Ladies, we are walking on thin ice. There are just some things that you cannot do with the opposite sex, but so many women are falling into that trap. A wink here, a too tight hug there, a bit of confiding when your husband is ‘trippin’ or a too long gaze across the sea of heads at church. Nah-uh ladies, antics like this can only end up in sexual sin.
When I say that I am an observant person, I really mean that I will scrutinize everything down to the last detail. This has gotten me out of some hairy situations and has gotten me into trouble (sigh). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not studying people because I want to be judgemental, nope, I’m just interested in the behavior of people. In my 29 years of life, I have picked up major mistakes that women make when it comes to the opposite sex. These mistakes have ended in stalkings, murder, pregnancies out of marriage, affairs, domestic abuse, rape, scandal- I have seen it all. Now, as Christian women, we have to be mindful of our behavior- we cannot be acting in just any manner with men. There have to be boundaries. These are the 7 things that I believe you should avoid:
Flirting
There is no such thing as harmless flirting. All flirting is suggestive to some degree and we are better off without it. Perhaps you find flirting fun and meaningless, but it ceases to be that when you direct it at someone who does not share the same opinion of it as you. There are compliments, and there is flirting, but the lines can become blurred rather quickly. Flirting is a dangerous game for Christian women because it reeks of worldly ways. We have no business trying to attract men or be attracted to them with the use of smooth one-liners that have no purpose in the Christian life. Do you want a godly husband? Then you need to be a godly woman who seeks the LORD first, and because of your relationship with GOD, the man of GOD will see you as a potential wife. If you are married then you should only have eyes for your husband. Do not make light of your marital vows by entertaining a flirtatious manner.
Accepting Gifts
Refusing a gift from a man is not looking a gift horse in the mouth. What are the man’s intentions by giving you that gift? What does he expect in return? I don’t care whether the man is Christian or not if you are not married or at least betrothed to the guy, you have no business accepting his gifts. That slab of chocolate may seem harmless at first, but if that man is interested in you and you’re not, then you’re heading for a difficult time trying to shake him off. Just be upfront with the guy and say that you would rather not accept anything from him.
Not Nipping Unwanted Attention in the Bud
Okay, I understand the lure of having someone interested in you. It’s mighty flattering. However, if you’re not interested in the guy, why on earth are you leading him on? Why are you leaving him hanging? That is only asking for trouble. You need to remember that men and women think differently and we cannot read each other’s minds, so you can never comprehend what is going on in the interested guy’s mind. Keep it godly and keep your intentions clear. There is a very thin line between love and hate; the guy that professed love to you a month ago can seek your destruction now.
Discussing Your Spouse
Discussing your marital issues with the opposite sex is inviting trouble into your life. Just think about. You have been talking to brother Fred about your husband’s shortcomings and he has been taking note. He begins to fulfill the role that you had hoped your husband would fill, and before you know it, you both succumb to adultery. It’s frighteningly easy to give into temptation, especially when you are outside the will of GOD. Keep your issues between yourselves and a trusted counselor,
Seeking “Comfort” From Opposite Sex
When you are feeling vulnerable, receiving support from a fellow Christian is a natural thing to do. But when you actively seek out comfort from the opposite sex… So many scandals have started this way. A Christian woman sought the guidance and comfort of her pastor, spending countless hours in counseling sessions. Their willpower began to weaken and their flesh took precedence over everything else. Next thing you know, the woman is pregnant with the pastor’s baby. Or perhaps a man and woman in the church sought comfort from each other and committed fornication. The list goes on. Just take your troubles to the LORD first and then seek out suitable comfort and guidance from a sister in Christ.
Inappropriate Speech
Ther are just some things that you cannot discuss with the opposite sex. Topics of a sexual nature are definitely a big no-no. We have to remember that the flesh is weak, and if you do not take care to watch your words or the words of others spoken to you, you’re opening yourself up to some sinful thoughts that you have no place thinking about. Do not entertain inappropriate speech from men and do not be the one speaking it. Out of your mouth will flow what comes from your heart, remember that.
Entertaining Relationships with Non-Believers
Why would you want to be unequally yoked with a non-believer? Is there a problem with waiting on GOD for the right man for you? We cannot be seeking people that belong to the world because they can pull you away from GOD probably quicker than you can draw them to GOD. What we should be attracted to is a man who puts GOD first in everything, not a handsome face, an athletic body, a rich man, a charming man or even someone who makes you laugh. Look for that godly trait first and you might just find that the man that GOD sent to you is the perfect fit for you. If you are already married and your husband is not a Believer, then just keep on praying and being faithful and obedient to GOD.
Too Much Physical Contact When Dating/Courting
I know that many women will argue with me concerning this, but let’s be honest: kissing, petting, cuddling… all inappropriate when you’re not married to the guy. Keep your hands and your lips to yourself until you get married. When you’re dating someone, it should be for the purpose of getting married, not companionship or love out of marriage. We all know that the flesh is weak, right? So when you’re dating a guy and you kiss him or he kisses you, lust is going to come speeding in faster than you realize. If we say that we are women of GOD, then we need to start acting like it in word and in deed. We are not like other women. We are the daughters of the Most High and Holy GOD. We have a standard to uphold before the world. It will not do for a non-believer to see us French kissing our boyfriends/intended like they do, or having him put a hand on our bottoms or even pressing up against us in an intimate manner. Until you are ready for marriage, dedicate yourself to things of the LORD and keep yourself pure. If your boyfriend tries to make you feel guilty, then he does not fear the LORD because he should know how to treat the daughter of the Almighty GOD.
Ladies, this is not the time to be living like the world and doing the things of the world. Keep your conduct holy and your thoughts pure. We are still living in the flesh and the flesh is a wicked thing- it fights against the things of GOD. There are many hardships and temptations that we face on a daily basis, we do not need to add to them by behaving inappropriately with the opposite sex. Always seek GOD before doing anything.
Writing a book has been a dream of mine twenty years in the making. On June 6th, I realized that dream when my first book, God and Hamilton: Spiritual Themes From the Life of Alexander Hamilton & the Broadway Musical He Inspired released on Amazon.com.
The process of writing a book was equal parts rewarding, frustrating, discouraging, and exhilarating. Throughout the entire process, God taught me invaluable truths that have transformed my relationship with Him and my perspective on writing and the creative act. I share some of those lessons learned here, in the hope that they will encourage you in your creative journey.
Lesson #1: Write for an Audience of One
I attended a writer’s workshop where the speaker challenged us with this simple idea: You have to write, first and foremost, for yourself. If what you write inspires, challenges, and encourages you, then it has the chance to do the same for other readers. Your writing has to start out as a project to learn, grow, and discover what you believe about your subject.
If what we write doesn’t impact our lives, then we have nothing to offer our readers. If you long to write, start here. Spend time and energy developing your craft, allowing the words you put down to work in your heart and mind first.
Lesson #2: Do the Work
82% of people dream of writing a book. Yet for most, the dream never materializes. Why? The predominant reason is a lack of discipline, routine, and structure. Writing a book requires one to put their butt in a chair and write and write and write. Whether you feel like it or not. Whether you have the motivation or not. Writers, or any creatives for that matter, simply have to do the work.
Author Steven Pressfield says this: “There is a secret that real writers know that wannabe writer don’t, and the secret is this: It’s not the writing part that’s hard. What’s hard is sitting down to write.”
Real writers say no to a thousand other distractions, discouragements, and excuses, and commit to the discipline of writing. Word after word. Page after page. If your dream is to write a book, the trick is to start today. Set a goal for how much you want to write each day and get to work.
Lesson #3: Surrender the Outcome to God
I won’t lie. I would love God and Hamilton to reach a wide audience, sell thousands of copies, and land on all kinds of best seller lists. But the truth is it probably won’t. The deeper truth is that I have very little control over whether this book reaches tens, hundreds, or thousands of readers.
When I worry about how many people will buy my book, I carry anxiety and fear around with me everywhere I go. It weighs me down and robs me of joy. When I surrender the outcome, I find enormous freedom and peace. I trust God, believing he will use this project to impact lives. How many lives simply isn’t up to me. I must learn to find peace in the truth that I was faithful to the creative act and put my work out into the world. The scope of that impact is largely out of my hands.
Now that my book is out in the world, I feel an enormous amount of pride and satisfaction. It feels so rewarding to have accomplished one of my life goals. I would never have anticipated how much God would teach me through the process. I am so grateful, not only for the finished product but for the lessons God has taught me. These lessons have transformed my life and my relationship with God.
Waiting for the right person to come by can be frustrating. Over a seemingly unending period of waiting time, one will tend to compromise. Please, refrain from doing that, do not ever settle. It’s better for you to be lonely now than be with someone who would not lead you closer to Jesus.
I’ve thought up of 6 signs that a man is worth waiting for. And while everyone has different criteria, I believe, with my whole heart, these 6 qualities you should never compromise. Here goes :
1. He puts Jesus before anything else.
Loves Jesus like crazy, reads the bible and lives by it, prays as if there is no tomorrow. This quality is an absolute must. Ladies, if you desire for a Joshua 24 : 15 kind of family, you would want someone who will lead you and your children to Jesus.
2. He treats his family well.
Does he honor his parents? (Exodus 12 : 10) Guide his siblings? How he acts as a son in his current family is probably how he’s going to act as a husband when he owns a family. Especially, look at how he treats his mom, that is probably how he is going to treat his future wife. Look for a man who treats his mom like a queen.
3. Love others crazily and selflessly puts others before himself.
A living embodiment of 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8 who lives out Mark 12 : 31. Sacrificially goes to any length to lovingly help out anyone.
4. Humble and has a teachable heart.
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – 1 Peter 5 : 5
No one is perfect – no matter how godly a man is, he’s still imperfect and is bound to make mistakes. Look for a man who is humble enough to listen to you and is willing to be corrected and learn from his mistakes.
5. He controls his tongue.
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. – Proverbs 21 : 23
He has to be able to tame his tongue. Whatever comes out of his mouth should always be “such as is good for building up” (Ephesians 4 : 29). Don’t go for a man who hurts others with his mouth, even if he passes it as a joke (I’m heavily guilty of this). Blessing and cursing should never come from the same mouth (James 3 : 10). A man who can’t lead his own tongue will not be any better at leading a family.
6. He is goal oriented.
Go for someone who plans out things, has a goal in life and would work hard to reach that goal, or simply put, someone who leads himself well. You need someone who will be able to cast out God-given vision for his family and lead his family towards it and if he can’t lead himself, he won’t be able to do that.
Finding a man who meets all these ‘requirements’ is going to be really hard. I myself, am not even a close picture of this list. But it is better to set the bar high. Stay faithful, keep praying and shape yourself to be a woman worth finding. The right guy will come along, trust me. I’m no Joshua Harris and I’m inexperienced in this area, but I really pray that this list will keep you from dating the wrong people. You’re a princess of the most high King, you deserve a prince.
God works in mysterious ways sometimes! He will use who or what He deems crucial in order for us to learn a specific lesson.I know I sure did learn a very important lesson, two years ago, when I was at my lowest. At that time, the chronic pain I was suffering from was making me unable to walk very far and I had to start using a cane for most of my walking around. I was very depressed and I was having a hard time staying positive. I was praying, studying the Bible but my heart, felt heavy and I was discouraged.
I was in a place of doubts, more regarding my capabilities, not God’s of course! I was wondering if I was doing enough and I let those doubts control my thoughts which did not help at all to keep me hopeful. I felt very lonely since my dear husband was working but also trying is best to spend as much time as possible with me, I still found myself alone pretty often and it was making me crazy.
One day, I had the great idea of getting a dog! Did I know anything about having a dog? No. But I thought for sure, this would solve my problems and my husband being so comprehensive, agreed.
The next week, I go get this cute little puppy that I named Chloe! That poodle would eventually rock my world! You see, I’m an only child and I never was able to have children, so right then and there it should give you a clue of how much maternal instincts I had! After one week, I was ready to bring her back. After 1 month, I was lacking sleep to a degree that made me wish I could have enough strength to get to the nearest bridge and jump off of it!
My Dog Brought Me Closer to God
My Dog Brought Me Closer to God
My Dog Brought Me Closer to God
After one year, even after watching countless hours of training videos, of having the best food for her, reading the best books, going to a trainer and being available to her 24/7, I could no longer deal with that stress. I was already at my wits’ end with the chronic pain being unbearable, the sleepless nights, and the anxiety was at its worst. I did what I thought was right and put her for adoption. Yes, I know how you feel”¦I hated myself too at that point!
I’m pretty certain it’s exactly at that moment that God intervened. Well, He must have been there for a long time, I just didn’t realize it, I was too busy being stressed out!
Our dear God, whom I love so much, had a plan. He was going to teach me a very profound lesson on perseverance, love, and courage! And so He did.
After receiving that call from that lady who was going to adopt Chloe, I spend the last 2 days crying like a baby, thinking I was the meanest woman on this planet! Who could be this cold as too get rid of a small dog, that I had wanted all along, so what was wrong with me?Chloe knew something was wrong because, for the first time in one year, she became very still, calm, and could not stop looking at me, more “staring” at me and wanted to always be very close to me. A lot of staring was done on her part. I could not get why she suddenly changed so fast and so much. So, I cried even more, thinking this lady was now coming in a few hours. I started praying so hard, asking God to guide me, to help me make the right decision. I was so convinced that I was not the mother Chloe needed. I thought for sure, that’s why I couldn’t have any children: I would’ve been a miserable mommy! Oh, I was going downhill and fast!
The time came and went, without any signs of the lady. I called her twice, messaged her twice and we stood by the door waiting for hours, thinking she would eventually arrive. She never did.
That night, Chloe and I became best friends. I totally opened my heart to her and I think she did the same. I’m telling you, I could feel God’ presence with us, and I understood what He wanted for me and why He decided to send me Chloe. I now had to take courage and keep the faith we would become a great team.It was a question of faith: In God, in Chloe and in me!
You see, I was so busy convincing myself, I could certainly not be a good “mother” to this dog, since my mom was in no way a good role model, that I was preventing God to use Chloe to fill something in my life and more so, to enable me to play a role I had never played before. This role I would have to play it with confidence, love, and perseverance.This would in the long run, show me, I could care for someone properly and that I would’ve been a good mother! I needed to get in touch with that part of me that had not been activated. Yes, it’s just a dog! For a lot of people, animals are “just” animals and they don’t really care for them but for me, Chloe has become my daughter, my hope in a better me. I was able to take courage and start taking care of her with less anxiety and with more calmness. She was, of course, feeling all my stress, and I was surely stressing her out! But, God filled me with something I did not know I could have and I have been enjoying it for the last year.
Now, my dog and I, have a great relationship. She loves me so much, it’s unbelievable. She understands me very quickly and when my health is not at its best, she never leaves my side. She cuddles and stays with me for hours without asking anything in return except a few hugs and kisses which I gladly give her.
I did not understand how God sometimes works. He does what He has to do, so we can learn our lesson and become closer to Him in the long run. If it takes a dog to do it; He will get a dog and the next thing you know, you are buying dog’s clothes which you specifically said you would never buy. You find yourself staring at those beautiful brown eyes and you get happy just seeing that little dog running around without a care in the world.
The day God brought me to Chloe, I embarked on a very hard journey. But that journey permitted me to discover myself and also to transform my attitude. To start thinking that “I could” instead of thinking that “I couldn’t”!
So, next time, God brings in your life, something or someone, you did not expect, don’t be surprised if your life gets thrown upside down for a while. It’s part of His plan anyway. We often need to be shaken up a bit, to finally be able to properly understand the lesson.
A little “shaken up” does a body good sometimes! Even more so, if our Believed Father, is doing the shaking!
Why are you so downcast? You hang your head down, just ‘getting on with life’, but not truly living. Do you not know that you have victory because of Jesus? Your identity lies with Christ, not with what the world throws at you. You are not your mistakes, you are not your physical appearance, you are not your job, your relationships or your possessions (however grand or meager), you are who GOD says you are.
It is incredibly easy to accept all the negative things of the world. We so readily believe what the world tells us and yet doubt the truths of the Bible. Bit by bit, we are being weighed down by the pressures of society, the pressure to get a well-paying job, the pressure to achieve at school, the pressure of being better than the next person, the pressure of getting married- even when you’re not ready- and even the pressure of accepting beliefs that are not your own. When does it all stop? The truth is, it can only stop with you. You have to decide to trust GOD’S Word above all else and live according to His Word. Perhaps you believe that you have already tried living your life according to GOD’S Word, but it hasn’t worked out for you. I’m going to have to be truthful and say that you probably were not following GOD’S Word, but a watered down version of it. The reality is, we do not want to give up our negative world- we do not want to give up our comfort with the patterns of the world. When you’re not Christain, you do not have much of a choice but to live according to the sway of the world, but when you are, in fact, a Christian, you no longer have that excuse to use for the condition that your life is in. You have no excuse to think negatively, you have no excuse to speak negatively and you have no excuse to accept anything negative.
You do not have to live a life of defeat. I repeat you do not have to live a life of defeat. What did Jesus say in John 10:10: “The thief does not come in except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly.” Jesus came so that you would have a more abundant life! Don’t immediately associate abundance with riches and fame, but instead think about what having a more abundant life means. I think of having joy, peace, security, love, grace, mercy and hope in abundance, and I believe that is what Jesus actually meant. Riches and fame do not make one happy- just take a look at the celebrities. Divorce, substance abuse, violence, and unhappiness are rife among them, despite their wealth and the adoration of their fans. You do not need to be rolling in money or popular with people to have an abundant life, but that doesn’t mean that you have to be poor and alone either. You see, our Heavenly Father already knows what we need, be it food, clothing, a job, or a roof over our heads etc. But be honest with yourself, what matters to you more: attaining your hoard of desired materialistic possessions or seeking a relationship with GOD? I’ll let you in on a ‘secret’ so well-known, that it’s universally dismissed for its simplicity: “But seek first the kingdom of GOD and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matt 6:33).What are all these things that Jesus is talking about? “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” (Matt 6:25). What Jesus is basically saying is that you need to stop worrying about these things, and instead focus on seeking a relationship with GOD. You focus on GOD and He will make sure that you have all that you need. Simple right? Because it is! The world tells us that it’s not possible, but Jesus commanded us not to worry. You say that you follow Jesus, so are you going to ignore the world and obey Him?
So, what does it mean to walk in victory? First of all, it means that we do not have to be afraid of death! John 11:25 says: “Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.” We have an eternity of being in GOD’S sweet presence in Heaven! You don’t have to be worried about dying- a thought that plagues most of the world- you will die knowing where you are going. And if your loved ones are also saved, then you will all meet again. Having victory also means that even though we may go through trials and difficulties, that we can have peace- “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace” (John 16:33). We do not have to be stressed, full of anxiety and fear. Look at Philippians 4:6-7: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to GOD; and the peace of GOD, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Don’t remain in your state of anxiety, please! Paul the Apostle tells you what to do- pray! Pray, give your worries to GOD, let Him know of your petitions and be thankful to Him. Even when everything is going wrong, remain thankful- it drives the devil wild with anger. When you present your requests to Him, peace will fill your heart. Don’t try to understand it, just accept it. Be child-like when receiving from our LORD, don’t question His gifts to us, accept them and say thank you. Not only that, say thank you before you’ve even received what you have prayed for. Most importantly, do not limit GOD in your life because of your own doubts and insecurities. Choose to believe Him, even when there is no evidence before you- “For we walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7).
In Acts 10:34, Peter tells us that GOD does not show favoritism towards anyone, what He does for one He will do for the other. Stop saying: I believe that GOD can do it, I just don’t believe that He will do it for me. Of course, He will do it for you! It’s your own disbelief that blocks your blessings in your life. Ephesians 3:20 says: “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,…” Did you get that? GOD can do way more than you could ever ask of Him. Our GOD is so mighty and loving, He longs to bless you, but even more than that, He longs to have a relationship with you. The ball is in your court, so what are you going to do about it? Are you going to continue feeling downtrodden and defeated, or are you going to live a victorious life in Christ Jesus?
Ending Thoughts: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which GOD prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Eph 2:10). You’ve got a purpose, Beloved, time to take your place within the kingdom of GOD and fulfill the plans that He has for you.
Following Douglas MacKinnon’s article, published April 21st, 2018, on the Fox News website, the former White House and Pentagon official, plus author, raised this very delicate question:
How long will I be allowed to remain a Christian?
This question sent me into a very complex journey.M. MacKinnon, asks why do so many, not practice the very simple rule of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.It is regarding the fact the many Christian citizens of the United States are under the impression their faith is not respected. It has been ridiculed, diminished and attacked on a daily basis.
Will this persecution, Christian families face, eventually cause them to renounce their faith in order for them to keep their job so they can provide for their families?
What God says about keeping faith
Jesus told us if we were to believe in Him, we too would be persecuted. It is obvious that many suffer physically for being Christians, in different parts of the world. Many of us are free from physical persecution but still are suffering for our faith. But it is very important to recognize there is a big difference in the way we experience our faith depending on the area we actually live in this world.
1 Peter 2.23
When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; when He was abused and suffered, He made not threats of vengeance; but He trusted Himself and everything, to Him Who judges fairly.
God knew we would struggle with unbelief because persecution often brings us to questioning our faith! But God shares many scriptures in the Bible to help us during those times.
1 Thessalonians 2:13
And we also thank God continually because when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a HUMAN WORD, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is indeed at work in you who believe.
I took the time to ask a very good friend of mine, my pastor, what were his thoughts on that matter. Here’s what he said:
Persecution toward Christians is very edifying! You basically are a Christian or not. Persecution separates those who wish to follow the Lord and those who will eventually stop. It defines the Christian. It pushes him/her to make sincere and difficult choices.
We become desperate during persecution time, but you also live incredible things with God through that! You bow down, kneel down and look to God.
Sometimes in our faith, we become very comfortable, indifferent or even complacent. We lose our thirst for God. But during times of persecution, it can bring us back to where we should be.Our relationship becomes more intimate as we grow in our faith, as we are willing to accept suffering as a privilege.
On a personal note, I was sick with C Difficile for many months and it brought me close to death, but it also made me realise how special of a relationship I have with our Father.I felt at one point, lying on that hospital bed, there was just Him and me, staring at each other. He asked me one question: Do you still believe?
We know all the hardship will either make us stronger or we will lose our faith. We just can’t “believe” only when life is easy. But if we expect it -persecution, just like Jesus told us too, we can prepare for it.
We need not to forget that God intervenes during persecution. History shows us there are revivals and awakenings in different parts of the world, which has brought millions and millions of people to God when there was no hope left. (Beardsley, 1912)
Our God is not shaken by what might happen in the world or by what gets to be written in the newspaper even if it is a bit scary and sometimes, discouraging. Our God is strong. That’s why we need to rely on Him, look to Him only and read very carefully His words. Take courage in them. They will surely bring you peace when nothing else can.
There is this certain sense of belonging, wanting to be known that lives inside each of us. We want the familiar state of being in a place where we feel safe, loved, and adored. For many, our memories are thrown back to the home we grew up. Scents of homemade cooking. Holiday celebrations. Laughter and giggles fill the room.
We long for THIS to stay with us all of the time.
And yet, this feeling eludes us.
Because we are not home yet.
In our text today found in 2 Corinthians 5:1-9, Paul encourages us not to fixate our eyes on the things of this world. Rather, remind ourselves that this place is not our home. Our temporal bodies where we reside are like a flimsy tent. Here today. Gone tomorrow. However, too often, we care too much about the here and now.
We focus on our flimsy tent, rather than our eternal dwelling. We fixate on skinny bodies, and how to look 10 (or more) years younger. We slather on our wrinkle cream and hope the bags under our eyes will dissipate. We long. We wish. Oh, how we desire to look and feel much better.
When we’re having a bad day and this world seems to engulf us, we must remind ourselves…we just ain’t home yet. When thinking of home, it’s much more than just a structure. For me, what’s most important is the people that abide within it. Now that I have two kids in college, I find myself longing for them to be home. The nest feels half-empty everytime that they go. Paul describes heaven not merely as a place. He describes heaven as being with the Lord…you see, it’s about the relationship.
Many of us feel at odds when we consider “What will happen when I die?” We don’t think longingly about heaven because we’re not intimate with Jesus right now. Instead of our future home bringing us comfort, it seems like a far-off land. We prefer to find our comfort in the things we can see with our own two eyes.
God has given us the Holy Spirit as a guarantee that we will go to heaven. If you don’t have this assurance, will you please send me a comment. We can be sure of where we’re going. “We walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor. 5:7).
When you think of the word home, does Jesus come to mind? Because really…when you get right to the point…he is the ultimate security blanket we can find.
Recently I’ve been on a spiritual journey that includes deep prayer, meditation, and mindfulness to help me to connect with God. At the same time, I’ve also been on the hunt for some low-impact stretching that could potentially help with chronic pain in a natural way.
Meditation and stretching. Put those two together and what do you get?
Yoga.
So, I’ve said I need to stretch. And I find that meditation brings me closer to God. These all naturally come together in the form of yoga. But, as a Christian, should I do yoga? Am I allowed? Will Jesus love me less?
Well, first, let’s see”¦what does the Bible say about the word “yoga”? Nothing. Zero. There’s no record of that word being used.
So now what do I do? Since the Bible doesn’t talk about yoga specifically, I have to use the brains God gave me to dig a bit deeper. Then I can determine how best to deal with this current cultural trend.
Let’s start with a few of the basics:
Yoga began as a spiritual disciple in Hindu which includes breath control, meditation, and static postures of the body. Some people who practice yoga are active Hindus or Buddhists. Many are not.
In the western world, yoga is a broad term that is often descriptive of people engaging in the physical body postures that encourage strength and stamina. Sometimes this is combined with meditation for mental strength, but not exclusively. Some yoga classes used sacred words such as “Om”, “Namaste”, and certain chants that hint to Buddhism and Hinduism. Other classes make no reference to the spiritual world at all and are simply a form of physical exercise. Yoga potures have Sanskrit names that have spiritual meanings. Many times these are replaced with English names that simply describe the form the body is taking. (For instance, “lotus” has become “criss-cross applesauce”.)
The word “yoga” in Sanskrit means “yoke” or “union with God”. God tells me to not worship another god, and I must obey.
So I know that yoga started as an ancient spiritual practice of another religion which should lead me to move forward with caution. But I also know that Jesus came to redeem all things.
Is it possible to engage in a moderated form of yoga that feeds our Christian souls, or should we avoid it altogether? Can we be aware of the potential pitfalls and dangers of the spiritual side of yoga and then practice it in a meaningful way with a Christian bent and attitude?
The famous American minister John Piper seems to think that we can’t. He says we should avoid yoga completely, citing it as antithetical to Christianity.
Don’t get me wrong, I think Piper has some good things to offer. But in this situation I tend to think that maybe he’s throwing the proverbial “baby out with the bathwater”.
Christians have often taken “secular” symbols or practices and re-stored them into something that is healthy and even God-glorifying. Take Christmas, for example. December 25, the day on which we now celebrate Jesus’ birth, was reclaimed from the pagans. That date was redeemed from a pagan holiday to a Christian celebration.
Jesus has come to redeem all things. Even pagan holidays. Possibly even stretching and meditation and breathing?
Over the ages, Christians have used wisdom and the discernment to choose what is right for them as individuals and as a Body of believers. To apply Jesus’ redemption to various non-Christian things.
“Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.” 1 Corinthians 10:23
So I need to decide if yoga could be beneficial (or detrimental) to me. In my case, I truly believe God has given me the wisdom and discernment to be able to stretch and strengthen my body without accidentally worshipping a false god. I even believe that I can meditate and breathe while I simultaneously reflect and contemplate how incredible God is. All without slipping into the devil’s snare.
But I am aware that this may not be the case for all people.
Personally, think that I can apply the idea of a “yoke” or “union with God” in yoga to my relationship with Christ. But that doesn’t mean I’ll just sign up for any yoga class that is offered. I need to be wise and first ask questions about how spiritual a class is before taking it. For my own purposes, I tend to learn at home with videos, so there’s not much of a risk of me getting caught in an awkward situation. If something gets a little weird, I can just turn it off.
Holy Yoga is a practice that is gaining traction, offering the grounding of the Gospel while reframing the positive aspects of yoga in a Christian way.
“Holy Yoga embraces the essential elements of yoga: breath work, meditation and physical postures. In all of these elements, Christ is the focus of our intention and worship.”
So as I‘m making a decision about yoga (or anything in my life!), I need to ask if it creates a risk of becoming a detriment to my walk with Jesus. If so, then I absolutely shouldn’t do it! But if yoga can be practiced in a way that is healthy to my body and mind, while drawing me closer to Christ with mindfulness and meditation, then is it possible that even John Piper can’t argue with that?
Living in an over-sexualized culture, we hear messages about sex, wrong messages. These messages become more a part of us than God’s truth because we hear them repetitively and churches are scared to address sexuality.
For too long, I believed the world’s message about sex. That it’s a superficial, feel-good avenue to self-satisfaction. Wrong, partly. God did design sex to feel good!
But, there is more than that. He designed it for profound spiritual, physical, and emotional connection. It is just a shadow of things to come.
God’s design of sex is too amazing to keep silent about.
Here are five truths about God’s design of sex in marriage.
God designed sex to be bonding.
Not only spiritually bonding, but emotionally and physically. When the two become one flesh, biochemicals are released in our bodies like oxytocin and dopamine. Oxytocin, especially, is a bonding chemical. When I embraced this truth and started engaging in the marriage bed more, the tone of our marriage completely changed.
“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24 (NIV).
God designed sex for both husband and wife to experience pleasure.
It’s an equal opportunity activity. Why else would there be a clitoris? It’s only function is for pleasure. The Song of Solomon is full of beautiful poetic language about the pleasures of physical love for both spouses.
If one spouse struggles with the ultimate moment, there are Christian resources available to help the couple understand how to achieve mutual enjoyment.
“The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved,” Song of Solomon 7:13 (NIV).
God designed sex so that we would know yearning.
Before you were married, you yearned for your fianc. Not only did you crave your fiance’s touch, you craved his/her presence and knowing him/her better. Even after years of marriage, it is good to remember this yearning. It mirrors how God desires us to yearn for him. I believe this is one reason he frequently uses the marriage as a symbol of his relationship with us throughout the Bible.
“Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?” James 4:5 (NIV).
God designed the marriage bed to be a place to show the fruit of the Spirit.
Peace, patience, love, joy, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control are the foundation of all Christian life, especially the marriage bed. All conflict surrounding the marriage bed can be managed through employing these key traits.
My own marriage endured a long season of mismatched sex drives. It was through these qualities and some wise communication tools that we overcame our conflict.
God designed sex as a powerful mystery.
Biblical stories of sex often confused me when I was young. There was some nasty stuff in the old testament, the rape of Dinah, Lot and his daughters, the men of Gibeah clammering for the male visitor, Leviticus 20. And yet, there is the beautiful Song of Solomon. The New Testament seemed to prefer celibacy, to be honest. As a teenager, I couldn’t understand why I liked thinking about sex if it was disgraceful and violent.
But, as an adult, I realized the stories were teaching me that sexual intimacy is powerful and mysterious. It’s OK not to have it all figured out, as long as you respect the power it holds to do good when it is aligned with God’s perfect design.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts,” Isaiah 55:8-9.
Final Thoughts
Don’t let the world’s message of cheap sex destroy the meaningful sex in your marriage. Sex may only be a small portion of the whole of your marriage. However, sex matters. It especially matters if one spouse is more interested than the other. When we ignore its power and importance in marriage, the relationship suffers.
Now, granted chronic health issues can affect sexual function and that’s a more complicated story.
Most of us have grown up with many popular fairy tales told to us as children. The legendary story “Little Red Riding Hood” In most versions (although definitely not all of them) there is one common theme: a wolf attacks a young woman through deception. Like parables, such stories are never intended to convey meaning in every detail. Yet, much of it may draw, even in unsuspecting ways, the reader to precepts or principles pertinent to circumstances behind the story. Such is the following on Little Red Riding Hood.
There is actually a lesson in that theme for God’s people today.
1. The Church. Satan’s wolves do more than disguise themselves as Granny. As Paul warned, they often present themselves as “ministers of righteousness” (2 Corinthians 11:15). Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheeps clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
“That’s a lie!” said the wolf. “You won’t die!”
2. The Law. One of the most common deceptions by these types of wolves is the claim that the law was done away with. Using selective sections of the apostle Paul’s writings, these wolves deceive people into crying, “Oh, what freedom you have!”
This was the very same tactic that Satan employed in the Garden of Eden.
3. False prophets. While these people appear to be godly—they come in sheep’s clothing—Christ said that inwardly they were “ravenous wolves” (Matthew 7:15). These are people who claim to be children of God—but who don’t teach and live the word.
Another Fake Jesus Christ was recently arrested and remanded in Uganda on Thursday, November 9th, for belonging and managing an unlawful society by the Magistrate’s court. According to a report by Uganda’s Newspaper, Daily Monitor, the accused claimed not to be under any authority including the police, local council administration or the president of Uganda. The man purporting to be Jesus was arraigned in court alongside his three followers who preferred to be identified with their alias names.
“Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?”
4. The world. Wake up from your Slumber. Frequently in Scripture believers are exhorted to wake up, to be revived, and they are warned of the dangers of spiritual sleep. Christ warned us “Go your way; behold, I send you out as lambs among wolves” (Luke 10:3). The world is under the sway of Satan.
As a believer in Jesus, we are promised a new life covered under the protection of God in which NOTHING can separate us from His love. Rest knowing that no matter what hardship you face, God is your provider and protector! Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of the wolf, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
5. Wealth. These wolves say, “all this I will give you if you will bow down and worship me.” Christ warned of the “deceitfulness of riches” (Matthew 13:22; Mark 4:19). Your response should be“Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
“There was something wolfish about them?”
6. Marriage How many times have we heard the story of the little red riding hood (aka Christian Sister or Brother) who fell in love with a big bad Wolf?‘It wasn’t beauty, it was the beast, she or he says in regret. Being equally yoked is not meant to inhibit our dating lives. Rather, it is a command designed for protection and honor. Being unequally yoked is more dangerous than you think – and waiting for someone with whom you share the same spiritual heritage is far more rewarding than many believe.
Hey, Little Red Riding Hood, where are you going, so alone, so”¦ alone?
7. Relationship. Without Jesus, you can do nothing. An intimate relationship with God is required. That means fellowship with God daily. The big bad wolf was disguised to trick little red riding hood, but the wolf could not mislead her because Little red riding hood knew her grandmother intimately. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. – John 10:27”
“You can huff and puff but I will not worship you!”
8. Worship. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, “We don’t need to answer your last question. If our God, whom we honor, can save us from a blazing furnace and from your power, he will, Your Majesty. Nebuchadnezzar was so filled with anger toward Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego that his face turned red and he ordered that the furnace should be heated seven times hotter than normal. However, God commissions His angels to save His chosen ones from calamity, to guard them against “the pestilence that walketh in darkness” and “the destruction that wasteth at noonday.”
These eight types (or packs, if you will) of “wolves” have plagued Christ’s followers throughout history.
These are just a few of the tricks and deceptions that are used by Satan and his wolves. Some wolves are masters of deception and disguise. They talk like Christians. They use the Bible. They seem like nice people. They are so loving! But they will draw you in to eat you for dinner!
God’s people must learn the lesson of Little Red Riding Hood. Let’s never allow ourselves to fall prey to the Satan’s deceptions.
Most days I moonlight as a lube technician/oil change guy. It’s how I pay my bills. It’s during this wonderfully flexible job that I hear some of the most uninformed people making crazy declarations they believe to be truth. They will stand on sinking sand and claim that they are perched on the mountain.
I was helping one customer when I recommended that something on his vehicle be serviced. It was the rear differential oil (for those of you who know what that is), and it looked like it had water in it. (For those that don’t know, you never want water in any of your vehicle fluids). When he realized what I was showing him, he declared with gusto, “Warranty will take care of that!”
Unfortunately, and this customer will soon find out, that isn’t how vehicle warranty works. And the same is true for our salvation.
When you buy a vehicle, new or used, most car dealerships will include some kind of warranty. Sometimes it is for 5 years, others offer 7. In rare case, a dealership will offer you “lifetime warranty”. What is often missed or misunderstood are the conditions in which warranty works.
Just because something breaks on your car doesn’t guarantee that warranty will cover it. Some warranties are only for the engine. Some are strictly for the transmission. There are other warranties, with their clever wording and clauses in fine print, that will expire at a certain time or mileage, whichever comes first. Even with these restrictions, you are not guaranteed a new engine under warranty should it break down. You may still have time and mileage before your warranty runs out, but you may not get the repair done for free.
When you buy your vehicle, you sign a contract stating that you will maintain the vehicle. You will change the oil in the engine. You will make sure that there is oil in the transmission. You will make sure that there is no water in any of the vehicle fluids, so not to rust out important moving parts.
If you don’t maintain your vehicle, or if you don’t pay someone to do these check and changes for you, there is the very real possibility that your warranty will be void. It will be no good. You will make a claim, saying that your engine is broken, but if they find out that you never changed the oil, it won’t matter. Your warranty won’t cover it. You will have violated the rules and arrangements you signed and stated you would follow.
Some people believe that when you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior that life will suddenly become easier. “Jesus is Lord, he’s the master of my life. He’ll fix everything” is a the assumption. Because we have this salvation, a “deal” with God, that suddenly everything is taken care of. “There is nothing more that I have to do now that I am saved.”
This idea about salvation is just as wrong as vehicle warranty.
This isn’t a downplaying of salvation or the importance of it. But saying a few words or the Sinner’s Prayer doesn’t grant us a problem-free life. Praying a prayer, asking Christ to be your Lord and Savior is about entering into a relationship. It’s like the signing of an agreement. It’s the start, it’s the beginning of a kind of deal that requires your involvement, something like having vehicle warranty. You have a part to play, there are things for you do to, and you need to be aware of that. Whether you are evanglizing to other people or processing your own faith journey, you need to know that warranty and salvation aren’t enough. That isn’t the end. It is just the beginning.
Salvation Calls You To Work
“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say,
“You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.”- James 2:14-18
The letter from James says that saving faith is the start, but it doesn’t end there. Simply believing, having found salvation in Jesus Christ is not enough. Salvation, this spiritual deal with Jesus, isn’t a guarantee that doesn’t require anything of us. On the contrary, it demands that you act.
Salvation needs to be followed up by works. James says, “I will show you my faith by my deeds.” I will prove to you that I have salvation through faith in Christ, and the proof is in what I am doing. I cannot sit still and simply hold on to this salvation. I have to demonstrate it to the world. That is what I must do. That is part of the deal.
This isn’t to say that we are forced to do good deeds. Christ doesn’t become a taskmaster, whipping us into doing these things. Doing good deeds should be an expression of our faith, a visualization of the joy that we found and want to share with the world.
Salvation doesn’t give us a free pass to be complacent or inactive. In fact, it should drive us to be that much more active. Show the world the faith, the salvation that you have found through good works.
Salvation Provokes You To Growth
I’ve talked about salvation being similar to signing a contract or making a deal, but that is a very poor analogy. The truth is that salvation is a part of the relationship with God that we get to have because of faith in Jesus Christ.
With every relationship though comes a challenge. We need to grow. Staying at the beginning of the relationship will not work. You have to mature, get to know the other person in the relationship. You have to figure out what they like and don’t like, even if that other person is God.
The Apostle Paul knew that being at the beginning of a relationship, like being a kid, was fine for a time (1 Cor. 13:11). But you can’t stay a kid forever, nor can you live forever at the beginning of a relationship. Even with God. You have to grow past the point of salvation, into deeper relationship with God.
What might that look like? Paul answers that question a few verses later.
“Follow the way of love and eagerly desire gifts of the Spirit, especially prophecy.”- 1 Corinthians 14:1
To start to grow in relationship, to move beyond the beginning, we need to follow the way of love and desire the gifts of the Spirit. The way of love is found in Jesus. The way he lived, the things that he spoke of when he was on the earth, these are the things that we need to be following and living out. Praying for those that persecute us. Giving to those that are in need. These are just a few of the ways to follow the way of love.
These are the things that we should be seeking. These are the evidence that our relationship with God is not stagnant, that it is not still at the beginning. The fruit of the Spirit, as it grows and develops in your life, is evidence that you are maturing from a child into an adult. You are responding to the salvation you found in Christ, and seeping your relationship with God.
A relationship with depth is far superior to any kind of deal or contract signed. Seek a deep relationship with God.
Are you stuck working with a project manager who is manipulative and dishonest? If you are, you’re not alone!
Today’s workplace is a cut-throat environment with everyone trying to get ahead in some way, shape, or form. It’s no surprise that there are malicious, sneaky project managers who will do anything to get a leg up to succeed or survive, even if it means throwing you under the bus. Like a clever politician, these project managers keep their desires hidden, but underneath a friendly and charming exterior is a highly destructive individual whose goals are power and control. Pretending to pursue the greater good, he or she adopts the mantra of “company first” with a fervency that inspires admiration and respect, and most people accept his or hers claims of a selfless pursuit of noble causes.
Regardless of your industry, profession, experience level or company, these manipulative people exist and, if given the right opportunity, they can ruin your reputation and career prospects. They’ll tell you that the entire team hates you, thinks you’re arrogant, stupid, or incompetent, and attempt to manipulate you into believing that their opinions are objective facts. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology called it “social undermining” and “bottom line mentality.”
“According to a recent survey, roughly 90% of folks who read this post are presently working with at least one person who, mentally, would be described as a manipulator”.
Proving yourself in a new organization is hard enough. When someone manipulates and lies about you, it can hurt your relationships, your reputation, and your career. Luckily, Project Journal has 3 tips for effectively dealing with this workplace danger.
1. Don’t Ignore Your Gut
I should’ve seen it coming. Unfortunately, there isn’t a clear-cut answer to the question “Friend or foe.” If you find yourself putting up your guard around a co-worker, you might wonder if you’re imagining things and being paranoid? Well, maybe you are, but under no circumstances should you ignore your feeling. From experience, this is often the very first sign of trouble. Weak leaders sometimes resort to emotional deceit as a weapon for getting things done. Try to consider facts objectively. Manipulation is normally felt, rather than heard or seen, so you must listen to your gut.
What makes you mistrust this person? Do they constantly gossip? If so, be careful as those who gossip to you, will probably be doing the same about you too and like Mom always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Plus, you don’t want to get caught up in the drama when people find out about this control freak’s gossiping.
Trust that you will be thrown under the bus when “stuff” hits the fan. If you’re still unsure, you should run their behaviour by objective people you trust. As trust is built on the foundations of a good relationship, instead of basing trust on someone’s words, observe their deeds.
2. Dealing with a Bad Apple
There’s a lot to be said for the old saying, “One bad apple can spoil the whole barrel.” Not only is that true for fruit, but it holds a lot of merit in the work environment. Rude behavior is contagious. Toxic manipulative employees have an unhealthy ripple effect that harms co-workers, managers, and subordinates alike. They lack positive personality traits, such as genuine concern for others, a generous and understanding nature, a desire to teach and encourage, a desire to have straightforward dealings with others. They dwell in a very dark place lit only by their own ambition.
“It takes just one malicious employee among the ranks to wreak havoc on your team’s culture.”
Healthy human interactions are not dominated by manipulation. If you feel you can’t trust them, don’t. Manipulators do not communicate openly. Instead, they resort to flattery or play the victim to gain your trust and sympathy. Through artful, indirect and devious methods, they influence and control others and have a fair amount of social support, most likely because no one wants to be on their bad side. But that doesn’t mean their behavior isn’t harmful.
Your priority in this situation must be to protect your professional standing. Begin documenting every instance of destructive behavior and take it to a higher authority. When a co-worker starts manipulating you and ignoring the behavior doesn’t work, distance yourself, if possible and keep all correspondences. When colleagues try to sabotage you, they might tell you lies to cause you to make mistakes. The more you cover yourself, the less you have to worry about. Change your passwords, shut down your computer when you leave your desk, and keep sensitive documents under lock and key. Remember to “choose your words carefully when sending emails so that things you write can’t come back to bite you. Unfortunately, if you lose your cool, you will be in danger of looking undignified.”
“When you know what a man wants you know who he is, and how to move him.”
’- George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords
It can be tempting to excuse the antagonistic worker who seems zealous about his job, but clearly, those employees may be undermining the entire workforce. Being direct lets the other person know you’re aware of their manipulative behavior, and in some cases, that may be enough to nip it in the bud. If you stay out of their world of negativity, you will be a much more difficult target for their manipulation.
3. Counteracting Sabotage
Manipulators are blind to the serious defects in their character, but keenly aware of the slightest weakness or imperfection in others. They are judgmental, suspicious, demanding and calculating, all negative personality characteristics. Even their outward charm is cold and calculated. Before you can deal with the situation, you need to understand the impact.
Is it a small lie with little effect? Is it a big lie that requires damage control or even legal action? Consider how others might view the situation. Although it may be difficult, the best choice might be simply to move on as the people who make it in the long-term are the ones who are honest, hardworking and able to maintain their professionalism.
“According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, workplace sabotage is on the rise in this difficult economy.”
If you choose to directly address the situation. It is critical to use neutral language and tone of voice. Do not stoop to their level, it is important to keep your integrity. Consider having witnesses to your conversation so it’s not your word against theirs.
Your final action can be accepting an apology and moving on, or it can be reporting the lie to a higher authority. In extreme cases, it can be making a formal complaint or hiring an attorney. It’s smart to search for job postings, even when you have no intention to quit. Obviously, you don’t want to let one bad apple lead to your resignation but, if nothing else, knowing you have options can help you feel more empowered and in control of the situation.
Other signs sabotage may be in the works: You don’t receive a promotion or responsibilities you logically should have gotten; cold or averse behavior from management that is (seemingly) out of nowhere; sudden and unexplained alienation by individual co-workers or even entire cliques; or unwarranted and continuous kind behavior from someone that was formerly aloof, ambivalent or even aggressive.
Manipulative behavior is widespread, but fortunately, it doesn’t exist everywhere. Do you have manipulative co-workers? How do you dodge their requests and still manage to pave a successful career path? Tell us what you think?
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Some senior members of staff see procurement expenses as a necessary evil and overlook any efficiency improvement methods for this sector. This is not an uncommon way of thinking, as procurement and the supply chain is a massive part of any company’s costs and can total up to 70% of an organisation’s total spend.
These managers are missing out on effective changes that can shift procurement to a significant supplier of growth and profit for any business.
Follow these 7 steps to improve your procurement team.
1. Embrace Change
It’s so important for procurement managers to embrace and invest in technology changes currently taking place in the industry.
Managers should hold a full assessment of deficiencies in their processors and search for technology that meets the needs of the business, rather than fitting the business around new technology. For example, if you are having trouble with historic and retrospective analysis, invest in predictive analytics.
2. Consider Outsourcing
Outsourcing may not be an avenue you have ever considered in regards to procurement, even though it happens all the time with HR and IT departments. Even so, many procurement managers are still apprehensive to apply it to their supply chain.
Outsourcing certain aspects of procurement can be a way of improving existing systems and processors rather than a cost reduction measure. It can also allow your business to access highly skilled procurement experts when it would be counter-productive to hire someone internally. These individuals are often very focused on delivering results, and if you plan outsourcing correctly, the increase in productivity will outweigh the costs of outsourcing.
If a procurement manager feels like there are areas in the business where costs can be cut, it might be worth bringing in a consultant. There are also outsourcing services that offer expert domain knowledge and vendor contact opportunities.
3. Ensure Your Supply Chain Is Properly Staffed
The efficiency of a supply chain is very much dependent on the quality of its staff. As a procurement manager, it’s important to ensure that the supply chain is staffed with highly skilled individuals, and that these staff have regular access to education and training.
Procurement professionals will be tasked with a wide variety of roles, including:
Planning delivery timetables
Ensuring stores have enough stock
Overseeing the arrival of shipments
When hiring employees, it’s important to ensure they have skills such as communication, attention to detail and teamwork. They must also be willing to learn and improve throughout their career.
4. Create Risk Management Policies
One of the key ways of making a procurement team more efficient is to prepare for the unexpected. Procurement managers should establish proper levels of control to manage risk and ensure that all these policies are periodically reviewed. These risk management fail safes should include:
The financial impact a risk might have
The likelihood to the risk occurring
A priority list for managing risks
All staff members should be aware of these risks, and the processes in place if the risks occur. For example, if a major supplier goes out of business, your staff should be aware that there is a process for contacting secondary suppliers so you are never left without stock.
5. Establish Relationships with Key Suppliers
Staff who deal with suppliers on a daily basis need to have brilliant relationship building skills. Procurement employees need to work closely with suppliers to try and keep communication consistent and amicable, even if issues arise at either end.
Suppliers can help procurement teams reach their performance goals, and they are often very knowledgeable, with expertise to share about their products. Procurement teams can learn a lot from them, like the audience, seasonality and key selling points of products; it’s worth working on these relationships.
6. Stick to Ambitious but Manageable Targets
If a team has a tough but not unattainable goal to work towards they can prioritise, measure and focus on their tasks with a clear end in mind. This helps staff members feel more motivated and gives meaning to their work.
There will also be a sense of achievement when the targets are met, bringing your team closer together and improving teamwork.
7. Efficiency Is Attainable
The creation of a brilliant supply chain depends on your company’s understanding of procurement, along with the procurement team’s estimation of the total costs associated with each supplier and their contacts.
With help from technology, outsourcing, a great team and strong relationship building skills, your procurement team should improve its efficiency and business impact.
The Nigerian construction industry is mostly concerned with the development and provision of projects such as roads, bridges, railways, residential and commercial real estates, and the maintenance necessary for the socio-economic developments contributes immensely to the Nigerian economic growth (Bureau of Statistics, 2015). Butcher and demmers (2003) described projects as an idea which begins and ends by filling a need. However, a project fails when its idea ends without meeting the needs and expectations of its stakeholders.
Nigeria Has Become the World’s Junk – Yard of Abandoned and Failed Projects worth Billions of Naira!
Hanachor (2013), revealed that projects form part of the basis for assessing a country’s development. However, a damming report from the Abandoned Projects Audit Commission which was set up by the Ex-President Goodluck Jonathan in 2011 revealed that 11,886 federal government projects were abandoned in the past 40 years across Nigerian (Abimbola, 2012). This confirmed the assertion by Osemenan (1987) “that Nigeria has become the world’s junk –yard of abandoned and failed projects worth billions of naira”.
Abandoned projects including building and other civil engineering infrastructure development projects now litter the whole of Nigeria.
Physical projects do not only provide the means of making life more meaningful for members of the community where the projects are located, successful projects also result in empowerment and collective action towards self improvement (Hanachor, 2013).
This Issue of Abandonment Has Been Left Without Adequate Attention for Too Long, and Is Now Having a Multiplier Effect on the Construction Industry in Particular and the Nigeria’s National Economy as a Whole. (Kotngora, 1993)
PROJECT FAILURE
Project Failure might mean a different thing to different stakeholders. A project that seemed successful to one stakeholder may be a total failure to another (Toor and Ogunlana, 2008). Some stakeholders, more especially the project users and some private owners, think of failed projects as a situation where a completed building project collapsed, a situation where by a completed dam project stopped working after few days of completion, or a completed road project that broke down after few months of completion. Other experienced stakeholders, such as engineers and architects conform to the iron triangle by Atkinson (1999) which states that the most strategically important measures of project failure are “time overrun”, “cost overrun”, and “poor quality”.
Turner (1993) noted that a project fails when the project specifications are not delivered within budget and on time;the project fails to achieve its stated business purpose; the project did not meet the pre-stated objectives; the project fails to satisfy the needs of the project team and supporters; and the project fails to satisfy the need of the users and other stakeholders. Lim and Mohamed (1999) cited in Toor and Ogunlana (2009) clarified that there are two possible view points to project failure namely; the macro-level and the micro-level. They further explained that the macro view point reviews if the original objectives and concepts of the project was met. Usually the end users and the project beneficiaries are the ones looking at the project failure from the macro view point, where as the project design team, the consultants, contractors, and suppliers review projects from a micro view point focusing on time of delivery, budget, and poor quality.
In the early 1990s, the failure as well as the success of any project was determined by the project duration, monetary cost, and the performance of the project (Idrus, Sodangi, and Husin, 2011). Belout and Gauvrean (2004), also confirmed that the project management triangle based on schedule, cost, and technical performance is the most useful in determining the failure of a project. Moreover, a project is considered as an achievement of specific objectives, which involves series of activities and tasks which consume resources, are completed within specifications, and have a definite start and end time (Muns and Bjeirmi 1996, cited in Toor and Ogunlana, 2009). Reiss (1993) in his suggestion stated that a project is a human activity that achieves a clear objective against a time scale. Wright (1997) taking the view of clients, suggested that time and budget are the only two important parameters of a project which determines if a project is successful or failed. Nevertheless, many other writers such as Turner, Morris and Hough, wateridge, dewit, McCoy, Pinto and Slevin, saarinen and Ballantine all cited in Atkinson (1999), agreed that cost, time, and quality are all success as well as failure criteria of a project, and are not to be usedexclusively.
FACTORS OF PROJECT FAILURE
Cookie-Davies (2002) stated the difference between the success criteria and the failure factors. Hestated that failure factors are those which contributed towards the failure of a project while success criteria are the measures by which the failure of a project will be judged. The factors constituting the failure criteria are commonly referred to as the key performance indicators (KPIs).
Timeand Cost Overrun
The time factor of project failure cannot be discussed without mentioning cost. This is because the time spent on construction projects has a cost attached to it. Al-Khali and Al-Ghafly, (1999); Aibinu and Jagboro, (2002) confirmed that time overrun in construction projects do not only result in cost overrun and poor quality but also result in greater disputes, abandonment and protracted litigation by the project parties. Therefore, focus on reducing the Time overrun helps to reduce resource spent on heavy litigation processes in the construction industry (Phua and Rowlinson, 2003). Most times, the time overrun of a project does not allow resultant system and benefits of the project to be taking into consideration (Atkinson, 1999). Once a project exceeds the contract time, it does not matter anymore if the project was finally abandoned or completed at the same cost and quality specified on the original contract document, the project has failed. Furthermore, Assaf and Al-Hejji, (2006) noted that time overrun means loss of owner’s revenue due to unavailability of the commercial facilities on time, and contractors may also suffers from higher over heads, material and labour costs.
Poor quality/Technical Performance
The word “Performance” has a different meaning which depends on the context it is being used and it can also be referred to as quality. Performance can be generally defined as effectiveness (doing the right thing), and efficiency (doing it right) (Idrus and Sodangi, 2010). Based on this definition of performance, at the project level, it simply means that a completed project meets fulfilled the stakeholder requirements in the business case.
CAUSES OF PROJECT FAILURE
A lot of research studies have investigated the reasons for project failures, and why projects continue to be described as failing despite improved management. Odeh and Baltaineh, 2002; Arain andLaw, 2003; Abdul-Rahman et al., 2006; Sambasivan and Soon, 2007; all cited in Toor and Ogunlana, 2008, pointed out the major causes of project failures as Inadequate procurement method; poor funding and availability of resources; descripancies between design and construction; lack of project management practices; and communication lapses
The contract/procurement method
A result obtained from two construction projects which were done by the same contractor but using different procurement methods showed that rework, on the design part which occurs when the activities and materials order are different from those specified on the original contract document, makes it difficult for the project to finish on the expected time (Idrus, Sodangi, and Husin, 2011). This is as a result of non-collaboration and integration between the design team, contractor, and tier suppliers. The rework on the design portion has a huge impact on project failure leading to the time overrun. The traditional method of procurement has inadequate flexibility required to facilitate late changes to the project design once the design phase of the construction project has been concluded.
Nigerian most widely used procurement method is the traditional method of procurement (design-bid-construct) which has been confirmed to be less effective to successfully delivery of a construction project (Dim and Ezeabasili, 2015). And, the world bank country procurement assessment report (2000) cited in Anigbogu and Shwarka, (2011) reported that about 50% of projects in Nigeria are dead even before they commence because they were designed to fail.
The way the construction projects are contracted, in addition to the way the contracts are delivered, contributes to the causes of projects failure. Particularly, among the methods of project contracting is lump-sum or a fixed-price contracting method, in which the contractor agrees to deliver a construction project at a fixed price. The fixed-price contract can be low-bid or not however, once the contract cost has been agreed upon the contract award, it cannot be changed. And, contractors are expected to honor and deliver the contract agreement, failure to do so can result in a breach of contract which can result in the contractor being prosecuted.
Awarding a contract to an unqualified personnel also contributes to project failures. When a contractor places more emphasis on money and the mobilization fee after a construction project has been initiated instead of getting the right workforce and skilled professionals that will execute the project. Instead the workforce chosen will often not be base on competence and required skills rather it will be based on availability. Moreover, poor strategy and planning by contractors who have overloaded with work also contributed to one of the causes of project failure.
Poor funding/Budget Planning
A lot of public projects in the Nigerian construction industry failed as a result inadequate funding, and the difference between the national annual budget and the budget actual released. Most of the Nigerian public projects are signed even before the actual release of the national budget. The difference in budget of the contracted project and the actual budget release can get the contracted company stuck as a result of inflation of prices, scarcity of construction material at the time of the budget release and mobilization to site. Also un-planned scope of work which can be as a result of the contractor working on another contract when he is called back to mobilization to start work. Moreover, poor budget planning is a regular mistake made by some contractors by not undertaking feasibility assessments before starting the design. The construction project should be planned according to the available resources and not according to the unrealistic expectations a client has in mind.
Discrepancies Between the Design and Construction
Limited collaboration between the contractors, engineers, and the architect results in discrepancies between the project designs and construction on site, and further leads to rework. Changes on a project designs, and changing to the scope of work in the middle of construction processes on site can be dangerous, and can lead to time overrun, increase in cost, and most of all can lead to abandonment. Moreover, many cases have been seen where the designs from the architects are not buildable on site, whileIn some cases, most contractors are unable to adequately specify the scope of work for the construction processes on site. Therefore any default on the design by the architect can be an opportunity for the contractor to make more money which might cause the project duration to exceed the time specified on the contract document.
RESEARCH METHODOLOGY
This research starts with a general reasoning or theory which says that the major cases of project failure in the Nigerian construction industry are defined based on time overrun and cost overrun. The findings from the data analysis will help on the decision to accept the theory or not. The research data was collected from the progress report for the month ending of October, 2015 published by the Nigeria of Federal Ministry of works on thirty-nine on-going highway construction projects at the South-South geopolitical zone. The table 1 below shows the information on the data collected which comprises of the project title, contract Number, project description, the contractor that was awarded the projects, the date of project commencement, date of completion and the extended date if any. The scheduled time for each project was specified as follows: project commencement date labeled as “a”,project completion date labeled as “b”, and the extended date labeled as “c”.
Table 1: The analyzed data on the highway project at the South-South zone in Nigeria.
DATA ANALYSIS
The data analysis was done with the use of Microsoft excel. The analysis started by obtaining the number of days between the date of commencement of each project and the date of completion to show the duration of each highway project. And, the number of days between the project completion date and the extension date showed the time-overrun. The project duration and the extended days were obtained with the use of NETWORKDAYS function in Microsoft Excel which calculates the number of working days between two dates excluding weekends and any dates identified as holidays.
The standard deviation between the specified project duration for each highway projects and the extended days was calculated to obtain the extent to which each highway project contract failed on its time of delivery. This was denoted as the degree of failure. The table 1 above showed the projects ranking which was done based on the degree of failure of all the highway projects. The highway projects that were ranked from one to sixteen have low degree of failure and are represented with green color, while the rest are those with high degree of failure and are represented with red color.
FINDINGS
The findings made showed that the successfully completed highway projects have no extended days or time overrun, and the successful on-going highway projects are still on schedule and have no extended days unlike the on-going highway projects that have already failed as a result of the extended dates. Other projects have been abandoned because they have exceeded the delivery date as specified on the contract document, and have no extended date of completion. Thus, no work is going on.
Figure 1: Abundance of failed highway projects at south-south zone, Nigeria.Figure 2: On-going failed highway projects
Figure 2 above showed that 14% of highway projects are still on-going projects because they have not exceeded the original date of completion as specified on the contract document. However, they are heading towards failure because they have been given an extended date of completion which can be as a result of some critical activities running behind schedule, causing delay on the critical path network of the projects. Moreover, the other 86% completely failed because they have exceeded their completion date specified on the contract document.
Figure 3: Successful on-going highway projects
The figure 3 above showed that 63% of the successful highway projects are still on-going because they have not exceed their completion dates, and they are not yet completed. However, those on-going highway projects might end up as failed projects as a result of poor funding, discrepancy between the design and the construction on site, and conflict between the construction parties or stakeholders.
“Say what you will do, and do what you said” or “Say as you will do it, and do it as you said”
CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATION
The idea of knowing what a failed project is, the factors and the causes is very important in project management. Success in project management can neither be achieved nor measured without the knowledge of project failure, its factors, and causes in the Nigerian construction industries. This work has shown that project failure is as a result of exceeded time of delivery, cost overrun, and poor quality. However, the analysis was only done based on exceeded time of project delivery because of the nature of the data collected.
This work suggested a few approaches to help reduce the number of failed projects in the Nigerian construction industry if properly implemented. Firstly, Having good collaboration between the project stakeholders involved in a construction project at the early stage of project conception is most important in order to accomplish the project objectives, and deliver the project on time, within budget, and quality specified on the original contract document (Othman, 2006).
Secondly, Adopting the ISO 9000 technique which is used for quality management will also help in achieving a successful project delivery. This technique states “ say what you will do, and do what you said” or “say as you will do it, and do it as you said”. This technique is not an indication of high quality but it promotes control and consistency which leads to specialization, and improved productivity and quality. Also, adopting the principles of lean construction will help to reduce waste within the construction and stream-line activities in order to improve the on-time delivery of projects.
Thirdly, Learning from the precedent failed projects, how those projects failed, and the reason for their failures. This will help the project manager to plan and mitigate the risks of project failures in the future. And, finally, more seminars and workshops will help to educate and enlighten clients (the federal government representatives), users, contractors, engineers, and architects on what is project failure, the factors that contributes to abundant failed projects, and their causes.
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The term ‘Modern Methods of Construction’ (MMC) embraces a range of technologies involving various forms of prefabrication and off-site assembly.
MMC is increasingly regarded as a realistic means of improving quality, reducing time spent on-site, improving on-site safety and addressing skills shortages in the construction of UK housing.
Bridge Crossing Modern Design
The variety of systems now available potentially allows the designer enough choice to sidestep problems deriving from constraints posed by the use of any one method. MMC systems, from closed-panel timber framed systems to bathroom pods are a palette from which designers can make choices. They are not necessarily stand-alone solutions that anticipate all the needs of an individual site and can be mixed and matched as appropriate.
These limitations are not obstacles to achieving the good design in MMC-based schemes, but may hinder the incorporation of more complex and innovative types of MMC from which greater overall benefits may be obtained which are considered under the following headings:
1. COST UNCERTAINTY
There is no doubt that, given products of comparable performance the key issue in purchases of MMC construction systems is the price. At present not enough is known about the potential costs of using volumetric and closed panel systems to enable confident specification at an early date. This inhibits designers from exploring the full potential of MMC systems. This is particularly true of the less repetitive, small, one-off scheme, where a smaller margin of benefits is gained from using MMC. The principal barrier to the uptake of MMC, therefore, seems to be the perception of cost uncertainty with respect to using more complex systems. Without doing substantial project-specific research, consultants and their clients simply do not know with enough degree of certainty how much the volumetric or closed panel systems are likely to cost, and what would be the savings to overall project costs produced by potential speed gains to offset against increased capital expenditure.
This is due to the complexity of assessing the ratio of cost of repetitive elements where pricing is relatively straightforward to the cost of adjusting elements or building in another method for the abnormal condition. Decisions to use innovative systems are likely to be made once designs are well progressed to enable teams to be more certain of costs. This can increase the potential for change or result in design compromise as the designer attempts to incorporate the specific limitations of a particular system in their design.
In an attempt to improve this situation, the MMC consultant and or clients could pull together a directory of MMC expanded to include cost comparison data. The huge range of variables involved inevitably makes this difficult, but a database of current construction cost information would be an invaluable resource.
Contemporary Building Facade
2. PLANNING PROCESS AND EARLY COMMITMENT TO A SYSTEM
The time it can take to obtain planning permission has obvious implications both for project cost but also, in some circumstances, for architectural design innovation.
Most of the more complex types of MMC have an impact on dimensioning, the choice of external finish and detailing may have some effect on the buildings mass. Therefore, the construction system should be chosen prior to a planning application to avoid abortive work, redesign or amendment, or even resubmission for planning permission.
However, developers whose money is at risk, frequently hold off deciding on the construction technique until the last practicable moment, in order to get any advantage from fluctuations in material or component pricing.
Given the potential for lengthy duration of planning applications, this means that there is little incentive to prepare initial designs for planning with a prior decision to incorporate MMC firmly embedded. In cases where the developer has a financial or business link with the supplier, this is less likely to be the case. As the majority of commercial or residential developments involve some kind of arrangement with a developer, agreement on construction systems is often left to the stage after planning.
3. TIME INVESTMENT
Another very significant factor is the time investment required at the early stages of projects. This is needed to develop the design when the project is still at risk. There is a direct relationship between the scale and complexity of MMC component and the amount of time required to develop a design at an early stage.
The introduction of advanced or complex MMC techniques into the design process is potentially costly to the design team. A significant amount of research is needed to explore alternative systems, to obtain verification of suppliers’credentials, investigate mortgage and insurance issues, visit previous sites, talk to system suppliers, obtain technical performance guidelines, understand junctions and interfaces, coordinate other consultants, obtain building control input and so on.
For a consultant, the only way of investing in this research is either through timely payment of increased fees by a visionary understanding client or through the anticipation of increased future productivity through repetition when a project is phased, or large enough, or likely to be followed by another similar project.
The potential of learning a system and then being able to repeat lessons learned efficiently is a powerful incentive for both client and consultant. By contrast, HTA’ s project at Basingstoke is an example of a phased project with a three to four-year duration allowed the design team to repeat various elements of the design, and the manufacturer to develop improved solutions to technical and supply problems.
HTA’ s project at Basingstoke
4. INSUFFICIENT COMMUNICATION
Improved dialogue at the outset of the project is vital if design quality is to be maximised. Constraints and opportunities implicit within a particular system are more easily incorporated into design if partners communicate pre-planning. Increased early communication can be fostered through improved long-term partnering relationships.
Clients should also partner with a range of suppliers and architects so that choice and flexibility is not restricted.
5. INEXPERIENCE
Generally, the inexperienced client or design team will have to do more research, with the result that there is likely to be significant design development without a specific system being incorporated.
This is a disincentive to using a more complex system involving a higher proportion of MMC, where early decision making and knowledge of a system’ s capabilities have a decisive influence on the nature of the architecture. However, encouraging the take up of MMC through the use of a dedicated funding mechanism may assist clients in finding time for research into suitable MMC techniques.
Dome Construction Berlin
6. SUPPLIER’S ROLE
Site capacity studies and early stage pre-planning design studies could be undertaken directly by system suppliers on behalf of clients, cutting out the usual procedure of commissioning design work by independent consultants.
7. ASSUMPTIONS
There are a number of assumptions that are generally held about certain types of MMC that may have been valid at one time but are no longer true today. There is a need for reliable and up to date information comparing system criteria, performance data, timescales, lead in times, capacity, construction time, sequencing issues, limitations, and benefits.
Therefore it would be helpful if a forum for discussion and experience exchange was set up.
8. DEMONSTRATING THE BENEFITS OF MMC
There is still a large amount of skepticism about the need to go very far down the line with MMC. This is reflected in the acceptance of the desirability of maintaining or indeed enhancing the pool of traditional craft skills throughout the UK.
A balanced view is that there is a demonstrable need for the wider use of MMC which is recognized by both industry and government. The best way for clients and the public generally to become more confident and knowledgeable about the quality of design achievable through MMC is to see it demonstrated.
9. FINANCIAL INCENTIVES
There is no doubt that spreading the burden of investment through the life of a project helps to ensure a higher standard of specification and hence quality. In the Netherlands, a ‘ Green Financing’system has been developed by the Dutch government that provides favorable loan finance when certain sustainable standards are reached. In the UK, the Gallions HA has pioneered a study of this, based on a scheme in Thamesmead, ‘ the Ecopark project’.
Eco Park is an eco-friendly business park built on the False Bay coast. This business park is at the cutting-edge of sustainable design and offers a unique working environment in a secure, well-managed facility.
