25 Extremely Funny Christian Thoughts To Celebrate Every Day

Christianity is a serious business but everything has its funny side. After all, laughter is the best medicine – which is why we practice it religiously here at Godinterest, especially when it comes to funny quotes.

1. Some things have to be believed to be seen. ~ Ralph Hodgson
2. No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says. He is always convinced that it says what he means. ~ George Bernard Shaw
3. I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. ~ Ronald Reagan
4. When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe? ~ Quentin Crisp
5. Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. ~ Fred Allen
6. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. ~ Billy Sunday
7. A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. ~ Billy Graham
8. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. ~ Mark Twain
9. The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. ~ Dante Rossetti
10. On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. ~ Curtis McDougall
11. A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday. ~ Thomas Ybarra
12. Maybe this world is another planet’s hell. ~ Aldous Huxley
13. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. ~ Napoleon
14. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam. ~ George Carlin
15. If there were no God, there would be no atheists. ~ G. K. Chesterton
16. The church is prayer-conditioned. ~ Anonymous
17. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. ~ G. K. Chesterton
18. If you use the church’s WiFi, are you receiving God’s signal? ~ Anonymous
19. Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. ~ Mark Twain
20. Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. ~ Robert Orben
21. I’d rather live my whole life assuming there is a God, only to find out that there isn’t, than to live my whole life assuming there isn’t a God, only to find out there is. ~ Peter Barry
22. You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic. ~ Doris Egan
23. I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. ~ Mahatma Ghandi
24. The number of followers you have doesn’t make you better than anyone else.  Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12. ~ Anonymous
25. Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.  ~ Anonymous

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