The Dangers Of Sexual Sin

“I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare.”  (Ecclesiastes 7:26 NIV) Solomon most likely wrote the above verse from Ecclesiastes in his later years. Who better to write about the enslaving nature of sexual sin than the man who had hundreds of wives and concubines? The scripture tells us that Solomon’s love for foreign women eventually led to his plunge into idolatry. Chasing sex, he allowed these women to lead his heart astray: “his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God” (1 Kings 11:4 NIV).


In the verse above, the woman can be used metaphorically as sexual sin in general. As in the first few chapters of Proverbs, Solomon here also warns people to steer clear of sexual sin. Those who do not will be ensnared by it. Regardless of gender, sexual sin can enslave people when they give it an opportunity to do so. It is the type of slave master who does not release its victims once they are ensnared. It seeks to consume every area of the slave’s life.

Today, remember, God created us to have dominion over the earth and to subdue it. At the fall of Adam and Eve, the devil usurped man’s dominion and was given the power of death. When Jesus died and rose from the dead, he took dominion away from the devil. And now those who believe in Jesus rightfully inherit that dominion over the earth, the forces of evil and sin. Paul explained in Romans that we are not to allow sin to reign in our bodies. We have dominion over sin and have the freedom to use our bodies to please God.


…so use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.” Romans 6:13-14 (NLT)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank You for dying in my place on the cross and rising from the dead. Father, thank You for winning back dominion for us over evil, sin and death. God, help those of us that struggle with sexual sin, we confess all our sins to You and repent asking for Your total forgiveness, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

BE A CHANGE-MAKER

Matthew 11:11-12 I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist, yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it. (NIV)

When I was young, I could never understand that passage of Scripture. To me, it was so unlike the Spirit of the Lord. How could a God of love and peace allow this to happen? Forcefulness sounded so like the kingdom of darkness. But praise the Lord, for He is always faithful to show you the truth if you ask Him. So, why then is it, that this Scripture is there?

It all boils down to passion! You see if you are passionate about something there is nothing on this earth that will stop you from getting the thing you think about. The desire and the drive are so strong that oftentimes you will go without food and water in order to get it. It’s time to get hungry for the Lord and get your fight back and make a change.

Why do you not have the things you’re believing God for? Why is it that your life is not at the place you want it to be? Are you passionate about a change? Are you passionate to see your circumstances change? Or are you listening to the lie of Satan telling you, you need to sit and wait for your turn and accept everything that is given to you? Your turn is now! You don’t have to accept defeat because you are an overcomer. You were ordained to do great things. So, get up and make a change!

Joh 2:13-17 And the Jews’ passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem, And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables; And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father’s house an house of merchandise. And his disciples remembered that it was written, The zeal of thine house hath eaten me up.

Jesus was very passionate about the temple, and that passion drove Him to drive out the unclean things in His Father’s house. The Lord may have passed by that temple before; but today, the Lord had enough of their foolishness. He was the Change Maker, and He caused things to change.

Well, isn’t time you allow your passion to rise and cause a change to happen in your life? I want you to get passionate today and let that passion drive you. Allow the Lord to work in you and for you so that you can become a new creation in Him and let all these things standing in your way be blown away by the power of the Holy Spirit. By faith take back everything the enemy has stolen from you. It’s time to be a change-maker for the Lord.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 

5 tweets that help you help others on International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

5 tweets that help you help others on International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

“Sexual violence against women and girls is rooted in centuries of male domination. Let us not forget that the gender inequalities that fuel rape culture are essentially a question of power imbalances.”

UN Secretary-General António Guterres

The United Nations General Assembly has designated November 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (Resolution 54/134). The premise of the day is to raise awareness of the fact that women around the world are subject to rape, domestic violence and other forms of violence; furthermore, one of the aims of the day is to highlight that the scale and true nature of the issue is often hidden. For 2014, the official Theme framed by the UN Secretary-General’s campaign UNiTE to End Violence against Women, is Orange your Neighbourhood. For 2018, the official theme is “Orange the World:#HearMeToo” .

This year’s theme is “Orange the World: Generation Equality Stands Against Rape.” For the next two years, a campaign from the U.N. Secretary General will focus specifically on rape in its efforts to prevent and eliminate violence against women and girls. 

According to U.N. figures, one in three women and girls experience some form of physical or sexual violence in their lives. The U.N. estimates that approximately 15 million adolescent girls have experienced forced sex during their lifetimes. Based on its data from 30 countries, only 1 percent of these girls ever looked for professional help. 

“Too many of us fail to name or challenge the rape culture that surrounds us,” U.N. Women said in an statement about this year’s theme.  

U.N. Women encourages people to get directly involved in preventing sexual violence by learning about rape culture, listening to survivors, and talking about consent. 

For this year’s International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, here are some tweets that show you how to do exactly that. 

1. Stand up

https://twitter.com/WFP/status/1198952338939101184

2. Know the definition of consent as there is no excuse for sexual violence

https://twitter.com/UN_Women/status/1198928076966641664?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1198928076966641664&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmashable.com%2Farticle%2Fviolence-against-women-2019-united-nations%2F

3. Support survivors

https://twitter.com/europeaid/status/1198856273565044736

4. To feel safe, women and girls have to look at everyday objects differently. Understand the burden women carry to avoid violence

 

https://twitter.com/UN_Women/status/1198897874626646017

5. Stop victim-blaming and body-shaming. What women choose to wear or not wear is not consent for sexual harassment, violence, bullying, body-shaming or victim-blaming.

https://twitter.com/UNDP/status/1198904157954031616

THE PRAYER THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

The freedom to build. The freedom to change. The freedom to share.

There are two kinds of prayer – the prayer of form and the prayer of faith. The repetition of set and the customary phrases when the heart feels no need of God, is formal prayer.

We should be extremely careful in all our prayers to speak the wants of the heart and to say only what we actually mean. All the flowery words at our command are not equivalent to one holy desire. The most eloquent prayers are but vain repetitions if they do not express the true sentiments of the heart. But the prayer that comes from an earnest heart, when the simple wants of the soul are expressed just as we would ask an earthly friend for help, expecting that it would be granted – this is the prayer of faith.

The publican who went up to the temple to pray is a good example of a sincere, devoted worshiper. He felt that he was a sinner, and his great need led to an outburst of passionate desire,

“God be merciful to me a sinner.”

Luke 18:13

After we have offered our petitions, we are to answer them ourselves as far as possible, and not wait for God to do for us what we can do for ourselves. The help of God is held in reserve for all who demand it. Divine help is to be combined with human effort, aspiration, and energy. But we cannot reach the battlements of heaven without climbing for ourselves. We cannot be borne up by the prayers of others when we ourselves neglect to pray; for God has made no such provision for us.

The unlovely traits in our characters are not removed, and replaced by traits that are pure and lovely, without some effort on our part!

In our efforts to follow the copy set us by our Lord Jesus Christ, we shall make crooked lines. Yet let us not cease our efforts. Temporary failure should make us lean more heavily on Christ.

The more you pray, the more you will find to pray about, and the more you’ll be led to pray for others. 

Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:12, 13

Pray With Me
Heavenly Father, I look up to you in this time of change. Allow me to have the courage to change my life for the better. Allow all my burdens to be risen up to you as I know that You will see me through. Forgive those who have done evil and allow me to do the same. Teach me to love with an open heart and open spirit. Take time for me today to help with all the trials you have set out for me and allow me the strength and energy to follow you. Give me the blessings to find a new home, keep my family together, and bless those who are away, may they be strong and know how much love is out there. Let them know you and I are thinking of them and missing them dearly. Bless me with love, strength, wisdom, health, courage, forgiveness, and a willingness to learn.

Did you know?

Here are five facts about prayer, including survey data on Americans’ prayer habits and historical instances of prayer intersecting with the government:

  1. A Pew Research Center survey conducted in 2014 found that 45% of Americans — and a majority of Christians (55%) — say they rely a lot on prayer and personal religious reflection when making major life decisions. The same survey found that 63% of Christians in the U.S. say praying regularly is an essential part of their Christian identity.
    In 2014 — in the case Town of Greece v. Galloway — the Supreme Court ruled that U.S. legislative and administrative bodies may begin their sessions with a prayer. On some occasions, however, the high court has rejected other types of state-sponsored prayer. For instance, in 1962’s Engel v. Vitale, the court famously struck down a policy requiring public school students to begin their day with a nonsectarian prayer.
  2. The National Day of Prayer was enacted in 1952 by the Congress and President Harry S. Truman. As with the addition of “under God” to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954, the move came during the Cold War and was seen as a way of contrasting the more religious United States with the officially atheistic Soviet Union.
  3. The Freedom From Religion Foundation unsuccessfully challenged the National Day of Prayer in court. The 7th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in 2011 that the group, which aims to promote the separation of church and state, did not have legal standing to challenge the law.
  4. For many Americans, every day is a day of prayer. More than half (55%) of Americans say they pray every day, according to a 2014 Pew Research Center survey, while 21% say they pray weekly or monthly and 23% say they seldom or never pray. Even among those who are religiously unaffiliated, 20% say they pray daily. Women (64%) are more likely than men (46%) to pray every day. And Americans ages 65 and older are far more likely than adults under 30 to say they pray daily (65% vs. 41%).

The Bank of England has a Diversity Problem

The Bank of England has a Diversity Problem

A nine-strong committee look pretty similar: eight white men and white woman. This is the body that guides Britain’s economy and that is suppose to represent the diverse community the UK now represents.

Their monthly votes on interest rates ultimately determine how far our money goes.

Yet they don’t look anything like the people whose lives they have so much influence over, why is that? Its because the Bank of England has a Diversity Problem

The UK population is made up of different ethnicities. 87% of people are White, and 13% belong to a Black, Asian, Mixed or Other ethnic group and Women make up half of the UK population. Astoundingly 0% of the Monetary Policy Committee belong to a Black, Asian, Mixed or other ethnic groups and women make up one ninth of the committee. Shocking!

Mark Carney current governor is in fact, the 120th in a continuous line of white men to have headed the Bank.

It’s plain obvious the Bank has a diversity problem. But this is not a isolated issue as many other organisations in Britain have this very same problem.

The Public Accounts Committee (PAC) said last month that the Bank was some way off its diversity targets for next year “with little evidence the gap is closing quickly enough”.

Joanna Place the Bank’s chief operating officer also said: “In terms of diversity and inclusion, we have done a lot more than just gender and ethnicity.

“We have a number of staff networks. We have inclusive events. We have a wellbeing policy. We have done a cognitive diversity survey. We have started to look at social mobility,” she added.

Unfair

The Bank’s search for a new governor kicked off earlier this week and many are hoping that this could herald the start of a new era with a black governor at the helm for the first time in its history. However, Wendy Carlin, a professor of economics at University College London, says the problem is not with the Bank of England, but the economics profession itself.

Minorities quit Bank of England as it fails on diversity

More troubling were the committee findings into the proportion of BAME employees at the organisation, with an increase of just 3 per cent between 2015 (15 per cent) and 2018 (18 per cent), and no increase between 2017 and 2018.

Just 5 per cent of employees working at senior management level came from a BAME background in 2018. This is not a coincidence.

Ethnic minority employees are leaving the Bank of England in disproportionate numbers and feel less comfortable with the organisation’s culture, according to internal research.

The Bank’s non-executive directors admitted that the “BAME [black, Asian and minority ethnic] resignation rate was above that for the Bank as a whole” and said that it was actively addressing the problem, according to minutes of a recent meeting. But that’s not enough.

Statistics already show that BAME workers in UK are third more likely to be underemployed — report and probibly less likely  to study economics, let alone get a job in the sector. TUC says study highlights a waste of black, Asian and minority ethnic talent and urges more effort to tackle discrimination at work

“We know this is part of a much bigger story. BAME workers are more likely to be unemployed, paid less, and aren’t getting enough of the top jobs. Employers and the government cannot afford to ignore these problems. They must now take real action to tackle underemployment and pay discrimination.”

The former business secretary Sajid Javid had called on businesses to do more to support the careers of black and minority ethnic (BME) workers and commissioned Ruby McGregor-Smith, the chief executive of the facilities management company Mitie, to undertake an independent review of BAME progression at work. The review is due to report by the end of this year.

Dr Heffernan says the profession itself should try to make sure it is attracting the widest possible pool of applicants.

“How you word a job will define someone’s right to apply. If you’re not getting the right kind of applicants then describe the job differently and see what happens.”

Christian’s can help

If the Church put more effort into actively encouraging its members to work in professions that would benefit greatly from a strong moral compass, and then support them in those roles, just think what benefit to our country there might be.

Facts about the The Monetary Policy Committee (MPC)

The Monetary Policy Committee (MPC) is made up of nine members — the Governor, the three Deputy Governors for Monetary Policy, Financial Stability and Markets and Banking, our Chief Economist and four external members appointed directly by the Chancellor. 

External members are appointed to make sure that the MPC benefits from thinking and expertise from outside of the Bank of England. A representative from HM Treasury also sits with the MPC at its meetings. The Treasury representative can discuss policy issues, but is not allowed to vote. They are there to make sure that the MPC is fully briefed on fiscal policy developments and other aspects of the Government’s economic policies, and that the Chancellor is kept fully informed about monetary policy.

Each member of the MPC has expertise in the field of economics and monetary policy. Members do not represent individual groups or areas — they are independent. 

MPC members serve fixed terms, after which they may be either replaced or reappointed.

The PAC has called on the bank to provide a report setting out the additional steps it will take to ensure it meets its diversity targets by June 2019. 

Godinterest’s Manifesto of Ethics

To promote freedom of religion — Violations of religious freedom are increasing globally in scale, depth and blatancy. Carried out by both government and non-state actors, they range from the mundane to the extreme (e.g. genocide).

To promote freedom of expression and internet freedom — Freedom of expression is an essential part of a properly functioning democracy and a free society. People should be free to express themselves both online and offline. But in many parts of the world freedom of expression is under threat.

To be a inclusive social network — We aim to share multiple voices and perspectives. We prohibit and will remove Offensive material that has been reported to contain (e.g., Pornographic material, hate speech, encouraging violence against others, etc)

To respect one’s right to remain anonymous — Our users place their trust in us to keep them safe, and, in some cases, anonymous. We view safeguarding that trust and protecting our users’ private information as vital to what we do.

Some Historical Evidence FOR Female Leaders In The Church

Some Historical Evidence FOR Female Leaders In The Church

Alyson Aliano/Getty Images

The fight continues on: should women be allowed to hold leadership roles in the Church? Can a woman preach, considering what Paul said in 1 Corinthians? How can a lady be the head of any religious activity?

The argument has gone on for years, between egalitarian and complementarians.

Complementarians arguing that women are to be submissive and subject to men, while egalitarians argue that women and men are equal in value and ability, able to lead and teach just as well as men.

The fight becomes who has the best Scripture. Who’s Bible verse proves they are right better? Who is the most right?

While I don’t want to get into that fight here, an impartial piece of history may tell us where the Early Church would have landed on this issue. Continue reading “Some Historical Evidence FOR Female Leaders In The Church”

8 Things Hings That a Single or Married Woman Should Never Do with the Opposite Sex

8 Things Hings That a Single or Married Woman Should Never Do with the Opposite Sex

Ladies, we are walking on thin ice. There are just some things that you cannot do with the opposite sex, but so many women are falling into that trap. A wink here, a too tight hug there, a bit of confiding when your husband is ‘trippin’ or a too long gaze across the sea of heads at church. Nah-uh ladies, antics like this can only end up in sexual sin.

When I say that I am an observant person, I really mean that I will scrutinize everything down to the last detail. This has gotten me out of some hairy situations and has gotten me into trouble (sigh). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not studying people because I want to be judgemental, nope, I’m just interested in the behavior of people. In my 29 years of life, I have picked up major mistakes that women make when it comes to the opposite sex. These mistakes have ended in stalkings, murder, pregnancies out of marriage, affairs, domestic abuse, rape, scandal- I have seen it all. Now, as Christian women, we have to be mindful of our behavior- we cannot be acting in just any manner with men. There have to be boundaries. These are the 7 things that I believe you should avoid:

  1. Flirting

There is no such thing as harmless flirting. All flirting is suggestive to some degree and we are better off without it. Perhaps you find flirting fun and meaningless, but it ceases to be that when you direct it at someone who does not share the same opinion of it as you. There are compliments, and there is flirting, but the lines can become blurred rather quickly. Flirting is a dangerous game for Christian women because it reeks of worldly ways. We have no business trying to attract men or be attracted to them with the use of smooth one-liners that have no purpose in the Christian life. Do you want a godly husband? Then you need to be a godly woman who seeks the LORD first, and because of your relationship with GOD, the man of GOD will see you as a potential wife. If you are married then you should only have eyes for your husband. Do not make light of your marital vows by entertaining a flirtatious manner.

  1. Accepting Gifts

Refusing a gift from a man is not looking a gift horse in the mouth. What are the man’s intentions by giving you that gift? What does he expect in return? I don’t care whether the man is Christian or not if you are not married or at least betrothed to the guy, you have no business accepting his gifts. That slab of chocolate may seem harmless at first, but if that man is interested in you and you’re not, then you’re heading for a difficult time trying to shake him off. Just be upfront with the guy and say that you would rather not accept anything from him.

  1. Not Nipping Unwanted Attention in the Bud

Okay, I understand the lure of having someone interested in you. It’s mighty flattering. However, if you’re not interested in the guy, why on earth are you leading him on? Why are you leaving him hanging? That is only asking for trouble. You need to remember that men and women think differently and we cannot read each other’s minds, so you can never comprehend what is going on in the interested guy’s mind. Keep it godly and keep your intentions clear. There is a very thin line between love and hate; the guy that professed love to you a month ago can seek your destruction now.

  1. Discussing Your Spouse

Discussing your marital issues with the opposite sex is inviting trouble into your life. Just think about. You have been talking to brother Fred about your husband’s shortcomings and he has been taking note. He begins to fulfill the role that you had hoped your husband would fill, and before you know it, you both succumb to adultery. It’s frighteningly easy to give into temptation, especially when you are outside the will of GOD. Keep your issues between yourselves and a trusted counselor,

  1. Seeking “Comfort” From Opposite Sex

When you are feeling vulnerable, receiving support from a fellow Christian is a natural thing to do. But when you actively seek out comfort from the opposite sex… So many scandals have started this way. A Christian woman sought the guidance and comfort of her pastor, spending countless hours in counseling sessions. Their willpower began to weaken and their flesh took precedence over everything else. Next thing you know, the woman is pregnant with the pastor’s baby. Or perhaps a man and woman in the church sought comfort from each other and committed fornication. The list goes on. Just take your troubles to the LORD first and then seek out suitable comfort and guidance from a sister in Christ.

  1. Inappropriate Speech

Ther are just some things that you cannot discuss with the opposite sex. Topics of a sexual nature are definitely a big no-no. We have to remember that the flesh is weak, and if you do not take care to watch your words or the words of others spoken to you, you’re opening yourself up to some sinful thoughts that you have no place thinking about. Do not entertain inappropriate speech from men and do not be the one speaking it. Out of your mouth will flow what comes from your heart, remember that.

  1. Entertaining Relationships with Non-Believers

Why would you want to be unequally yoked with a non-believer? Is there a problem with waiting on GOD for the right man for you? We cannot be seeking people that belong to the world because they can pull you away from GOD probably quicker than you can draw them to GOD. What we should be attracted to is a man who puts GOD first in everything, not a handsome face, an athletic body, a rich man, a charming man or even someone who makes you laugh. Look for that godly trait first and you might just find that the man that GOD sent to you is the perfect fit for you. If you are already married and your husband is not a Believer, then just keep on praying and being faithful and obedient to GOD.

  1. Too Much Physical Contact When Dating/Courting

I know that many women will argue with me concerning this, but let’s be honest: kissing, petting, cuddling… all inappropriate when you’re not married to the guy. Keep your hands and your lips to yourself until you get married. When you’re dating someone, it should be for the purpose of getting married, not companionship or love out of marriage. We all know that the flesh is weak, right? So when you’re dating a guy and you kiss him or he kisses you, lust is going to come speeding in faster than you realize. If we say that we are women of GOD, then we need to start acting like it in word and in deed. We are not like other women. We are the daughters of the Most High and Holy GOD. We have a standard to uphold before the world. It will not do for a non-believer to see us French kissing our boyfriends/intended like they do, or having him put a hand on our bottoms or even pressing up against us in an intimate manner. Until you are ready for marriage, dedicate yourself to things of the LORD and keep yourself pure. If your boyfriend tries to make you feel guilty, then he does not fear the LORD because he should know how to treat the daughter of the Almighty GOD.

 

Ladies, this is not the time to be living like the world and doing the things of the world. Keep your conduct holy and your thoughts pure. We are still living in the flesh and the flesh is a wicked thing- it fights against the things of GOD. There are many hardships and temptations that we face on a daily basis, we do not need to add to them by behaving inappropriately with the opposite sex. Always seek GOD before doing anything.

Why Followers of Jesus Should Care About Fair Trade

A year ago, I was actively involved in the oppression and enslavement of men, women, and children around the world. Every day, decisions that I made and money I mindlessly spent supported evil businessman that used people in desperate situations to get rich. And I had no idea.

One fall afternoon I was looking for something to watch on Netflix and began streaming the film  The True Cost. What I saw over the next hour and a half incited feelings of nausea, devastation, and rage. And the way I view clothes has not been the same ever since.

The film gives an overview of the fashion industry, and how the majority of clothes around the world are produced. They interviewed actual factory workers who told of their experiences. One woman’s story, in particular, chilled me to the bone. She told of how she tried to unionize for fairer pay, as most garment workers make roughly $2 per day. Due to her request, she and her coworkers were locked in a room, beaten, struck with scissors, and forced to continue working. As she told her story, choking back tears, she cried, “I don’t want people to wear clothes that were made with our blood.”

This is a normal occurrence around the world in garment factories and cotton farms. Children are forced out of school to pick cotton in brutal conditions. People are forced to work in dangerous conditions for little to no money.  

On the other side of the globe, we are fueling this horrible industry. We buy clothes as a hobby, and we never have enough. We trample people for the best Black Friday deals, as if the stuff we can buy is more important than the people around us, and the people making these items for us to purchase.  

Google “Rana Plaza Collapse”. Rana Plaza was a building that housed multiple garment factories in Bangladesh. The factory owners received several warnings about the structural integrity of the building, as large cracks in the building were discovered. Regardless, the garment factory bosses ordered their workers to continue coming to work.  It collapsed in 2013, killing 1,134 people and injuring thousands more.    Many companies were having clothes made in these factories, including J.C. Penney, Walmart, The Children’s Place, Primark, Zara, and more.  

Isaiah 1:17 says, “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.”

Injustice and oppression are the driving forces of much of the clothing industry. Let’s refuse to turn a blind eye to this. Instead, let’s commit to seek justice and defend the oppressed. Here are a few steps that I have found helpful in this journey:

1.  Buy less.  How many clothes do you  actually  need? Most people around the world, outside of North America and Europe, have a minimal number of outfits if they have more than one. I’m not saying get rid of all your clothes and become a minimalist. But before you buy your fourth pair of black shoes or your seventh blue t-shirt, ask yourself, “Do I  really  need this?”

2.  Buy Fair-Trade.  Clothes that are certified Fair-Trade ensure that people are treated well. By buying these clothes, you can actually support the garment worker themselves, and allow them to continue their craft.

3.  Find a few companies that are committed to treating people well, and become a committed customer.  A few that I have started shopping at are Everlane, Krochet Kids International, Pact, and Oliberte.  

This may be all new for you, and you are processing the devastating reality of the clothing industry. If you are coming to grips with this reality, I encourage you to commit to the charge of Isaiah 1:17. Seek justice. Defend the oppressed.

Where Have All the Fathers Gone?

As soon as Rhys heard the front door open, he jumped up and began shouting for joy, “Mom Daddy’s home, Daddy’s home!”. His heartbeat racing and his brown eyes shining excitedly, anticipating playtime with Daddy. A wide grin spread across Rhys’s face as Daddy acted like a big bear. Daddy quickly dropping down onto one knee so that he’d be at his son’s height to horse around the living room. Sadly this scene is becoming a rear sight to see.

Today let’s talk about the invisible dads, the ones who don’t marry Mummy, don’t support their kids and don’t hang around for the hugs, kisses and nappy changes. There are millions of them around the world, and their numbers are growing.

“Today, more than one in four births is to an unmarried mother, and more than one in 10 births is to a teenager. These numbers portend a future of fragile families. Once considered primarily a racial problem, fatherless homes have increased across a wide range of demographics over the last ten years.”

How have we come to the point where a child with two parents is the exception rather than the norm? It is time that we put the issue of fatherless families front and center on our national agenda.

So who’s the real problem here? And why should we care?

It is time to shift our attention to the issue of male responsibility, and to the indispensable role that fathers play in our society.

Firstly, it would be an oversimplification to assume that two parents are always better than one as there are many courageous and loving single moms and daddy’s who are able to balance the competing demands on their time and attention, to care and provide for their children alone.

However, contrary to the sentiments of our culture and though our society is only beginning to recognize it, the presence of fathers within the home is vital to the moral integrity of a society. The short-term effects are already far too evident as statistics  reveal that the loss of fathers is reverberating throughout the world in the form of social pathologies ranging from teen pregnancy to drug abuse.

Fatherless children are  five times more likely to be poor and twice as likely to drop out of school as children who live with both parents.

Boys, without proper male role models, look to other sources for the male bonding they need. In the inner cities that often entails gangs while in the suburbs it tends to be online.

“According to the latest statistics, the increase in the proportion of single-parent families accounted for about half of the overall increase in child poverty from 1979 through to 1987.”

The Scriptures warn us about the power of fatherhood, as well as the long-lasting impact that fatherhood has on us all. Exodus 20:4-6.” Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” could be both about habits/behavior and also looks. Have you ever thought about that? Do you often find yourself reacting to a situation the way your father did? or scarier yet…do you ever see your mannerisms in your son? The footprint of a father leaves a permanent mark on the soul of a child.

Fatherhood is under assault

We hear a lot about the war on women…but it is the war on Dads that is causing the greatest damage in the world today. It’s not hard to find. If you watch any popular sitcom on television today, you’ll likely notice that fathers are typically portrayed as childish, irresponsible, lazy, incompetent and stupid.

The doofus dad stereotype isn’t new. There’s Fred Flinstone, and even Charlie Brown’s monotone parents. But according to Tierny, the consistency of these new portrayals has slowly created a new norm opposed to what being a father used to mean.

Dads make a difference. Dads can be heroes – if only we give them the chance. We remain optimistic that family still has more influence than media.

We all need another hero

Fathers are representatives of God on earth; as our heavenly father is the giver of life so also are the earthly father’s givers of life.  Malachi 4:6 says “And he will turn, the hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”

God understands the importance of a father’s love and cares towards their children and He has set the standard by being the first example of a loving father.

“The SARRI report quotes research which  found that “the presence of a father can  contribute to cognitive development,  intellectual functioning, and school  achievement. Children growing up  without fathers are more likely to experience emotional disturbances and  depression.”

“Girls who grow up with  their fathers are more likely to have  higher self-esteem, lower levels of risky  sexual behaviour, and fewer difficulties  in forming and maintaining romantic  relationships later in life. They have less  likelihood of having an early pregnancy,  bearing children outside marriage,  marrying early, or getting divorced.”

A father’s touch

The first thing, therefore, that a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Another part of a father’s task is that of a protector for his family. But, Daddy also has another task in the home, which is to combine tenderness with strength, and to model the combination so consistently that the children regard the combination as natural.

Our kids must come to know naturally both that dad’s standards protect them, and that his love makes them strong.

Where have all the fathers gone?

Our courts do not value fatherhood as much as motherhood. In 2015 it is still the case that mothers and fathers do not have equal rights

And herein lies the problem. Our expectation of the role a separated father should play in his children’s lives is so low, that when half of dads who win “access” to their kids can’t even sleep under the same roof as their offspring, academics declare this to be an overwhelming success. One of the fruits of the feminist movement many claim is the idea that a woman is more responsible as a parent than the father is.

“He is not my Dad…he is just someone you sleep with!” How many mothers have felt the sting of those words? That is why God hates divorce. We should too.

Our culture has put asunder things which God has joined together—things such as tenderness and strength. It is the job of the father to put them back together again.

Fatherhood, like Motherhood has is its own rewards – as most dads have found. Sadly, for the others, the invisible ones, it is a gift foolishly squandered.

5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

Living in an over-sexualized culture, we hear messages about sex, wrong messages.   These messages become more a part of us than God’s truth because we hear them repetitively and churches are scared to address sexuality.

For too long, I believed the world’s message about sex.   That it’s a superficial, feel-good avenue to self-satisfaction.   Wrong, partly.   God did design sex to feel good!

But, there is more than that.   He designed it for profound spiritual, physical, and emotional connection.   It is just a shadow of things to come.

God’s design of sex is too amazing to keep silent about.

Here are five truths about God’s design of sex in marriage.

God designed sex to be bonding.

Not only spiritually bonding, but emotionally and physically.   When the two become one flesh, biochemicals are released in our bodies like oxytocin and dopamine.   Oxytocin, especially, is a bonding chemical.   When I embraced this truth and started engaging in the marriage bed more, the tone of our marriage completely changed.

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24 (NIV).

God designed sex for both husband and wife to experience pleasure.

It’s an equal opportunity activity.   Why else would there be a clitoris?   It’s only function is for pleasure.   The Song of Solomon is full of beautiful poetic language about the pleasures of physical love for both spouses.

If one spouse struggles with the ultimate moment, there are Christian resources available to help the couple understand how to achieve mutual enjoyment.

“The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved,” Song of Solomon 7:13 (NIV).

God designed sex so that we would know yearning.

Before you were married, you yearned for your fianc.   Not only did you crave your fiance’s touch, you craved his/her presence and knowing him/her better.  Even after years of marriage, it is good to remember this yearning.  It mirrors how God desires us to yearn for him.   I believe this is one reason he frequently uses the marriage as a symbol of his relationship with us throughout the Bible.

“Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?” James 4:5 (NIV).

God designed the marriage bed to be a place to show the fruit of the Spirit.

Peace, patience, love, joy, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control are the foundation of all Christian life, especially the marriage bed.   All conflict surrounding the marriage bed can be managed through employing these key traits.

My own marriage endured a long season of mismatched sex drives.   It was through these qualities and some wise communication tools that we overcame our conflict.

God designed sex as a powerful mystery.

Biblical stories of sex often confused me when I was young.   There was some nasty stuff in the old testament, the rape of Dinah, Lot and his daughters, the men of Gibeah  clammering for the male visitor, Leviticus 20.   And yet, there is the beautiful Song of Solomon.   The New Testament seemed to prefer celibacy, to be honest.   As a teenager, I couldn’t understand why I liked thinking about sex if it was disgraceful and violent.

But, as an adult, I realized the stories were teaching me that sexual intimacy is powerful and mysterious.   It’s OK not to have it all figured out, as long as you respect the power it holds to do good when it is aligned with God’s perfect design.

“For my thoughts  are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the  Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways  and my thoughts than your thoughts,” Isaiah 55:8-9.

Final Thoughts

Don’t let the world’s message of cheap sex destroy the meaningful sex in your marriage.   Sex may only be a small portion of the whole of your marriage.   However, sex matters.   It especially matters if one spouse is more interested than the other.   When we ignore its power and importance in marriage, the relationship suffers.

Now, granted chronic health issues can affect sexual function and that’s a more complicated story.

 

Championing Women Is about Restoration, Not Progression

Championing women is about restoration, not progression

“If there ever comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never known.”  – Matthew Arnold, poet and cultural critic, 1822-1888.

Growing up, I loved strong female characters. As a child bookworm, I started with the adventures of Lucy Pevensie from C.S. Lewis’  The Chronicles of Narnia, then graduated to some of the classics. I loved the wit of Elizabeth Bennet, the integrity of Jane Eyre and the willpower of Scarlett O’Hara – to name a few recognisable examples.

I confess that as a twenty-something, my love of strong fictional heroines hasn’t waned in the slightest. My inner child was ridiculously excited about the  Wonder Woman  movie last year.

Appreciating strong fictional characters is fairly universal, and we only need to count all the superhero movies over the past few decades to note that humanity has an intrinsic love of heroism.

Last week marked International Women’s Day and whilst I have numerous concerns about feminism, IWD is still an opportunity to honour women, and to talk about some of the issues it seeks to raise.

On International Women’s Day I found myself listening to church leaders as they spoke about God’s heart for women. Amongst all the wonderful insight they shared with the group was this fundamental reminder: There is a war against women, and it’s a spiritual one, going right back to the enemy’s temptation of Eve in Genesis. After the Fall, the Lord told Satan, “And  I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”  (Genesis 3:15).

Lisa Bevere writes in her book  Girls with Swords:  “Enmity is deep-rooted hatred and irreconcilable hostility. This describes a breach so profound that with each passing generation, Satan’s hostility and hatred deepens as he runs out of time and the urgency increases. Never has his attack against women and children been more wicked, obvious, and widespread.”

A mere glance at the list of evils facing women today around the world – human trafficking, pornography, abuse, gendercide, FGM, oppressive religious systems – will demonstrate that the enemy certainly has a vendetta against women. This doesn’t excuse humanity’s part to play – those who have oppressed, silenced, exploited and demeaned women. But at its root, this is a battle that goes much deeper, and man is not the enemy.

We are not called to partake in the ‘progressive’ movement, which is only driving divisions between men and women deeper still. We are not merely to condemn or mock the culture either. Both of these tactics are worldly and destructive.

The good news is that the cross redeems us from the curse of the Fall. As Christ’s Kingdom ambassadors, we are called to redeem and restore what has been tarnished and destroyed. Our mandate is to co-labour with God in restoring all things to His original design. To the one who thinks like the world, this seems counter-intuitive, backwards or regressive. To the one who is kingdom-minded, it is true progress.

Some of the injustices that need addressing are obvious and have already been mentioned. Others are more subtle and start ‘closer to home’.

Much has been said of how men should treat women – and rightly so. But less is said about the power women already have to instigate change in whatever sphere of influence they are in. I think the popularity of the fictional females I loved growing up is largely down to how they responded to adversity, not how they felt about it.

Whether or not you feel as though you’ve had to fight for your place, it doesn’t define your worth. In the Kingdom of God, you already have a place at the table, and there’s more than enough for everyone. Knowing this gives us permission to celebrate ourselves and one another. There’s no need for insecurity when God says you are enough; no need for jealousy and comparison when God has enough for you.

So let’s lift other women up, amplifying one another’s voices instead of muting them. Romans 12:10 (ESV) says ‘Outdo one another in showing honour’ – if we’re going to compete with one another in anything, let it be in this.

Much of the answer to winning the war on women lies in becoming less ‘me-centred’  (my  rights,  my  convenience,  my  choice,  my  happiness), and more other-centered. To do the right thing when it’s hard, inconvenient and costs something. That’s not what we’d prefer to hear. We want easy fixes, comfort and ease. But that’s not the gospel. That’s not the way of the cross.

Bevere continues in Girls With Swords:  ‘Heroes tend to champion causes rather than themselves. Being motivated by something outside themselves drives them to risk being more daring, compassionate, willing, responsible, and courageous.’

Movies that depict true heroism are popular for a reason.  Wonder Woman was by no means perfect, but I think it  resonated with so many because it appealed to something in us that aspires to these key traits of courage and selflessness. The movie celebrated men and women working together – Wonder Woman respected, befriended and loved men, even as she raised her voice in objection to the injustices and cynicism she encountered. Wonder Woman wasn’t screaming ‘down with the patriarchy’. She championed everyone around her whether or not they ‘deserved’ it.

Wonder Woman  also seemed to kickstart a trend of displaying the power of female unity through its depiction of the Amazons, who reappeared in  Justice League. It’s nice to see this trend continue in  Black Panther  with the Dora Milaje warriors – both ‘armies’ defend not only themselves but  mankind. I love it when filmmakers unintentionally convey the heart of God and I hope to see more of this in future.

But more importantly, I hope that we move beyond the fantasy of film and work towards making these values manifest.

If you gain nothing else from this post, remember this: Change starts with you.

Being Brave: A 40-Day Journey to the Life God Dreams for You

Part 1 of an interview with Kelly Johnson,Author of Being Brave: A 40-Day Journey to the Life God Dreams for You

The world can be a scary place, and the fear it produces can spiral us into a sort of paralysis that keeps us from speaking truth, living boldly, and encouraging others. To spur us back into action, life coach Kelly Johnson has written a devotional, Being Brave: A 40-Day Journey to the Life God Dreams for You  (Abingdon Press), to help fan the flame of bravery that lies in wait within everyone.  

Q: How did your daughter first start you on the journey to study about being brave, and what role did she play in encouraging you to write this book?

When my youngest daughter was nine years old, she was having a particularly tough day. She had worn me out with her growing list of worries, complaints, aches, pains, and fears, and I told her I didn’t know what else I could do for her. I had depleted my reservoir of mommy tricks in my efforts to help her get to the other side of her increasing angst and finally said to her, “Brooke, I don’t know how to help you.” She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Mommy, I just need you to tell me that I’m a brave soldier.” Her response to me that day began our family’s journey with the power of naming one another brave.

When Brooke left for college a few years ago, she wrote me a letter inviting me to step out and be brave in this new season of my life. Through my curiosity around the word brave, I started writing, reading, and wondering about what being brave meant for women like me who wanted to live lives of meaning and purpose but were sometimes scared to step out of their comfort zones. In October 2015, I offered my first Being Brave retreat where we explored God’s vision for our life, the barriers to fully embracing that braver life, and the part our connection to one another played in hearing God’s voice more clearly. This book was originally created as a resource and follow-up for my retreat attendees to go more deeply into the concepts we covered at the retreat.

Q: How is being brave tied into our faith and identity as Christians? Why is it powerful to be called brave?  

The most often repeated command in scripture is “do not fear.” God knew we would need encouragement to help us deal with our tendency to be sidetracked by our fears, so we find hundreds of scriptures about fear and courage in the Bible. Every exhortation to set aside our fear includes a reminder of God’s presence. Because of God’s presence, we can defeat the power of fear in our life and live in the fullness of who God made us to be. Because of God, we are brave. The theme verse for our journey is found in 2 Timothy 1:7:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity,but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.

Remembering we are brave reminds us of our identity as children of God and sets us free to do the next right thing with confidence. Naming one another BRAVE, calling out the brave soldier in each other, is a powerful way of speaking out loud the following message of solidarity and inspiration: “I see your struggle. I see your brave, hard work. I believe in you, and I’m here if you need help.” When we are reminded of our inherent, God-given courage, we can turn down the volume on the voice of our inner critic and turn up the volume on God’s voice. Remembering we are brave helps us tap into the part of ourselves that is creative and resourceful.

Q: You describe part of being brave as being bold, confident, and resilient. What encouragement do you have for the woman who doesn’t feel like she is any of those things?  

My experience both personally and in my interactions with friends and clients tells me many of us would have trouble describing ourselves with those words most of the time. While we might be willing to acknowledge confidence, boldness, or resilience in ourselves in some areas, many of us are much quicker to see those qualities in others. We tend to compare our insides with other people’s outsides and reach the conclusion that others possess something we just don’t have. I would encourage the woman who struggles to identify those qualities in herself to ask a trusted friend or family member for help in the discovery process. We are always more connected to our courage in the context of community. Find the people who encourage you to step out and exercise your confidence muscles and offer them the gift of encouragement in return.

I would also encourage her to determine what she thinks being bold, confident, and resilient looks like and act that way until she begins to feel that way. One of my favorite quotes about being brave is from Aristotle. He says, “We become brave by doing brave acts.” I believe scripture tells us that God created us to be brave, bold, confident, and resilient. Until we remember what that feels like, we need to encourage one another and practice doing brave things. Do one thing that scares you every day, no matter how small, and catch your friends being brave.  

Q: Who was Being Brave written for?

The Being Brave journey is for women who feel stuck and want to get un-stuck. This book is for the woman who dreams of a life of deeper purpose and passion, even though she isn’t sure she has anything significant to contribute. This book is for the woman who feels lonely, even though she has 750 friends on Facebook, and for the woman who loves Jesus, even though she doesn’t always feel like she fits in at church. This book is for the woman longing for deeper connection to God and to other women like her. This book is for the woman who needs someone to tell her she is brave, her story matters, and the party won’t be complete without her.

Q: Tell us a little bit about the format of Being Brave. How did you intend for the book to be used?

The book is formatted as a forty-day devotional journey. Using our theme scripture from 2 Timothy and an acronym of the word BRAVE, we explore six facets of being brave. On this journey, being brave includes being Bold, Resilient, Authentic, Vulnerable, Engaged, and Empowered by the Spirit. Each day explores one of the six facets of bravery with two scripture verses, an illustration, three thought-provoking questions, and a prayer. Along the way, we take inspiration from Jesus and His brave followers during the final weeks of His ministry, in addition to examples of courage from my own community.

My prayer is that readers will find an accessible guide to thinking about being brave in a new way and be willing to consider the idea that our Creator is willing and able to accompany us on the journey. I hope Being Brave is a book that both seasoned devotional enthusiasts and those who have never used a daily devotional before will find meaningful. In less than thirty minutes, most readers will be able to explore the daily offering and consider ways to incorporate the various facets of bravery into their day.

Fighting Gender Discrimination in The High-Tech World

New research suggests that tech-savvy women might face gender discrimination in jobs at high-tech firms, partly due to mismanaged projects.

It shows gender discrimination is still as prevalent in the UK as it was 20 years ago, and comes as International Women’s Day will be celebrated this week on March 8, for the 103rd year.

The book “The Recruitment, Retention and Advancement of Technical Women: Breaking Barriers to Cultural Change in Corporations” by the Anita Borg Institute for Women and Technology, a Palo Alto-based nonprofit organization focusing on the role of women at high-tech firms.

“More than a Quarter of Women Have Experienced Some Form of Gender Discrimination in the Workplace, a New Study Shows.”

Tech firms typically rely on a “hero mindset” to save poorly organised runaway coding projects.  As a result, employees with family responsibilities (generally considered to be women) are left out, the report said.

The Research Also Suggests out of 1,500 Office Workers in the Uk, 26% of Women Felt That Having Children Held Them Back in Their Career

The research also suggests that there is evidence of bias against women in recruitment and job assignment in places where high-tech corporate cultures thrive on this “hero mindset” that “rewards a ‘last minute’ crunch where 24/7 work becomes necessary to ‘save’ a project.” However, these environments fail to acknowledge family responsibilities and flexibility needs, the report said.

This fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants workday culture represents a pattern that’s grown mainly because an organization poorly defines project management and requirements.

For example, Silicon Valley’s sometimes frantic fire-fighting pace and in-your-face communication style produces many technical cultures that often “leave women feeling isolated and crushed,” notes the report.

The study also reflects what 59 senior business and tech managers — both men and women from companies like Cisco, Facebook, Goldman Sachs, Google, HP, IBM, Intel, Microsoft and Symantec — shared during a closed forum  organized by the Anita Borg Institute. According to the report, it’s common in the high-tech world to find the modern equivalent of the “good old boys network” that tends to hire “people who are like them.”

Technical women these days are “still a rarity,” said Dr. Carolyn Simard, author of the report. She added that in the United States, women earn just 18 percent of computer science degrees in college. That figure is sharply down from the 37 percent observed in 1985. Yet technical demand is still expected to grow as much as 32 percent by 2018.

The Institute published a second report titled “Senior Technical Women: A Profile of Success,” which surveyed approximately 1,800 participants from seven unidentified high-tech firms in Silicon Valley.

It found that women now hold about four percent of the senior-level technical positions at high-tech firms and an estimated one-quarter of all tech jobs. On higher levels, women are more likely to end up in a managerial position compared to men (36.9 percent of women compared to 19 percent of men), who are more likely to hold “individual contributor positions” in technical coding jobs.

The second study also found that men and women in technical jobs value most of the same attributes for success, such as being analytical, questioning, risk-taking, collaborative, entrepreneurial, assertive, working long hours and being sociable.

Far more often than men, women generally have “primary responsibility for the household,” the study showed. However, senior-level tech women are much more likely to have a partner who holds primary responsibility for the household and children (23.5 percent of partnered senior women) compared to entry or mid-level women (13.4 percent). Senior-level tech women are also more likely than their male counterparts to forego a partner and children because they believe they might hinder their careers.

To improve work-life balance and stop any perceived gender bias against women in the high-tech world, the Anita Borg Institute is pushing a few ideas that will generate debate and controversy.

“The Equality Act 2010 Makes It Unlawful for an Employer to Discriminate Against Employees Because of Their Gender.”

One recommendation suggests that because there is evidence that women are eliminated in the hiring process at the resume review level, companies might consider “that all women candidates should at least get an interview.”

With backing from firms like HP, Google, Facebook, Intel and Intuit, the Anita Borg Institute even suggested that it might be possible to create a software tool designed to weed out any unconscious bias against hiring or promoting women in the tech world.

This “software tool for detecting bias” was proposed at the Institute’s forum. It can use language recognition to zero in on everything from performance evaluations to letters of recommendation that exhibit gender bias. An online tool like this can be found at Harvard’s Project Implicit.

“We envision building on such research to create a system where specific language can be fed and analyzed for the existence of bias,” the report said. “Using machine learning and text analysis methods would help organizations and individuals address the existence of bias before the damaging language is formally used in recommendations or evaluations.”

Additionally, the software would be a “high-impact diagnostic tool for calibrating organizations with regard to hiring and promotion decisions.”

 

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