Nothing beats the feeling of desiring to become a parent. No one can dismiss the joy, excitement and the strong desire to hold and cuddle your bundle of joy and live happily ever after. The plannings of how your baby will be received in the family not forgetting the baby showers that come in handy. Friends and family send the congratulatory messages to the newest parent in town.
Parenting is beautiful but unfortunately no manual can come in handy with instructions on how to raise and handle the new member in the family. The days and nights are always longer. Stress and feelings of breaking up are experienced in the few months after birth. Lack of sleep is the order of the day.
The good part is that it pays off. Parenting your children with Christian values helps to build strong families where strong societies and cultures are built from. We are living in the world with a lot of challenges and your children are not an exception as they’re prone to them.
Here are some of the things they need but won’t tell you.
1. Your marriage
When your marriage is perfect and you invest much in it, you’ll definitely have a great family. When children are born, they come along with an empty basket that needs to be filled up in all areas of their lives. You should always be at their service to provide them with your time and resources. Their future should be secured. Invest in them. When you invest in your marriage and let the children know that your marriage comes first, they’ll respect the institution.
2. Your faith and love to Christ
The adage says, “Actions speak louder than words. “Your children are likely to follow your actions more than they can listen. Which faith do you profess to? Share the love of Jesus Christ with your children. Be a role model even in the matters of Christianity.
In these times we are living in, technology has taken over our homes by storm. I remember when I got my second child, during feeding time and when I wanted to keep him calm as I worked. A phone always came in handy. I would allow him to play games and watch videos. The hardest thing was retrieving the phone back and erasing the mindset he had concerning the gadget. We need to put boundaries on technology. Let the children know that for their lives to be perfect they don’t need to be exposed to technology.
4. Encourage them more than you correct them
Have you ever been in a position whereby you only notice the mistakes your children are making?
Sometimes children can turn out to be chaotic, jumping up and down from the couches, fighting each other or speaking with food in their mouths disregarding all the etiquette you’ve taught them? You may feel like yelling at these little angels and put sense into their little minds. How do you respond to that? In the midst of all these shortcomings, is there a positive thing you can point out and say, “WOW, I am so proud of you!”
How often do you tell your children that you love them? I know what you’re thinking. I provide for them, take them to the best schools and I’m always there for them. They know too well that you love them but telling it to their faces makes all the difference. Spoken words are powerful. Speak positively to them and this will build them up. Stop assuming that your child knows how you feel about them. Tell them.
If you’re struggling with taming your tongue read the book of Psalm 141:3 “Set guard over my mouth Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. The Holy Spirit will always be your guide if you allow Him.
5. To know life isn’t fair
We all go through some nasty experiences in life. Let the children know that nothing comes easily in life and they need to work hard for it.
Good grades at school just doesn’t just fall into their laps, they need to work extra hard to earn them. Nothing in life is handed on a silver platter. Whatever we go through in life no matter how hard it is, it’s meant to build us make us strong and we learn from it.Romans 5:3-5 “But we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
6. To say no and protect their boundaries
We all set boundaries in all areas of our lives but the tragedy are when you set them in your own house and nothing seems to work. What happens when you tell your child not to do something that you feel isn’t right or would hurt them? Your guess is good as mine; they end up doing it.Learn to set boundaries.
Let your no be no but say it with a lot of love. These boys and girls just want to grab the attention and let you know that they are in existence lest you forgot.
7. Help them to become the best man and woman they were created to be, not who you want them to be
When we conceive, we make plans for the unborn child without regarding Gods intentions for their lives. We all want the best for our children but we end up eliminating GOD from the picture. How many people out there ended up being what God didn’t intend them to be just because somebody thought that “this suits you better than that”. Career wise, if I tell people to raise up their hands if they ended up in wrong careers just because their parents thought that Doctors are paid more than Teachers or Lawyers earn more than musicians. You’ll be surprised.
As parents, we need to nurture our children talents. Once you recognize them, the best you can do is to uphold them. Never ever make a mistake of comparing your children. It really hurts. I can very well remember back then while schooling. I did something that annoyed my mum and the worst mistake she did was to compare me with my friends and I didn’t like it. This really crushed my spirit, my self-esteem dropped to zero but I thank God I am not where I was then. Knowing Christ has helped me a great deal.
I thank God I can encourage my children to be better than what they were yesterday. I always seek guidance from God. You can do the same also. Pray and read the word of God for direction.
8. Discuss with them topics that are always avoided
Talking about sex is the hardest topic a parent can discuss with their children. They always dodge the conversation to the slightest opportunity they get. Let me ask this annoying question, whom would you want your child to discuss this with?
Children are always keen with their body parts and a boy can tell he looks different from a girl. Tell them and explain with the language they can understand. If you won’t tell them, the world is waiting to tell them as it is.Do not let your children subscribe to the patterns of the outside world.
Create a channel for conversations. Open dialogues works wonders.
Pray for your children, pray with them and for them. Prayers works wonders. Some years back, my brother who’s behind me was living a life that we couldn’t understand. He could only come to visit me when he planned it and felt like seeing me.I would go for months without seeing him and this really affected me.I couldn’t get him on phone unless he called me.
I decided to involve God in it.I prayed and fasted because of him. I still do. He may not have accepted Christ as his savior but I’m sure one day God will save him. I thank God because he changed him in all areas of his life.
What does this mean to you? You guessed it right, prayers changes things.
Make a habit of praying for, with and for them. Have family devotions and you’ll experience great and mighty things. May God bless you and order your steps.