Ladies, we are walking on thin ice. There are just some things that you cannot do with the opposite sex, but so many women are falling into that trap. A wink here, a too tight hug there, a bit of confiding when your husband is ‘trippin’ or a too long gaze across the sea of heads at church. Nah-uh ladies, antics like this can only end up in sexual sin.
When I say that I am an observant person, I really mean that I will scrutinize everything down to the last detail. This has gotten me out of some hairy situations and has gotten me into trouble (sigh). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not studying people because I want to be judgemental, nope, I’m just interested in the behavior of people. In my 29 years of life, I have picked up major mistakes that women make when it comes to the opposite sex. These mistakes have ended in stalkings, murder, pregnancies out of marriage, affairs, domestic abuse, rape, scandal- I have seen it all. Now, as Christian women, we have to be mindful of our behavior- we cannot be acting in just any manner with men. There have to be boundaries. These are the 7 things that I believe you should avoid:
There is no such thing as harmless flirting. All flirting is suggestive to some degree and we are better off without it. Perhaps you find flirting fun and meaningless, but it ceases to be that when you direct it at someone who does not share the same opinion of it as you. There are compliments, and there is flirting, but the lines can become blurred rather quickly. Flirting is a dangerous game for Christian women because it reeks of worldly ways. We have no business trying to attract men or be attracted to them with the use of smooth one-liners that have no purpose in the Christian life. Do you want a godly husband? Then you need to be a godly woman who seeks the LORD first, and because of your relationship with GOD, the man of GOD will see you as a potential wife. If you are married then you should only have eyes for your husband. Do not make light of your marital vows by entertaining a flirtatious manner.
- Accepting Gifts
Refusing a gift from a man is not looking a gift horse in the mouth. What are the man’s intentions by giving you that gift? What does he expect in return? I don’t care whether the man is Christian or not if you are not married or at least betrothed to the guy, you have no business accepting his gifts. That slab of chocolate may seem harmless at first, but if that man is interested in you and you’re not, then you’re heading for a difficult time trying to shake him off. Just be upfront with the guy and say that you would rather not accept anything from him.
- Not Nipping Unwanted Attention in the Bud
Okay, I understand the lure of having someone interested in you. It’s mighty flattering. However, if you’re not interested in the guy, why on earth are you leading him on? Why are you leaving him hanging? That is only asking for trouble. You need to remember that men and women think differently and we cannot read each other’s minds, so you can never comprehend what is going on in the interested guy’s mind. Keep it godly and keep your intentions clear. There is a very thin line between love and hate; the guy that professed love to you a month ago can seek your destruction now.
- Discussing Your Spouse
Discussing your marital issues with the opposite sex is inviting trouble into your life. Just think about. You have been talking to brother Fred about your husband’s shortcomings and he has been taking note. He begins to fulfill the role that you had hoped your husband would fill, and before you know it, you both succumb to adultery. It’s frighteningly easy to give into temptation, especially when you are outside the will of GOD. Keep your issues between yourselves and a trusted counselor,
- Seeking “Comfort” From Opposite Sex
When you are feeling vulnerable, receiving support from a fellow Christian is a natural thing to do. But when you actively seek out comfort from the opposite sex… So many scandals have started this way. A Christian woman sought the guidance and comfort of her pastor, spending countless hours in counseling sessions. Their willpower began to weaken and their flesh took precedence over everything else. Next thing you know, the woman is pregnant with the pastor’s baby. Or perhaps a man and woman in the church sought comfort from each other and committed fornication. The list goes on. Just take your troubles to the LORD first and then seek out suitable comfort and guidance from a sister in Christ.
- Inappropriate Speech
Ther are just some things that you cannot discuss with the opposite sex. Topics of a sexual nature are definitely a big no-no. We have to remember that the flesh is weak, and if you do not take care to watch your words or the words of others spoken to you, you’re opening yourself up to some sinful thoughts that you have no place thinking about. Do not entertain inappropriate speech from men and do not be the one speaking it. Out of your mouth will flow what comes from your heart, remember that.
- Entertaining Relationships with Non-Believers
Why would you want to be unequally yoked with a non-believer? Is there a problem with waiting on GOD for the right man for you? We cannot be seeking people that belong to the world because they can pull you away from GOD probably quicker than you can draw them to GOD. What we should be attracted to is a man who puts GOD first in everything, not a handsome face, an athletic body, a rich man, a charming man or even someone who makes you laugh. Look for that godly trait first and you might just find that the man that GOD sent to you is the perfect fit for you. If you are already married and your husband is not a Believer, then just keep on praying and being faithful and obedient to GOD.
- Too Much Physical Contact When Dating/Courting
I know that many women will argue with me concerning this, but let’s be honest: kissing, petting, cuddling… all inappropriate when you’re not married to the guy. Keep your hands and your lips to yourself until you get married. When you’re dating someone, it should be for the purpose of getting married, not companionship or love out of marriage. We all know that the flesh is weak, right? So when you’re dating a guy and you kiss him or he kisses you, lust is going to come speeding in faster than you realize. If we say that we are women of GOD, then we need to start acting like it in word and in deed. We are not like other women. We are the daughters of the Most High and Holy GOD. We have a standard to uphold before the world. It will not do for a non-believer to see us French kissing our boyfriends/intended like they do, or having him put a hand on our bottoms or even pressing up against us in an intimate manner. Until you are ready for marriage, dedicate yourself to things of the LORD and keep yourself pure. If your boyfriend tries to make you feel guilty, then he does not fear the LORD because he should know how to treat the daughter of the Almighty GOD.
Ladies, this is not the time to be living like the world and doing the things of the world. Keep your conduct holy and your thoughts pure. We are still living in the flesh and the flesh is a wicked thing- it fights against the things of GOD. There are many hardships and temptations that we face on a daily basis, we do not need to add to them by behaving inappropriately with the opposite sex. Always seek GOD before doing anything.