Category: life

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The Rest of the Week: Sign of Christ’s Power

The Sabbath holds a unique place in the lives of believers, standing as a testament to both creation and redemption. This sacred day, set apart by God, is more than just a time for rest; it is a powerful symbol of our relationship with the Creator. In this blog post, we explore the significance of the Sabbath as a sign of Christ’s power and consider the ways it is under attack in the contemporary world.

The Biblical Foundation

In Exodus 31:13, God commands the children of Israel to keep the Sabbath as a sign of His covenant with them:

“Speak thou also unto the children of Israel, saying, Verily my sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations; that ye may know that I am the LORD that doth sanctify you.”

This verse highlights the Sabbath’s role as a perpetual reminder of God’s sanctifying power. It is not merely a day of physical rest but a spiritual symbol that points to God’s creative and redemptive work.

The Desire of Ages

Ellen G. White, in her book “The Desire of Ages,” underscores the spiritual battle surrounding the Sabbath. She writes:

“As the Jews departed from God and failed to make the righteousness of Christ their own by faith, the Sabbath lost its significance to them. Satan was seeking to exalt himself and to draw men away from Christ, and he worked to pervert the Sabbath, because it is the sign of the power of Christ.”

White’s words remind us that the Sabbath is intrinsically linked to Christ’s righteousness. As believers stray from this understanding, the true essence of the Sabbath is overshadowed. Satan’s strategy involves distorting this holy day, turning attention away from Christ’s sanctifying power.

Sabbath Under Attack Today

In today’s world, the true Sabbath faces numerous challenges. Societal pressures, secularism, and the commercialization of weekends often diminish its significance. Here are some ways the Sabbath is under attack:

  1. Commercialization and Consumerism: The increasing trend of businesses operating seven days a week blurs the distinction of the Sabbath. Shopping malls, entertainment venues, and online retail offer non-stop distractions, drawing people away from dedicating time to spiritual reflection and rest.
  2. Secularism: As secular ideologies gain ground, the importance of the Sabbath is often downplayed or ignored. In many cultures, Sunday has become just another day for leisure activities rather than a holy day of rest and worship.
  3. Misinterpretation: Within Christianity itself, there are varying interpretations of the Sabbath. Some denominations observe Sunday instead of the traditional Sabbath (Saturday), leading to confusion and division among believers.
  4. Digital Distractions: The rise of digital technology and social media presents constant distractions that can encroach on Sabbath observance. The temptation to engage with work emails, social media, and streaming services can easily erode the sanctity of this day.

Embracing the True Sabbath

Despite these challenges, believers can take steps to uphold the sanctity of the Sabbath. Here are some practical tips:

  1. Intentional Rest: Make a conscious effort to set aside work and daily chores. Use the Sabbath to rest physically and spiritually, reflecting on God’s creation and redemption.
  2. Community Worship: Engage with your faith community through worship services, Bible study, and fellowship. These activities can strengthen your connection to God and fellow believers.
  3. Family Time: Use the Sabbath to strengthen family bonds. Share meals, engage in meaningful conversations, and participate in activities that promote spiritual growth and togetherness.
  4. Nature Walks: Spend time in nature to appreciate God’s creation. Nature walks can provide a peaceful setting for meditation and prayer, allowing you to reconnect with the Creator.

Conclusion

The Sabbath is a profound symbol of Christ’s power and our relationship with God. In a world filled with distractions and secular influences, it is crucial to remember and uphold the true significance of this holy day. By intentionally setting aside time for rest, worship, and reflection, we can experience the transformative power of the Sabbath and share its truth with those around us.

Sabbath Tip

Since the Sabbath reminds us that Jesus is our Creator and Redeemer, it’s no wonder it has become one of the prime battlegrounds in the great controversy. Reflect on the ways the true Sabbath is under attack in our world today. Pray for opportunities to share the truth about this holy day with those around you, helping them to understand its profound significance.

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The Christian Way

The Christian Way
The Bible tells us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”. God’s good purpose for all Christians is that we are “conformed to the likeness of his Son”. Christians are to reflect Jesus’ perfection both in their character and in their body. If you have already accepted Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord, then God’s Spirit is already at work in you “to will and to act according to his good purpose”. This purpose will be completed at Jesus’ return.
Scripture tells us that Christians make progress toward becoming like Jesus, when they strive to love others as he did. This type of love is called ‘Agape’. Whenever you do something good for someone, deserving or undeserving, you are acting on the power of agape. Christ is both the source and the Christian’s model of agape, for “God demonstrates his own love for us in that: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”. Christians can love this way because “God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit” (Romans 5:5).
Today, when you use your gifts to make yourself appear superior to others, you are not gaining anything in the Christian life. But when you use your gifts to build others up, you are becoming more like Jesus!
I will show you the most excellent way. (1 Corinthians 12:31).
Let’s Pray
Yahweh, thank you for your good purpose for me. Thank you, Christ, for modelling God’s agape love to me. Holy Spirit, continue to deepen God’s love in me, until I attain Christ’s perfection. In Christ’s name, Amen.
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Unveiling the Narrative: Language, Perception, and the African Identity

In the complex tapestry of human interactions, language has become a lens through which we perceive, label, and categorize ourselves and others. This thought-provoking exploration delves into the intricacies of language and its role in shaping perceptions, particularly in the context of Africans and their global counterparts. From the terminology surrounding migrations to the biases ingrained in linguistic norms, let’s unravel the layers of a discourse that questions our shared humanity.

Blog:

Voyages of Discovery vs. Illegal Immigrants:

The journey from Europe to Africa is romanticized as a “voyage of discovery,” invoking images of exploration and curiosity. However, when the direction reverses, Africans moving to Europe are often labeled as “illegal immigrants,” laden with connotations of criminality and transgression. Here lies the first thread in the fabric of linguistic bias.

Refugees vs. Tourists:

A group of Africans seeking refuge in Europe is termed “refugees,” underscoring their dire circumstances and the humanitarian need for assistance. Contrastingly, a group of Europeans in Africa engaging in leisurely pursuits is benignly dubbed “tourists,” emphasizing their privilege and choice of exploration. Language subtly influences our perception of their circumstances.

Poachers vs. Hunters:

Venture into the bush, and the terminology takes a stark turn. Africans in the same environment are branded as “poachers,” echoing criminality and environmental harm. On the other hand, Europeans engaged in similar activities are adorned with the more benign term “hunters,” implying a connection to nature and tradition.

Foreigners vs. Expats:

Black individuals working abroad are often relegated to the label of “foreigners,” emphasizing their perceived distance from the norm. In contrast, white individuals in similar positions are graciously titled “expats,” conveying a sense of expertise and cultural exchange. The contrast raises questions about the power dynamics embedded in language.

The Language of Intelligence:

One of the most poignant observations centers on language proficiency. When individuals from various countries struggle with English, Africans often face stigmatization, being labeled as unintelligent, illiterate, or even dumb. This reveals a deep-seated bias, where English proficiency becomes a misguided measure of intelligence, perpetuating a harmful narrative.

Breaking the Chains of Mental Slavery:

The blog concludes with a powerful call to action. It challenges the normalized prejudices woven into our language, urging Africans to reclaim their narrative. Embracing native languages and rejecting the imposition of foreign linguistic norms is posited as a path to breaking free from mental oppression.

Conclusion:

In this nuanced examination of language, perception, and identity, we confront the biases embedded in our linguistic choices. The blog invites readers to reflect on the impact of language on our understanding of the world, urging a collective effort to dismantle stereotypes and foster a more inclusive, enlightened discourse.

#AfricanNarrative #LanguageMatters #CulturalPerceptions #MigrationDiscourse #LinguisticBiases #BreakingChains #Inclusivity #GlobalConversations #AfricanLanguages #ColonialLegacy #HumanityShared

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Cultivating a Faith Based Marriage

A friend once asked me how do I keep a faith based marriage? It wasn’t something that happened overnight, it was a marriage lifestyle that we had to cultivate. Jesus’s sermon on the mount of olives taught us the values and way of life he wishes for us to live. I use this as inspiration in my marriage to create a Christ like way of life.

We are taught to have a thirst for righteousness, and to humble ourselves. Pride was one of my big sins that was hard to let go of and today it still challenges me. Couples prayer not only brings us together united with the Lord, it humbled my pride. I was always so afraid to say the prayer out loud with my husband, out of the fear that I would say it wrong.

Praying together allows you to get on the same page spiritually and bring your bond closer to God. This is exactly what marriage is, a union between souls and heavenly father. As you grow closer to God you become more like him. This impacts your marriage positively as you are improving yourself as a human being. Becoming more like God is practicing patience, forgiveness and compassion. These traits we all need in a successful marriage.

As Christians we need to be makers of peace, yet in marriage it is not always that easy. We must learn to not always be right and practice making peace. A good way to avoid conflict is to plan ahead. Having a family meeting once a week can not only be practical but it can be spiritual too. Open your meeting with a prayer and then talk about what you have going on that week, and what you may need help with. This way neither partner feels like something has been sprung on them. We all forget events at some time or another so a reminder never hurts. It also lays out our expectations in our partner for the week, instead of assuming they will do the dishes because you had a late night with friends or make the bed because now you are now first out of bed. It makes it your expectations clear and gives the other partner the opportunity to discuss if that is something they may or may not want to commit too. Remember we are all human, we can only do so much in a day, week, or year. We both need to adopt the mind set of being the peacemaker. Practice compassion, active listening and focus on communicating well with your partner.

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Is it a SIN for Christians to have sex on Sunday (within Marriage)?

Is it a SIN to have sex on Sunday (within Marriage)?

“Would it be wrong for a Christian married couple to engage in sex on the Lord’s Day?”

This topic was raised at a bible study last week. They weren’t addressing this specifically, but I decided to see what the internet had to say. A participant raised an issue: “I am struggling with a sin,” he confessed. “I am tempted to have sex with my wife on the Lord’s Day.” Another member said “I feel guilty going to church after having sex, so is having sex before going to church godly or ungodly?”.

The topic is not uncommon, and it raises a diversity of opinions, although little has been published. The word sex is not found in the Bible. The numerous mentions of the word in society, and the world’s tendency to sneer, have given the word a certain amount of notoriety. But God never intended it to be a dirty word.

What does the Bible say on the subject? First, although our title says “Sunday” I thought if anyone has an opinion on this, the Seventh Day Adventists may be more schooled than most in the area of “Sabbath” and found this article:

”¦There are a couple of schools of thought:

(1) Yes it is a sin.

The leading argument against engaging in sex on Sabbath is based on Isaiah 58:13: “If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day” (KJV). Since sex is pleasurable, scriptural injunction against engaging in intercourse on Sabbath is seen as obvious.3

Another significant argument against sex on Sabbath is that it is distracting. For this reason, some ministers boast that they sleep in separate beds from their spouse on Friday nights.

Another is that the Bible also says in Exodus 20:8 “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.”

(2) No it’s not a sin.

Social Psychologist and Seventh-day Adventist Preacher Philip C. Willis gives us the answer in detail. Willis say’s:

It would appear that somebody is misapplying Isaiah 58:13 & 14. They take one text and forget Mark 2:28.

Why?

Philip C. Willis then say’s:

The Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath!

Now get this. Who made sex? God made male and female and then he told them Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth. And on which day did he say this on. At the end of the sixth day and the sixth day is what day? Friday!

So they went into the Sabbath on their honeymoon! And the Bible says they were naked and they were not ashamed. Shame only came with sin. You forget that God made sex for you to enjoy.

You need to understand what God did when he gave us the Sabbath. You need to understand because some of us haven’t learned it yet and we have people who’ve been around for a long time and they don’t know what it is to really enjoy the Sabbath like God wants us to enjoy it.

God says I want your undivided attention so since you’re meeting the king of the universe I want you prepared an hour before sundown. I want all your work done. House cleaning put aside. I want to meet with you. Everybody’s ready to welcome in the Sabbath. You’re there with your Bible and your worship book and the children are singing and everybody’s happy and your wife is looking good and the husband is alert.

The supporters of this view contend that both the Sabbath and Marriage were instituted by God and as such sex is definitely sacred, especially since God only sanctioned sex in the institution of marriage. They further argue that since Adam and Eve were married on the sixth day, God would not require them to wait a whole day before consummating their marriage. A whole book (the Song of Solomon) celebrates the sensuality of erotic love. He understands how it works and knows exactly what it’s good for. He tells us how to use it–and how not to.

Next stop – and the internet is filled with arguments against whether or not it is appropriate to have sex during Lent? However, there was a longer answer on whether a couple could have sex during days of fasting:

“”¦I think we often fail to focus on the one time it is permissible to mutually decide not to have sex:  When you have decided to devote yourself to prayer and fasting, for a time, you MAY decide, mutually, to also refrain from sex.  To deprive each other, again, mutually.  This doesn’t mean you can say to your spouse “well, I’m praying and fasting, so no sex”.

So, if you cannot unilaterally decide that you cannot deprive your spouse of sex, but you may unilaterally decide that you, yourself, are going to pray and fast, then by simple logic, it must be that a couple can pray and fast, and still have sex.  So, should Christians have sex while fasting?  It’s up to you, together.  No one gets veto rights.  You have to both agree to not have sex, or else it’s back to business as God intended: frequent and awesome.

But, I want to bring up another point:  I think there is a reason why this is the only acceptable time to decide, together, not to have sex.  I’ve done some fasting in the past.  I once did a 16-day water fast (nothing but water).  The most startling thing I noticed:  I had absolutely no sex drive half way through it.  Seriously, it was gone.  I was shocked.  I’ve never not had a strong sex drive, for as long as I could remember.  In fact, I wrote about it in this post.  I think Paul must have known about this.  Why else say that every other time that you deprive each other, you are leaving them open to temptation, but during prayer AND fasting, it’s okay?  From my perspective, it’s obvious: you’re not as tempted when fasting because your body goes into survival mode.  It’s not interested in sex, it’s more interested in surviving until the next day.”

So, in the end, I think you have to decide as a couple. If you are praying AND fasting, have the conversation about what to do with sex.

The article linked in the above excerpt is from Ministry Magazine and offers a lengthy, historical discussion on this topic:

The next stop was a Jewish perspective, sourced at Yahoo Forums:

There is no textual evidence to indicate that sex was forbidden on the Sabbath or the Day of Atonement. Rene Gehring argues that in the Hebrew Bible, sexual intercourse within marriage is not ritually defiling at all.

In Jewish law, sex is not considered shameful, sinful or obscene. Sex is not thought of as a necessary evil for the sole purpose of procreation. Although sexual desire comes from the yetzer ra (the evil impulse), it is no more evil than hunger or thirst, which also come from the yetzer ra. Like hunger, thirst or other basic instincts, sexual desire must be controlled and channeled, satisfied at the proper time, place and manner. But when sexual desire is satisfied between a husband and wife at the proper time, out of mutual love and desire, sex is a mitzvah.

Sex is permissible only within the context of a marriage. In Judaism, sex is not merely a way of experiencing physical pleasure. It is an act of immense significance, which requires commitment and responsibility. The requirement of marriage before sex ensures that sense of commitment and responsibility. Jewish law also forbids sexual contact short of intercourse outside of the context of marriage, recognizing that such contact will inevitably lead to intercourse. 

The primary purpose of sex is to reinforce the loving marital bond between husband and wife. The first and foremost purpose of marriage is companionship, and sexual relations play an important role. Procreation is also a reason for sex, but it is not the only reason. Sex between husband and wife is permitted (even recommended) at times when conception is impossible, such as when the woman is pregnant, after menopause, or when the woman is using a permissible form of contraception. 

Probably the most interesting answer came from Nigeria. I’ll include the question from a pastor’s wife (implied) and the answer that was given:

Dear Praise,
What is your take on a couple having sex before going to church. For instance, I discover my hubby doesn’t like having sex any time we have to go to church or the Saturday before Sunday because he feels it would reduce his anointing. I am not finding this funny at all and it is beginning to look as if I am sent to destroy his ministry by trying to have sex with him. Please what is your take on this matter sir?


Sesi A — Ghana


Dear Sesi,
Thanks for your question and the trust you have in us at TheCable to be able to do justice to this issue. I wouldn’t know the paradigm your man is operating with but I have met a number of people with the same beliefs. It is quite common among some religious leaders and it could have been part of the ministerial ethics that they were taught from the Bible school or it could have been borne out of personal revelation.


As a professional counsellor, there is no justification for a spouse’s inability to have sex with his wife except the two of them have come to an agreement to abstain for some time. I am not also sure I have read any passage of the Bible to back up his action.

Having said that, however, I would also want to believe he must have his reasons and since he is a minister as explained by you my humble suggestion is for you to allow him be. If he claims sex before ministration negatively affects his performance on the pulpit would you rather insist he engages in sex and performs poorly?


People are doing the best they can with what they know and until he catches a new revelation you may not be able to change the present one. I’d worry if you had said he starves you of sex but it is looking like the only time he is asking for space is before his spiritual exercise and I’d advice you let him be as long as he is willing to adequately service you after his ministration.


There are several religious taboos that people have and I have learnt to respect people’s choices and decisions because I am not in their shoes and couldn’t have known the motive and the revelation behind some of these decisions. I know pastors who never talk to anyone before they preach because they believe talking drains the anointing. So let’s learn to respect other people’s model of the world so that we can all experience peace. If you can discuss it once again with him to know if there are other reasons behind his abstinence from sex before preaching but should he insist it is a personal revelation I would advise you allow peace reign.
God bless and do let us know about your progress.

I tried to get a Catholic perspective and apparently the sex before going to church is a theme in some marriages.

Interestingly a recent survey conducted in the UK asked 2,000 adults when they were most likely to get busy. Their results, reported by the Daily Mail, suggest that the most popular time to get down and have sex is 9am on a Sunday morning, which gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘easy like Sunday morning’!

Concluding observations

The topic of sex on Sabbath is a deeply personal decision that should be prayerfully discussed between a husband and wife. But a general answer to this question would be, yes.  It is fine to have sex on the Lords Day (within Marriage). It only becomes sin if it is out of wedlock or before marriage. The very fact that God created humanity as “male and female” reveals that we are created as sexual beings. And God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” cannot be fulfilled without sex (Genesis 1:28). Sex is a God-given mandate, so there is no way that sex is a sin if done with one’s lifelong marriage partner of the opposite sex. The Song of Solomon follows a loving relationship between a husband and his wife through the betrothal period, wedding night, and beyond. The description of the husband and wife’s pleasure in chapter 4 is discreet yet unmistakable in its meaning. That description is followed in 5:3 with God’s approval: “Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love.”

Why marriage? Isn’t a really committed relationship close enough? Nope. According to the Bible, only the commitment a man and a woman make in the ceremony of marriage counts. Marriage is the only place to experience truly committed love, love that echoes our relationship with God.

That’s the ideal, the dream, as the Bible sees it: total nakedness, total unity, total love, total sexual satisfaction within marriage. Plenty of marital problems parade the pages of Scripture–God is no fool. But the ideal stands above the failures.

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Rape victims in UK must hand over phones to police or face cases being dropped under new bold forward thinking scheme

  • People are split on whether new guidance for crime victims will help or hinder prosecutions.
  • We think that this is a positive move which will help bring light to cases.
  • CPS Director of Public Prosecutions Max Hill says only ‘relevant’ material will go to court (Home Office/PA)
  • We think that this is a true statement unless Prosecutions come across something regrettable or questionable as the forms state even information of a separate criminal offence “may be retained and investigated.

Victims of rape and serious sexual assault could allow suspects to avoid charges if they refuse point blank to give police access to their mobile phone contents, two top officials have said.

Metropolitan police assistant commissioner Nick Ephgrave has admitted that the new national consent forms authorising detectives to search texts, images and call data are proving conversations around the UK as the difficulties of disclosure in the digital age risk pitting the pursuit of justice against preserving privacy.

In the lead-up to trials, police and prosecutors are required to hand over relevant material that can undermine the prosecution case or assist the defence.

The police are really saying, ‘if you don’t let us do this, the CPS won’t prosecute.’

Police and prosecutors have sought to reassure victims of crime that only material relevant to a potential prosecution will be harvested, but the forms state even information of a separate criminal offence “may be retained and investigated”.

Everyone needs to understand that if they get caught up in a crime, whether as witness or complainant, there may be information on their mobiles that is relevant.

When rape cases don’t make it to trial

The procedure came under sharp focus in 2017 after a string of defendants had charges of rape and serious sexual assault against them dropped when critical material emerged as they went on trial.

They included student Liam Allan who was accused of rape before his case was thrown out of court after it emerged a detective had not handed over text messages from the accuser’s phone.

Some 93,000 officers have undertaken training, while police hope artificial intelligence technology can help trawl through the massive amounts of data stored on phones and other devices.

The Centre for Women’s Justice (CWJ) said a legal challenge is expected from at least two individual women who have been told by police their cases are likely to collapse if they do not cooperate with requests for their personal data.

What is AI?
In computer science, artificial intelligence, sometimes called machine intelligence, is intelligence demonstrated by machines, in contrast to the natural intelligence displayed by humans and animals.

The failure of police and prosecutors to routinely disclose crucial evidence has caused ‘untold damage’, the Government admitted yesterday, suggesting artificial intelligence is now needed to comb social media of alleged victims. 

In a devastating review, the Attorney General Geoffrey Cox said a series of “system-wide” problems had led to innocent people “being pursued” wrongly through the courts.

The review was launched at a time of concern over collapsed cases, such as the prosecution of Liam Allan, who was charged with 12 counts of rape and sexual assault only for the case against him to be dropped.

While welcoming steps already being taken by police and the CPS to address the issues, Mr Cox called for a “zero tolerance” culture on disclosure failings.

Digital Divide: A Wake Up Call To Christian Leaders

In our era of instantly, constantly available “news,” how do we sift through the chaff and find the truth? How should we even think or feel about the relentless storm of bad news, questionable posts,conspiracy theories, and conflicting claims that swirls around us in this age of dis/mis/information?

Beyond the generational divide is the reality that the digital age allows information to leap over geographical and political boundaries

Nowadays, it’s common knowledge that whatever you post on the internet can be seen by anybody at anytime. But could you imagine providing evidence in a sexual assault case and then being charged for another crime because of information contained on your mobile phone? Well, thats exactly where this is heading. An indecent picture someone sent you on WhatApp perhaps, or maybe a movie that has not been obtained by legitimate purposes. Whatever the case maybe, its time to wake up.

We believe all of this comes down to is just simple common sense. Realizing that there are several sets of eyes on you at all times whenever you post online or on your phone should you become wrapped up in a court case for that matter is your best defense against posting or retaining something regrettable or questionable.




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My Anger and Need for Control Was Killing My Marriage (And My Faith)

My Anger and Need for Control Was Killing My Marriage (And My Faith)

Are you an angry person? If you exhibit any of the listed traits below, then it’s most possible that you are.

  • Not wanting to put up with (or wait for) something or someone
  • Often holding the belief that you are totally correct or morally superior
  • Irritable and Harsh in word and/or deed
  • Refuses to accept or even listen to the views of other

A Christian can be angry; but there is right anger and there is wrong anger. The Bible reminds us not to let our anger turn into sin. Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Actually, Ecclesiastes 7:9 tells us not to quickly get angry in the first place.

If you are easily angered, let the following Scriptures teach you how to overcome:

Exercise patience.

Ask God and let Him increase your capacity to accept and stand problems and suffering without becoming anxious or annoyed. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 exhorts us to be patient with all people.   2Timothy 2:24 further tells us that we ought to show patience even towards people who wrong us. Exercise patience as you trust God to work things out for you.

Nurture a tender heart.

Ephesians 4:32 tells us to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Tenderheartedness is having care and compassion for others. Extend mercy towards those who fail you. Forgive and give allowances. Allow them some time to make amends and restore whatever needs to be so.

Practice humility.

1 Corinthians 10:12 says that “So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” It is dangerous to be overly confident in the thought that you have arrived or that you are filled with wisdom and rightness. 1 Corinthians 8:2 says, “The one who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know.” We will keep making mistakes and it is in being lowly in mind that we make less mistakes in life. Understand though that having a lowly mind is different from having a low mind about yourself. Don’t think of yourself to be too small. That’s definitely wrong. But don’t think of yourself “more highly than you ought to think.  (Romans 12:3). Also understand that it is in being lowly in mind that we become more understanding towards those who make mistakes in life.

Delay your response.

James 1:19 advises us to be slow to speak and slow to anger. In delaying your response and reactions you prevent yourself from talking and reacting out of stress or an overflow of emotions. Yield your mind and heart over to God. Unload your hurts to Him and trust Him to sort things out for you. Don’ just take it upon yourself to make it right. Let God back you up. Moreover, let Him bring wisdom to you in the handling of unpleasant circumstances. Stand back. Be still. Let God minister to you and enlighten you. Then, with guidance from the Holy Spirit, begin to deal with the matter at hand.

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5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

Living in an over-sexualized culture, we hear messages about sex, wrong messages.   These messages become more a part of us than God’s truth because we hear them repetitively and churches are scared to address sexuality.

For too long, I believed the world’s message about sex.   That it’s a superficial, feel-good avenue to self-satisfaction.   Wrong, partly.   God did design sex to feel good!

But, there is more than that.   He designed it for profound spiritual, physical, and emotional connection.   It is just a shadow of things to come.

God’s design of sex is too amazing to keep silent about.

Here are five truths about God’s design of sex in marriage.

God designed sex to be bonding.

Not only spiritually bonding, but emotionally and physically.   When the two become one flesh, biochemicals are released in our bodies like oxytocin and dopamine.   Oxytocin, especially, is a bonding chemical.   When I embraced this truth and started engaging in the marriage bed more, the tone of our marriage completely changed.

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24 (NIV).

God designed sex for both husband and wife to experience pleasure.

It’s an equal opportunity activity.   Why else would there be a clitoris?   It’s only function is for pleasure.   The Song of Solomon is full of beautiful poetic language about the pleasures of physical love for both spouses.

If one spouse struggles with the ultimate moment, there are Christian resources available to help the couple understand how to achieve mutual enjoyment.

“The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved,” Song of Solomon 7:13 (NIV).

God designed sex so that we would know yearning.

Before you were married, you yearned for your fianc.   Not only did you crave your fiance’s touch, you craved his/her presence and knowing him/her better.  Even after years of marriage, it is good to remember this yearning.  It mirrors how God desires us to yearn for him.   I believe this is one reason he frequently uses the marriage as a symbol of his relationship with us throughout the Bible.

“Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?” James 4:5 (NIV).

God designed the marriage bed to be a place to show the fruit of the Spirit.

Peace, patience, love, joy, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control are the foundation of all Christian life, especially the marriage bed.   All conflict surrounding the marriage bed can be managed through employing these key traits.

My own marriage endured a long season of mismatched sex drives.   It was through these qualities and some wise communication tools that we overcame our conflict.

God designed sex as a powerful mystery.

Biblical stories of sex often confused me when I was young.   There was some nasty stuff in the old testament, the rape of Dinah, Lot and his daughters, the men of Gibeah  clammering for the male visitor, Leviticus 20.   And yet, there is the beautiful Song of Solomon.   The New Testament seemed to prefer celibacy, to be honest.   As a teenager, I couldn’t understand why I liked thinking about sex if it was disgraceful and violent.

But, as an adult, I realized the stories were teaching me that sexual intimacy is powerful and mysterious.   It’s OK not to have it all figured out, as long as you respect the power it holds to do good when it is aligned with God’s perfect design.

“For my thoughts  are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the  Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways  and my thoughts than your thoughts,” Isaiah 55:8-9.

Final Thoughts

Don’t let the world’s message of cheap sex destroy the meaningful sex in your marriage.   Sex may only be a small portion of the whole of your marriage.   However, sex matters.   It especially matters if one spouse is more interested than the other.   When we ignore its power and importance in marriage, the relationship suffers.

Now, granted chronic health issues can affect sexual function and that’s a more complicated story.

 

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What Should Be Different about a Christian Marriage?

What should be different about a Christian marriage?

You get a lot of advice before you get married.

“Never go to bed angry.”

“Keep dating.”

“Make your partner your first priority.”

“Don’t walk out during an argument.”

“It’s all about communication.”

So why on earth do so many marriages fail?

Reasons Why Couples Break Up

Marriage has gotten quite a bad reputation over the years. The butt of a seemingly infinite number of jokes, matrimony is a source of endless social commentary, gender politics, and governmental debate.  

According to recent University of Maryland divorce research, you’ve got about a 50/50 chance of growing old with your spouse. If the statistic did not shock you, the reasons many couples decide to separate will not either.

 “The relationship was built more on lust than a true partnership.”

“I wasn’t present.”

“We were together 15 years, I was unhappy for 11 of them.”

“We were co-parents, not lovers.”

“We didn’t choose to work on the marriage, day in and day out.”

“It was like we were on opposite teams.”

“Married too fast”

“Bedroom boredom”

I was a full-time manager in the marriage.  

“There was no respect.”

“There was no real intimacy.”

Many people mistakenly believe that most marriages end almost exclusively because of infidelity, however, while this certainly is a major factor, the decision to terminate a marriage is much more complicated.

“Conventional wisdom tells us that those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.”

A marriage is a lot like buying a new car. Driving it out of the showroom is bliss. As you cruise off you can hardly believe your luck. Everything feels,  sounds, smells and looks perfect. You coast through many months—sometimes even years— of happy driving before the car needs an MOT or service. But like a car, when a relationship eventually breaks down, it’s flabbergasting; you’re left stuck on the side of the road trying to figure out what on earth went wrong and realise that no car or relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Christ-centred Marriage

“Our culture still shapes our thinking and conduct regarding marriage to an incredible degree.”

It’s easy to think that only “other people” get divorced. That your own marriage is somehow immune to heartache, infidelity and fights over who gets the house, car and dog. After all, how many of us would walk down the aisle if we knew for sure that our relationships would end up in divorce court.

Viewing Marriage Realistically

Christian or not, marriage is difficult for any couple to sustain over a lifetime. Life’s trials—the pressure of making a living, of parenting, of resisting temptations to unfaithfulness or selfishness.  But Christian marriage offers hope.  

“We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession.”

Christians marriages should be shaped by the cross of Christ, the Word of God, and the Spirit of God.

“Above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins’ ” (1 Peter 4:8).

“Her husband ”¦ praises her” (Proverbs 31:28).

“She who is married cares ”¦ how she may please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:34).

“Be kindly affectionate to one another ”¦ in honor giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10).

“Pray for one another” (James 5:16).

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

Successful marriages don’t just happen; they must be developed.

Serving Our Spouse

Another key component in a Christian marriage is selflessness, as described in Philippians 2:3-4. The principle of humility outlined in these verses is crucial to a strong Christian marriage. If happiness is our primary goal, we’ll get a divorce as soon as happiness seems to wane.  With greater awareness of the principle of thought, many marriages can be saved and even strengthened.

Becoming “one” is about more than sex. It requires a level of vulnerability that opens the door for deep hurt. Both husband and wife must consider their partner’s needs before their own, which requires a selflessness that is only possible by the power of the Holy Spirit who indwells them.

“Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.”

“Encourage rather than criticize.”

“Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.”

“Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.”

It is a partnership of love, made richer and deeper through sex.  Continue—or revive—your courtship into your married life.

Marriage isn’t always easy and the sad reality is that not all “I dos” end with a happily ever after. However, the primary difference between a Christian marriage and a non-Christian marriage should be that Christ is the centre of the marriage. With a Christ-centered relationship, an other-centered attitude and an unwavering commitment to making it work, your marriage can flourish — just as God designed.

Which of these reasons is most true in your marriage? Please share with me below.

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Marriage 2.0: Software Review

A newly married man wrote this to a computer *Data Analyst*

Dear Data Analyst

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from *Girlfriend 7.0* to *Wife 1.0* following acceptance of the oath from the KJV Bible Instruction Manual and found that the new *Wife 1.0* program began unexpected Child Processing? *Wife 1.0* has also taken up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn’t explicitly mentioned in the _KJV instruction manual?

In addition *Wife 1.0* installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialisation at the start of each day and then it constantly monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as *”Boys’ Night out 2.5″* and *”Golf 5.3″* no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected.

Attempting to operate selected *”Soccer 6.3″* always fails and *”Church 5.1″* and *”Shopping 7.1″* runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep *Wife 1.0* in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.
.
I am thinking of going back to *”Girlfriend 7.0″*, but the uninstall button doesn’t work on this program and after reading the instruction guide seems to be prohibited by KJV Manual 9.0. Can you please help?

The Systems Analyst replied:

*Dear Customer,*

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the *Wife 1.0 program and a lack of understanding of the KJV Bible Instruction Manual*.

Many customers upgrade from _Girlfriend 7.0_ to _Wife 1.0_ after acceptance of the oath from the KJV Bible Instruction Manual thinking that _Wife 1.0_ is merely a *UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.* This is not the case!

Actually, *Wife 1.0* is an _OPERATING SYSTEM_ designed by its *Creator* to run everything on your current platform. You must therefore review the KJV Bible Instruction Manual for daily guidance.

You will not be able to purge *Wife 1.0* and still convert back to _Girlfriend 7.0_, as *Wife 1.0* was not designed to do this and it is impossible to _uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed. The KJV Bible Instruction Manual only permits one installation. There maybe one or two exceptions to this rule, but you do not meet the criteria.

Some people have tried to install _Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0_ but have ended up with even more problems. *_(See Manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors’ Fees/)._* Plus the instruction manual clearly states whoever uninstalls Wife 1.0_ , except for sexual immorality, and installs another, commits adultery.”

Having *Wife 1.0* installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and learn to deal with the situation as best as you can. You will find that the more closely you adhere to the insttruction manual and operate in accordance with the authors example the better your experience will be.

When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the………
*C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE AND PRAY.EXE* Program and avoid attempting to use the _*Esc-Key_ for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run *C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME AND PRAY.EXE* a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Although *Wife 1.0,* demands respect, love, and attention,*Wife 1.0,* can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of *Wife 1.0,* , consider buying additional Software such as *”FAMILY PRAYER TIME 1.0, Flowers 2.0″* and *”Chocolates 5.0″*,*”Attention 6.0″* and *”HUGS\ KISSES 7.0″* or *”TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING and SHARE HOUSEHOLD DUTIES 10.0″* or *”even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1″* _(if Child processing has already started)._

*DO NOT* under any circumstances install *”Secretary 2.1″* _(Short Skirt Version)_ or *”One Nightstand 3.2″*, as this is not a supported Application for *Wife 1.0* and the system will almost certainly *CRASH*. In addition this could disqualify you from upgrading to, HEAVEN .11.0.

PS’ When my relationship crashed, I took a hard look at the conventional wisdom. Then did a reboot and emerged with a partnership that was built to last.

*BEST WISHES!*

Yours,”
Systems Analyst.

*#To all husbands/ future husbands*

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After 21 Years of Marriage, My Wife Wanted Me to Take Another Woman out to Dinner

Wife Asked Hubby to Go on a Date With Another Woman, It Changed His Life Forever

While we all know it’s important to spend time with the ones we love, how often do we go out of our way to make the effort to see them?  This story is heartwarming and tragic in equal measure, but will definitely have you thinking about the quality time you spend with the people closest to you.

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.  She said I Love You but I know this other woman loves you too and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to take out was my MOTHER who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.  ‘What’s wrong, are you well,’ she asked?  My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.  ‘I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,’  I responded. ‘Just the two of us.’  She thought about it for a moment, and then said,  I would like that very much.’

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.  When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she too seemed to be nervous about our date.
She waited in the door with her shawl on.  She had set her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last Wedding Anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s.  ‘I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,’ she said, as she got into the car.  ‘They can’t wait to hear about our date night’.

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.  My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large Print; half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting
there staring at me.  A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

‘It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were young,’  She said.

‘Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favour,’  I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extra-ordinary, but catching up on recent events of each others life.  We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later,  She said, ‘I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.’
I agreed.

‘How was your Dinner Date?’ asked my wife when I got home.  ‘Very Nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,’ I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack.  It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have time to do anything for her.  Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said:

‘I paid this bill in advance.  I wasn’t sure that I could be there;  But nevertheless, I paid for two plates one for you and the other for your wife.
You will never know what that night meant to me.  I Love You, My Son.’

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: ‘I LOVE YOU!’ and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than parents, your family and friends.

Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till ‘some other time.’

Pass this story on  to a child, adult, parent,  friend  you care for.

So beautiful! I had tears in my eyes after reading this guest post!  I believe in God, family, truth between people, the power of love.  When we think of our family, our spouse, parents, or children, let us see them as a gift from God.

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Poem: The Unravelling of a Christian Marriage

Marry the wrong person, everyday is Martyrs Day.
Marry a lazy person, everyday is Labour Day.
Marry a rich person everyday is New Year’s Day.
Marry an immature person, everyday would seem like Children’s Day.
Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool’s Day.
And if you don’t get married, everyday is Independence Day!

Marriage is the only school where you get a certificate before you start.
It’s also a school where you will never graduate.
It’s a school without a break or a free period.
It’s a school where no one is allowed to drop out.
It’s a school you will have to attend everyday of your life.
It’s a school where there is no sick leave or holidays.
It’s a school founded by God on the foundation of love.
The walls are made out of trust.
The door made out of acceptance.
The windows made out of understanding
The furniture made out of blessings
The roof made out of faith.

Be reminded that God is the only Principal and you are a student,
Even in times of storms, don’t be unwise and run outside.
Keep in mind that, this school is the safest place to be.
Never go to sleep before completing your assignments for the day.
Never forget  to communicate with your classmate and with the Principal.
If you find out something about your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate.
Remember your classmate is also just a student, not a graduate.
God is not finished with him/her yet.
So take it as a challenge and work on it together.
Do not forget to study the Holy Book (the main textbook of this school).
Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way.

Sometimes you will feel like not attending classes, yet you have to.
When tempted to quit find courage and continue.
Some tests and exams may be tough but remember,
the Principal knows how much you can bear and yet it’s a school better than any other.

It’s one of the best schools on earth;
joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.

Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.
After all the years of theorising about it, now you have a chance to practice it.

To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.
Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse.

Whether you’re married, engaged, or still single, we hope that you have found wisdom and encouragement in this poem about marriage.  

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European Court of Human Rights: Same-sex ‘marriage’ is not a human right

European Court of Human Rights: Same-sex ‘marriage’ is not a human right

STRASBOURG, France, June 29, 2016 (Godinterest) Unanimously, the World Court of Human Rights has established, verbatim, that “there is no right to homosexual marriage”, making it clear that homosexual partnerships do not, in fact, equal marriages between a man and a woman.  

The 47 judges of the 47 countries of the Council of Europe, which are members of the full Court of Strasbourg (the world’s most important human rights court), issued a statement of great relevance that has been surprisingly silenced by information progressivism and its area of influence.

In fact, unanimously, the 47 judges approved the ruling that “there is no right to homosexual marriage” as announced June 9 in the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg, France, and closed out a discussion dating to 2004.

The court’s decision was in response to an unlawful same-sex “wedding” conducted June 5, 2004, by Noël Mamère, mayor of the French city Bègles and a member of the Green Party and  based on a myriad of philosophical and anthropological considerations based on natural order, common sense, scientific reports and, of course, positive law. Within the letter, in particular, the judgment was based on Article 12 of the European Convention on Human Rights.

Mamère had advocated same-sex “marriage” since 2002 and chose to approve the 2004 “wedding” despite 4,000 letters sent to him. “I take the risk, I accept to be a provocateur,” Mamère said. The “marriage” was canceled shortly after and the mayor was suspended from office for one month.

This month, 12 years after the incident, the European Court has put an end to the matter with a ruling that is  equivalent to the articles of human rights treaties, as in the case of 17 of the Pact of San Jos and the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights. In this historic but not disclosed, Resolution, the Court decided that the concept of family not only contemplates “the traditional concept of marriage, that is, the union of a man and a woman”, but also that they should not be imposed on governments to “obligation to open marriage to persons of the same sex”.

As for the principle of non-discrimination, the Court also added that there is no discrimination, since “States are free to reserve marriage only to heterosexual couples.”

The decision of the European Court for Human Rights should bring to a halt pressure exerted by the ILGA and similar groups, especially in Eastern European countries, who fight for legislation that recognizes the uniqueness of a marriage between one man and one woman.

 

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