who you are, but who He is- but if they do not realize that being transgender goes against GOD, then they will be lost (it doesn’t have to be permanent).

Our feelings are not reliable, in fact, they can often lead us astray. You may find your child saying: “I don’t feel female, I should have been a male” and vice versa. Once their feelings and thoughts are strong enough and most likely justified by society, then they start to believe that they should be female/male. What makes them feel this way? Let me create a scenario for you: one day you wake up, and a sudden thought just pops into your head. The thought is that you find your neighbor annoying. You didn’t find him annoying yesterday, but you do today. You start to think of all the things that annoy you about your neighbor: he doesn’t close his car door properly, he sometimes talks while chewing gum etc. Now you’re working yourself up with all of these thoughts and feelings, but you have not even stopped to question them. You walk out of your house with these feelings swirling about in you and lo and behold, you see him doing the very things that you find annoying. Now you feel angry at him- why can’t he just shut his car door properly? Why doesn’t he just spit that gum out before talking to people? Doesn’t he know that it’s rude? You’re quite worked up now. The neighbor sees you and waves at you with a smile on his face. Oh, but you’re angry, so you glare at him and storm back into the house, banging the door closed behind you. The neighbor is naturally taken aback by your reaction to his friendly greeting- you were not like this yesterday! One day GOD tells you to speak to your neighbor about Christ, but guess what? Your neighbor does not want to hear anything that you have to say about Jesus because of the way that you once acted towards him. Now you’re questioning yourself- why were you so annoyed with him? Why did you get so angry with him when you really don’t have a problem with him? Do you want to know what happened? You didn’t filter your thoughts! You didn’t stop to think: is this thought mine? Or is it coming from somewhere else? You just accepted that you felt annoyed with your neighbor and then like a wildfire, it got out of control. You took it to another level. Do you know that Satan can put thoughts into your head? He cannot read your thoughts, but he can plant a thought in your mind. Why do you think we were given this Scripture: …casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor 10:5). Jesus said to love your neighbor right? How were you showing love when you chose to accept that negative thought and so treat your neighbor poorly? Do you understand how your thoughts exalted themselves against the knowledge of GOD? By accepting those thoughts and acting out your feelings, you disobeyed GOD and you gave Satan a stronghold in your mind (see 2 Cor 10:4). He planted a thought in your head and sat back to watch you run with it- you did all the work of disobeying GOD.

Let’s use this knowledge to now figure out what is going on with your child.

A thought gets put into your child’s mind- they do not feel male/female. Obviously, they do not think that there is an outside spirit force trying to influence them, therefore they accept the thought as their own: ‘I thought it, therefore it must be mine’. Guess what happens now? Since your child accepted the thought, the devil now has a stronghold in your child’s mind. You see, there are spiritual laws that all spirits must abide by. When GOD tells us not to do something, it’s for a reason! It’s not just about controlling us! When we go against GOD, we give the devil legal ground to afflict us.

Now your child’s mind is the devil’s playground. He is going to continue to inject thoughts contrary to GOD’S Word into your child’s mind. When under such an onslaught, your child has no way of fighting it, not on their own. Eventually, your child will not only be influenced by thoughts alone, but the devil will purposefully put certain people in your child’s life that will convince them that it is okay to feel and believe that lie.

Transgender people say they were assigned a sex that isn’t true to who they are. They will even tell you that it’s not about sexual orientation, how they dress or even surgery. It’s about how they feel inside. Did you know that suicide attempts are significantly quite high for transgender people? In particular for those who went as far as to have a sex change op? Go and research it for yourself. Even such actions as cutting oneself and other activities aimed at bodily harm are reported among transgenders. Now, if they were so certain about what they feel they should be, then why would they want to harm themselves or commit suicide? Professionals will chime in and say that it is a psychological problem, which is partially right- it did start in the mind after all. So they will either seek to align their patient’s thoughts and feelings with their ‘true gender identity’ or prescribe the medication to deal with their troubling thoughts. Do you see how everything revolves around thoughts and feelings? The devil is a master manipulator- we can never know where his blows are going to come from. What is worrying is that his lies have become mainstream truths. This means that GOD’S Word becomes the lie (in their eyes), and all who go against these mainstream truths are hypocritical, judgemental, unloving and dangerous people to society. What a mess.

So what can you, the parent, do? If you cannot reason with your child by using Scripture, then they need to know that you love them unconditionally, but you do not accept them seeking to change their gender in any way. Now it’s time for you to kneel down before the LORD in earnest prayer. You are going to have to pray and use the Word of GOD as a weapon against the forces of evil. Didn’t Paul the Apostle say that we ‘…do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places’ (Eph 6:12)? You’re not fighting against your child or even against the people that are trying to influence him/her. No, your fight is against Satan and his demons. They are the ones that are taking your child away, not just from you but from GOD as well. They want your child’s soul, and the only way to get it is to be separated from GOD through sin. When you pray, make sure to fast as well (look to Isaiah 58 to find out what a fast should be like). Prayer, fasting and using GOD’S Word are our weapons against evil principalities- ‘…for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds…’ (2 Cor 10:4).

Some people might say that your child being transgender does not mean that they will be taken away from you, but those are just lies. Your child changes, not only physically (with the help of hormones, the sex op or clothes), but also in personality, beliefs, etc.

If you do not know where to start when using Scripture, read 2 Peter 3:9 and 1Timothy 2:4. These Scriptures tell us that God wants everyone to be saved- that’s the basis of your petition. In 1 John 5:14-15, it tells us that when we ask according to GOD’S will, then He will hear us and that we will have the petitions that we have asked of Him. That’s a promise!

Do not expect your child to change their minds overnight. Continue to pray and believe in GOD. It could take years, but your job is to continue to have faith in GOD and in His promises to us. Do not give up.

Ending Thoughts: The devil will most certainly try to deter you in any way that he can. His most powerful weapons against us are fear and doubt. Jesus has the victory (Col 2:15), so all he can do is try to get us to think contrary to GOD’S Word.

When in doubt, look to Luke 10:19 and Acts 16:31, and for fear, look to 2 Timothy 1:7. There are many other Scriptures that you can use, these are just the main ones that I use when I go into open warfare against the devil. Get deep into the Scriptures and study them. If you do not understand something, then ask GOD for wisdom according to James 1:5, but do not doubt, for if you doubt, do not expect to receive anything from GOD (James 1:6-8).

Written by Stephanie Jafta

I am a Freelance Writer living in a small coastal town in sunny South Africa. If I'm not working then you will probably find me with my nose buried in a book , taking walks to the beach or cooking and baking up a storm in the kitchen. I enjoy learning new languages and can speak 3.5 out of the 11 official languages of South Africa. I'm currently learning Spanish and French as I hope to travel to Spain, Latin America and Francophone countries in the future. Most importantly, I have been a born-again Christian for nearly 10 years and my walk with Jesus has been the most central aspect of my life.

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  1. I disagree. Some people are born with more or less chromosomes that may have them look a certain way but feel another. It’s not their fault but it is the fault of sin, just like any other genetic disorder. Pray that they understand and accept the truth of Gods salvation through the blood of Christ. The rest will take care of itself.

  2. I would in no way reprimand my child. I would reprimand the devil. I would fight as an intercessor for my child. I think that our society is pushing transgenderism on us. So, from the beginning I would police what my child sees on TV and online. I would teach him the ways of God from the start of their life. I wouldn’t let them hang out with the wrong crowd. I would tell them that they were born the gender thaat God assigned them and that they are confused because of society and the enemy. Then I would talk with them and help them overcome it. “Born this way” is a lie.

    • It dont work like that, God formed us and knew us before we were born meaning he knows who we are mentally and emotionally not just physically, physical birth defects happen all the time so the idea of being born with the wrong body isnt that crazy sounding. Yes i think some are pushing lgbtq in kids which i think is wrong, it’s something that has to personally discoverd, policing your child will just make them grow apart from you. Im trans and i have known in since i was young with the constant thought being “why dont i feel like a boy even with this body” and my parents are Christians so they managed and restricted what i watched and who i hang out with and sent me to a private Christian school yet with the numerous methods of monitoring me i still ended up trans. Personally i hate being trans its so awkward and weird its scary, ive prayed day and night for 4 years straight hoping i would feel like a normal guy but nothing changed i was not led astay by the devil i know his lies and schemes and how to avoid them. Trust me being trans is not a choice or illness or work of the devil its more like a curse that youll have to deal with the constant mental torture of not knowing who you are physically. God made me who i am and mabye being trans is apart of his plan. Trust me trying to fix your kid cause of what they like and feel will just end up hurting them more.

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