Is Being a Virgin a Bad Thing?

Is Being a Virgin a Bad Thing?

Before the age of 19, I couldn’t have cared less about what people had to say about sex. That all changed, however, when I left home for college. My 19th year was a tumultuous time for me: it was my first time away from home, I was struggling to appear adult-like while still holding onto the innocence of my previous years, and most importantly, I became a born-again Christian towards the end of that year.

I was not prepared for the culture that surrounded campus life. People around me were talking about sex, having sex, who they had sex with, who wanted to have sex with them… I was horrified. I couldn’t believe that people my age were sexually active (I come from a conservative family and hardly ever went out). During free periods, I used to sit among newly-made friends and listen wide-eyed as they openly spoke about their sexual exploits. I wouldn’t say that I felt left out, but I did feel quite naïve. Oddly enough, up until the last few months of the first year in college, I didn’t hear much about sex. Nevertheless, it didn’t take me long to realize that I was uncomfortable with the topic of sex, but I didn’t want to come across as being judgemental (especially with being born-again), so I stuck it out. My reasoning was that Jesus Himself had sat down to dinner with prostitutes and taxpayers, so who was I to dissociate myself from them just because they were sexually active? Looking back, I can see that my reasoning was flawed, but it took me years to understand that. I essentially became the poster girl for 1 Corinthians 15:33: Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” I was well on my way to being corrupted.

During my early 20s, I sought to convince myself that if I knew enough about sex, and was comfortable with it, then it wouldn’t irritate me and cause me much discomfort when people talked about it. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, not understanding the peril that I was putting my soul into.

After a few years, I realized that no amount of sex talk would make me any more comfortable with it. I grew tired of speaking about the same things over and over again- how to spice up your love life with different sex positions, how kinky BDSM was, how irresistible Christian Grey was (I didn’t really think that- I just went with the flow), how empowering it was to be in control of your own orgasms with masturbation (something that I have never done) and how sex was totally natural and healthy, especially between two (or three, or more) consenting adults. I twerked along to catchy tunes with suggestive lyrics (all about sex in some form or another), and I danced with the ease of a seductress laying a trap for her prey (okay, I didn’t actually dance in public, but I did do it within the comfort and privacy of my own home). I had become as knowledgeable as an inexperienced person could be, loaded with ammunition to go out and ‘do the nasty’ if I so chose to. But I didn’t choose to. I was at war within myself and felt like a fraud, both as a Christian and a worldly- wannabe- person.

When you sin and do it repeatedly, the Holy Spirit starts to convict you of that sin in order to lead you to repentance. Sure, I was not having sex, but because I thought about it in its various forms, it was just as bad. It is amazing to me as to how I continued to talk and think about something that I truly was not comfortable with!

The Holy Spirit began to counter all of my worldly ways with the Word of GOD. I started to read the Bible more every day and to ask GOD to show me what areas of my life were displeasing to Him. You see, I had a deep yearning within me to get to know GOD, not because someone told me that it was the right thing to do, but because I needed to. I had received a taste of GOD’S presence once before and I wanted more. If you’re Christian, you will know that only the pure-hearted will see GOD. There was no way that I was going to draw near to Him with all the sexual immorality in my life! Needless to say, I repented of my sins and began to purify my mind with GOD’S Word. That meant cutting out secular music, erotic romance novels (not the clean and sweet type), other types of literature pertaining to sex, and refusing to talk about it unnecessarily. It was while removing these factors out of my life that I realized how accustomed I had become to surrounding myself with things of a sexual nature, especially when I still was not comfortable with it.

I will be 29 in about 2 months time. I have never had sex, let alone kissed a guy. Even with all the sex talk, I did not feel the need to date or have sex or even go around kissing guys. In fact, I find the act of kissing rather gross and unsettling. There are people that refuse to believe that I am a virgin and have never been kissed and that’s okay- I don’t expect anyone to believe me, and neither is it my concern. Do I think that I’m better than the non-virgins, especially the Christian ones? Certainly not, and neither do I go around judging people. You do not need me to tell you that sexual immorality is a sin- you already know that the wages of sin is death. I would, however, advise you to consult your Bible to see why you should abstain from sex until marriage. The major reason for me is because I know that I am the Temple of GOD. All other sins happen outside of the body, but when you have sex, you sin against your body. GOD hates any type of sin, whether outside of the body or against the body. What you need to understand is the impact of your sin in the spiritual realm. By sinning, you have basically told Satan: Open gates, come and get me. It is important to examine your own life and your relationship with GOD. Being truthful with yourself is the first step to destroying any strongholds in your mind.

My virginity has nothing to do with being forced. I chose to physically remain a virgin because I want to please GOD and I do not want to open up such doorways for Satan to afflict me. However, it can be said that for a few years, I could not have called myself a virgin due to sexually sinning in my mind. It was only when the Holy Spirit showed me the error of my thinking, that I repented and was forgiven- that sin no longer has any hold over me. Thus not only am I physically a virgin, but I am also a mental virgin (that sounds a bit odd-‘mental’- it’s as if I am calling myself crazy!). If it were up to society, I would have succumbed to peer pressure a long time ago and had physical sex with numerous partners by now. I thank GOD every day that at least some part of me held onto my values and abstained.

Ending Thought: If you are a virgin, then do not let anyone convince you that you are wrong by choosing to remain a one. It’s your choice and it’s your commitment to GOD. You are the only one who will need to give an account for your actions to GOD one day, so stop worrying about the opinions of others. By now you will have no doubt realized that anything contrary to GOD is going to get you into a load of trouble.

Now, if you are not a virgin but you have given your life to Jesus, do not feel condemned for your past choices. Jesus has redeemed you and you are a new creation. All you need to do is repent of your past sexual sins and then believe (key word here is believe) that you have been forgiven. Jesus is not condemning you and neither can anyone else condemn you. He called you for a reason, so get yourself right with Him and start living a life worthy of the calling on your life.

Why ‘Coming Out’ as a Christian at work is so very hard?

Dealing With The Unexpected

Dave is a competent young professional. He looks worn and defeated. In talking about his workplace, he said  that bickering, criticism, and lack of support for Christians had spread through his organisation – a workplace he used to love. Now, he said, “The tension here is so thick I hate going to work.” he says.

Coming Out of The Christian Closet

Almost everyone has a story to tell about a bad boss, a bizarre colleague or a terrible place to work. However, as a Christian based digital media website, we have heard tons of stories of religious discrimination in the workplace.
We are blessed to have freedom of religion in the UK; (these rights are part The Civil Rights Act of 1964 and applies to freedom from religious discrimination, accommodation, and hostile work environment matters in both public and private workplaces) but recently the attacks upon Christians has increased, and people have lost their jobs and closed their businesses as a result of standing up for their belief.  Practicing Christianity at the office or even sharing beliefs seems to touch on nerves, hurt feelings, and ignite high-levels of anger as well as passion in non believers.  And it seems like the workplace climate may be getting worse: the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) considered 3,721 religious discrimination complaints in 2013, up from 1,709 in 1997.
“Secular ideology is so pervasive in the professional environment that we often have a difficult time fitting into the culture of the office. Many of us simply “go with the flow,” choosing to participate in the promotion of secular thought and values rather than risk being ostracized and ridiculed by defending the absolute truth of Christianity and the moral certitude of the distinctively Christian vision.”  
You know what we’re talking about. Do you pray before lunch with a bunch of clients? Do you invite a new friend to church? Do you quote an appropriate Scripture during a dinner party? Do you hand someone your newsletter (FaithMD)?
However, a  poppy is not just for Christmas, and a Christian is not just for the weekend.
But what does it really look like to unite our jobs and faith?  After all office politics can be cruel and unfair and you’ve got to play the game”¦ haven’t you? We mean it’s easier to just to pretend you’re out and avoid that phone call”¦ isn’t it? When you’re putting in that expenses claim”¦ everyone creams a little off the top, so why lose out? And when there’s no holiday left to take but you need a day off, it’s easier to call in sick, isn’t it”¦?  After all the world didn’t come to an end. So, what’s the big deal?
It’s sin — that’s the big deal.

Staying Godly in a Godless Workplace

The following are a few suggestions as to how to practice your faith at work.

Dont’s

  1. You don’t need to open a beauty salon called “A Cut Above” or a coffee shop called “He Brews”  or have to wear a cross or leave a Bible on your desk for others to know that you’re a Christian.
  2. Don’t Engage in Gossip. Even if your workplace only has five employees, it’s almost a given that at least some of them will engage in gossip from time to time.
  3. Don’t Be a Hypocrite. One of the greatest hindrances to the gospel’s effectiveness is Christians who act one way at church and another way elsewhere. If you make your employer a billion dollars yet disgrace Jesus in the process, you’re a failure.
  4. Don’t Hide Away. Our right relationship isn’t just with God, but it’s a right relationship with the world around us.
  5. Don’t lie in the Workplace – Ever. This seems self-evident for Christians, but that’s where we’re under our greatest temptation.
Do’s
  1. Be Righteous.The best witness of your faith is to live it.  Treat others as you would like to be treated, be kind, and do everything with love. This doesn’t mean that you have to meekly accept any wrongs at work or to avoid. “If the salt loses its saltiness, it’s good for nothing.”
  2. Be Hopeful. People of hope don’t lie about the reality of the world, but they are pressing on toward a new day. They inject positive direction in every dark situation.
  3. Be Faithful.  Christians can explain their faith to others confidently and give attractive examples of the Christian life—even in just doing their jobs well.  There’s no such thing as a private faith.
  4. Be About God’s Business and Know God’s Word. After all  the Bible is more a love letter than it is a rulebook, more a reliable compass than it is a measuring rod, more a liberating gift than a heavy restraint.
  5. Be Merciful. Your ability to walk rightly, is not a prowess gained. It is a gift supplied by a loving, merciful God who is shaping us into the image of his Son.
  6. Be Prayerful. There will be people who do not like you for any number of reasons. Make it a practice to pray for the people that don’t seem to like you, who you don’t really get along with, or who just always seem to have something snarky to say to or about you.
  7. Be Relational.  When you are asked, or ordered, to do something that causes turbulence in your Christian conscience, ask questions.
  8. Be Genuine. People of faith are pure in their motives and dealings with others. They don’t put on airs or sniff the air for hints of sinful behavior.
  9. Be Businesslike, But Not All Business. Have a laugh. Not only does laughing relieve stress, but it improves teamwork. Laughing on the job is not wasting time. It’s keeping work in its proper perspective and treating colleagues like human beings instead of tools.
  10. Be a Risk Taker. I realise this somewhat contradicts some of the last points, but the Christian life rests in that tension between risk and prudence. Here’s a hint, safe will always be boring, risks will always be exciting, and closets will always be dark.
  11. Never Forget Who You’re Really Working For Ultimately. Jesus Christ is our boss, and all our actions on the job should bring glory and honor to Him. God planted us in our current job for a particular reason. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together  for good,  for  those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28).

The Gospel: From Oral Tradition to the Written Text

The Gospel: From Oral Tradition to the Written Text

The oral tradition begins our discussion today.  You have to start with the presumption, How did Christ become God?  The phrases used in years gone past is the historical Jesus and The Christ of faith in the New Testament.  The argument goes that the historical Jesus is factually correct but the Church made Christ into a God.  How do we resolve these issues?

How do you prove that the historical Jesus is the same as the Christ of Faith?  We already have evidence that historical Jesus lived and walked the earth.  This was well documented in the previous blog, Did Christ live? Just because you can not prove something does not mean it is not true.

Most cultures even today teach by oral tradition, word of mouth.  During the time of Jesus, nobody could read or write they were illiterate on this point. Does not mean they were stupid. This means that during Jesus time you had an event, then that event was retold over and over again.   Rabbinical teaching would teach by word of mouth, retelling the event over and over again, till the student would remember it and was able to pass it along to others.  This way the student could memorize large portions of the Torah.

In an oral society there are three ways to retell an event;

  1. Informal uncontrolled, which means anyone could tell the event with no controls as to the accuracy of the story.
  2. Formal control, this meant that only the Rabbinical priest could retell the story.
  3. Informal control, this meant during the first century of Christ the apostles or disciples would retell the story.  This is where you see the different versions of events in the gospels between Matthew, Mark or Luke.  However, if you were retelling an event.  You had respected folks in the community that would correct you on your story.  Perhaps they were an eyewitness to something or that was not the way they were taught. So you have differences in the story but it does not take away the core of the story.  It stays factually true.

During the times of Christ in America as early as the 18th-century children were taught to memorize the entire Bible by their parents and the schools. Just a footnote.

We can all remember a core event like when America landed on the moon.  We can retell the core of the story but perhaps not who the astronauts were.  However, in a corporate pool, you have more folks remembering and coming closer to the truth.  It takes on its own life. The core of the story does not change the morality of it.  This was the same mechanisms in place during the time of Christ.

It must be noted that during the first century their memorization skills vastly outpaced ours nowadays.  Everyday life had to be memorized not like today where we write everything down.  Coupled with the fact as it states in John 14: 26,

“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you”.

I believe the Holy Spirit would have made sure the stories retained their accuracy.  So can we trust the gospels with their variations?  I would have to say yes.

Do We Know Who Wrote the Gospels?  We have seen that in an oral society as was the case with Jesus in the first century.  There were rigid traditions in place to safeguard the accuracy of the events.  Keep this in mind when we look at the authorship of the 4 gospels.  The church just would not have assigned just anybody’s name to the different synoptic gospels.  Without having clear evidence of authorship at hand.

What Does the Bible Say About Honesty?

What the Bible Says About Trust and Honesty

Honesty is a character trait every child of God should develop. It is in man’s old, corrupted nature to be deceitful. It is true that you can actually surprise yourself. Jeremiah 17:9 says that one can be deceived by his very own heart. It can be difficult to maintain full awareness of one’s own intentions and motives. However, a person quickened by the Holy Spirit now has the ability to stay aware, for “the Spirit searches all things”. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can make accurate assessments and we can work towards honesty and sincerity.

The Bible share a few things about honesty:

We are to work and do business with honesty.

“Use honest scales and honest weights, an honest ephah and an honest hin.” (Leviticus 19:36)

“You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Deuteronomy 25:15)

In former times, people traded using weights and scales. An unfair yet prevalent business practice was to rig weighing scales so that goods were heavier than they actually were. God did not want His people to participate in that kind of business culture. God desires His people to be honest workers and businessmen. Goods should be presented and priced according to their actual conditions and capacities. Workers should put in honest work hours. Products should arrive as agreed upon.

Let me tell you about Mike. He is a real person. For some years, this God chaser owned and managed a second-hand car sales shop. Prospective buyers came in and were surprised every time. He gave full details of the things that were wrong with the cars they were checking out. He informed people about what was lacking in the cars they took interest in.   And you know what? He actually sold all his cars that way. Every unit he ever had, he sold. God does bless honest people.

We are to speak with honesty.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully  to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” (Ephesians 4:25)

“Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices.”

We will not debate about the rightness of white lies and half-truths which people utter for the “greater good” (like when Corrie Ten Boom lied in order to rescue many Jews from the Holocaust in World War 2).

Let’s talk about plain and simple honesty. When we speak with honesty:

  1. We do not mislead someone into believing something that is not true.
  2. We do not prevent someone from accessing helpful or rightful information.
  3. We do not hide or cover up what is wrong.

God wants His people to be honest. Our speech should not be motivated by a desire to pretend or misrepresent something. We should be genuine and sincere. Our speech should not deprive others of justice. When we’ve wronged someone, we must be ready to admit it and make things right.

Honesty may require us to rebuke others of wrongdoing.

Open rebuke is better than secret love. (Proverbs 27:5)

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.” (Luke 17:3)

“Rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith.” (Titus 1:13)

No good has ever come from suppressing our hurts. You don’t find the resolution you need. No good has ever come from ignoring wrong deeds. The other person does not get better when you stay quiet.   Many times, to confront and rebuke is more fruitful. However, we must remember that the right reason for this is love. So, when we speak truth, we are to speak out of love, in love. (Ephesians 4:15) When we correct, we must correct in a spirit of gentleness. When we speak truth to someone, our desire should never be to prove ourselves right or to flaunt our self-righteousness, but always, to restore the erring person to rightness. (Galatians 6:1)

James E Faust said, “Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.” May God’s people be known for honesty today.

5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

Living in an over-sexualized culture, we hear messages about sex, wrong messages.   These messages become more a part of us than God’s truth because we hear them repetitively and churches are scared to address sexuality.

For too long, I believed the world’s message about sex.   That it’s a superficial, feel-good avenue to self-satisfaction.   Wrong, partly.   God did design sex to feel good!

But, there is more than that.   He designed it for profound spiritual, physical, and emotional connection.   It is just a shadow of things to come.

God’s design of sex is too amazing to keep silent about.

Here are five truths about God’s design of sex in marriage.

God designed sex to be bonding.

Not only spiritually bonding, but emotionally and physically.   When the two become one flesh, biochemicals are released in our bodies like oxytocin and dopamine.   Oxytocin, especially, is a bonding chemical.   When I embraced this truth and started engaging in the marriage bed more, the tone of our marriage completely changed.

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24 (NIV).

God designed sex for both husband and wife to experience pleasure.

It’s an equal opportunity activity.   Why else would there be a clitoris?   It’s only function is for pleasure.   The Song of Solomon is full of beautiful poetic language about the pleasures of physical love for both spouses.

If one spouse struggles with the ultimate moment, there are Christian resources available to help the couple understand how to achieve mutual enjoyment.

“The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved,” Song of Solomon 7:13 (NIV).

God designed sex so that we would know yearning.

Before you were married, you yearned for your fianc.   Not only did you crave your fiance’s touch, you craved his/her presence and knowing him/her better.  Even after years of marriage, it is good to remember this yearning.  It mirrors how God desires us to yearn for him.   I believe this is one reason he frequently uses the marriage as a symbol of his relationship with us throughout the Bible.

“Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?” James 4:5 (NIV).

God designed the marriage bed to be a place to show the fruit of the Spirit.

Peace, patience, love, joy, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control are the foundation of all Christian life, especially the marriage bed.   All conflict surrounding the marriage bed can be managed through employing these key traits.

My own marriage endured a long season of mismatched sex drives.   It was through these qualities and some wise communication tools that we overcame our conflict.

God designed sex as a powerful mystery.

Biblical stories of sex often confused me when I was young.   There was some nasty stuff in the old testament, the rape of Dinah, Lot and his daughters, the men of Gibeah  clammering for the male visitor, Leviticus 20.   And yet, there is the beautiful Song of Solomon.   The New Testament seemed to prefer celibacy, to be honest.   As a teenager, I couldn’t understand why I liked thinking about sex if it was disgraceful and violent.

But, as an adult, I realized the stories were teaching me that sexual intimacy is powerful and mysterious.   It’s OK not to have it all figured out, as long as you respect the power it holds to do good when it is aligned with God’s perfect design.

“For my thoughts  are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the  Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways  and my thoughts than your thoughts,” Isaiah 55:8-9.

Final Thoughts

Don’t let the world’s message of cheap sex destroy the meaningful sex in your marriage.   Sex may only be a small portion of the whole of your marriage.   However, sex matters.   It especially matters if one spouse is more interested than the other.   When we ignore its power and importance in marriage, the relationship suffers.

Now, granted chronic health issues can affect sexual function and that’s a more complicated story.

 

Would You Kill A Child? The Folly and Hypocrisy of Subjective Truth

Would You Kill A Child?

Something is either true or it isn’t. There is no third option.

This can get dicey and offend people very quickly, but that doesn’t change the truth. Subjective truth is a lie that people cling to, covering their eyes, declaring they are fine as they walk off a cliff.

How can I write something so bold? How can I tell you that any notion of “relative truth” is nonsense?

A simple thought experiment will help explain this. Let’s say that you are a believer in “subjective truth”, that something can be true for you, but not true for me. In essence, we make our truth. Truth can be this way one day, and change the next. What you believe is good for you, and what I believe is for me, and we should just let that be. These are your beliefs.

Let’s also say that I am not a believer in “subjective truth” and oppose you. I maintain that truth is consistent. That the truth is unchanging, regardless of time, space, cultural differences, and such things. What is true, is true.

To stir up trouble, a third individual enters and holds the same views as you. She is a believer in “subjective truth”. Then she says, “Killing children is okay.”

For me, hearing “killing children is okay” immediately strikes me as wrong. Jesus taught that all killing was wrong, even going so far as to say that hatred of a brother was sin (Matthew 5). The very idea that killing kids would ever be okay is such a bad, wrong, evil idea, that it is just a lie to suggest otherwise.

But now, you, as the believer in subjective truth, must decide. Is killing children okay?

Is that a truth that can exist alongside other truths like, killing children is always wrong?

Would you allow such an idea, something that churns and turns your stomach, something you know to be wrong, to be called truth?

It would take a very sick individual to say that it is subjectively true that killing children is okay. We would call them a monster, a person that is in need of serious help. We all know that killing children is wrong. We know it in our gut. Some things are wrong. Some things are the truth, regardless.

If you believe in subjective truth, try telling yourself that it is fine if someone in the world thinks that killing kids is okay. And then sit comfortably with that idea, that someone is out there, killing kids, believing that they are doing nothing wrong.

You can’t, can you?

This is where subjective truth falls apart. This is where the hypocrisy lies. Because no one in their right mind would be okay with the killing of children. No one would say that is acceptable to anyone. Subjective truth cannot bear the weight of such an idea.

The truth is that no one should ever kill children. It is wrong. Across time, space, cultural differences. It is wrong, evil, satanic, whatever other words you would use. Killing kids is absolutely wrong. And that is an absolute, unchangeable truth.

That is the folly of subjective truth. Here comes the hypocrisy.

As you think about how to decide about this third individual claim that killing children is okay, you actually are facing a much bigger dilemma.

Because if you say that their subjective truth is wrong, you are saying that all subjective truth is wrong. You are asserting that they are wrong in their notion of a truth that is only applicable to them. You are asserting that there may be rules that are true no matter what.

But, if you say that some subjective truths are wrong…could yours be wrong too?

Asserting that any subjective truth is wrong puts your own ideas of truth under the microscope. Suddenly all the ideas of truth that you were holding onto start crumbling. The whole notion that you can believe something and someone else believe something different and be equally right suddenly doesn’t hold.

Will you assert the absolute truth that killing kids is wrong? Or go against what you say you believe. Can it be okay for some people and wrong for others?

Consider these things, and consider this the end of the thought experiment.

The Bible tells us that God has written his Law in our hearts. Even people that have never read the words of Jesus still have an understanding because God hasn’t hidden this away from them. God has inscribed it on their hearts; some things are wrong, some things are right, some are true, and some are lies.

“For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. (Indeed, when Gentiles (non-Jews), who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.)” – Romans 2:13-15

There are absolute truths that do not change, regardless of time and space or cultural differences. There are some truths that are bigger than you and me and our opinion of things. To say that all truth is subjective is to stand on the very shaky ground. The hypocrisy, the inability to hold it’s self up to a simple test, shows just how weak and feeble this idea is.

We shouldn’t settle for a truth that changes with the wind. We shouldn’t be okay with a truth that is relative to who we are, where we are, or when we are. We should build our lives on nothing than absolute truth. We should anchor our lives to the truth that doesn’t depend on us. The best place to start doing that is found in the person of Jesus.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6

Cling to Him, the unchanging Truth, and abandon the hypocrisy of subjective truth.

This blog first appeared on Christian Thought Sandbox.

24 Lecrae Quotes that Will Challenge How You Practice Faith

Lecrae Devaughn Moore

He performs to packed venues all around the world, he has sold millions of albums and he has countless fans that hang on his every song. Most people reading this could tell their own stories. He has that effect on people.

Lecrae Devaughn Moore (born October 9, 1979), might be best described as a poet. Someone with a rare gift to channel his mighty intellect and generous spirit through an artful, unparalleled mix of wit, and spectacular clarity using rap music.

Born and raised by his single mother in Southern Houston, Texas. As an American Christian hip hop recording artist, songwriter, record producer, and actor Lecrae is the president, co-owner, and co-founder of the independent record label Reach Records.

Reach’s mission is “changing the way people see the world.”

Experiencing abuse and neglect during his childhood, Moore used his ability to rap as a source of significance. Lecrae eventually turned from drugs to alcohol consumption and a party lifestyle and became a “misfit of a person.”  Moore currently resides in Atlanta since relocating there from Memphis in 2009 and is married to Darragh Moore, who also handles the business portion of his career. The couple has three children together.

Lecrae is one of very few artists operating in the Christian genre to hit No. 1 on the Billboard. To date, he has released seven bestselling albums, two mixtapes and won two Grammy awards and a Billboard Music Award in the process and landed a global distribution deal with Red Distribution/Sony Music for the record label he co-owns, Reach Records.

Critics are  uncomfortable  with Lecrae’s recent music because it is no longer a monologue preaching an agenda.

 “Lecrae engages with culture and dialogues with the modern secular world and is looking to break mold of a Christian rapper.”

Lecrae isn’t alone. Artists like Propaganda, Andy Mineo, John Givez, JGivens, Beautiful Eulogy, Trip Lee, KB, Jackie Hill Perry, Social Club, and Tedashii are engaging culture and bringing restoration to hip-hop and the world through great music.

Here are some of Lecrae’s most powerful quotes that can help re-inspire the way you live your faith.

  1. “Why live for the approval of men when you can have the approval of their Creator? What can they give you that God can’t?” – Lecrae
  2.  “Suppressing your hurts is like not tending to a bullet wound. Eventually, you will bleed out. Don’t numb pain, express it.” – Lecrae
  3. “Live like someone died for you.” – Lecrae
  4. “If people throw stones at you, pick ’em up and build something.“ – Lecrae
  5. “The less time you spend with Truth, the easier it is to believe lies.“ – Lecrae
  6. “Life is like a dice, so watch the ones you’re rolling with.“ – Lecrae
  7. “We fear circumstances so much because we fear God so little.” – Lecrae
  8. “If I’m wrong about God then I wasted my life. If you’re wrong about God then you wasted your eternity.“ – Lecrae
  9. “People will hurt you. But don’t use that as an excuse for your poor choices, use it as motivation to make the right ones.“ – Lecrae
  10. “Prayer doesn’t bend God’s arm but it’s guaranteed to bend our hearts toward His will. Worry less. Pray more.” – Lecrae.“ – Lecrae
  11. “Christians aren’t people who never sin or always do the right thing. We’re people who live in continual repentance.” – Lecrae
  12. “Don’t follow your feeling. Just follow the word.” – Lecrae
  13. “I’m not a Christian because I’m strong and have it all together. I’m a Christian because I’m weak and admit I need a Savior.“ – Lecrae
  14. “Better to have a small role in God’s story than to cast yourself as the lead in your own fiction.“ – Lecrae
  15. “God gave you your own race to run, stop comparing yourself to other people. They have their race and you have yours. Run hard and don’t quit.“ – Lecrae
  16. “Some work hard to acquire money only to find in the end that money acquired them.” – Lecrae
  17. “When you’re worrying you’re not praying. Stop worrying start praying.” – Lecrae
  18. “Believe the best about people. Pray for their shortcomings. You are not the standard. We all need grace.“ – Lecrae
  19. “Character isn’t who you are when life goes your way. Character is who you really are when the bottom falls out.“ – Lecrae
  20. “God is never late, we’re just impatient.“ – Lecrae
  21. “Don’t waste your time explaining who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” – Lecrae.“ – Lecrae
  22. “A man who is too afraid to admit his fears is a man who won’t overcome them.” – Lecrae
  23. “God is not bothered by your persistence. Keep asking.“ – Lecrae
  24. A controversy has been brewing in Christian hip-hop and at the center of this controversy is rapper Lecrae and the record label he co-founded, Reach Records.

The New Day: How Should I Think About My Failures?

Gratitude Attitude 2017 #22

Everyone wants to be a success. I have never met anyone who purposely set out to be a failure. Undoubtedly, this is why so much has been written on the topic “How to be a Success” and why these books are so popular.

However, The New Day daily newspaper closed just nine weeks after launching, Trinity Mirror confirms.

The New Day was a British compact daily newspaper published by Trinity Mirror, launched on 29 February 2016. It was aimed at a middle-aged female audience and was politically neutral. The editor, Alison Phillips, intended readers to get through the newspaper in under 30 minutes.

The new paper was initially available for 25p for two weeks, then rising to 50p.  Two million copies of the New Day was  given away on the first day, as the turquoise-branded upstart attempted to spark a revival in readership and gain ground against the mid-market Mail and Express offline.

Arrogance about their own ability to rescue a situation can prevent leaders from changing course

The New Day had no leading articles, no website, and columnists  and believed it could successfully  drag readers back to print?  The sad truth is that it did not attract enough attention and  failed to create  a daily newspaper that could  co-exist in the  digital age, especially as tabloids and broadsheets continue to  suffer a significant circulation decline.

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Shareholders at Trinity Mirror’s annual meeting called the failure “demoralising”. Analysts said it was “embarrassing”.

Assume for a moment that the leaders of The New Day  had no idea  about the changes swamping the print media as a result of the digital revolution,  and carelessly  decided to invest  millions into the venture without undertaking a risk assessment and  also decided to  ignore every indication that the paper was failing.  That would have been embarrassing and demoralising.

However, the leaders decided to fail quickly and  shut down the project they  started.

Abandonment is a rare, difficult and a valuable management skill. The natural instinct of most people is to persist, particularly  when the project is a collective commitment, as most corporate ventures are,  but then  it becomes even harder to hit the red “stop” button.

The New Day’s editor, Alison Phillips, said in a statement posted on Facebook that the team “tried everything we could” but were unable to reach the figures needed to make it work financially.

We dread failure. We don’t like talking about it. Some of us will internalise and rethink our failures in our heads time and time again. Others will swipe them away, moving onto the next thing immediately. In the public, we prefer sweeping our failures under the rug, silently, while nobody is watching.

While this might save our feelings momentarily, this is not the way learn and innovate.

the new day

According to Albert Savoia – ex Googler and innovation expert,  most project innovations will fail.

“Most New Things Will Fail – Even If They Are Flawlessly Executed.” – Albert Savoia – Ex Googler

Does this mean you should stay away from trying new things (and failing in the process)? Certainly not. It just means you need to accept failure will inevitably be a part of the process.

In most cases, however, a combination of arrogance about personal ability to rescue the situation and blindness to the lengthening odds of success stops  leaders from changing course.

The natural lifespan of most projects is finite, and the rarities are companies that survive.

The Art of “strategic Quitting” Will Become More Important as Careers Fragment and Companies Exert More Discipline

So if an idea is doomed, organisations usually treat the person who pulled the plug  early on as a hero right? Not exactly, it’s complicated.

Roy Greenslade, Professor of Journalism at City University London, wrote a report in The Guardian explaining how The New Day had failed. He pinpointed the error of marketing a newspaper to people who inherently despise  newspapers, and the short period of time  between the announcement and launch, leaving  no  time to advertise the product. It was also published early in the evening  thus missing out on late-night breaking news such as Leicester City F.C.’s shock win of the Premier League.

“Nothing so powerfully concentrates a man’s mind on innovation as the knowledge that the present product or service will be abandoned in the foreseeable future.” – Peter Drucker

The first thing the Bible wants to say is that all of us have failed. None is without failure. If you think you haven’t failed, two things are true of you. One is you are blind to your failures and the other is you probably haven’t taken enough risks to try enough hard things so that you would be aware of your failures.

Peter Drucker’s influence on business management is legendary.  Peter  realised  that “systematic abandonment”   a regular, unsentimental spring-clean is critical to the fostering of new business ideas.

Conclusion,  every organization needs to have a regular “rummage sale” to determine which products, services, and programs are worth keeping and which ones must be abandoned.

 

How to Cope with a Mis-Sold Job

How to cope with a mis-sold job

Everyone knows a story about a smart and talented professional  who has lost his or her passion for a role, who no longer looks forward to going to the office yet remains stuck without a visible way out.  Getting on the career ladder is a great thing, you start off at the bottom and work your way up, but sometimes you can get stuck and do not even realize it.

“One in Five Employees Claim They Were Mis-sold Opportunities When They Joined Their Organisation – Kelly Global Workforce Index (Kgwi).”

Commenting on the findings,  Debbie Pettingill, Director, Kelly Services UK and Ireland said

“Employee retention will become an increasing challenge for employers as we move out of the recession. As we move into a more candidate driven market, this trend is likely to accelerate. Our findings indicate that this problem is being exacerbated by the misrepresentation of job role or company culture at the interview stage, leading to the dissatisfaction of new hires.”

Most of us know what we are trying to escape a “mis-sold” job  resulting in a  narrowly defined career, inauthentic or unstimulating work, numbing corporate politics, and  perhaps  blackmail including direct  threats of being used as a scapegoat. A job where you are both overlooked and underappreciated.  One may ring true for some of you.

“Fewer than Half of Uk Employees Are Happy with the Way Their Careers Are Progressing According to New British Research.”

Why Would A  Company or Person Block Your Move?

Well, this could be because of his or her personal insecurity  i.e. as the team works well, why rock the boat? Comfort zone: sometimes the team gets too comfortable? Golden child syndrome: you’re working your butt off and your sponsor or other senior  is reaping the recognition from your amazing deliverables?

Working a job you don’t like can leave you feeling stuck, forgotten by God, and asking yourself questions like:

Why hasn’t God opened another door for me yet?  

Why is God not moving?  

Why would God leave me here in this job I hate?

But the truth is God has not left you. He’s not holding back on you. When you feel God is silent, that’s exactly when He’s moving!  Your situation does not change God. He still loves you and is with you no matter what.

Instead of looking at our situation from a perspective of fear and worry, we need to look at it through faith and hope.

What Can You Do About it?

Don’t fret, you can handover your work or completely leave the organisation and still stay sane. You might worry that announcing your intentions will cause your company grief, but ultimately you have to do what’s best for you no matter what!

Think and pray long and hard about how you’re going to drop this bombshell  as you  will need  to give notice. A  sound method is required to overcome the assault and possible backlash – including of course more prayer and fasting.

So how are you going to approach it? What’s your reasoning going to be?  How are you going to get them to understand exactly why you’re doing this?  What do you need to do in order to prepare for the big day?

Easy, you’re going to read this guide.

Strategy 1 – Remote Working Arrangement

This could  be a great approach if 80% of your  work can be  undertaken  remotely. However, while there is a very logical argument to be made in favor of working from home, many people equate remote work to a lack of productivity and laziness. These people do not realize that the switch from an office to working from home can actually lead to significant increases in productivity.

Strategy 2 – What’s in It for Me?

What’s in it for me?   That question sounds a little selfish, doesn’t it?  Maybe you  aren’t being compensated fairly, or you’re not happy with the effort vs return.  When you know your client and team needs you and you’re willing to stay for a price, don’t mess around.  Give them the real number or offer that will make it worth your while to stick it out for awhile.

Strategy 3  –  The Budget Cut

The re-structuring.  The downsizing.  The dreaded budget cut.  Whatever name you want to give it, this  can be terrifying  for a lot of professionals.  However,  if you’re  already thinking about leaving, so maybe it doesn’t have to be such a scary thing.  In fact, maybe it can be  extremely  positive for both  parties.

Strategy 4  –  The Ease Out

Still feeling weary  about leaving the organization.  Propose easing yourself out of the post.  Pick a time frame, maybe four weeks or so, and come up with a plan for slowly taking yourself out of the position.  This also allows you some time to slowly ramp down your time commitment.

Strategy 5 –  Burning Bridges in the Industry  

“Sometimes it’s about networking and being nice to people and not burning any bridges – but remembering to draw line where you must.”

There’s no harm in an early exit from a job you never plan to mention again or an interim role where you have clearly agreed on a start and finish date.  But if your manager is well connected to your industry you should try to leave on a good note.  Why? Because it’s a small world and the next hiring manager may put in a call to his or her former colleague  (a.k.a., your new manager) to get the unofficial scoop.  It happens, so if you’re going to leave anyway then try to fulfill your end of the deal.

Strategy 6  – Get Moving Fast

Imagine, for example, that you were hired to help the company manage multiple programmes and projects  across the globe, but a recent change in leadership means all efforts moving forward will be focused locally.

If you’re spending your days just trying to find ways to be productive or are undertaking a role you never signed up for, you have every right to pursue new opportunities. Of course, the first course of action should normally be to  discuss this with your manager to see if there are other roles you can take on. But if you know that this isn’t going to happen in the new world, get moving fast.

Strategy 7  – Your Dream Job Awaits

“When you’re being interviewed, always treat the interview as a 50-50 thing,” says Andy Dallas, a director at Robert Half International, recruitment consultants. “Ask what you can expect to be doing in your first week, month and three months. Ask what a successful year looks like.”

Dream jobs don’t come every day. So, if you have a chance at yours, take it quickly  and congratulate yourself for being strong enough to leave when you were unhappy.

Strategy 8 – Remeber to Be Patient  

We will not always be in a job we desire. Maybe you are fresh out of school and are working a job that has nothing to do with the degree you just earned. Maybe you are in a situation where you are working at a job where you are overqualified, overworked, and fed up. Maybe, for the most part, you love your job but get discouraged by the mundane tasks that take up time from doing the aspects of your job you love most.    

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” – James 4:10 NIV

Here’s the thing: God will still use this season to grow, develop, and prepare you. Any season that humbles us is preparing us for what God has next.

Any thoughts to share?

Why Should I Hire a Project Manager for My Church Project?

Is it worth hiring a project manager when any seemingly knowledgeable pastor or church member might do?

The truth is, project managers can be a valuable asset to any organization. Whereas the average church member who is only familiar with certain tasks might be overwhelmed by the complexity of major organizational assignments, project managers are trained to handle programs with elaborate factors such as high budgets, increased manpower and layers of duties.

An Astounding 97% of Organizations Believe Project Management Is Critical to Business Performance and Organizational Success. (Source: PricewaterhouseCoopers)

On the flip side, some professional bodies disagree, arguing that professionals like pastors, marketers, and accountants are able to manage projects just as well as any project manager with some effort.

Barely over Half (56%) of Project Managers Are Certified  (Source: Wrike)

“It’s a raging debate,” said Tony Marks, author of the 20:20 Project Management guide.

“Some industries, such as oil and gas, are hesitant to hire outside project management specialists because they may lack industry knowledge. Instead, these industries prefer to employ technical experts and put them through project management training.”

“The danger is that these  people  are more likely to get  sucked into their comfort zone dealing with the nitty-gritty and technical detail they understand and are fascinated by when they should be managing the project,” said Tony Marks.

In addition to being trained to juggle tasks efficiently, project managers spend an enormous amount of time honing their skills. Much more goes into the craft than obtaining Prince2 or APM certifications.

According to Mike Savage of Thales Training and Consultancy, the International Project Management Association requires its professionals to have at least 15 years of experience and training. The association has four grades from D to A. At the A level, project managers must have a minimum of five years project management experience, five years of program management and five years of portfolio management.

“So to Say That Anyone Can Be a Project Manager Is like Saying Anyone Can Be a Brain Surgeon, Said Savage.”

But just because there are individuals specializing in project management doesn’t mean non-specialists can’t learn the techniques as well. Ian Clarkson of training course provider QA encourages everyone to learn project management practices.

“The skills, leadership, planning and stakeholder engagement techniques are vital to all disciplines,” he said.

“Projects which are run by engineers with project management training are less likely to be successful than the reverse,” said Lloyd’s Register energy program director Roger Clutton. “If there is a lack of technical expertise that will show up in the risk assessment. But a lack of project management skills is much less likely to be detected.”

With that, it seems that the argument on whether or not hiring an outside project management is necessary will continue. But the debate only seems relevant to rival professions as there is projected to be 15 million new project management jobs within the decade. (Source: Project Management Institute).

No matter how you look at it, though, it seems that trained and experienced project managers  must be  worth their weight in gold.

 

4 Lies about Procurement You Probably Believe

The world of Procurement is seemingly full of impassioned people absolutely certain about what procurement is all about. Like other great lies, many of these half-truths and misleading ideas sound agreeable to the ears and come packaged as good advice from influential people.

How many of these popular lies have you fallen victim to?

1. Procurement should have a seat at the C-table

It’s not so much an outright lie as an irritating half-truth – but the damage comes with what Procurement people do with it. The thought behind this is well-intended: Procurement people should be able to speak the language of senior executives as easily as they can talk about FIDIC or demand forecasting. Terms such as EBITDA, ROIC, and economic profit should be part of their everyday parlance. Procurement issues are often the least understood by the board and the CEO and must be explained in their language.

What on earth could be wrong with that?   Nothing – if the Procurement people have full cognisance of their own tools and language – and can be persuasive to senior people of the value of Procurement.  

Now, that’s where we have, what is kindly referred to, as a skills gap.

In reality, for Procurement with no reputation (outside of that pesky metric of cost) and few business-aligned projects to call upon, it can be incredibly hard to try and catch senior people’s ear – never mind a C-seat (see what I did there?).

2. You must carry out a competitive tender to obtain value for money

I’m trying to distance myself from the public sector here (noting I did co-author the CIPS book on contracting in the public sector) but even in the private sector there’s a desperate need to get three quotes.  

Why three quotes?  

Not five, not 11?   ‘Cos the rules say three; that’s why.  

And the rules of Procurement policy and procedures, well, they can’t be broken because the CFO or the head of internal audit (all very commercial animals?) will be down on Procurement like a ton of bricks.  

When the three quotes are received the following conversation occurs – the highest price is rejected – ‘they’re ripping us off’ followed by – and I love this one about the lowest price quotation – ‘the price is too low, they must have got the specification wrong’ – and the contract is awarded to the middle-priced one”¦.surely there’s a better way to deliver value for money?  

Perhaps starting with actually defining it!

3. Procurement is the only source of governance for 3rd party spend

Being the only source would suggest a 100%, right?  

I’d be amazed – and delighted – if Procurement governed half of all the 3rd party spend.   Words such as ‘influencing’ are sometimes bandied about to shore up this lie. What a surprise that sales people are either trained, or very quickly learn ways, to actually bypass Procurement when selling.

And the reason?

Obviously marketing, IT, auditors fees, construction/property, recruitment (I could go on) is completely different, say the senior people in those departments – echoing the views of the oh so helpful sales people.   And Procurement just never gets near, as they can’t articulate (deliver?) the value they can add.  

I await the avalanche of people commenting on this telling me I’m wrong.   Please be assured you are exceptional in Procurement.    

4. Procurement welcome innovation and strategic relationships and anything other than lower price

Few businesses view Procurement as a strategic process. Most often, Procurement staff report to the CFO. This astonishing trend indicates that Procurement is still viewed as a financial / accounting activity and not an operational strategic activity that directly impacts the bottom line.

Suppliers; if you have an innovative product or service, recognise that Procurement’s ‘raison d’être’ is to deliver cost savings.   That’s what they are measured on, that’s what the research with CPOs and the C-suite say is the #1 priority.   There’s oodles of other priorities such as local sourcing, sustainability, innovation, partnering, risk management – I could go on and on and on.   But that’s the one they get measured on. Think that through, next time you’re pitching.    

The take-away

Perspectives on Procurement need to change, mature and grow up.  Lies like these need to be re-evaluated and abandoned. Procurement needs to change the way they engage and manage suppliers and their internal stakeholders; ‘adding value’ (a dreadful phrase!) means so much more than asking for a discount.

Stephen Ashcroft BEng MSc MCIPS (speaking here, very much in a personal capacity!) is Associate Director, Procurement and Commercial Advisory at AECOM, a Fortune 500 company. He’s a procurement learner stuck in the body of a procurement veteran, and with over 20 years’ experience still sees the glass as half full. Working with leading organisations across diverse industry sectors, Steve helps clients reimagine procurement to drive improved performance. A recognised advisor, speaker, lecturer, and author; the ever-hopeful Kopite shares his bright-eyed/world-weary views on Twitter @ThinkProcure, LinkedIn and his blog.

 

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