Neither Joe or Willy are having an affair. But one of them has found a new object of affection, which has become a new companion and inspires a surprising amount of jealousy among her spouse – its the new relationship buster: the smartphone. “It helps me wake up,” she said.
“Experts say that smartphone use is meddling in our marriages in ways that are sometimes benign, and often forcing couples to address an ever more important question: At what point are we choosing to spend more time with our smartphones than with our spouses? (Christian Marriages, Too)”
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the warmth and intimacy of marriages are ebbing away with a culture of dings, beeps and buzzes as most people manage everything from bank accounts to fantasy football teams on mobile phone devices.
It’s almost at pandemic levels now. Married or not, most of us sleep with our phones right next to us, pocket them as we go from place to place and think nothing of using them whether our partners are talking or not.
“Therapists say that when a marriage hits a rocky patch, they’ve seen one or both partners hide behind their phones.”
If you’re still reading this article then we can safely assume you know what we’re talking about. The US divorce rate hovers at 40 per cent, but that’s not the whole story. Many sound relationships are on life support. According to a survey by the National Opinion Research Centre.
You’d think this problem would exist only outside the church, wrong.
Pope Francis says most marriages today are ‘invalid’ because couples don’t go into them with the right intentions. This is a disaster for the Church much less society as a whole.
“When a Christian marriage unravels, many questions rise to the surface.”
It’s a shame that most of our relationships are in shambles. However, its time to put down the Smartphone and save your marriage. But how?
1. The first year of marriage is hard…really hard.
In an increasingly individualistic, “me” culture, weddings create a potentially dangerous situation for a newlywed Christian couple. If you are empty, broken, or insecure, and you believe a spouse is the silver bullet to your a problems…buckle up. The marriage will be bumpy-ride.
Don’t buy the wedding day lie. Marriage is not about you. Take this as a warning…the first year of marriage is difficult and you will never be able to enjoy the beauty of marriage if your spouse’s job is to complete you.
In Saudi Arabia, a newlywed husband filied for divorce after his wife stopped his attempts at consummation to reply to wedding messages. Whiles this is simply over the top. Yes, it can be partially about not texting on your wedding night!
We know marriage is hard, but walking away from it will have a lasting impact. Marry a Christian, yes. But maybe go even further and marry somebody with similar passions and dreams.
2. Prioritize Your Partner Over Your Phone
“Marital bliss is fictional, but marital happiness can be a reality.”
This is an obvious point, but it’s still one that most people tend to disregard. Sex is a gift from God. So explore It. Make no mistake…God created sex. But through the years, God’s people allowed Satan to steal this gift. Without a fight.
God created sex. If your married, here’s a challenge. Explore sex. Explore the fullness of it and pray for sexual intimacy with your spouse.
3. There is more than one person out there for you.
Marriage is a huge choice, and so is divorce. Soul mates are made…not born. We are not sure where this idea of a soul mate originated, but it is false. Maintaining a healthy relationship is more about commitment than perfection. Marriages are complex – they’re filled with compromise, balancing expectations and maintaining a foundation built on trust. A successful marriage is one where you serve your spouse and both of you serve God. You see the closer you get to God the closer you will be to each other.
“The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married ” – (John Fischer).