25 Extremely Funny Christian Thoughts To Celebrate Every Day

Christian humor and thoughts for the day.

25 Extremely Funny Christian Thoughts To Celebrate Every Day
25 Extremely Funny Christian Thoughts To Celebrate Every Day

Christianity is a serious business but everything has its funny side. After all, laughter is the best medicine – which is why we practice it religiously here at Godinterest, especially when it comes to funny quotes.

  1. Some things have to be believed to be seen. ~ Ralph Hodgson
  2. No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says. He is always convinced that it says what he means. ~ George Bernard Shaw
  3. I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. ~
  4. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe? ~ Quentin Crisp
  5. Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. ~ Fred Allen
  6. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. ~ Billy Sunday
  7. A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. ~ Billy Graham
  8. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. ~ Mark Twain
  9. The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. ~ Dante Rossetti
  10. On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. ~ Curtis McDougall
  11. A Christian is a man who feels on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday. ~ Thomas Ybarra
  12. Maybe this world is another planet’s hell. ~ Aldous Huxley
  13. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. ~ Napoleon
  14. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam. ~ George Carlin
  15. If there were no God, there would be no atheists. ~ G. K. Chesterton
  16. The church is -conditioned. ~ Anonymous
  17. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. ~ G. K. Chesterton
  18. If you use the church’s WiFi, are you receiving God’s signal? ~ Anonymous
  19. Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. ~ Mark Twain
  20. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. ~ Robert Orben
  21. I’d rather live my whole life assuming there is a God, only to find out that there isn’t, than to live my whole life assuming there isn’t a God, only to find out there is. ~ Peter Barry
  22. You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic. ~ Doris Egan
  23. I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. ~ Mahatma Ghandi
  24. The number of followers you have doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12. ~ Anonymous
  25. Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. ~ Anonymous

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