God works in mysterious ways sometimes! He will use who or what He deems crucial in order for us to learn a specific lesson. I know I sure did learn a very important lesson, two years ago, when I was at my lowest. At that time, the chronic pain I was suffering from was making me unable to walk very far and I had to start using a cane for most of my walking around. I was very depressed and I was having a hard time staying positive. I was praying, studying the Bible but my heart, felt heavy and I was discouraged.
I was in a place of doubts, more regarding my capabilities, not God’s of course! I was wondering if I was doing enough and I let those doubts control my thoughts which did not help at all to keep me hopeful. I felt very lonely since my dear husband was working but also trying is best to spend as much time as possible with me, I still found myself alone pretty often and it was making me crazy.
One day, I had the great idea of getting a dog! Did I know anything about having a dog? No. But I thought for sure, this would solve my problems and my husband being so comprehensive, agreed.
The next week, I go get this cute little puppy that I named Chloe! That poodle would eventually rock my world! You see, I’m an only child and I never was able to have children, so right then and there it should give you a clue of how much maternal instincts I had! After one week, I was ready to bring her back. After 1 month, I was lacking sleep to a degree that made me wish I could have enough strength to get to the nearest bridge and jump off of it!
After one year, even after watching countless hours of training videos, of having the best food for her, reading the best books, going to a trainer and being available to her 24/7, I could no longer deal with that stress. I was already at my wits’ end with the chronic pain being unbearable, the sleepless nights, and the anxiety was at its worst. I did what I thought was right and put her for adoption. Yes, I know how you feel…I hated myself too at that point!
I’m pretty certain it’s exactly at that moment that God intervened. Well, He must have been there for a long time, I just didn’t realize it, I was too busy being stressed out!
Our dear God, whom I love so much, had a plan. He was going to teach me a very profound lesson on perseverance, love, and courage! And so He did.
After receiving that call from that lady who was going to adopt Chloe, I spend the last 2 days crying like a baby, thinking I was the meanest woman on this planet! Who could be this cold as too get rid of a small dog, that I had wanted all along, so what was wrong with me? Chloe knew something was wrong because, for the first time in one year, she became very still, calm, and could not stop looking at me, more “staring” at me and wanted to always be very close to me. A lot of staring was done on her part. I could not get why she suddenly changed so fast and so much. So, I cried even more, thinking this lady was now coming in a few hours. I started praying so hard, asking God to guide me, to help me make the right decision. I was so convinced that I was not the mother Chloe needed. I thought for sure, that’s why I couldn’t have any children: I would’ve been a miserable mommy! Oh, I was going downhill and fast!
The time came and went, without any signs of the lady. I called her twice, messaged her twice and we stood by the door waiting for hours, thinking she would eventually arrive. She never did.
That night, Chloe and I became best friends. I totally opened my heart to her and I think she did the same. I’m telling you, I could feel God’ presence with us, and I understood what He wanted for me and why He decided to send me Chloe. I now had to take courage and keep the faith we would become a great team. It was a question of faith: In God, in Chloe and in me!
You see, I was so busy convincing myself, I could certainly not be a good “mother” to this dog, since my mom was in no way a good role model, that I was preventing God to use Chloe to fill something in my life and more so, to enable me to play a role I had never played before. This role I would have to play it with confidence, love, and perseverance. This would in the long run, show me, I could care for someone properly and that I would’ve been a good mother! I needed to get in touch with that part of me that had not been activated. Yes, it’s just a dog! For a lot of people, animals are “just” animals and they don’t really care for them but for me, Chloe has become my daughter, my hope in a better me. I was able to take courage and start taking care of her with less anxiety and with more calmness. She was, of course, feeling all my stress, and I was surely stressing her out! But, God filled me with something I did not know I could have and I have been enjoying it for the last year.
Now, my dog and I, have a great relationship. She loves me so much, it’s unbelievable. She understands me very quickly and when my health is not at its best, she never leaves my side. She cuddles and stays with me for hours without asking anything in return except a few hugs and kisses which I gladly give her.
I did not understand how God sometimes works. He does what He has to do, so we can learn our lesson and become closer to Him in the long run. If it takes a dog to do it; He will get a dog and the next thing you know, you are buying dog’s clothes which you specifically said you would never buy. You find yourself staring at those beautiful brown eyes and you get happy just seeing that little dog running around without a care in the world.
The day God brought me to Chloe, I embarked on a very hard journey. But that journey permitted me to discover myself and also to transform my attitude. To start thinking that “I could” instead of thinking that “I couldn’t”!
So, next time, God brings in your life, something or someone, you did not expect, don’t be surprised if your life gets thrown upside down for a while. It’s part of His plan anyway. We often need to be shaken up a bit, to finally be able to properly understand the lesson.
A little “shaken up” does a body good sometimes! Even more so, if our Believed Father, is doing the shaking!