Are You an Oddball in Loneliness?
Beware of isolation; beware of the idea that you have to develop a holy life alone. It is impossible to develop a holy life alone; you will develop into an oddity and a peculiarism, into something utterly unlike what God wants you to be. The only way to develop spiritually is to go into the society of God’s own children, and you will soon find how God alters your set. God does not contradict our social instincts; He alters them.(from Biblical Psychology, 189 L Oswald Chambers)
I had to admit to myself that this had become a bit too true of me. I, in my desire to protect myself from hurt, had become accustomed to isolation, and surely had become a bit of an oddity, and a peculiarism. God’s word is very clear on how holiness is developed. Oswald Chambers is being completely Biblical here. It is impossible to develop holiness alone. God speaks of it in 1 John 4:
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.
If we love one another,
- God abides in us,
- His love is perfected in us.
- By this, we know that we abide in Him and He in us because He has given us of His Spirit.
I need you, dear Sister or brother in Christ, in order to grow in love. You need me, too. God’s love is perfected in us as we learn to love each other despite failings, faults, and screw-ups. Forgiveness should be a well-traveled road as a Believer in Jesus. It is the only road to Calvary we will ever take. Jesus calls us to the Garden of Gethsemane, as we learn to die to ourselves, but the Road to Calvary was His alone; and having walked it, He calls us to a new commandment: Love one another. As God abides in us, His love is perfected in us, we have the assurance that we are His and we sense the power and presence of His Spirit, all through loving one another. O, the powerful ways of God, so transforming, so freeing, so right.
Why the Resurrection of Jesus Matters in the 21st Century
On Easter morning, thousands of people put on their nicest dresses, ties, and hairstyles and went to a Church gathering. Many had big meals with family, and continue to celebrate all day long. As you go to these celebrations and church services, you may be asking, why does Easter really matter? Why does the Church celebrate something that happened 2000 years ago? Does it still matter today, in the 21st century? And if so, what does it have to do with me?
If you are asking these questions, I’m so glad you’re here. Let me tell you, if you believe the message of Easter, which is the resurrection of Jesus Christ, your life will be completely altered forever. So with that, let’s look at why Easter is important.
The entire Bible tells one big, continuous story that points to Jesus. In Genesis, we read about God creating everything; the earth, space, oceans, land, plants, and animals, night and day”¦and the peak of His creation, man and woman. God created us in His image, and He created us to live in relationship with Him.
However, we decided to rebel against God. This tore us from being in a perfect relationship with Him and set us up for a life of pain and death.
Despite our rebellion, God had a plan to restore a relationship with us and to make everything right again. In Genesis 3, God promises to one day send Someone to defeat sin and death, and save His people. In Genesis 3:15, God said to the devil, “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”
This foreshadowing of Jesus’ coming continues throughout the Old Testament. God makes a promise to a man named Abraham, that He will make a great nation of his family, and one day, this promised savior would come from his family line. This family became the nation of Israel.
The rest of the Old Testament shows how God pursues Israel, despite their constant rebellion against Him. Then, we come to the book of Matthew. A virgin became pregnant and named the baby Jesus. This baby was fully God and fully man. He lived a sinless life and modeled what true life looks like. He spent the majority of his first 30 years of life as a carpenter. He then became a Jewish rabbi and began to disciple 12 apprentices. He spent the next three years of his life preaching, teaching, performing miracles, and healing people.
Jesus’ message was scandalous. The religious leaders and government officials were threatened by Him. They devised a plan to have Him killed. He was stripped, beaten, and then hung on a cross to die. He was put in a tomb, and His followers mourned. Was He not who He said He was? Was He not the One promised in Genesis that would save us?
Three days passed, and all hope seemed lost. A few of the women who followed Jesus went to the tomb where His body lay, but they were shocked to find the stone rolled away, and an empty tomb. Instead, there were two angels there to greet them. The women fell to the floor, terrified and confused.
Luke 24:5-8 says, “And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, ‘Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was till in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise.’”
Jesus paid the price for our sin, conquered sin and death, and now reigns victoriously! He promised that He would one day come back to Earth, to ultimately restore all things. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right-hand of the Father, where He will be until He returns to Earth again.
That is what we celebrate on Easter. If you trust in Jesus and follow Him, you will have eternal life in Jesus. He invites you into His Kingdom, and that life starts as soon as you turn to Him. When you enter the Kingdom of God, His Spirit comes inside you and helps you to walk in intimacy with Him, and newness of life. Romans 8:11 says, “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.”
This life that Jesus offers isn’t easy. It’s messy, scandalous, and different than anything the world has to offer. It is the only way to a life that offers true life, satisfaction, and joy.
In John 16:33, Jesus said, “I have said these things to you, that you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
I don’t know what you’re facing today, but Jesus promised we would face tribulation in this world. It could be a lost job, a scary diagnosis, family strife, an unplanned pregnancy, fill-in-the-blank”¦No matter what you’re going through, cling to Jesus as your hope! He has overcome the world and is bigger than anything you can face in this life!
So as your Easter festivities wind down and you go back to your daily life, I challenge you to look to Jesus. If you have not yet turned to Him and begun walking in the life He offers, would you consider it? He is so much better than anything this world can give you. He loves you and is eagerly waiting for you to call out to Him.
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20
Where Have All the Fathers Gone?
As soon as Rhys heard the front door open, he jumped up and began shouting for joy, “Mom Daddy’s home, Daddy’s home!”. His heartbeat racing and his brown eyes shining excitedly, anticipating playtime with Daddy. A wide grin spread across Rhys’s face as Daddy acted like a big bear. Daddy quickly dropping down onto one knee so that he’d be at his son’s height to horse around the living room. Sadly this scene is becoming a rear sight to see.
Today let’s talk about the invisible dads, the ones who don’t marry Mummy, don’t support their kids and don’t hang around for the hugs, kisses and nappy changes. There are millions of them around the world, and their numbers are growing.
“Today, more than one in four births is to an unmarried mother, and more than one in 10 births is to a teenager. These numbers portend a future of fragile families. Once considered primarily a racial problem, fatherless homes have increased across a wide range of demographics over the last ten years.”
How have we come to the point where a child with two parents is the exception rather than the norm? It is time that we put the issue of fatherless families front and center on our national agenda.
So who’s the real problem here? And why should we care?
It is time to shift our attention to the issue of male responsibility, and to the indispensable role that fathers play in our society.
Firstly, it would be an oversimplification to assume that two parents are always better than one as there are many courageous and loving single moms and daddy’s who are able to balance the competing demands on their time and attention, to care and provide for their children alone.
However, contrary to the sentiments of our culture and though our society is only beginning to recognize it, the presence of fathers within the home is vital to the moral integrity of a society. The short-term effects are already far too evident as statistics reveal that the loss of fathers is reverberating throughout the world in the form of social pathologies ranging from teen pregnancy to drug abuse.
Fatherless children are five times more likely to be poor and twice as likely to drop out of school as children who live with both parents.
Boys, without proper male role models, look to other sources for the male bonding they need. In the inner cities that often entails gangs while in the suburbs it tends to be online.
“According to the latest statistics, the increase in the proportion of single-parent families accounted for about half of the overall increase in child poverty from 1979 through to 1987.”
The Scriptures warn us about the power of fatherhood, as well as the long-lasting impact that fatherhood has on us all. Exodus 20:4-6.” Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” could be both about habits/behavior and also looks. Have you ever thought about that? Do you often find yourself reacting to a situation the way your father did? or scarier yet…do you ever see your mannerisms in your son? The footprint of a father leaves a permanent mark on the soul of a child.
Fatherhood is under assault
We hear a lot about the war on women…but it is the war on Dads that is causing the greatest damage in the world today. It’s not hard to find. If you watch any popular sitcom on television today, you’ll likely notice that fathers are typically portrayed as childish, irresponsible, lazy, incompetent and stupid.
The doofus dad stereotype isn’t new. There’s Fred Flinstone, and even Charlie Brown’s monotone parents. But according to Tierny, the consistency of these new portrayals has slowly created a new norm opposed to what being a father used to mean.
Dads make a difference. Dads can be heroes – if only we give them the chance. We remain optimistic that family still has more influence than media.
We all need another hero
Fathers are representatives of God on earth; as our heavenly father is the giver of life so also are the earthly father’s givers of life. Malachi 4:6 says “And he will turn, the hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”
God understands the importance of a father’s love and cares towards their children and He has set the standard by being the first example of a loving father.
“The SARRI report quotes research which found that “the presence of a father can contribute to cognitive development, intellectual functioning, and school achievement. Children growing up without fathers are more likely to experience emotional disturbances and depression.”
“Girls who grow up with their fathers are more likely to have higher self-esteem, lower levels of risky sexual behaviour, and fewer difficulties in forming and maintaining romantic relationships later in life. They have less likelihood of having an early pregnancy, bearing children outside marriage, marrying early, or getting divorced.”
A father’s touch
The first thing, therefore, that a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Another part of a father’s task is that of a protector for his family. But, Daddy also has another task in the home, which is to combine tenderness with strength, and to model the combination so consistently that the children regard the combination as natural.
Our kids must come to know naturally both that dad’s standards protect them, and that his love makes them strong.
Where have all the fathers gone?
Our courts do not value fatherhood as much as motherhood. In 2015 it is still the case that mothers and fathers do not have equal rights
And herein lies the problem. Our expectation of the role a separated father should play in his children’s lives is so low, that when half of dads who win “access” to their kids can’t even sleep under the same roof as their offspring, academics declare this to be an overwhelming success. One of the fruits of the feminist movement many claim is the idea that a woman is more responsible as a parent than the father is.
“He is not my Dad…he is just someone you sleep with!” How many mothers have felt the sting of those words? That is why God hates divorce. We should too.
Our culture has put asunder things which God has joined together—things such as tenderness and strength. It is the job of the father to put them back together again.
Fatherhood, like Motherhood has is its own rewards – as most dads have found. Sadly, for the others, the invisible ones, it is a gift foolishly squandered.
So You Think You’ve Married the Wrong Person?
When I saw Roger’s Facebook profile photo, my first reaction, if I’m honest, was that he wasn’t good-looking enough for me. Yet when he sent a message saying I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, I gave into his invitation for dinner, she says in regret.
“According to a new survey of more than 1,600 divorcees, 49 percent admitted they were worried on their wedding day their relationship would break down, and two-thirds considered leaving their spouse-to-be at the altar.”
“A sixth said they hoped their partner would change after the wedding, while others said they got married in the hope that it would “all work out” in the end.”
Lord, I’m sorry! I married the wrong man. Please forgive me, she cries out in agonizing prayer.
No couple should expect bliss every day and most couples know that perfection is not on the cards. Nevertheless, there are couples who display such deep-seated incompatibility, such heightened rage and disappointment, that most people will conclude that something else is at play beyond the normal scratchiness: they appear to have married the wrong person.
How do such errors happen, in our enlightened, knowledge-rich times? To avoid becoming a “statistic,” try to internalize these 7 insights.
#1. You picked the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you’re married.
Many Christians may assume that non-believers are more likely to marry the wrong person because they lack God’s guidance in finding their one true love. But not so fast. Unfortunately, the number of Christians divorcing is no lower than that of non-believers.
“Singles today (and most married couples too) are searching for super-spouses that simply don’t exist.”
Movie star Mickey Rooney said, “Marriage is like batting in baseball; when the right one comes along, you don’t want to let it go by.” It sounds good, until you realize that Mickey was married eight times. He must have had a lot of “good pitches” to swing at!
Mickey Rooney has what might be called the “needle in a haystack” view of picking a mate.
But you won’t find a “wrong needle” clause in the Bible that gives you an “out” if you conclude that your spouse isn’t right for you. Instead you’ll find in Malachi 2:15, “Do not break faith with the wife of your youth.”
Surprising to many, the Bible never tells us to find the one God has chosen. It tells us how to live with the person we have chosen. It’s easy to take our thoughts to the extreme when we’re so unhappy. But lets not forget that God says in the Bible says, “Come, let us reason together” (Isaiah 1:18). You didn’t marry a mind reader. Don’t fault him or her for that.
#2. You picked the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.
Many societies portray marriage as a temporary arrangement that can be adapted or forsaken at will. When first looking out for a partner, the requirements we come up with are coloured by a beautiful non-specific sentimental vagueness. All of us are crazy in very particular ways. All too many people say their vows without a real commitment to their spouse or to God.
Marriage is not primarily about finding the right spouse. It’s about being the right person. In his classic work, The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm declares, “To love somebody is not just a strong feeling—it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise.
#3. You choose the wrong person because you do not share common life goals and priorities.
Biblically, a Christian should be looking to marry another believer who shares a similar commitment to following the Lord Jesus. Marriage to an unbeliever should be avoided (2 Corinthians 6:14). So, if a Christian marries a non-Christian, he or she may have indeed married the wrong person.
#4. You choose the wrong person because you got intimately involved too quickly.
“Do you know unmarried couples who attend church, have consensual sex, and may even live together? According to a recent study by the Barna Group,”
The Bible is filled with lots of info about sex, and believe it or not, God thinks it’s a great idea! And why shouldn’t He, He invented it and declared it to be “good.”
Many Christian couples also justify cohabitation with the rationalization that they are going to get married eventually. However, the Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4). Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage.
If you believe Christ died on a cross for your sins and you are trusting in Christ alone for your salvation, Christ commands you to pick up your cross and follow him (Matt. 16:24). Sex outside of marriage is a sin, no matter how a person tries to interpret Scripture otherwise, and every Christian is called to obey God in this aspect of life. Jesus said.
Also consider this, if the Bible’s message on sex before marriage was obeyed, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives.
#5. You picked the wrong person because you didn’t put everything on the table.
Let’s start off with the big one. TRUST! When a spouse is persistently and relentlessly lying about dim-witted things, it causes worry and doubts to set up camp. The journey begins like this. A young man or woman identifies the person he or she wants to marry and begins the business of serious courtship. Time and money are no object. They have a worthy goal and are motivated, even if that means telling lies in the process.
“You look as beautiful today as the day I met you.” “Of course you don’t look fat in that.” “I’m not angry.” “I wasn’t looking at her, I was just noticing her boots.”
Legally, all you need for a wedding is a visit to the county clerk’s office, and whatever else your local government requires. Most weddings these days skip the garter toss; many skip the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and some even skip the flowers. But what matters most is that you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
“If you tell the truth, it becomes part of your past, however, if you tell a lie, it becomes part of your future”. ~ Author Unknown”
Wow does that quote nails it, or what??!!
#6. You picked the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.
In many places in the world, a fantasy is promoted that marriage should meet all our needs—the emphasis being on meeting one’s own needs, not the needs of one’s spouse. However, people that are unhappy when single and expect marriage to fulfil their lives are greatly disappointed as their level of contentment will drop even lower when married. Unrealistic expectations are those demands you make of your spouse of which he or she is incapable of providing.
“When you’re single, you experience a range of contentment from low to high. However, when your married, that range becomes even wider in both directions. Greater contentment—or discontentment.”
God wants to destroy you, not the physical you, but the selfish you. Jesus taught us that if we don’t die to our selfish nature, we will never be able to experience all the blessings that God wants to bestow on us. Well, if there was ever an institution designed to kill the selfish you, it’s marriage. In fact, it is virtually impossible to succeed at marriage if you don’t learn how to let the selfish part of you die.
#7. You picked the wrong person because you did not consult with God
“I don’t think I can do any better. He or she said, It may sound clich, but if you don’t respect and love yourself, it will be difficult to respect and love another person.”
Surely we aren’t destined to fail. So maybe we have misunderstood the will of God. I know that sounds simplistic. Many people claim that is the problem with their marriage. If they could go back and press rewind, if they knew back then what they know now, they would have made different decisions. But remember that God promises us that if we ask, He will give. And while asking, request that the Holy Spirit guide you as your Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).
How can a person prevent getting married to the wrong person?
The truth is, a successful marriage is not the result of marrying the “right” person, feeling the “right”emotions, thinking the “right” thoughts, or even praying the “right” prayers,
Instead, keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards,” is good advice (Poor Richard’s Almanac, June 1738), but even more helpful is to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33).
Can Rock Star Alice Cooper Really Be A Christian?
Thinking back to the rock celebrity from the 1970s, Alice Cooper, and your mind will probably conjure up images of a creepy long-haired guy with runny black eye makeup who plays with snakes. In an age when hard rock was associated with all things evil, Alice Cooper seemed to epitomise that genre. His style was macabre theatre and he played it up with all his might.
But it wasn’t always that way.
Raised as a pastor’s kid (and the grandson of an evangelist) Alice Cooper grew up in Detroit and Phoenix as Vincent Damon Furnier. He even served in the church as a pre-teen. But as a teen, Furnier wandered off from the church to begin his rock career, eventually adopting the band name “Alice Cooper” as his own. In many respects, he became a completely different person.
Inspired by the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Kinks, and The Who, Cooper’s band jumped quickly into fame in the 1960s and 1970s with showmanship as well as musical talent. Drugs and alcohol came naturally along with the mix, while violent stage antics began to draw more and more attention. Glam-rock costumes, fake blood, torture of baby dolls, and even mock human executions became trademarks, leaving audiences wondering what could be next.
The effect was controversial in public, to say the least, while Cooper’s life was on a downward spiral in private. Hospitalising himself for alcohol addiction in the late 70s, he wasn’t able to kick his habit of illicit substance abuse. Barely able to remember recording some of his albums in the 80s, Cooper was so addicted that his wife filed for divorce (they then reconciled). He began acting in B-grade horror films as well as appearing as a dark personality in many other formats.
Since then, things have drastically changed again.
The faith of his childhood never went away and Cooper eventually hit rock bottom. He looked around himself and saw his drinking buddies, including Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix, realised they were dying before they were 30, and didn’t want the same for himself.
When he bottomed out, Cooper knew where to turn. He credits his full recovery to God.
Appearing as King Herod in NBC’s live version of Jesus Christ Superstar for Easter 2018, Alice Cooper’s dark experience likely allows him to identify with Herod’s dark side more than the average person.
Now 70 years old, Cooper declares that he and his wife are both Christians who read the bible and pray every day. Alice’s wife, Sheryl, also grew up as the child of a clergyman. The couple has remained faithful to each other throughout their 42-year marriage and are thankful that their three kids have never had any problems with alcohol or drugs.
Alice Cooper doesn’t consider himself to be particularly “religious” but he does go to church every Sunday. He also heads up a faith-based organisation in Phoenix, called Solid Rock, which ministers to teens in partnership with a local church.
Cooper says that Christianity is all about “dependence on Christ” and a “one-on-one relationship”. And he is adamant that there’s nothing in the bible that says he can’t be a Rock Star.
Check out these lyrics from Cleansed By Fire from the 1994 album “The Last Temptation”:
What about truth
What about life
What about glory
What about Christ
What about peace
What about love
What about faith in God above”¦.
You’re lost
And I’m found
And I’m Heaven Bound
24 of Bonhoeffer’s Most Challenging Quotes
Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor, theologian, spy, anti-Nazi dissident, key founding member of the Confessing Church as well as one of the most influential spiritual voices across the globe for decades. It’s a good thing for the modern Church that Bonhoeffer was determined in his course.
Bonhoeffer grew up amid the academic circles of the University of Berlin, where his father, Karl Bonhoeffer, was a professor of psychiatry and neurology and was awarded a doctorate in 1927 at the age of only 21. He also studied at Union Theological Seminary in New York from 1930–1931. During that time he attended Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem and became deeply interested in the issue of racial injustice.
Bonhoeffer’s involvement in a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler led to his imprisonment and execution on the 9th April 1945.
More than seventy years after his death, Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s writings on faith, the Church, ethics and the nature of God serve as a touchstone for all of us who seek to understand a Christian’s responsibility in the face of injustice and have gone on to have a profound influence on Western Culture and the legions of Christian thinkers who’ve encountered them ever since. He also remains an important symbol of opposition to Hitler.
Here’s a look back at some of Bonhoeffer’s most powerful quotes.
ON GRACE
“Cheap grace is preaching forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, Communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.”
ON JUDGING OTHERS
“Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.”
ON LIFE
“Christianity preaches the infinite worth of that which is seemingly worthless and the infinite worthlessness of that which is seemingly so valued.”
ON SIN
“May we be enabled to say ‘No’ to sin and ‘Yes’ to the sinner.”
ON JUDGING
“Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.”
ON SERVING GOD
“We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God.”
ON GOD’S LOVE
“God does not love some ideal person, but rather human beings just as we are, not some ideal world, but rather the real world.”
ON GOD’S WILL
“Being a Christian is less about cautiously avoiding sin than about courageously and actively doing God’s will.”
ON SERVING OTHERS
“The Church is the Church only when it exists for others, not dominating, but helping and serving. It must tell men of every calling what it means to live for Christ, to exist for others.”
ON OBEDIENCE
“One act of obedience is worth a hundred sermons.”
ON EVIL
“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”
ON AFFIRMATIVE ACTION
“We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself.”
ON STANDING UP FOR INJUSTICE
“If I sit next to a madman as he drives a car into a group of innocent bystanders, I can’t, as a Christian, simply wait for the catastrophe, then comfort the wounded and bury the dead. I must try to wrestle the steering wheel out of the hands of the driver.”
ON GRATITUDE
“In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude. It is so easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements compared with what we owe to the help of others.”
ON FOLLOWING CHRIST
“When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”
ON INJUSTICE
“We are not to simply bandage the wounds of victims beneath the wheels of injustice, we are to drive a spoke into the wheel itself.”
ON PEACE
“There is no way to peace along the way of safety. For peace must be dared, it is itself the great venture and can never be safe. Peace is the opposite of security. To demand guarantees is to want to protect oneself. Peace means giving oneself completely to God’s commandment, wanting no security, but in faith and obedience laying the destiny of the nations in the hand of Almighty God, not trying to direct it for selfish purposes. Battles are won, not with weapons, but with God. They are won when the way leads to the cross.”
ON ‘DEFENDING’ THE BIBLE
“Do not try to make the Bible relevant. Its relevance is axiomatic. Do not defend God’s word, but testify to it. Trust to the Word. It is a ship loaded to the very limits of its capacity.”
ON REAL MORALITY
“The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children.”
ON PEOPLE
“We must learn to regard people less in light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
ON SPIRITUALITY
“When all is said and done, the life of faith is nothing if not an unending struggle of the spirit with every available weapon against the flesh.”
ON FELLOWSHIP
“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists of listening to them. Just as love of God begins with listening to his word, so the beginning of love for our brothers and sisters is learning to listen to them.”
ON PROOF OF GOD
“A God who let us prove his existence would be an idol.”
ON THE FUTURE
“The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children.”
She’s Interested and He’s Not Pursuing
Houston, we have a problem. It’s a problem that will require all of our effort, courage, confidence and creativity to solve.
Christianity is the largest religion in the world, claiming 2.2 billion of the world’s 6.9 billion people, as of last year and dating is a big deal for most young Christians. However, ask any young woman what the Christian dating scene is like these days.
“Christian men … ugh.” Grim. Impossible. Slim pickings they’ll say.
Young Christian men simply won’t commit, they’ll say and if you’re lucky they’ll call once – never to be heard from again.
And the churchgoing men who are available? Well, there’s a reason they’re single.
“Usually, he respects or admires the godly young woman (or, other people in his Church think he should admire her more), and yet he’s not physically attracted to her. She’s not his “type,” he says.”
So why are all the single Christian ladies having trouble finding single Christian guys for companionship and romance? A plethora of Christian dating websites, books, blogs, advice columns, and magazine articles have surfaced in the last few years, attempting to give Christian young women some helpful tips for snagging a godly man and achieving that much-desired state of wedded bliss.
- Date for at least a year.
- Don’t kiss before you’re married.
- Be careful how much time you spend together.
- Date a bunch of people before getting serious.
- Don’t unless you are ready to move in the direction of marriage.
It’s not terrible advice— waiting until marriage takes work. But here’s the thing: Relationships take work. However, while most Chrisitan ladies have internal regulations in the form of our Spirit inspired convictions and knowledge of the Bible, it does not seem to be enough?
Could it be that we screened all the godly young men out of church as boys?
Probably not entirely, as according to Mark Regenerus, a sociology professor at the University of Texas, young single women in the church outnumber young single men by a three-to-two ratio.
That’s right ladies, you’re not imagining it: there’s a severe shortage of single men in the church. Not just here in the U.S., but also around the world.
“There are almost no men in my country who are following Christ. And French men will not marry a woman whose faith in Jesus is so strong. She is a leper in their eyes.” – Christian woman from France
A young godly man knows he’s a catch – particularly if he’s dedicated to his faith, good looking and works out and there are hardly any other man is his Church. With each week that passes, he’s presented with a congregation full of single women. Most haven’t been on a date in a while. He has his pick of the bunch.
There’s even a joke about the gender imbalance. It goes like this:
“Men in the church are like parking spaces. All the good ones are either already taken, or they’re handicapped.”
Furthermore, it has been confirmed that the supply of young women grows with each passing year.
So whats the solution?
God Will Orchestrate the Love Story
Do you find yourself becoming resentful that God is withholding something from you?
- Still waiting to find the man of your dreams
- Your greatest desire is to have a baby
- You want to experience the joy of being “equally yoked” with a godly husband
Desperation is dangerous because it focuses on self: What I want. What I must have. What I cannot live without. Firstly, if and when the time comes for you to be married, God will orchestrate the love story. But in the meantime, your focus is to be on serving God and pouring your life out for God, not on getting serious about getting married. The timing is up to God, not you.
Singled Out in Church
Secondly, research shows that single men are more likely to attend churches that fit the following profile:
- Large
- Headed by a male pastor who’s bold and outspoken
- Offers intentional male discipleship
- Worship service is done in under 90 minutes
Apart from salvation, there is perhaps a way that the concept “God helps those who help themselves” is correct. We’re not suggesting you switch churches over this issue. It probably wouldn’t hurt to visit another church once in awhile – especially if your church offers nothing for singles.
Also remember that there are actually some Christ-men out there who are praying and hoping for a set-apart young woman – one who is not following after the trends of the culture, or who are not wallowing around in discontentment or on the constant prowl for a guy.
Any pastors who are reading, have you ever stopped to listen, really listen, to the women in your church about how they feel they are treated or perceived?
Any other advice?
What Should Be Different about a Christian Marriage?
You get a lot of advice before you get married.
“Never go to bed angry.”
“Keep dating.”
“Make your partner your first priority.”
“Don’t walk out during an argument.”
“It’s all about communication.”
So why on earth do so many marriages fail?
Reasons Why Couples Break Up
Marriage has gotten quite a bad reputation over the years. The butt of a seemingly infinite number of jokes, matrimony is a source of endless social commentary, gender politics, and governmental debate.
According to recent University of Maryland divorce research, you’ve got about a 50/50 chance of growing old with your spouse. If the statistic did not shock you, the reasons many couples decide to separate will not either.
“The relationship was built more on lust than a true partnership.”
“I wasn’t present.”
“We were together 15 years, I was unhappy for 11 of them.”
“We were co-parents, not lovers.”
“We didn’t choose to work on the marriage, day in and day out.”
“It was like we were on opposite teams.”
“Married too fast”
“Bedroom boredom”
I was a full-time manager in the marriage.
“There was no respect.”
“There was no real intimacy.”
Many people mistakenly believe that most marriages end almost exclusively because of infidelity, however, while this certainly is a major factor, the decision to terminate a marriage is much more complicated.
“Conventional wisdom tells us that those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.”
A marriage is a lot like buying a new car. Driving it out of the showroom is bliss. As you cruise off you can hardly believe your luck. Everything feels, sounds, smells and looks perfect. You coast through many months—sometimes even years— of happy driving before the car needs an MOT or service. But like a car, when a relationship eventually breaks down, it’s flabbergasting; you’re left stuck on the side of the road trying to figure out what on earth went wrong and realise that no car or relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Christ-centred Marriage
“Our culture still shapes our thinking and conduct regarding marriage to an incredible degree.”
It’s easy to think that only “other people” get divorced. That your own marriage is somehow immune to heartache, infidelity and fights over who gets the house, car and dog. After all, how many of us would walk down the aisle if we knew for sure that our relationships would end up in divorce court.
Viewing Marriage Realistically
Christian or not, marriage is difficult for any couple to sustain over a lifetime. Life’s trials—the pressure of making a living, of parenting, of resisting temptations to unfaithfulness or selfishness. But Christian marriage offers hope.
“We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession.”
Christians marriages should be shaped by the cross of Christ, the Word of God, and the Spirit of God.
“Above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins’ ” (1 Peter 4:8).
“Her husband ”¦ praises her” (Proverbs 31:28).
“She who is married cares ”¦ how she may please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:34).
“Be kindly affectionate to one another ”¦ in honor giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10).
“Pray for one another” (James 5:16).
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself” (1 Corinthians 13:4).
Successful marriages don’t just happen; they must be developed.
Serving Our Spouse
Another key component in a Christian marriage is selflessness, as described in Philippians 2:3-4. The principle of humility outlined in these verses is crucial to a strong Christian marriage. If happiness is our primary goal, we’ll get a divorce as soon as happiness seems to wane. With greater awareness of the principle of thought, many marriages can be saved and even strengthened.
Becoming “one” is about more than sex. It requires a level of vulnerability that opens the door for deep hurt. Both husband and wife must consider their partner’s needs before their own, which requires a selflessness that is only possible by the power of the Holy Spirit who indwells them.
“Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.”
“Encourage rather than criticize.”
“Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.”
“Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.”
It is a partnership of love, made richer and deeper through sex. Continue—or revive—your courtship into your married life.
Marriage isn’t always easy and the sad reality is that not all “I dos” end with a happily ever after. However, the primary difference between a Christian marriage and a non-Christian marriage should be that Christ is the centre of the marriage. With a Christ-centered relationship, an other-centered attitude and an unwavering commitment to making it work, your marriage can flourish — just as God designed.
Which of these reasons is most true in your marriage? Please share with me below.
Married to Their Smartphones (Oh, and to Each Other, Too)
Neither Joe or Willy are having an affair. But one of them has found a new object of affection, which has become a new companion and inspires a surprising amount of jealousy among her spouse – its the new relationship buster: the smartphone. “It helps me wake up,” she said.
“Experts say that smartphone use is meddling in our marriages in ways that are sometimes benign, and often forcing couples to address an ever more important question: At what point are we choosing to spend more time with our smartphones than with our spouses? (Christian Marriages, Too)”
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the warmth and intimacy of marriages are ebbing away with a culture of dings, beeps and buzzes as most people manage everything from bank accounts to fantasy football teams on mobile phone devices.
It’s almost at pandemic levels now. Married or not, most of us sleep with our phones right next to us, pocket them as we go from place to place and think nothing of using them whether our partners are talking or not.
“Therapists say that when a marriage hits a rocky patch, they’ve seen one or both partners hide behind their phones.”
If you’re still reading this article then we can safely assume you know what we’re talking about. The US divorce rate hovers at 40 per cent, but that’s not the whole story. Many sound relationships are on life support. According to a survey by the National Opinion Research Centre.
You’d think this problem would exist only outside the church, wrong.
Pope Francis says most marriages today are ‘invalid’ because couples don’t go into them with the right intentions. This is a disaster for the Church much less society as a whole.
“When a Christian marriage unravels, many questions rise to the surface.”
It’s a shame that most of our relationships are in shambles. However, its time to put down the Smartphone and save your marriage. But how?
1. The first year of marriage is hard”¦really hard.
In an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation for a newlywed Christian couple. If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your a problems”¦buckle up. The marriage will be bumpy-ride.
Don’t buy the wedding day lie. Marriage is not about you. Take this as a warning”¦the first year of marriage is difficult and you will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.
In Saudi Arabia, a newlywed husband filied for divorce after his wife stopped his attempts at consummation to reply to wedding messages. Whiles this is simply over the top. Yes, it can be partially about not texting on your wedding night!
We know marriage is hard, but walking away from it will have a lasting impact. Marry a Christian, yes. But maybe go even further and marry somebody with similar passions and dreams.
2. Prioritize Your Partner Over Your Phone
“Marital bliss is fictional, but marital happiness can be a reality.”
This is an obvious point, but it’s still one that most people tend to disregard. Sex is a gift from God. So explore It. Make no mistake”¦God created sex. But through the years, God’s people allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight.
God created sex. If your married, here’s a challenge. Explore sex. Explore the fullness of it and pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.
3. There is more than one person out there for you.
Marriage is a huge choice, and so is divorce. Soul mates are made”¦not born. We are not sure where this idea of a soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Marriages are complex – they’re filled with compromise, balancing expectations and maintaining a foundation built on trust. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse and both of you serve God. You see the closer you get to God the closer you will be to each other.
“The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married ” – (John Fischer).
To God be the glory forever. Amen!
Have We Created a Monster? – On #MeToo, FiftyShades and more
Last month, every time I turned on the TV or read the news on the internet, there was some new sexual abuse or harassment scandal being plastered on my screen.
Last year it was the Church of England. Then it was Hollywood. Then it was the Olympics gymnast doctor scandal. Then it was #MeToo. Then it was that Aziz Ansari story. Then it was the President’s Club.
The scale of this uncovering has been huge.
I’m all for evil being exposed because that’s the only way to be rid of it. But some of these incidents are not all that clear-cut. When lines get blurred, the real evils and injustices become harder to tackle. Worse, we end up preoccupied with the symptoms of a broken system, instead of tackling the root.
Abuse or regret?
Let’s take the Aziz Ansari story, to start with. If you don’t know what this is about, a young woman, ‘Grace’, came forward last month, as part of the #MeToo campaign, to tell her story about her date-gone-wrong with actor and comedian Aziz Ansari.
There’s no denying the unpleasantness of this story, but if you can detach yourself for a moment from the narrator’s emotional experience, the facts remain: ‘Grace’ went to Ansari’s apartment willingly enough and, despite feeling uncomfortable, performed sexual acts on him. When she texted him the next day to tell him how she felt, he apologized. He hadn’t understood her non-verbal cues.
Whilst unpleasant and uncomfortable, this account does not constitute sexual assault. In the article, ‘Grace’ says she felt pressured to do things she didn’t want to do. But Grace was not forced against her will. She could have said ‘no’, walked away, or even better, refused to go back to his apartment after a hurried first date that she didn’t seem to enjoy.
Stories like this complicate the whole #MeToo campaign with some blurry definitions as to what constitutes assault or abuse, and what does not.
‘Grace’ shouldn’t feel responsible for Ansari’s behavior. But where’s the acknowledgment of her own error of judgment? There’s probably more nuance to this, but I think it has more to do with why women feel like they need to have sex with someone they’ve just met than it does about the definition of consent.
We condemn and promote the same thing
But what bothers me more is that the very culture that condemns sexual assault promotes a morality that leaves people wide open to abuse.
Why is there so much outcry about #MeToo but very little about pornography, for example? Porn harms everybody involved: The actors, the consumer and those close to the consumer (and there are a lot of consumers. According to the Huffington Post, porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined each month). Porn fuels the demand for sex trafficking, one of the most extreme forms of sexual abuse out there. Why isn’t this being taken seriously? Why isn’t more being done to educate young, impressionable teens about the risks attached to porn use?
Unhealthy, hyper-sexualized relationships are not always presented overtly – sometimes they’re packaged attractively with seductive advertising and slick soundtracks. Fifty Shades of Grey is a timely example. Despite the increasing number of people who have called out Fifty Shades for what it is – a ridiculous saga normalizing an abusive and controlling relationship – it continues to be advertised as your ultimate Valentine’s date night.
But the problem lies deeper still. It’s not just the glorification of abusive relationships in the media. It’s about the way society views sex and relationships altogether.
If a rom-com doesn’t depict the protagonists jumping into bed almost immediately, is it even a rom-com? Even Friends can’t go without joking about casual sex or porn multiple times per episode.
The music industry is no better. Until the media stops selling music using half-naked women and basically-soft-porn music videos, it needs to shut up about female empowerment. You’re not powerful if you have to take off your clothes and sing about sex to make people buy your music.
This is nothing new
Seems bleak right? Well, it’s probably helpful at this point to take a step back and recognize that what we’re seeing is nothing new. Sexual norms in Greco-Roman society were even more permissive than they are today. If you were the master of the house, pederasty (sleeping with your boy slave) was considered A-OK. Fidelity in marriage was looked down upon and your typical Greco-Roman home would be adorned with every-day items covered in pornographic images.
The introduction of Christianity would have been an affront to everything that Greco-Roman culture stood for. Today, as we’ve drifted further and further away from the pattern of sex and relationships that God had in mind for us, we see much of the same.
The progressive ideology that led to the liberalization of sexual norms is the very same one that has created an environment where sexual misconduct can run rife.
Our culture is desperately confused. We think more ‘progression’ is the solution but instead we’ve regressed into a situation where sex is cheap; both glorified and debased.
I hope that by recognizing the correlation between what society promotes, and its outworkings, we can all be a little smarter about what we consume and which narratives we buy into.
Can A Christian Be Angry and Not Sin?
To get angry is normal. Like love, it is a human emotion. Like love, it is an emotion that God also feels. Scriptures share instances where God Himself got angry. Yes, God who cannot sin got angry. That means anger is not inherently wrong. That means that God’s anger is always rightly caused and rightly managed. God became angry with Solomon because his heart turned away from God. God got angry with Moses in the wilderness because he took the glory away from God.
A Christian can get angry for the right reasons.
It is normal to get angry when an offense is committed when boundaries are overstepped, and when principles are violated. It’s right to be angry when there’s disobedience or a breaking of trust. These are all valid reasons.
Scriptures tell us that getting angry easily and at the slightest of reasons is wrong. Ecclesiastes 7:9 tells us not to be eager in our heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools. Patience must be afforded when needed. Rebellion or repetitive abuse towards you rightly causes anger but first-time offenses may be unintentional and need only your loving rebuke and redirection.
You should also be careful not to get angry when your expectations aren’t met. There are reasonable expectations and there are unreasonable ones. Just because somebody doesn’t measure up to your standards doesn’t mean they are deserving of your anger.
Our Father is angry when we sin and do wrong because no good thing ever comes from a life of sin. But God never gets angry about our weakness or shortcomings. He never chides us or belittles us for our failings. No. He encourages us and empowers us towards betterment.
Right Anger is Anger Managed Rightly
Throughout Scriptures, we see a God who deals with sin yet loves the sinning. We see consequences but we also see mercy. We see broken fellowship but we also see restoration.
The Bible coaches us on how to rightly manage anger:
- Do not prolong your anger.
Ephesians 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” We should never let our anger turn into something else. If we are able to deal with the issue then confront it. If there is no way to directly settle the problem, then we prayerfully wait and seek God’s help for an opportunity to right the wrong that has been committed against us.
- let anger control you.
Proverbs 29:11 says, “Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end”. No matter how valid your reason for anger is you must not allow it to dominate you and steer you into an uncontrollable outburst. Even if the hurt is too much, remember that a Spirit yielded life will exercise control.
- Do not let anger drive you to unwholesome talk.
In our anger, we must keep in mind the purpose of our rebuke; to point out wrong and to warn the offender not to repeat the same mistake again. Ephesians 4:29 tells us not to allow foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk to come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful. The world lashes out in anger. The world curses belittle and shames. But we are not the world. We are the church. While some may even say it feels better to speak out like that, in the end, what profit does corrupt talk really bring? Does it better how people look at you? Does it solve your problem? Does it help the offender?
- Do not let anger make you bitter and vengeful.
Ephesians 4:27 warns us that prolonged anger gives the enemy a foothold. It gives him an opening for manipulating us into thinking and doing the wrong things. Anger is often prolonged when it remains unexpressed and undealt with. It is actually healthier to express and explain your anger early on. When matters are dealt with, resentment and bitterness will not creep in.
Some offenders may refuse to change. When someone hurts us repeatedly, anger may build up. So if we are able, we should remove ourselves from any situation that will allow the offender to do us wrong again. We should not allow wrong to continue.
Some offenses may be overwhelmingly hurtful and tragic and thus have no remedy. While a desire to hurt back may arise, settle your heart and mind onto praying for and seeking justice. Romans 12:19 reminds us not to take revenge but to allow God to work out justice for us. Wait on God to move and allow Him to heal you as you wait on Him.
- Do not let anger make you unforgiving.
In Matthew 18:21,22 Jesus tells us to forgive without taking count. Colossians 3:13 tells us to exercise a forgiving spirit just as we have been recipients of God’s forgiveness. Forgiving is not always easy, it is a supernatural act. It is something we allow the Holy Spirit to prepare and empower us for. We may not immediately be ready to forgive, but if we are willing; the readiness will always come.
Being Brave: A 40-Day Journey to the Life God Dreams for You
Part 1 of an interview with Kelly Johnson,Author of Being Brave: A 40-Day Journey to the Life God Dreams for You
The world can be a scary place, and the fear it produces can spiral us into a sort of paralysis that keeps us from speaking truth, living boldly, and encouraging others. To spur us back into action, life coach Kelly Johnson has written a devotional, Being Brave: A 40-Day Journey to the Life God Dreams for You (Abingdon Press), to help fan the flame of bravery that lies in wait within everyone.
Q: How did your daughter first start you on the journey to study about being brave, and what role did she play in encouraging you to write this book?
When my youngest daughter was nine years old, she was having a particularly tough day. She had worn me out with her growing list of worries, complaints, aches, pains, and fears, and I told her I didn’t know what else I could do for her. I had depleted my reservoir of mommy tricks in my efforts to help her get to the other side of her increasing angst and finally said to her, “Brooke, I don’t know how to help you.” She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Mommy, I just need you to tell me that I’m a brave soldier.” Her response to me that day began our family’s journey with the power of naming one another brave.
When Brooke left for college a few years ago, she wrote me a letter inviting me to step out and be brave in this new season of my life. Through my curiosity around the word brave, I started writing, reading, and wondering about what being brave meant for women like me who wanted to live lives of meaning and purpose but were sometimes scared to step out of their comfort zones. In October 2015, I offered my first Being Brave retreat where we explored God’s vision for our life, the barriers to fully embracing that braver life, and the part our connection to one another played in hearing God’s voice more clearly. This book was originally created as a resource and follow-up for my retreat attendees to go more deeply into the concepts we covered at the retreat.
Q: How is being brave tied into our faith and identity as Christians? Why is it powerful to be called brave?
The most often repeated command in scripture is “do not fear.” God knew we would need encouragement to help us deal with our tendency to be sidetracked by our fears, so we find hundreds of scriptures about fear and courage in the Bible. Every exhortation to set aside our fear includes a reminder of God’s presence. Because of God’s presence, we can defeat the power of fear in our life and live in the fullness of who God made us to be. Because of God, we are brave. The theme verse for our journey is found in 2 Timothy 1:7:
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity,but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.
Remembering we are brave reminds us of our identity as children of God and sets us free to do the next right thing with confidence. Naming one another BRAVE, calling out the brave soldier in each other, is a powerful way of speaking out loud the following message of solidarity and inspiration: “I see your struggle. I see your brave, hard work. I believe in you, and I’m here if you need help.” When we are reminded of our inherent, God-given courage, we can turn down the volume on the voice of our inner critic and turn up the volume on God’s voice. Remembering we are brave helps us tap into the part of ourselves that is creative and resourceful.
Q: You describe part of being brave as being bold, confident, and resilient. What encouragement do you have for the woman who doesn’t feel like she is any of those things?
My experience both personally and in my interactions with friends and clients tells me many of us would have trouble describing ourselves with those words most of the time. While we might be willing to acknowledge confidence, boldness, or resilience in ourselves in some areas, many of us are much quicker to see those qualities in others. We tend to compare our insides with other people’s outsides and reach the conclusion that others possess something we just don’t have. I would encourage the woman who struggles to identify those qualities in herself to ask a trusted friend or family member for help in the discovery process. We are always more connected to our courage in the context of community. Find the people who encourage you to step out and exercise your confidence muscles and offer them the gift of encouragement in return.
I would also encourage her to determine what she thinks being bold, confident, and resilient looks like and act that way until she begins to feel that way. One of my favorite quotes about being brave is from Aristotle. He says, “We become brave by doing brave acts.” I believe scripture tells us that God created us to be brave, bold, confident, and resilient. Until we remember what that feels like, we need to encourage one another and practice doing brave things. Do one thing that scares you every day, no matter how small, and catch your friends being brave.
Q: Who was Being Brave written for?
The Being Brave journey is for women who feel stuck and want to get un-stuck. This book is for the woman who dreams of a life of deeper purpose and passion, even though she isn’t sure she has anything significant to contribute. This book is for the woman who feels lonely, even though she has 750 friends on Facebook, and for the woman who loves Jesus, even though she doesn’t always feel like she fits in at church. This book is for the woman longing for deeper connection to God and to other women like her. This book is for the woman who needs someone to tell her she is brave, her story matters, and the party won’t be complete without her.
Q: Tell us a little bit about the format of Being Brave. How did you intend for the book to be used?
The book is formatted as a forty-day devotional journey. Using our theme scripture from 2 Timothy and an acronym of the word BRAVE, we explore six facets of being brave. On this journey, being brave includes being Bold, Resilient, Authentic, Vulnerable, Engaged, and Empowered by the Spirit. Each day explores one of the six facets of bravery with two scripture verses, an illustration, three thought-provoking questions, and a prayer. Along the way, we take inspiration from Jesus and His brave followers during the final weeks of His ministry, in addition to examples of courage from my own community.
My prayer is that readers will find an accessible guide to thinking about being brave in a new way and be willing to consider the idea that our Creator is willing and able to accompany us on the journey. I hope Being Brave is a book that both seasoned devotional enthusiasts and those who have never used a daily devotional before will find meaningful. In less than thirty minutes, most readers will be able to explore the daily offering and consider ways to incorporate the various facets of bravery into their day.
7 Ways Meditative Prayer Can Benefit Your Health
A friend and I recently started a women’s circle in our town, inviting friends and fellow church-goers. We told everyone it would be a time of guided meditation, solitude, and spiritual connection with God. A time to be mindful and present. We knew this might be a new concept to some women so we explained it through written communication and face-to-face.
Very quickly we realized that a lot of confusion exists around meditation. Or at least in our little evangelical Christian corner of the western world. And I’m guessing we are not alone.
Some women thought we were planning to do yoga. Others were uncertain whether meditation is even appropriate for Christians.
Thankfully, we weren’t calling our sisters to do anything unbiblical. In fact, David, the “man after God’s own heart” wrote about his heart’s meditation in the Psalms.
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
So what is meditation?
More than those quick prayers we say while driving or just before a big meeting. Different than the times we spend in corporate prayer. Not quite the same as worship—although the two are related.
Meditation is about taking a dedicated time to stop, contemplate, and consider. It doesn’t happen on the fly.
According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, meditation is “the act of giving your attention to only one thing”.
Focus. Fixate. Concentrate.
Consider. Reflect. Contemplate.
Ponder. Ruminate. Deliberate. Speculate.
In an age where people are constantly busy and value is placed on activity or productivity, the idea of sitting still, thinking or pondering scripture seems foreign. But could this be the very reason that anxiety, stress, and chronic illness are so pervasive? Could it be that putting our lives on pause to meditate has the power to change things?
We are instructed by the author of Hebrews to “fix our eyes on Jesus“. (Heb 12:2)
As we fix our eyes and hearts on Jesus through meditation, we gain innumerable benefits. Of course, the spiritual benefits are obvious. Deepening our relationship with the Father. Keeping us in step with the Spirit.
Certainly, emotional benefits come from spending time communing with God. And these can extend into our personal relationships with family and friends.
But what about physical benefits? Is it possible that God created our bodies in a way that we are physically healthier when we spend time communing with him?
The answer is yes. Emphatically, yes.
Our brilliant Creator made our bodies to respond to meditation, contemplation, stillness and focus in a way that offers a myriad of benefits. And while scientists can’t quite understand why research shows that times of meditation are healthy for the human body.
While the details vary depending on the specific study, the basic concept remains the same. Research shows that, on the whole, people who meditate have better health in specific areas as well as overall.
Here are some of the ways studies have shown meditation benefits the health:
- Lowers Blood Pressure. Young people were found to have significantly lower blood pressure rates after mediation when compared to a control group.
- Reduced Heart Rate. When compared with people who were simply resting during the same amount of time, people who meditated had significant decreases in their heart rate and blood pressure levels. And the longer the meditation lasts, the lower the heart rate.
- Serotonin Levels. Critical in relationship to mood, bone health, digestion, and wound healing, people who meditate have higher levels of this critical neurotransmitter.
- Melatonin Levels. Vital for proper sleeping rhythms, people who meditate have higher levels of melatonin.
- Immune System. After eight weeks of meditation training, study participants were found to have much higher functioning immune system response than a control group.
- Reduced Chronic Illness Symptoms. In various studies, people who meditate have shown significant improvement in symptoms of chronic illness such as fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, psoriasis, and even cancer.
- Overall Sense of Health and Well-Being. As extra dopamine is released during meditation, our overall feelings of pleasure and joy are triggered. Dopamine is useful in balancing blood pressure as well as fighting against depression and anxiety.
It is important to note that meditation can be physically beneficial whether practiced with or without religious beliefs. But, as Christians, we understand that the only true self-reflection and enlightenment we can find comes from the God of the Universe. As we commit to meditate and commune with God, we are rewarded with a deepening eternal relationship as well as health for our temporal bodies.
It seems that God has thought of everything.
If you aren’t sure how you feel about meditation, why not try it? Tell us about your experience.
The Pain of a Prodigal: Why Children of Christian Parents Abandon the Faith?
Statistics show a rise in the number of people who hold no religion. For Australia, an official tally shows a steady rise every 10 years.
Nat Geo reports that “the religiously unaffiliated, called “nones,” are now”¦ the second largest group in North America and most of Europe.” They make up about 25% of the US population. As of 2016, the “nones” have overtaken Catholics, Protestants, and non-Christian faiths.
Where did these “nones” come from? Didn’t they come from family lines that had religion before, a Christian one possibly? History shows us that from ancient times people practiced their own kind of worship. Inside every heart has always been a realization of a being that is above and beyond us, whose very nature summons our recognition and adoration. Fast forward to the present though and we find in many people the spirit of atheism if not indifference towards God.
LifeWay research warns that Christianity may be losing its “Millennials”. “A survey conducted on adults born from 1980 indicate that “religion and its practices are decreasing and becoming increasingly privatized among the Millennial generation.”
This means fewer people now observe the faith and fewer join communal worship, fellowship, and prayer. Children are abandoning the faith.
How are Christian families dealing with this? Every member is responsible for keeping the Faith and passing it on to “their” next generation. These sad reports should move us to understand the reasons why children abandon the faith so that we can act accordingly.
Lack of In-house Teaching
Children are to grow up learning about God and experiencing Him primarily in the home. Parents should not expect the church to do all the teaching and rearing for them. Deuteronomy chapter 6:7 commands parents to “teach and impress them diligently upon the [minds and] hearts of your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up.” Children must grow up in a home where God and His Words are naturally part of the conversations that take place.
Lack of Modeling
Modeling is essential. Learning impact is high when someone demonstrates the lessons for us. Children need to see evidence of truth and effectiveness. They must witness that God’s Word is indeed reliable and relevant. They must witness that God is real, that He is at work. They must sense that God is not just in the Book, but that He translates into everyday life. Parents can never be perfect. But, they can be perfect examples of how God and His grace can sustain and bless a child that is passionate about Him. There is no expectation to be right all the time. But there is every expectation to be authentic. The goal is to pave and demonstrate the path to genuine godly living so our children will have a definite route to follow.
Lack of Love
The home should always be a place of acceptance and support. It is where 1 Corinthians 13 must be practiced at all times. Family members must learn to be loving and patient with one another. The home should always be a place of honesty and training for righteousness. Judging wrong deeds and correcting errors are a must. Sin must never be tolerated nor encouraged. Forgiveness must come easy and resentment should never have a place in the home. Families must learn to deal with wrongdoing and be done with it. Parents should never over-expect from their children and children should never over-expect from their parents. We all make mistakes. We are all in need of God’s grace. We are all dependent on Christ to transform us on a daily basis.
Let God and His Words be in our daily conversations. Let our home be the place where Biblical principles are learned and practiced. And let “right” love be shared unconditionally. When God is relevant and when children realize that He matters, they will understand the reason and need for faith. And, we may yet see God-seekers in generations to come.
What Is The The Holy Spirit?
The Holy Spirit is the most highlighted and the most overlooked (and misunderstood) Person of the Trinity in our churches today. Often, how Christians perceive the Holy Spirit influences the way they do life and ministry. You may have had the experience of visiting one church for Sunday worship and it felt like the atmosphere was so serious that you had no clue if the people were sad, in mourning, tired or just plain bored. Likewise, you may have had another experience of visiting one church where it felt as if everything was out of control; the preacher was short of shouting in your ears and the people around you couldn’t stay still and silent for a minute. In the first, you see powerlessness; in the second, chaos.
I heard one pastor say that “The Holy Spirit is not a showman or an out of mess force that brings craze into meetings”. That is so true. Scriptures tell us that the Holy Spirit is in us, working alongside us, guiding us into all truth and into all that God has for us. He is God, bringing order and direction into our lives. He is also:
1. Our Most Competent Prayer Partner.
It’s a great blessing to have a buddy you can count on to pray for you and with you, to have someone you can text or call for a quick prayer item. But at times there are things happening in our lives that are difficult to share.
Do you know that the Holy Spirit is there for us instantly and at all times? And even when we couldn’t find the exact words to explain how we feel, when we’ve lost all sense of praying and seeking God as we should, He knows exactly what’s going on and what we truly need? The Bible assures us that the Holy Spirit “comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness. And when we do not know what to pray for, He makes right prayers for us.
“He pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.”
We can count on the Holy Spirit to offer intelligent prayers to God the Father for us.
2. Our Life Aide.
Successful politicians or public servants will always have the best political aides behind them. A political aide works full time. He helps his boss navigate his political duties. He makes the speeches and issues press releases. He conducts informational research vital to strategy and decision-making. He prepares his boss for debates and other issues and defends him in times of criticism. He is essential to the politician’s career and overall job performance. The political aide is always at the politician’s side.
Do you know that the Holy Spirit is exactly like that and more? He is our Life Aide. He helps us navigate our life and duties. Scriptures call Him “parakltos“ meaning, “called to one’s aid”. From John 14:26 we know that He teaches and reminds us of all things God has revealed to us from His Word. In Luke 12:11-12 we learn that in times of conflict, the Holy Spirit will teach us what we ought to say. He is ever at our side.
3. Our Champion Who Never Disappoints.
While we have special people we can lean on for forever, like us, they have limits. They aren’t always able to carry our burden with us or for us. But the Holy Spirit is our constant and consistent champion. Like the character of Achilles in the film, Troy, we can count on Him to do and win battles with us and for us.
Acts 1:8 teaches us that the Holy Spirit is our power, our enabler. He is our efficiency and might. He sustains us for everything God has called us to do and accomplish. From 2 Timothy 1:7 we understand that “God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but of power and of love and of sound mind”. He gave us His very self in the person of the Holy Spirit and He will never disappoint.
In the American medical drama TV series titled, “Grey’s Anatomy”, a character named Dr Cristina Yang introduces us to the term, “My Person”. One of her explanations about the meaning of this term (and I quote) is, “She’s my person. If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She’s my person.”
“My person” is the one you straightway go to for anything and everything; the person that enables and sustains you for everything you do. “My Person” is always there for you, with you, for life.
The Holy Spirit is “Your Person”. He brings certainty, He brings steadiness. He is Power who is reliably at work. He is The One who’s forever got your back and much more!
