Tag: Parenting

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Parenting For Eternity

Parenting For Eternity If someone asked you what you wanted most for your children. Your automatic response would properly be, “Success!”

If someone asked you what you wanted most for your children. Your automatic response would properly be, “Success!”

As a follower of Christ, I’ve discovered things more important than success in and of itself.

Our time on earth is short, and eternity is sure to follow. James 4:14 describes life on earth as, “a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” This should help with the choices parents make.

Ways Eternity Should Change How We Think As Parent 

 

We Realize our kids are not our own. 

Being a parent naturally involves putting the needs of our kids above our own and sacrificing to provide for them. But ultimately, each child belongs to God. Psalm 127:3-4 says God gives them to us as a reward. When we think of children as solely “ours,” our goals and our desires for them become the focus. When we think of parenting as stewarding the gifts God gives us, it puts the focus back on what God wants for them, which may not always be what we want for them.

We will Have different priorities. 

To most people, wanting success for my children would be admirable, even expected. We’re called to teach our children there is more to life than the success the world tells you about. Knowing the love of God is the greatest thing we can desire for our children. Encouraging good grades and allowing kids to excel in sports is great. But teaching our kids to look for the lonely and the hurting, to love sacrificially, to forgive quickly, and to obey God’s Word is more important than anything else.

We will encourage and celebrate differently. 

The world tells us that our kids are defined by their accomplishments in school, on the playing field, and in comparison to others. But the Bible tells us to focus on their hearts, not their trophies. We’re to point our children to the love of God so much it becomes a way of life. They should hear about it day and night, they should see it in our houses and in how we live our lives. Our lives should be a picture of the Gospel, pointing others to Christ and celebrating when our children do the same. If someone asked me today what I want most for my children, my answer would be, “That they would love the Lord.”

Today, our children who love the Lord, whose confidence and trust are in Him, are blessed no matter what comes. “They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit” (Jeremiah 17:7-8). I can live in peace knowing that a child who follows the Lord will ultimately be blessed. Their roads may not look like I envision, but if they’re following God’s plan for their lives, I know it’s the best plan for them. Parenting with eternity in mind means remembering we have the opportunity to raise disciples who will make a difference in this world. We can leave a legacy that makes an eternal impact, one generation pointing the next generation to Jesus.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. ‘ (Prov. 22:6.) 

 

Let’s Pray 

Yahweh, I commit my children unto you. Father, supply whatever is wanting in me, through frailty or negligence. Strengthen them to overcome the corruptions of the world, to resist all solicitations to evil, whether from within or without and deliver them from the secret snares of the enemy. God, pour your grace into their hearts and confirm and multiply in them the gifts of Thy Holy Spirit, that they may daily grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ both now and throughout eternity, in Christ’s name. Amen.

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When Did We Become So Mean?

In a recent conversation, my teacher-friend mentioned how the school system has recognized the need to teach kindness to the kids. Over the years, it’s been forgotten and kids are not as kind. They make fun of others. Tear down. Have exclusive clubs. And the such.

Kindness? Really? It’s not something that they already know?  After reflection, I realized…you know what? They’re right! They know what it means but fall dreadfully short when it comes to living it out.

Shows like Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood have been replaced with Fairly Odd Parents and the like. This generation has grown up watching intolerance, injustice, and acts of hatred left and right. They’ve seen us let fear take hold….and watched as we fret at night. But kindness…have they seen it modeled? Do they recognize it as a need right now?

  • Do the words we speak lift others up…or rather tear them down?
  • Do we put others in front of ourselves…or does selfishness abound?
  • Will we spread joy this holiday season…or grumble as we wait in the crowd?
  • Do we gossip, complain, whine, and moan…or do we spread good cheer?
  • Have we forgotten the meaning of respect to those in public service? Our teachers, policemen, firemen, and others who give their lives to better us.
  • Do we have a me-first attitude? Or do we remember the words of Jesus…”It is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:35).

As parents of the generation-rising, we have a responsibility. It is our job to instill an attitude of gratefulness and stop passing the buck around. If we want a world where kindness looms, then we need to reflect within. What do we show with our own lives? Would others say that we’re kind?

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9 Things your Kids Need (But won’t Tell You)

9 Things your Kids Need (But won’t Tell You)

Nothing beats the feeling of desiring to become a parent. No one can dismiss the joy, excitement and the strong desire to hold and cuddle your bundle of joy and live happily ever after. The plannings of how your baby will be received in the family not forgetting the baby showers that come in handy. Friends and family send the congratulatory messages to the newest parent in town.

Parenting is beautiful but unfortunately no manual can come in handy with instructions on how to raise and handle the new member in the family. The days and nights are always longer. Stress and feelings of breaking up are experienced in the few months after birth. Lack of sleep is the order of the day.

The good part is that it pays off. Parenting your children with Christian values helps to build strong families where strong societies and cultures are built from. We are living in the world with a lot of challenges and your children are not an exception as they’re prone to them.

Here are some of the things they need but won’t tell you.

1. Your marriage

When your marriage is perfect and you invest much in it, you’ll definitely have a great family. When children are born, they come along with an empty basket that needs to be filled up in all areas of their lives. You should always be at their service to provide them with your time and resources. Their future should be secured. Invest in them. When you invest in your marriage and let the children know that your marriage comes first, they’ll respect the institution.

2. Your faith and love to Christ

The adage says, “Actions speak louder than words. “Your children are likely to follow your actions more than they can listen. Which faith do you profess to? Share the love of Jesus Christ with your children. Be a role model even in the matters of Christianity.

3. Technology

In these times we are living in, technology has taken over our homes by storm. I remember when I got my second child, during feeding time and when I wanted to keep him calm as I worked. A phone always came in handy. I would allow him to play games and watch videos. The hardest thing was retrieving the phone back and erasing the mindset he had concerning the gadget. We need to put boundaries on technology. Let the children know that for their lives to be perfect they don’t need to be exposed to technology.

4. Encourage them more than you correct them

Have you ever been in a position whereby you only notice the mistakes your children are making?
Sometimes children can turn out to be chaotic, jumping up and down from the couches, fighting each other or speaking with food in their mouths disregarding all the etiquette you’ve taught them? You may feel like yelling at these little angels and put sense into their little minds. How do you respond to that? In the midst of all these shortcomings, is there a positive thing you can point out and say, “WOW, I am so proud of you!”

How often do you tell your children that you love them? I know what you’re thinking. I provide for them, take them to the best schools and I’m always there for them. They know too well that you love them but telling it to their faces makes all the difference. Spoken words are powerful. Speak positively to them and this will build them up. Stop assuming that your child knows how you feel about them. Tell them.

If you’re struggling with taming your tongue read the book of Psalm 141:3 “Set guard over my mouth Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. The Holy Spirit will always be your guide if you allow Him.

5. To know life isn’t fair

We all go through some nasty experiences in life. Let the children know that nothing comes easily in life and they need to work hard for it.

Good grades at school just doesn’t just fall into their laps, they need to work extra hard to earn them. Nothing in life is handed on a silver platter. Whatever we go through in life no matter how hard it is, it’s meant to build us make us strong and we learn from it.Romans 5:3-5 “But we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

6. To say no and protect their boundaries

We all set boundaries in all areas of our lives but the tragedy are when you set them in your own house and nothing seems to work. What happens when you tell your child not to do something that you feel isn’t right or would hurt them? Your guess is good as mine; they end up doing it.Learn to set boundaries.

Let your no be no but say it with a lot of love. These boys and girls just want to grab the attention and let you know that they are in existence lest you forgot.

7. Help them to become the best man and woman they were created to be, not who you want them to be

When we conceive, we make plans for the unborn child without regarding Gods intentions for their lives. We all want the best for our children but we end up eliminating GOD from the picture. How many people out there ended up being what God didn’t intend them to be just because somebody thought that “this suits you better than that”. Career wise, if I tell people to raise up their hands if they ended up in wrong careers just because their parents thought that Doctors are paid more than Teachers or Lawyers earn more than musicians. You’ll be surprised.

As parents, we need to nurture our children talents. Once you recognize them, the best you can do is to uphold them. Never ever make a mistake of comparing your children. It really hurts. I can very well remember back then while schooling. I did something that annoyed my mum and the worst mistake she did was to compare me with my friends and I didn’t like it. This really crushed my spirit, my self-esteem dropped to zero but I thank God I am not where I was then. Knowing Christ has helped me a great deal.

I thank God I can encourage my children to be better than what they were yesterday. I always seek guidance from God. You can do the same also. Pray and read the word of God for direction.

8. Discuss with them topics that are always avoided

Talking about sex is the hardest topic a parent can discuss with their children. They always dodge the conversation to the slightest opportunity they get. Let me ask this annoying question, whom would you want your child to discuss this with?

Children are always keen with their body parts and a boy can tell he looks different from a girl. Tell them and explain with the language they can understand. If you won’t tell them, the world is waiting to tell them as it is.Do not let your children subscribe to the patterns of the outside world.
Create a channel for conversations. Open dialogues works wonders.

9. Prayers

Pray for your children, pray with them and for them. Prayers works wonders. Some years back, my brother who’s behind me was living a life that we couldn’t understand. He could only come to visit me when he planned it and felt like seeing me.I would go for months without seeing him and this really affected me.I couldn’t get him on phone unless he called me.

I decided to involve God in it.I prayed and fasted because of him. I still do. He may not have accepted Christ as his savior but I’m sure one day God will save him. I thank God because he changed him in all areas of his life.

What does this mean to you? You guessed it right, prayers changes things.

Make a habit of praying for, with and for them. Have family devotions and you’ll experience great and mighty things. May God bless you and order your steps.

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What “It Takes A Village to Raise a Child” Really Means

What “It Takes A Village to Raise a Child" Really Means

It takes a village to raise a child couldn’t be more true, or more biblical, except that we often leave out one vital group from the child-rearing village.

This group isn’t left out on purpose. They are usually included when you answer who is responsible for rearing and raising a child. They are seen as foundational in taking a baby through life into adulthood.

But too often this group is relieved of power and responsibility. They are left on the sidelines or pushed out completely. This isn’t the sole fault of any one particular. The leftover group is also to blame.

They leave as soon as they can. They delegate the raising and rear of kids to someone else. They are not “cut out” for that kind of thing, or “it isn’t natural” so someone else must take care of the children.

But there is not a basis for this in scripture. Rather the opposite is true.

It takes a village to raise a child, but more important, children need to be raised by their fathers.

This isn’t new. This isn’t news to anyone. The reality that children with fathers actively being a part of their lives performing better in school is well documented. That doesn’t need to be rehashed.

But what does need to talk about, what does need to be understood that fathers being a major part of their childrens’ lives isn’t just about good school marks? This isn’t just about less criminal offenses because dad is at home. This isn’t just about happier, healthier kids because their father is at the dinner table.

All these things are important. But we should be present and be rearing and raising our kids for more pressing reasons than these.

Scripture calls us to be present as fathers. The Written Word of God tells us, with no “ifs, and, or buts”, that men need to be taking the role of parent as serious as they do anything else. If not more seriously.

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”- Ephesians 6:4

The Apostle Paul doesn’t mincemeat when it comes to the role of fathers in his letter to the Ephesians. It is a father’s role (also a mother’s, but we are focusing on fathers) to be training and raising up a child in the ways of God. The spiritual well being of a little boy or girl is completely related, though not dependent, on the training and instruction that a father gives to his kids.

Paul emphasizes this idea that dads need to be serious about raising and rearing their kids when he made this comment in another letter.

“I was advancing in Judaism beyond many of my own age among my people and was extremely zealous for the traditions of my fathers.” – Galatians 1:14

He was zealous for the Lord, passionate about God and doing His work because Paul was raised by his father. Taught by his father, who was taught by his father, who was taught by his father. Paul was the product of generations of fathers taking seriously the role of dad and taught what it meant to serve God.

Without that rearing and raising, we may not have the Bible as we know it today. Because one father stepped up, did as the Bible called him to do, we have powerful portions of the New Testament that would be otherwise lost.

It isn’t just the Apostle Paul that believes this. The mystery author of Hebrews likewise encourages fathers to be involved. Especially because it affects our children’s faith.

“Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!” – Hebrews 12:9

Fathers are called to disciple, to correct, to admonish, to instruct their children. Just as human fathers do this, so our Father in Heaven does. And if our Father in Heaven does something, shouldn’t we, with great effort and heart, do as He does?

Yes, we should.

Jesus said,

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” – Luke 11:11-13

Not only are we as fathers supposed to train and instruct, raise and rear our children, we are a prime example of what God is like.

Think about that. We as human fathers are a dim reflection of what God is like.

Or we are supposed to be. Like Jesus and the author of Hebrews say, we are to be an example of the love and grace and blessing of God, and the instruction, discipline, and training from God.

These are important roles. These things cannot go undone. The lack of a father in a child’s life, missing these things, could and will have a deep spiritual impact. And not in a good way.

It does take a village to raise a child. But that doesn’t excuse fathers from the rearing and raising of their own kids.

Fathers, we have a very serious role to play in our kids’ lives. Not just because study upon study shows how important we are to their growth. But because God has called us to fulfill a vital role in the lives of our children.

It is the time that we took up our place in the village and in our children’s lives.

This article originally appeared in Christian Thought Sandbox.

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How to Raise a God Fearing Child?

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

It’s every parent desires to raise up their kids in a Godly way and for them to follow and love Christ passionately. It becomes a tragedy when you as a parent does not have any idea on how to. What a hard nut to crack if the children decide to be rebellious and as a parent or guardian you are not rooted in the word of God?

This pushes me to ask this annoying question, “Are you living a life your child would love to emulate?” Live as an example and whatever principles you set he will follow them wholeheartedly.

Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Children are a blessing from God and it’s a joy when they are following the footsteps of our Lord Christ Jesus and doing things according to his will. As we were all born sinners, children aren’t an exception and unless you allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in parenting, I tell you this is not for the faint-hearted but I’ll take you through ways on how to help you raise Godly children and for them to learn His attributes.

Pray for wisdom

James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Praying, reading the word and exercising wisdom as you wait on God unlock many puzzles which the enemy can use to draw your children far away from his love. It doesn’t act like magic but takes the grace of God which will always sustain you. Implementing on what you learn from God’s word is highly recommended.

Protect your children

In this generation we are living in, children are surrounded by perverts, ungodly media and all negative influencers. As a parent, you need to take full responsibility to ensure that your children are protected from all vices. It’s your mandate for the Lord has entrusted them to you.

Control your children

Parents allow too much freedom to their children and it turns out to be very difficult to withdraw that freedom while they are older. You have the right to supervise what they’re watching, sites they log into to protect them from cyberbullying and to avoid technology controlling them. Monitoring whom they spend their time with is advisable. Teach them to walk in the “fear” of God and make them understand that there are boundaries. Be firm but with a lot of love.

Trying to turn children away from their wayward behavior comes with a lot of emotional burdens that takes massive effort to heal.

Have commitment and determination

Amos 3:3 says, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”

It’s obliviously a no! As parents, you need to agree and purpose on how to raise your children in a Godly way and with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit you’ll definitely emerge victoriously. Determination comes from within and the higher the commitment; awesomeness will be experienced by all.

Bless your children

Speak positively concerning your children. Bless them and speak to their future. The tongue has the power to curse and bless and you may not wish your child to live in resentment for the rest of his life because of the choice of your words.

Proverbs 12:18 says, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Sieve every word that comes out from your mouth. Children can be rebellious at times and no matter how irresponsible they are, thank God for blessing you with that child. Talk to them about how their behaviors are weighing you down and at the same time appreciate them for their best part. Dwelling on the negativity will tear both parties down. Be wise.

Proverbs 23:13-14 says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from the death.

Children are bound to be rebellious and little spanking is allowed as long as it won’t cause bodily harm. Do it with a lot of love though. Involve your children in daily prayers and set family devotional times.

 

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