My Anger and Need for Control Was Killing My Marriage (And My Faith)

My Anger and Need for Control Was Killing My Marriage (And My Faith)
My Anger and Need for Control Was Killing My Marriage (And My Faith)

Are you an angry person? If you exhibit any of the listed traits below, then it’s most possible that you are.

  • Not wanting to put up with (or wait for) something or someone
  • Often holding the belief that you are totally correct or morally superior
  • Irritable and Harsh in word and/or deed
  • Refuses to accept or even listen to the views of other

A Christian can be angry; but there is right anger and there is wrong anger. The Bible reminds us not to let our anger turn into sin. Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Actually, Ecclesiastes 7:9 tells us not to quickly get angry in the first place.

If you are easily angered, let the following Scriptures teach you how to overcome:

Exercise patience.

Ask God and let Him increase your capacity to accept and stand problems and suffering without becoming anxious or annoyed. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 exhorts us to be patient with all people.   2Timothy 2:24 further tells us that we ought to show patience even towards people who wrong us. Exercise patience as you trust God to work things out for you.

Nurture a tender heart.

Ephesians 4:32 tells us to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Tenderheartedness is having and compassion for others. Extend mercy towards those who fail you. Forgive and give allowances. Allow them some time to make amends and restore whatever needs to be so.

Practice humility.

1 Corinthians 10:12 says that “So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” It is dangerous to be overly confident in the thought that you have arrived or that you are filled with wisdom and rightness. 1 Corinthians 8:2 says, “The one who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know.” We will keep making mistakes and it is in being lowly in mind that we make less mistakes in life. Understand though that having a lowly mind is different from having a low mind about yourself. Don’t think of yourself to be too small. That’s definitely wrong. But don’t think of yourself “more highly than you ought to think.  (Romans 12:3). Also understand that it is in being lowly in mind that we become more understanding towards those who make mistakes in life.

Delay your response.

James 1:19 advises us to be slow to speak and slow to anger. In delaying your response and reactions you prevent yourself from talking and reacting out of stress or an overflow of emotions. Yield your mind and heart over to God. Unload your hurts to Him and trust Him to sort things out for you. Don’ just take it upon yourself to make it right. Let God back you up. Moreover, let Him bring wisdom to you in the handling of unpleasant circumstances. Stand back. Be still. Let God minister to you and enlighten you. Then, with guidance from the Holy Spirit, begin to deal with the matter at hand.


What do you think?

628 Points

Written by Ana Menez

I serve with a training & equipping organization. I am also a freelance writer and I take great interest in writing and sharing growth resources. Reading is one of my great loves. I love it for all its fresh insights and points of view that help as I consider issues relevant to my faith life.


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  1. I’m impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you,
    you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something which too few people are speaking intelligently about.
    I’m very happy I found this in my hunt for something regarding this.

  2. 16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

    17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
    If you do not know Who God who created you and you listen to men you will be deceived. Man has already deceived you once, I know this to be true. Man was created to protect the Woman the help meet of the Lord who teaches her children morality. Ask yourself if man has ever deceived you in the church or out and the answer is going to be Yes. You our the tree of life because you witness the birth of Christ in your Womb. Turn your eyes to the Garden of God. Men are the warriors and the Woman are the Temple of God. Men destroy you God will destroy you the Temple the help meet.


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