Don’t Give Up On Your Dreams

Have you ever been passionate about a dream or vision, only to have it never come to pass? Scripture tells us that God has an appointed time to fulfil the visions, dreams and desires He has placed in our heart. Just because it has taken a long time, or you’ve tried and not succeeded, doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen.

Don’t give up on those dreams! Don’t be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart. God is a faithful God. No matter how long it’s been, no matter how impossible things seem, if you’ll stay in faith, your God appointed time is coming. Hallelujah! Remember, every dream that’s in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God put it in there. And not only that, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. 

Today, hold on to your vision or dream by declaring, “my time is coming. God is working things out on my behalf. I will fulfill my destiny!” As you continue to hold on to that vision and daily speak life over your dreams, you’ll see them begin to take shape. You’ll see your faith grow, you’ll see your hope strengthen, and you’ll see yourself step into the destiny God has prepared for you at the appointed time!

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time”¦though it tarry, wait for it”¦”(HABAKKUK 2:3, KJV)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, I receive Your truth today. I receive Your promises. Father, ignite my visions and dreams with Your holy fire, so that I can pursue Your perfect plan for my life. Make my thoughts and words agreeable to Your will. God, give me the faith I need to hold on when life’s failures seem to get me down and rob me of purpose, in Jesus’ Name! Amen.

Fear Is A Trap Of The Enemy

How to Deal with Chronic Fear and Anxiety

Fear has gripped our world, our churches, our schools and our families. Fear robs relationship and fellowship. Fear is one of the enemy’s favourite tools to keep us from going forward. As soon as we make a decision to step out in faith, immediately, the enemy will bring fear to stop us. He’ll put negative doubting thoughts in our mind like, “What if I fail? What will others think? Maybe I don’t have what it takes.” He’ll do his best to use fear to try to convince us to shrink back and just stay right where we are. He is a liar! 

Did you know the Bible says that fear is a spirit. It affects your emotions and can govern your feelings. But when you choose to put your trust in the Lord, no matter how you are feeling, you will combat fear. Hallelujah! 

Today, do not allow fear to trap you and hold you back. Instead, take a step of faith knowing that God is on your side. He is for you and with you, leading and guiding you in the path of victory all the days of your life. 

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”
(Proverbs 29:25, NIV) 

Let’s Pray 

Yahweh, I’m trusting You. I have decided to press forward in faith, so I can overcome the negative spirit of fear. God, I trust that You have my best interests at heart, and I know that You are leading me in the paths of righteousness all the days of my life, in Christ’s Name! Amen. 

I’m Restored

God wants to restore everything that’s been stolen from your life. He wants to restore your joy, your peace, your health and your finances. We serve a God of restoration! You may have had some disappointments or unfair things happen in your life; but don’t dwell on the past and live in defeat.  

Restoration comes by intentionally choosing to focus on His promises like today’s verse. Here’s the key: you have to believe you can be restored and have that vision printed in the forefront of your mind. You have to get your hopes up and decide to get your thoughts and words in sync, going in the right positive direction. 

Today, choose to focus on the future and release past hurts through forgiveness. Draw a line in the sand and say, “I am a child of the Most High God, and I’m not going to live my life negative and defeated. This is a new day, and I’m taking back what belongs to me. I will have  a restoration mentality!”

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” (Joel 2:25, ESV) 

Let’s Pray
Yahweh, thank You for restoring my life. Father, thank You for the truth of Your Word that sets me free. Almighty God, fill me with Your power right now, so that I can stand strong and move forward on the path You have for me, in Christ’s Name! Amen.  

Your Time Is Coming

God knows the desires of your heart. God has an appointed time to fulfil the dreams and desires based upon His will and purpose for your life. Just because it has taken a long time, or because you’ve tried and failed, doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. Don’t give up on those dreams! Don’t be complacent about pursuing what God has deposited into your heart. God is faithful. No matter how long it’s been, no matter how impossible things look, if you’ll stay in faith, your time is coming. 

Don’t forget every positive dream that’s in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God put it there. Not only that, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. Declare today by faith, “my time is coming. God is working on my behalf. I will fulfil my destiny!”  

Today, as you continue to hold on to your God-given vision and speak life over your dreams and desires, it won’t be long before you will see them begin to take shape. You’ll see your faith grow, you’ll see your hope strengthen, and you’ll see yourself step into the destiny God has prepared for you! Hallelujah!

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time…though it tarry, wait for it…” 

(Habakkuk 2:3, KJV) 

Let’s Pray 

Yahweh, I receive Your Word today. Father, I wait patiently for the fulfilment of my dreams and desires. Ignite my heart with Your holy fire, so that I can pursue Your perfect plan for my life. Almighty God, make my thoughts and words agreeable to Your Word and Your will, so I can see my dreams come to pass sooner rather than later, in Christ’s Name! Amen.  

He Will Make Your Wrongs Right

Beyond Your Ability Is Right Where God Wants You

Have you ever been through a challenge that has brought you to tears? It seems like God doesn’t care, or that you are no longer important to Him? But He does care and you are important to Him. He cares so much about every detail of your life. He cares about your thoughts, feelings and emotions. In fact, what you are going through is so important to Him that He records every sorrow and collects every tear you’ve shed.  

You may ask why would God record your sorrows and collect your tears? Because He loves you so much, and He is your vindicator. He’s keeping account of every wrong that’s ever been done to you, so that He can make up for every single one of them. He wants to restore everything that has ever been stolen. He wants to heal every single hurt and pain. He sees the longings and desires of your heart, and you can rest, knowing that He is working things out for your good! 

Today, you are valuable to Him. He has your best interests at heart. He is working to bring restoration and peace to you. Keep standing, keep believing, and keep doing the right thing, because the One who collects your tears will restore every broken place in your life! 

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (Psalm 56:8, NLT) 

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank You for loving me the way You do. Father, thank You for being my vindicator and the lifter up of my soul. God, I choose to release my tears, hurt, pain and sorrow, knowing that You will make all things new in Your time, in Jesus’ Name! Amen.  

Catch The Little Foxes

How to Stand With God Through the Storms of Life

It’s been said, “tornados and hurricanes get more news coverage; but in reality, termites do more damage.” Most often, it’s not the big things that happen in life that keep us from being happy; it’s the small things. Most of the time, we’re not dealing with some major crisis like losing a job, a life-threatening illness, or a relationship breaking up. The big things are rare.  

That’s what today’s scripture is saying. It’s the little inconveniences – like not being able to find your car keys, or being in a hurry and getting behind a slow driver. It’s the little interruptions and frustrations that get our emotions worked up and cause us to lose our joy and peace.  

Today, take note, it’s the way we handle the little things that will determine what kind of life we live. When we allow negative thoughts of frustration to come in, we are allowing the little foxes to spoil the vines as the scripture says. Make the decision today to “catch” those foxes by choosing to think on the positive things. Let His Word bring light and life to your emotions, so you can move forward in peace and joy each and every day! 

“Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines…” (Song of Solomon 2:15, NKJV) 

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, today I submit my mind, will and emotions to You. Father, I will focus on Your Word, and not allow the little foxes (the little things) to steal my joy and peace. God, keep me close to You and guide me through life’s frustration, and show me the way I should go, in Christ’s Name! Amen. 

Emotions

What Type of Christian Are You?

Did you know that emotions are God-given? If there’s one thing that can lead you away from your potential, and seeing the awesome plan God has for your life, it’s your emotions. Too often, people allow their circumstances to dictate their emotions and thoughts, instead of the Word of God. 

When we allow our circumstances to dictate our emotions, when we are moved by what we see, or experience, it opens the door for doubt and anxiety to come in. When we allow doubt and anxiety in, we become unstable. We are tossed back and forth. Understand this key: the way you feel today has little to do with what God is actually doing in your life. He’s working behind the scenes whether you realise it or not!  

Today, don’t allow yourself to be tossed around by your emotions any longer. Instead, choose to be stable minded and not anxious by focusing your thoughts on the Word of God. Stand strong in Him so you can confidently embrace the plan He has for you! 

“But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” (James 1:6, NIV) 

Let’s Pray
Yahweh, thank You for Your Word which dispels all my doubts and anxiety. Father, I will meditate on Your truth which has become my source of strength and faith. Almighty God, help me to be stable minded, as I set my focus on You. In Christ’s Name! Amen. 

Societal enables people to connect with one another online through this time of international crisis

Societal is inspired by a passion for all things creative

We’re living through a time of international crisis. Our systems are falling apart, we’re being separated from friends and loved ones, frightened and unsure as to how life may be about to unfold. “Reality” seems to stagger from one disturbing scenario to another. Information and advice keep changing – nothing holds fast, but the idea that everything is going dreadfully wrong. But if there is a silver lining in this crisis, it could be that the virus is forcing us to use the internet as it was always meant to be used – to connect with one another, share information and come up with collective solutions to vital problems.

Launched in March 2020, Societal’s (https://societal.co/) sole purpose is to connect people and allow people to share their thoughts with a big audience.

Societal website administrator Dean Jones a former Central St Martins College of Art & Design postgraduate said, ‘One of the most disastrous months in the history of global medicine and global economics has ended with country after country retreating into their national silos. They are fighting their own individual battles against coronavirus and in their own way, but we must work together. Like it or not the Coronavirus Crisis is showing us how to live online and hopefully Societal can help people with that.’

The new Social Network follows a UK government announcement that everyone should only go outside for food, health reasons or work (where this absolutely cannot be done from home).

Jones hopes his digital platform will help create connections, not conflict in this time of uncertainty.

Jones said further ‘As we isolate ourselves at home to protect our health and our neighbours, we still need each other. Societal means that even in this time when we are physically apart, we can still connect with our friends.”

The Core Principles of Societal are-

  • Respect.
  • Justice/Fairness.
  • Honesty.
  • Service/Giving Back/Contribution.
  • Responsibility.
  • Family.
  • Community.

Societal is trying to shift the paradigm. In a web full of pseudo thought-leaders, Societal promises to be place that people from all walks of life can rely on and cater to those looking for fresh, new, authentic voices and believe wholeheartedly in community. Societal offers free accounts and doesn’t serve ads.

Jones has launched a kickstarter page in order to support this worthwhile project https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/deanjones/societal

Press release distributed by Pressat on behalf of Societal, on Thursday 26 March, 2020. For more information follow https://pressat.co.uk/

Real Talk: Postcode gangs

The notion of so-called postcode wars may have slipped from the headlines recently but the territorial divisions continue to exert a powerful influence on the lives of thousands of young Londoners. 

This lady gives her thoughts on Knife Crime in the UK. We salute this woman for speaking out! The passion in her voice is intense.

Guns, Gangs and Postcode Wars 

The youth culture seems to be falling apart at the moment. We’ve seen a real sea change over the past few years, with a significant increase in the number of people who have been injured, in the number of injuries sustained per person, and the severity of those injuries.

The more deprived the area, the more they try to assert control over the one thing they can lay claim to: the streets. Concepts such as hood passes and stripes may seem alien to anyone over 21 but are considered normal by an entire generation. 

Politicians need to get their act together and pour money into this right now. Tomorrow is too late. Parents also need to take responsibility.

Gang-related organised crime in the United Kingdom is concentrated around the cities of London, Manchester and Liverpool and regionally across the West Midlands region, south coast and northern England, according to the Serious Organised Crime Agency. With regards to street gangs the cities identified as having the most serious gang problems, which also accounted for 65% of firearm homicides in England and Wales, were London, Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool. Glasgow in Scotland also has a historical gang culture with the city having as many teenage gangs as London, which had six times the population, in 2008.

In the early part of the 20th century, the cities of LeedsBristolBradford (including Keighley) and Nottingham all commanded headlines pertaining to street gangs and suffered their share of high-profile firearms murders. Sheffield, which has a long history of gangs traced back to the 1920s in the book “The Sheffield Gang Wars”, along with Leicester is one of numerous urban centres seen to have an emerging or re-emerging gang problem.

On 28 November 2007, a major offensive against gun crime by gangs in Birmingham, Liverpool, London and Manchester led to 118 arrests. More than 1,000 police officers were involved in the raids. Not all of the 118 arrests were gun related; others were linked to drugs, prostitution and other crimes. Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said it showed the police could “fight back against gangs”.

THE WORDS ON OUR STREETS
Irrespective of who uses it and for what purpose, street slang is constantly evolving. Words in common parlance five years ago like “buff” (good-looking) are now deemed antediluvian, replaced by newer terms such as “chug”, “peak” and “wavey”. “Skadoosh”, a personal favourite, is a relative newcomer. 

Bang – punch
Bare – a lot
Bate – obvious
Blud – friend
Booky – suspicious
Butters – ugly
Chug – good-looking
Dutty – nasty
Fam – friends
Gallis – womaniser
Gased – talking nonsense
Gem – fool
Ghost – to be frequently absent
Greezy – bad
Junge – whore
Liccle – small
Marga – extremely skinny
Moist – no ratings, silly, naff
Murk – attack
Nang – good
Peak – used to highlight an eventful situation
Peng – good-looking
Shank – stab
Shower – cool, good
Skadoosh – goodbye
Skettel – loose woman
Slipping – to be caught off-guard
Swag – crap
Tekkers – technique
Wallad – idiot
Wavey – high or drunk

I’m White, Privileged With a Message on Racism That The World Is Missing

Racism is a pretty controversial topic, especially in the world we live in today. Among Christians, things can get especially dicey, as the rest of the world’s eyes are just staring and waiting for us to make a mistake.

Remember in Matthew 22:39 when Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself?” Right there, the Bible is directly telling us that to loathe someone based solely on the color of their skin, is a sin. But I didn’t always understand that.

It’s easier to admit to sin when everybody else has done it, but here I am today doing something that’s far from easy; I struggled to love my neighbor as myself. It wasn’t how I was raised, but the environments I was around in every single job situation planted seeds of hate into my heart. I pushed away when God started to deal with me about it. I’d say things like, “I’m not racist. I have diversity in my life. I’m not a hater.”

Yet all the while, I wouldn’t speak up when my coworkers at a freelance writing gig would tell racist jokes, sometimes I’d even play along just because “everybody else was doing it.” I worked for almost eight months for an internet political publication; an environment that was toxic waste disguised as candy. Some of the articles I was assigned to write were satirical and entertaining, but then there was a vast majority that I was told to write, that made ugly and cringy remarks about other races, cultures, and people in general in ways I wasn’t comfortable doing. But like an idiot, I didn’t refuse to do the work; I played along in hopes of gaining everybody’s favor.

After a while, all the jokes and satirical remarks started to become more than just horseplay; I started to really believe the things I was being told and dwelled on how much I didn’t like people who weren’t like me. Still, when God would deal with me about it, I would shove it off and say that “I just wasn’t like that.” That it was all fun and games. I was living a lie.

Eventually, the publication went out of business, and I went on to pursue other writing opportunities. I was upset at the time, but now I thank God that he took me away from all that stress.

It was at a church conference that God started to deal with me again. I realized that though I wasn’t as “extreme” as people you might see online, I was enabling it, writing and promoting it, and thinking those thoughts. God told me that he did not call me to be a hater, and during the altar call I ran, fell to my knees and poured my heart out to Him and told him how sorry I was. I know that He has forgiven me, and restored me to a place of love rather than hate.

I’m telling you all of this because I know I’m not the only one who has struggled in this area. I didn’t like the person I let the world turn me into, and God didn’t either. God has commanded us to love, not hate.

Today I am not the same person I was when I began my pursuit of writing. God took away the ugly sin and created a beautiful testimony; one that I will not shy away from. Am I ashamed of all the ugly things I published during my first writing gig? Absolutely. But it is a reminder of who I was before God totally transformed my mindset. I am no longer addicted to outrage, hatred is not in my heart; instead, God’s love has completely and totally transformed me.

God wants to deal with you about some stuff too; stuff that may not necessarily be easy to admit to yourself that you’ve done. But once you’re honest with both yourself and God, and ask for His forgiveness, it will radically change your life.

5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

Living in an over-sexualized culture, we hear messages about sex, wrong messages.   These messages become more a part of us than God’s truth because we hear them repetitively and churches are scared to address sexuality.

For too long, I believed the world’s message about sex.   That it’s a superficial, feel-good avenue to self-satisfaction.   Wrong, partly.   God did design sex to feel good!

But, there is more than that.   He designed it for profound spiritual, physical, and emotional connection.   It is just a shadow of things to come.

God’s design of sex is too amazing to keep silent about.

Here are five truths about God’s design of sex in marriage.

God designed sex to be bonding.

Not only spiritually bonding, but emotionally and physically.   When the two become one flesh, biochemicals are released in our bodies like oxytocin and dopamine.   Oxytocin, especially, is a bonding chemical.   When I embraced this truth and started engaging in the marriage bed more, the tone of our marriage completely changed.

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24 (NIV).

God designed sex for both husband and wife to experience pleasure.

It’s an equal opportunity activity.   Why else would there be a clitoris?   It’s only function is for pleasure.   The Song of Solomon is full of beautiful poetic language about the pleasures of physical love for both spouses.

If one spouse struggles with the ultimate moment, there are Christian resources available to help the couple understand how to achieve mutual enjoyment.

“The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved,” Song of Solomon 7:13 (NIV).

God designed sex so that we would know yearning.

Before you were married, you yearned for your fianc.   Not only did you crave your fiance’s touch, you craved his/her presence and knowing him/her better.  Even after years of marriage, it is good to remember this yearning.  It mirrors how God desires us to yearn for him.   I believe this is one reason he frequently uses the marriage as a symbol of his relationship with us throughout the Bible.

“Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?” James 4:5 (NIV).

God designed the marriage bed to be a place to show the fruit of the Spirit.

Peace, patience, love, joy, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control are the foundation of all Christian life, especially the marriage bed.   All conflict surrounding the marriage bed can be managed through employing these key traits.

My own marriage endured a long season of mismatched sex drives.   It was through these qualities and some wise communication tools that we overcame our conflict.

God designed sex as a powerful mystery.

Biblical stories of sex often confused me when I was young.   There was some nasty stuff in the old testament, the rape of Dinah, Lot and his daughters, the men of Gibeah  clammering for the male visitor, Leviticus 20.   And yet, there is the beautiful Song of Solomon.   The New Testament seemed to prefer celibacy, to be honest.   As a teenager, I couldn’t understand why I liked thinking about sex if it was disgraceful and violent.

But, as an adult, I realized the stories were teaching me that sexual intimacy is powerful and mysterious.   It’s OK not to have it all figured out, as long as you respect the power it holds to do good when it is aligned with God’s perfect design.

“For my thoughts  are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the  Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways  and my thoughts than your thoughts,” Isaiah 55:8-9.

Final Thoughts

Don’t let the world’s message of cheap sex destroy the meaningful sex in your marriage.   Sex may only be a small portion of the whole of your marriage.   However, sex matters.   It especially matters if one spouse is more interested than the other.   When we ignore its power and importance in marriage, the relationship suffers.

Now, granted chronic health issues can affect sexual function and that’s a more complicated story.

 

What Does #MeToo: Stories of Sexual Abuse, Harassment Have to Do with You?

How to cope with a mis-sold job

There is a concept that some in the field of neuroscience call “increased integration.” Apparently, when someone tells his or her story and is truly heard and understood they feel a greater sense of emotional and relational connection, decreased anxiety, and a greater awareness of and compassion for others’ suffering.

In recent months the #MeToo  has spread virally as a two-word hashtag used on social media in October 2017  by women around the world who shared their experiences of sexual harassment and assault on social media.

The allegations of sexual assault and rape against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein also saw tens of thousands of people taking to social media to share their stories using the hashtag, ‘#MeToo’. Additionally, an assertion that being “touched upon the metro” should be a “non-event” also provoked fury.

“There is a line, obviously, between [sexual] desire and realization, and some cross it and some don’t.”

Thanks to women coming forward to tell their stories about being raped, fondled or harassed by men, we can now see the prevalence of this practice.

The tweets show that people of all ages, genders, backgrounds and sexual orientations are vulnerable to sexual violence.  The perpetrators also ranged in age, background, and ethnicity.

So what could possibly be fueling this upsurge in harassment?

Perhaps the breakdown of morality, lack of a spiritual life and old-fashioned selfishness. But is that all there is? There have been men who exhibit high morals who have harassed women. There have also been Pastors who have done the same.

So what is the common denominator?

Pornography!

The Internet is really really great”¦ FOR PORN!
I’ve got a fast connection so I don’t have to wait”¦ FOR PORN!
There’s always some new site”¦ FOR PORN!
I browse all day and night”¦ FOR PORN!
It’s like I’m surfing at the speed of light”¦ FOR PORN!
The Internet is for porn!
The Internet is for porn!
Why you think the net was born?
Porn! Porn! PORN!

In 2003, these lyrics were heard on the Broadway stage courtesy of Jeff Marx, Robert Lopez and the puppets of musical show  Avenue Q. It would quickly become a famous Internet meme and catchphrase. But why?

In the last 30 years, pornography has grown to be a multi-billion dollar a year industry. Today’s children live in a digital world that has embraced sexuality. Images of sex abound on the internet, and are freely accessible to children with the simple click of a computer button, or by downloading an image on a cell phone.

Pornography is not just something a few men view in the late hours in the privacy of their homes.

According to recent statistics at least 70 percent of porn is downloaded during work hours (9 am to 5 pm).

The wages of sin are enormous when pornography is involved.

“The societal costs of pornography are staggering. The financial cost to business productivity in the U.S. alone is estimated at $16.9 Billion annually ; but the human toll, particularly among our youth and in our families, is far greater.”

I heard from a young woman the other day who didn’t get why I was anti-porn. “It’s a great way for my fianc, to meet his needs when I’m not in the mood. I don’t want him to keep bugging me if I’m not into it that night. And he shouldn’t just have to ‘deal’ with frustration, either.”  

So What’s Not to Love About Porn?

Well, Patrick F. Fagan, Ph.D, psychologist and former Deputy Assistant Health and Human Services Secretary research states that pornography hurts adults, children, couples, families, and society. It also states that among adolescents, pornography hinders the development of a healthy sexuality, and among adults, it distorts sexual attitudes and social realities. In families, pornography use leads to marital dissatisfaction, infidelity, separation, and divorce.

The average age when a man is first exposed to pornography is at 11 years of age and the largest consumers of porn are 12 to 17-year old’s. Victor Cline, a psychologist, documented how men become addicted to pornographic materials, then begin to desire more explicit or deviant material, and finally act out what they have seen.

He maintained “that memories of experiences that occurred at times of emotional arousal (which could include sexual arousal) are imprinted on the brain by epinephrine, an adrenal gland hormone, and are difficult to erase. This may partly explain pornography’s addicting effect.”

The next step is escalation. Previous sexual highs become more difficult to attain; therefore users of pornography begin to look for more exotic forms of sexual behavior to bring them stimulation and so on.

A Biblical Perspective?

God created men and women in His image (Gen. 1:27) as sexual beings. But because of sin in the world (Rom. 3:23), sex has been misused and abused (Rom. 1:24-25). The act of sex was originally meant to bring a husband and wife into a close, intimate relationship that only they could share. Pornography attacks the dignity of men and women created in the image of God. Pornography also distorts God’s gift of sex which should be shared only within the bounds of marriage (1 Cor. 7:2-3). After years of watching it, consciences become  smeared and he or she can no longer see what is right and wrong. – Timothy 4:2

Are You Addicted?

Some of you reading this may have already developed an addiction to porn. If you see any of the patterns I’ve described above in your life, you need to put the brakes on right now. Is porn beginning to control your life? You can’t put it down — you keep going back for more? Perhaps you find yourself needing to see increasingly graphic pornography. You’re starting to take risks or act out physically for sexual thrills.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”¦” Romans 12:2

The Bible also warns against the misuse of sex. Premarital and extramarital sex is condemned (1 Cor. 6:13-18; 1 Thess. 4:3). Even thoughts of sexual immorality (often fed by pornographic material) are condemned (Matt. 5:27-28). Christians, therefore, must do two things. First, they must work to keep themselves pure by fleeing immorality (1 Cor. 6:18) and thinking on those things which are pure (Phil. 4:8).

General pornography stats

  • Every second 28,258 users are watching pornography on the internet
  • Every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography on the internet
  • Every second 372 people are typing the word “adult” into search engines
  • 40 million American people regularly visit porn sites
  • 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography
  • 25% of all search engine queries are related to pornography, or about 68 million search queries a day
  • One-third of porn viewers are women
  • Search engines get 116,000 queries every day related to child pornography
  • 34% of internet users have experienced unwanted exposure to pornographic content through ads, pop up ads, misdirected links or emails
  • 2.5 billion emails sent or received every day contain porn
  • Every 39 minutes a new pornography video is being created in the United States
  • About 200,000 Americans are “porn addicts”

Valerie Hughes co-wrote this post and is the founder of Sufficient Grace Ministries offering hope and healing to women who have been involved with a porn addiction. Her current book “When Porn Takes the Place of Love” tells of her journey of healing and includes a 10-part Bible Study.  

Disclaimer:  Fighting the stigma faced by sexual violence survivors is a crucial step in forcing the change referenced by Tamblyn. The “#MeToo” hashtag shows that more and more people are ready to share their stories and change the dialogue surrounding sexual violence.  The article attempts to shed light on one of the overlooked influences that help develop a man’s mindset on how they treat women.

How to Cope with a Mis-Sold Job

How to cope with a mis-sold job

Everyone knows a story about a smart and talented professional  who has lost his or her passion for a role, who no longer looks forward to going to the office yet remains stuck without a visible way out.  Getting on the career ladder is a great thing, you start off at the bottom and work your way up, but sometimes you can get stuck and do not even realize it.

“One in Five Employees Claim They Were Mis-sold Opportunities When They Joined Their Organisation – Kelly Global Workforce Index (Kgwi).”

Commenting on the findings,  Debbie Pettingill, Director, Kelly Services UK and Ireland said

“Employee retention will become an increasing challenge for employers as we move out of the recession. As we move into a more candidate driven market, this trend is likely to accelerate. Our findings indicate that this problem is being exacerbated by the misrepresentation of job role or company culture at the interview stage, leading to the dissatisfaction of new hires.”

Most of us know what we are trying to escape a “mis-sold” job  resulting in a  narrowly defined career, inauthentic or unstimulating work, numbing corporate politics, and  perhaps  blackmail including direct  threats of being used as a scapegoat. A job where you are both overlooked and underappreciated.  One may ring true for some of you.

“Fewer than Half of Uk Employees Are Happy with the Way Their Careers Are Progressing According to New British Research.”

Why Would A  Company or Person Block Your Move?

Well, this could be because of his or her personal insecurity  i.e. as the team works well, why rock the boat? Comfort zone: sometimes the team gets too comfortable? Golden child syndrome: you’re working your butt off and your sponsor or other senior  is reaping the recognition from your amazing deliverables?

Working a job you don’t like can leave you feeling stuck, forgotten by God, and asking yourself questions like:

Why hasn’t God opened another door for me yet?  

Why is God not moving?  

Why would God leave me here in this job I hate?

But the truth is God has not left you. He’s not holding back on you. When you feel God is silent, that’s exactly when He’s moving!  Your situation does not change God. He still loves you and is with you no matter what.

Instead of looking at our situation from a perspective of fear and worry, we need to look at it through faith and hope.

What Can You Do About it?

Don’t fret, you can handover your work or completely leave the organisation and still stay sane. You might worry that announcing your intentions will cause your company grief, but ultimately you have to do what’s best for you no matter what!

Think and pray long and hard about how you’re going to drop this bombshell  as you  will need  to give notice. A  sound method is required to overcome the assault and possible backlash – including of course more prayer and fasting.

So how are you going to approach it? What’s your reasoning going to be?  How are you going to get them to understand exactly why you’re doing this?  What do you need to do in order to prepare for the big day?

Easy, you’re going to read this guide.

Strategy 1 – Remote Working Arrangement

This could  be a great approach if 80% of your  work can be  undertaken  remotely. However, while there is a very logical argument to be made in favor of working from home, many people equate remote work to a lack of productivity and laziness. These people do not realize that the switch from an office to working from home can actually lead to significant increases in productivity.

Strategy 2 – What’s in It for Me?

What’s in it for me?   That question sounds a little selfish, doesn’t it?  Maybe you  aren’t being compensated fairly, or you’re not happy with the effort vs return.  When you know your client and team needs you and you’re willing to stay for a price, don’t mess around.  Give them the real number or offer that will make it worth your while to stick it out for awhile.

Strategy 3  –  The Budget Cut

The re-structuring.  The downsizing.  The dreaded budget cut.  Whatever name you want to give it, this  can be terrifying  for a lot of professionals.  However,  if you’re  already thinking about leaving, so maybe it doesn’t have to be such a scary thing.  In fact, maybe it can be  extremely  positive for both  parties.

Strategy 4  –  The Ease Out

Still feeling weary  about leaving the organization.  Propose easing yourself out of the post.  Pick a time frame, maybe four weeks or so, and come up with a plan for slowly taking yourself out of the position.  This also allows you some time to slowly ramp down your time commitment.

Strategy 5 –  Burning Bridges in the Industry  

“Sometimes it’s about networking and being nice to people and not burning any bridges – but remembering to draw line where you must.”

There’s no harm in an early exit from a job you never plan to mention again or an interim role where you have clearly agreed on a start and finish date.  But if your manager is well connected to your industry you should try to leave on a good note.  Why? Because it’s a small world and the next hiring manager may put in a call to his or her former colleague  (a.k.a., your new manager) to get the unofficial scoop.  It happens, so if you’re going to leave anyway then try to fulfill your end of the deal.

Strategy 6  – Get Moving Fast

Imagine, for example, that you were hired to help the company manage multiple programmes and projects  across the globe, but a recent change in leadership means all efforts moving forward will be focused locally.

If you’re spending your days just trying to find ways to be productive or are undertaking a role you never signed up for, you have every right to pursue new opportunities. Of course, the first course of action should normally be to  discuss this with your manager to see if there are other roles you can take on. But if you know that this isn’t going to happen in the new world, get moving fast.

Strategy 7  – Your Dream Job Awaits

“When you’re being interviewed, always treat the interview as a 50-50 thing,” says Andy Dallas, a director at Robert Half International, recruitment consultants. “Ask what you can expect to be doing in your first week, month and three months. Ask what a successful year looks like.”

Dream jobs don’t come every day. So, if you have a chance at yours, take it quickly  and congratulate yourself for being strong enough to leave when you were unhappy.

Strategy 8 – Remeber to Be Patient  

We will not always be in a job we desire. Maybe you are fresh out of school and are working a job that has nothing to do with the degree you just earned. Maybe you are in a situation where you are working at a job where you are overqualified, overworked, and fed up. Maybe, for the most part, you love your job but get discouraged by the mundane tasks that take up time from doing the aspects of your job you love most.    

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” – James 4:10 NIV

Here’s the thing: God will still use this season to grow, develop, and prepare you. Any season that humbles us is preparing us for what God has next.

Any thoughts to share?

5 Indicators You’ve Hired the Right Project Manager

5 Indicators You've Hired the Right Project Manager

The importance of hiring the right project manager cannot be overstated enough. Whenever senior managers are asked  to identify outstanding project managers, they almost always have a hard time doing so. What’s most concerning about this is that almost £2 trillion pounds  are spent on these projects across the globe, according to Gartner.

There is no doubt that it takes a lot of time and effort to become an outstanding project manager. This isn’t a job  for the faint hearted.

A great project manager has leadership traits that should be easily recognised in all   steps of the hiring process.

Things like psychometric testing and method certificates can only provide so much information on potential employees. To find  the best candidates for your position you need to  ask them real questions about their experience, such as how they dealt with and recovered from a failure; what methodologies they use to manage projects and deal with sponsors; or their creative process when coming up with original ideas for strong team building. An awesome project manager is able to answer these questions easily.

Successful project managers should have experience in dealing with both failures and successes to gain the skills they need to build a strong team that delivers results consistently.

Here are five strong indicators that the person you have hired as a project manager is likely to be successful in their new role:

You Can Catch More Flies with Honey than with Vinegar

1. People like them!

Project managers who are difficult to get along with or have unlikeable personalities are not likely to be great motivators. Awesome project managers aren’t afraid to listen to the ideas and feedback of their team members for the best overall results.

They should be friendly and have respect for everyone they are working with at all times.

2. They don’t blame others nor take credit for successes.

It can be hard not to get involved in the “blame game” when something doesn’t go exactly as planned. It can be equally as challenging to not “glory grab” when a project goes off brilliantly and without a hitch.

A strong project manager will shield their team when criticism is raining down by passing the message down in a constructive way, so it can be addressed and fixed promptly. In the event of a project success, great project managers make sure the people who were key to the assignment are rewarded for their work. When they speak of a successful project, they highlight the strength of their team and not just themselves.

3. They involve the entire team in planning.

A great plan is usually always the result of a “mastermind”, or the combined effort of one or more people working towards a common goal. Strong project managers encourage everyone on the team to contribute their thoughts and feedback in the planning process. While not everyone will be actively contributing to the campaign design, they listen to the opinions and ideas of people who the project will affect, such as the CEO, and the marketing department.

A strong project manager should foster a productive, creative and enjoyable work environment. By doing so, they maximise the time they work with their team so they deliver a great end product.

4. They’re serious team builders.

A great project manager understands that a major key to their project success is the team that stands behind it. Successful project managers take the time to select from the talent that is best suited for the job they need to complete. Instead of settling for just anyone who can join the team because they’re free, a skilled project manager is willing to do what it takes to onboard and recruit the people they think will bring the most to the table.

5. They’re strong managers.

A strong manager knows how to take the lead. They understand what it takes to lead their team. They know how to motivate those working with them. They realize that they are a part of something greater. They’re not afraid to take responsibility for all aspects of the project, regardless of whether it’s failure or success.

As a project director  or hiring manager, it can be a challenge to find a powerful project manager, but once you connect with the right person, you’ll know it almost instantly. A strong project manager absolutely loves what they do and they’re not afraid to tell you about how excited they are about their past, present and future endeavours.

They strive to be the best leaders and always respect the ideas and positions of others who present them with questions that need solutions. They go the extra mile to make sure that all details of their projects are addressed and fine tuned. They speak positively of their peers, their team and anyone else who is involved in the project.

What are your thoughts on what makes a project manager shine? What do you think makes the cut between being an average project manager and an awesome project manager? We  invite you to share your thoughts and experience.

6 Project Management Taboos Christian Project Leaders Should Break

6 Project Management Taboos You Should Break

The lack of project management training or experience of many Christian leaders can be an enormous stress factor for them. Whilst natural organizational ability is enormously helpful, in itself it is no guarantee of any project being both successful and low stress.

A taboo is an activity that is forbidden or sacred based on religious beliefs or morals. Breaking a taboo is extremely objectionable in society as a whole. We have  isolated six  project management taboos that are common in PM discussions.

The upside of understanding and acting on  these most common project management taboos  is tremendous. Not only will your project success rate increase, you’ll also improve satisfaction among internal customers.

1. ‘The customer is always right’ is wrong

The project  sponsor is a role in project management, usually the senior member of the project board and often the chair. The project sponsor will often be a senior executive in a corporation who is responsible to  the  business for the success of the project.

However, project  sponsors are people, and they can be wrong. This taboo prevents project managers  from openly examining the actions of senior individuals  in power. In its more stringent form, this taboo can even convert “lessons learned” activities into simple exercises in fawning praise for the vision of our leaders. When we cannot question the actions of the powerful, the organization  can have difficulty finding its way out of trouble. This problem is most severe when the actions (or failure to act) of an Executive sponsor  in power is the issue.

Ignoring a Problem Is, Enabling the Problem

2. ‘Ignore your problems and they will go away‘  

The perfect employee. The perfect manager. The perfect workplace. Wouldn’t it be nice if that existed?  When it comes to managing people, one of the best things we can do is to realize that nothing will ever be perfect. There will always be problems. It’s how we deal with them that matters the most,  so do not ignore them, because  they won’t miraculously go away. The problem only gets worse, frustration levels increase, productivity suffers  and  complacency will set in. They fester the longer you ignore them and ultimately compound the cost of the project.

You aren’t fooling anyone, people know when there is a problem! Occasionally things can get better by themselves, however,  the majority of the time this doesn’t happen.

If you do something wrong, it’s about how well you fix it,” says GlassHouse Technologies’ Scannell. “Most people batten down the hatches and close up shop. Understanding when you’re starting to fail and quickly being able to engage as many stakeholders as possible to fix it is critical.”

Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers – Nice to Have or Necessity

3. Showing emotion is a sign of weakness

If only it were just about defining scope, creating a project plan and tracking costs.

Project Management obviously encompasses all those things, but it’s also about relationship development, team building, influencing, collaborating, and negotiating often in very complex environments.

In most workplace environments project managers  have difficulty showing feelings. Project managers  cannot even discuss them. It’s a pity — feelings are part of being human. When we can discuss feelings, we  can manage them, and we can use them as indicators of morale, future performance, or motivation. This project management taboo can limit the effectiveness of project retrospectives. In projects, strong feelings are common. They play an important role in determining project performance. Yet feelings are rarely discussed in project retrospectives, and this omission can prevent project managers  from truly understanding the evolution of the projects they are  supposedly managing and examining. However, whatever form a project takes there will always be people involved and where there are people there are emotions.Emotions influence people’s actions, their behaviors and their responses to the emotions of others. So welcome to the world of ‘emotional intelligence’.

The concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) was first popularised by Daniel Goleman in 1995 with his book, “Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ.”

Just Jump Through the Hoops, Don’t Try to Fix the World

4. Project Managers should play by the rules

Most organizations have processes that nearly everyone understands are outdated  and counterproductive, however,  when project managers dismiss  these processes, neglect to  model their costs to organizations, the outdated  processes are then very difficult to change.

Indeed, the taboo is part of the cultural infrastructure that enables these dysfunctional processes to persist. If project managers discuss them openly, they  might find that upgrading them could provide significant payback.

Keep Complaining! It’s Good for You!

5. Keep complaining! It’s good for you!

We’ve all know that rush of relief you feel as soon as you wrap up a major rant. This is  the national art and sport of the UK.  However, complaining is viral misery.  Back in 2006, an American pastor named Will Bowen launched a campaign he called “A Complaint Free World”. Drawing on the philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer, Alessandri pushes back against the assumption that complaining is only worthwhile if it gets concrete results; there’s no point in it, the received wisdom goes, if what you’re bemoaning is beyond your control.

Peace Is Not Absence of Conflict, It Is the Ability to Handle Conflict by Peaceful Means

6. You must  take sides in a  political conflict

Just keep neutral. It is possible to be respectful to (and respected by) your colleagues by staying neutral.  Politics are as old as civilization and have continued to be a source of fascination since Machiavelli wrote The Prince, a treatise on how to acquire and retain power, in the 16th century.

There are a lot more project management taboos that aren’t included listed here.  We are interested in your thoughts and suggestions?

 

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