Has there ever been a time in your life, when it comes to your studies, that you continued to fail? Never got past the halfway mark to qualify. Missed out on crucial points to get you to the next stage. The feeling of failure and realizing that you just ain’t that good at academia. Often basing our worth on what we feel we should be achieving because of our comparisons to our peers, friends, and associates.
I remember being told at one point in my life, that because I did not go to University and did not obtain a proper Degree, that I was less than another person. I was being compared to somebody else and it felt awful. I was being told indirectly that I had no value and there was nothing I could do about it, quite frankly. Feeling like a nobody, I went through life, trying to achieve success and always giving up halfway and allowing their voice in my head, to keep repeating the negatives into my life.
‘ What your doing is not as important as what I am doing’ ‘ You don’t even have a degree ‘.
I gradually worked out understood why it was happening… I noticed when I doubted myself when attempting to do something. I felt that same feeling of worthlessness when I was struggling to learn a new thing. When it came to studies, I shied away from booking the courses that interested me, because I thought I would fail, yet again.
However, when I became a believer, a major breakthrough happened in my life, something that completely turned my life around, in terms of what I thought about myself. God not only revealed to me what I was gifted at. He brought me back to a time in my life as visions, when I would see myself writing, from as young as 13yrs.
Of course! My first thought was, I write because I enjoy it, I did not see it as something special. Though God had a different idea, he revealed he was going to use me with my writing to encourage others, to give them hope. Scripture tells us God does not call the ‘ Qualified ‘ he calls those who are not and for the first time I felt like a somebody and not a nobody, who had not achieved much. When indeed I had been given a gift that I did not have to study for, bust my guts over revision timetables for. No sleepless nights and early morning rises.
When God spoke to Moses through the burning bush, Moses was living a life of obscurity at that time.. He knew Moses had a heart for people and had credible standing at one point in his life and so God decided to use. Moses of course lamented.
‘ I am a nobody God ‘ …’ I am not qualified God’
But God was using Moses for his credibility, not Moses’s. God was using him as an example to those, who did not believe what God could do.