Tag: old

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How To Change Bad Habits

Yesterday someone asked me how to change bad habits? Do you have habits in your life that you want to stop or change? Maybe it’s a bad attitude, bad behaviour, or even negative thoughts. No matter what you may want to change in your life, you have to start with changing your mind. You have to change your thinking so that your thoughts are in line with God’s thoughts. Once your thinking changes your behaviour will change. 

 When you repent and make the decision to follow God in every area of your life, you open the door for His supernatural power to work. When you take control of your thought life, through the Holy Spirit you are co-operating with the power that brings about change. Your life will go in the direction of your thoughts. You can’t just allow any old thought or image to play in your mind. You have to choose right thoughts.  

Today, the easiest way to change your thoughts is by speaking God’s Word. When you say “pear,” you probably won’t start thinking about an apple. In the same way, when you confess the Word of God, it will drive those negative, defeated thoughts away which will change bad habits! Change your mind today by changing your words and focus, so that you can move forward into the abundant life God has in store for you! 

“Repent (think differently; change your mind, regretting your sins and changing your conduct), for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 3:2, AMP 

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, today give me the strength to take captive every thought that is contrary to Your will. Father, I repent for anything in my life that is displeasing to You. God, please empower me today by Your Spirit, so that I can change my bad habits and bring honour to You, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

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A NEW YEAR’S LETTER

Dear subscriber,

Happy 2021. 2020 has been full of  hurt and disappointment for many. We’ve all been burnt by life, some have lost loved ones, relationships and jobs. But God doesn’t want us to sit in the ashes of the past; He wants to trade our brokenness for healing. He wants to give us beauty for our ashes. The key is that we have to be willing to give up the ashes in order to receive the beauty. You can’t have both, because the old has to go before the new can reach fulfilment.

As I look back over last year, I’m thankful to God for hundreds of new subscribers to the Ray of Hope devotion. I’m thanking God for lockdown virtual revivals in London, Wolverhampton, Harlow Essex, Kenya, Toronto Canada, Trinidad and many others, where hundreds gave their hearts to God despite the pandemic. I’m thankful for the Ray of Hope radio show each Sunday, and the listenership has grown tremendously. Ray of Hope ministries and God Interest want to thank you for your prayers, donations and continued support, and to ask you to continue to bless our ministry throughout 2021. We would love you to encourage your friends and family to also subscribe for their daily blessing.

Today, let’s move forward, not focusing on yesterday’s blessings, but reaching forward with hope and purpose, as we tackle the projects and challenges this year will bring. Are you willing to trust God with your future? Are you willing to let go of the pain, to forgive others and yourself so you can move forward in freedom? Don’t waste another day sitting in the ashes. The year 2020 is over, but your future remains. Let God give you joy instead of mourning, and let Him make something beautiful out of the ashes of your life in 2021.

…he will give: beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness…” (Isaiah 61:3, TLB)

Let’s Pray
Yahweh, thank You for promising to sweep away the ashes of my past and give me something beautiful in their place. Father, thanks for blessing Ray of Hope ministries, God Interest and it’s subscribers, to reach so many for the kingdom in 2020. Almighty God, I choose to give You my 2021 for more ministry endeavours as you give me clear vision. I receive Your healing and restoration in my life, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

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Breaking News – We Have A Vaccine

The search for the last 11 months has been to find an antidote against the Covid-19 pandemic. In early December there were shouts of celebration when a vaccine was found, and fear began to dissipate and faith got stronger. Do you know we have a vaccine, an antidote against sin and fear? The first thing many people would say is faith; however, the Scripture tells us that it’s love, for perfect love is what drives out all fear. Hallelujah! 

When we truly comprehend how much God loves us, what can we possibly be afraid of? For God is love. When we are one with God through a relationship with His Son, we are wrapped in perfect love where we can find strength and security. We can find peace. We can find refuge, provision, and hope in His love. His love knows no limits. It has no boundaries. His love never changes. There is nothing you can do to make Him love you any more or any less. So let’s celebrate this breaking news Hallelujah! Hallelujah! 

Today, open your heart and receive the vaccine of God’s love made at Calvary. Don’t go into 2021 without it, you will be vulnerable to the pandemic of sin. Daily meditate on His goodness and faithfulness. As you do, those old fears will melt away. Sin will cease, and you will move confidently into the life of victory He has prepared for you. 

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” (1 John 4:18, NIV) 

Let’s Pray 

Oh, Yahweh, I come before You with a humble heart, begging for the vaccine of Your love. Father, please show me Your love and fill me with Your peace and hope, and remove the pandemic of sin and fear. God, help me to be an example of Your love for the people I come into contact with. I bless Your Name today that I have the victory over sin through faith in You, not just now but forever, in Christ’s Name! Amen. 

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Don’t Speak Negativity Into Your Future

You Have the Victory, So Why Are You Walking Around Defeated?

Do you know that your negative or positive future can be determined by how you see the present? In the Old Testament, there was an Israelite woman who was about to give birth. She had just heard that the Ark of the Covenant which housed God’s presence had been stolen. She was so upset about it that she named her baby boy Ichabod, which means “the glory has departed.”  

Notice what this woman did; she named her future by what was happening in her present. She could have just as easily named him “the glory will return,” but she was so focused on the negative, so caught up in where she was at that moment, that she defined her future by it. Don’t ever name your future by your present-day circumstances. You may have had some hard times in the past, but get that “Ichabod” spirit off of you.  

Today, it may look like you’re stuck in a rut, and you don’t really see how you could ever rise any higher, but don’t speak defeat over your life. Instead, name your future: blessed, prosperous, successful, victorious, healthy, whole, strong, talented, creative, wise. Declare what God’s Word says, so that you can move forward in the destiny He has prepared for you! 

“You will also declare a thing, and it will be established…” (Job 22:28, NKJV) 

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank You for the blessed future that You have prepared for me. Father, today I choose to come into agreement with Your Word, and speak Your blessing over my life. God, keep me close to You and show me Your ways, in Christ’s Name! Amen.  

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A New Creation

Worldly Peace Vs. God’s Peace

A new year is a time for making plans, setting goals, writing visions, making resolutions, getting a fresh start and having a new beginning. But, the best “new start” is through Jesus Christ, for the Bible says, “if anyone be in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold the new has come.” (2 Cor 15:17)

Today, if you need a new beginning in any area of your life, allow Christ to make you a new creation, and the old will pass away! He will put a new and right spirit within you when you call on His name! This year, make your relationship with Him your number one priority. As you develop an intimacy with Him through daily prayer and the study of His Word, you will experience the joy of newness of life!

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalms 51:10, ESV)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, as I’m about to enter into a new year, I choose to make You my first priority. Father, please wipe the slate clean as I develop a deeper personal relationship with You. Thank You for renewing a right spirit in me and making me a new creation. God, I receive Your new beginning today as I walk with You, in Christ’ name! Amen.

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Brag On God

8 Reasons You Should Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

In today’s verse, David was declaring the goodness of God and bragging on His faithfulness! We need to always remember that every blessing in life is from God. That job, good break, healing, or new opportunity – that was God’s doing. Scripture says that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father above.

There’s an old gospel song that says, “Look What The Lord Has Done.” The song just brags on God. It’s a great reminder that all through the day we should be bragging on God’s goodness. We should be remembering His mighty acts. See, when we give God all the glory, that’s when He will pour out His blessings in greater measure. When we are humble and don’t try to take the credit, His grace and favour increases on us.

Today, look for opportunities to brag on God. If you are breathing today, brag on Him as your Creator. If you got to work safely today, brag on Him for being your Protector. If you are facing a difficulty, brag on the fact that He is your Deliverer and breakthrough is on the way! Keep declaring His goodness and faithfulness, and watch what God will do on your behalf!

“The LORD has done this, and it is marvellous in our eyes.” (Psalm 118:23, NIV)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, You alone are worthy of all the praise and glory for the good things in my life! Father, thank You for blessing me; thank You for the breakthroughs in my past and the breakthroughs in my future. God, I brag on You because You are good, and worthy of all praise, in Christ’ name! Amen.

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What Is The Address In Your Heart Today?

Total Recall

What I’m really asking, is what are you expecting to happen in your life? What kind of attitude do you have? If your thoughts are stuck and you’re focused on what’s wrong, or what’s not working, then it’s time to change your address! It’s time to pack up your belongings and move out of the land of discouragement. It’s time to move out of the “nothing’s-going-to-happen street” or “I-can’t-do-it road”. It’s time to pack your bags and move into the “Ray of hope close” or “by faith boulevard”, or even “expectation manor!”

Every time you get a negative thought and you want to dwell in “nothing’s-going-to-happen street,” or “I-can’t-do-it road” instead, dwell on God’s promises, pack your bags and change address.

Today, every time you declare God’s faithfulness, you are taking a step in the right direction, and you’re moving from your old address (old way of thinking) into a new one. The Bible says that those who hope in the Lord will never be put to shame. Hallelujah! As you turn your focus toward Him, you will start living in “Hope street” – a land where His peace, blessings and victory reside.

“…my flesh also will dwell in hope.” (Acts 2:26, ESV)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank You for ordering and directing my steps. Father thank You for moving me out of “I-can’t-do-it-road” to “expectation manor”, a place of hope and expectation! God, I claim Your promises, I choose to set my mind on You, knowing that You are faithful. God, I release the past and invite You to fill me with Your peace, blessings and victory, in Christ’ name! Amen.

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Keep Adding Clean Water

Do you want to be changed? Meditate on God’s Word and His marvellous deeds and it will change you! It will begin to drive out old, negative thoughts and fill you with His strength and power. How does that happen? Imagine that you are holding a glass of dirty water in your hand. It’s full of all kinds of dirty particles. If you were to pour fresh, clean running water into that glass continually, and just let it overflow over and over, eventually all the dirty water would be gone. All you would have left is the pure, clean water. And, you wouldn’t have to really do anything to get rid of the dirty water, except allow the new, clean water to flow.

Today your mind is cleansed and renewed in the same way. By getting into the habit of pouring continuously the right thoughts–thoughts of faith, thoughts of victory, thoughts of praise–then before long, your mind is going to be transformed and renewed. You’re going to find yourself positive, hopeful, strong and courageous. You’ll see God’s hand of blessing and increase, and you will live the abundant, victorious life He has in store for you!

“Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; meditate on and talk of all His marvellous deeds, and devoutly praise them.” (Psalm 105:2, AMP)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, today I humbly submit my whole mind to You. Father, I choose to meditate on You and Your promises, so that You can cleanse and renew my mind. I commit to getting rid of my sinful dirty mind, by daily pouring in clean thoughts of faith, victory, praise, kindness and love. God, thank You for working in me, in Christ’ name! Amen.

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How To Change Bad Habits

The Church The Bad and The Ugly 3

What needs changing in your life? A bad habit, a bad attitude, or even negative, evil thoughts. You have to start by changing your mind. You have to change your thinking so that your thoughts are in line with God’s thoughts. When you make the decision to follow God in every area of your life, you open the door for His supernatural power to work.

I always say, your life will go in the direction of your thoughts. You can’t just allow any old thought or image to play in your mind. Nip it in the bud, you have to choose positive thoughts quickly.

Today, the easiest way to change your thoughts is by speaking God’s Word. When you say “mango,” you probably won’t start thinking about a banana. In the same way, when you confess the Word of God, which says you are more than a conqueror, you’re the head and not the tail, it will drive those negative, defeating thoughts away! Change your mind now by changing your words!

“Repent (think differently; change your mind, regretting your sins and changing your conduct), for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 3:2 AMP)

Let’s Pray 

Yahshua, today I choose to take captive every thought that is contrary to Your will. Father, I repent for anything in my mind and behaviour that displeases You. God, empower me today to saturate my mind with Your Word, by Your spirit, so that I can bring honour to You, and break my bad, negative habits, in Christ’ name! Amen.

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Let’s Pray Differently

7 Heroes of Faith and the Power of Prayer in Their Lives

Lately, I’ve found myself constantly praying for God to change my situations.

As if he doesn’t realize how messed up the world is. How broken we are. How chaotic 2020 has felt. I ask Him to change the circumstances surrounding me as if He’s just sitting up in heaven watching Netflix completely unaware of what’s happening in this world He created. As if He’s forgotten about us down here. But He hasn’t. He knows what’s happening. Nothing that happens in this world happens without his consent. He’s allowing it to continue to happen because He’s not done doing what He’s planning to do with it. Are you following?

Now let’s turn to the Old Testament superstar of struggle… Job. His story is unique in that we get a little glimpse at the dialogue between God and Satan. Satan and his angels come to God and get this… he had to ask God’s permission to mess with Job’s life. God literally gave His consent for the enemy to do whatever he wanted with everything Job had, but with an important condition: “…but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” (Job 1:12b)

For those of you that aren’t familiar with the story, Satan proceeded to take away everything Job had including all of his livestock and fields, his wife and children, and even his health. He left Job broke and alone, but through all of Job’s struggles and heartache, God was never worried because He still held Job’s life. God’s protection was on him the whole time.

So now that we’ve seen God’s side of it, let’s look at Job’s perspective. How did he respond? Well Satan’s plan here was to get Job to curse the name of God, but Job wouldn’t do it. Even after everything was taken from him and his three friends blamed him for his misfortune and gave him a bunch of bad advice, Job still praised God. His faith was not shaken. He prayed things like this:

“But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” – Job 23:10

and this…

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” – Job 42:2

Even when he had nothing, Job still held on to the faith that God would use all of those awful circumstances to refine him like gold. He still acknowledged God’s power and honored Him. I want to pray like Job.

Instead of praying for God to change my circumstances, I want to pray that God will never stop using my circumstances to change me. I challenge you to do the same. Instead of praying for God to “fix” things so they can go back to our broken version of “normal,” let’s ask Him to keep shaking things up until they’re better, new, and more reflective of His kingdom.

“This, then, is how you should pray:
‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven…'” – Matthew 6:9-10 (emphasis mine)

Let’s ask Him to change our hearts in the face of uncertainty rather than asking Him to make COVID-19 go away. Let’s ask Him to cover our family with peace in the face of loss rather than blaming him for taking our loved one away. Let’s ask Him to change the hearts of those corrupted by power and authority instead of acting in violence in response to offense. Let’s ask for the coming of His glorious kingdom rather than asking for a perfect life in our own little bubble.

Because here’s the thing: circumstances will always change and more often than not, they will be inconvenient, uncomfortable, and difficult. So let’s stop complaining and wishing for an easier life.

Sooner or later, you’ll have to respond, and it’s how we respond that matters. It’s how God is using it to make us look more like Him that matters. It’s how it fits in to the bigger picture of the redemption of God’s creation that matters.

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” – Thessalonians 5:16-18

So, let’s not get swept up in trying to pray away our problems. Let’s take up a different stance, and pray through them, because that allows God to change us, grow us, and mold us to better reflect His glory.

Remember, nothing in this world happens without God’s consent. Your bad day didn’t sneak past His radar while He was enjoying His morning coffee. He allows our circumstances to be difficult because He wants us to be a little uncomfortable, because that’s when we turn to Him and lean on Him so He can remind us of His power and glory. So let’s embrace whatever circumstance we find ourselves in and commit to seeking out the Lord and His goodness. Because no matter how broken we are, He is always good.

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Forward Ever, Backward Never

Many people don’t fully understand what it means to forget the past. Do I do away with my history? Do I make myself vulnerable again? How do I forget something that’s happened to me?” Some of the biblical definitions of this phrase is to “disregard intentionally, to overlook or to cease reliving the pain.”  

In practical terms, what this verse is saying is that you have to choose to disregard your past, so that it doesn’t keep you from moving forward. That means the good and the bad. Even our past victories can sometimes keep us from rising higher. If we don’t let go of the old, we’ll never be able to embrace the new. 

Today, it doesn’t matter what’s happened in your history, it’s time to forget what‘s stopping you from moving forward. Make the choice today to look forward. Trust that God has a better future in store for you, with greater blessings, favour and massive victories. Hallelujah! Trust Him. As you forget pain, hurt and even some self-cantered victories, press forward and you will see the abundant life the Lord has in store for you! 

“…I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” (Philippians 3:13, NLT) 

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, I choose to forget the past that holds me back and makes me vulnerable. Father, I don’t want anything to hold me back from the good future You have prepared for me. God, I choose forgiveness, and ask that You help me by Your Holy Spirit to press forward in every area of my life. In Christ’s Name! Amen.  

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Justin Bieber Drops a Kanye Bombshell as He Opens up about Leading Worship

“I like making the music that I make,” Bieber said when asked if he would be recording a worship album.

Justin’s has immersed himself in religion in recent years, attending both Churchome and Hillsong services, and now it looks like he’s taking on a bigger role.

On Wednesday night Justin Bieber led worship at a Churchome service in Beverly Hills. Clips from the performance went viral on social media.

He wrote,

Sang at church last night. God is pulling me through a hard season. Having trust in Jesus at your worst times is the absolute hardest. But he is faithful to complete what he started. I also want to thank my wife for being such a huge support in my life through this season ”¦ it says in the Bible count it ALL JOY when you face trials of various kinds. Sounds insane considering when u face trials u feel terrible. But if we are grateful and worship god for what we do have in that season there is so much power in that”¦ whatever pain you are going through just keep telling yourself THIS WONT LAST! Love you guys we in this together

According to TMZ, pastor Judah Smith explained to the congregation that it was time for Bieber to help lead the flock in song after years of being a worshipper.

Bieber says his breakout moment was part of a larger message he wants to spread.

The 25-year-old has been open about his faith – particularly in recent years – attending services at Churchome and Hillsong.

In the caption to an Instagram post featuring a few clips from the evening, Bieber alluded to some recent struggles in life during this “hard season”, but also said he is leaning on his faith to get him through. He also encouraged others who are experiencing difficult times to rely on Christ.

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What Is Happening In France?

Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris

Over two hundred churches attacked in France in the past two years, twenty of them burned to the ground. And now Notre Dame… what on earth is happening in France?

I was channel surfing last month when I caught the tail end of a news report: Notre Dame was on fire. I couldn’t believe it! Memories of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Aristocats, Ratatouille, and The Three Musketeers all surfaced as I watched the news report. How on earth did a building as long-standing and well-known as this simply go up in flames?

My mind started spinning with possible reasons for the fire such as arson, a terrorist attack, or faulty wiring. The building is over 800 years old, maybe some old wiring sparked and caused the fire. However, according to Benjamin Mouton who served as Chief Architect of Historic Monuments in France, this cannot be the case. All electrical wiring of Notre Dame was updated in the 90s; furthermore, they had alarm mechanisms in place for things such as fires. And what about the two men that were meant to patrol the area? For such a historic building, there has to be some form of security in place, and there was, day and night. What happened to those two men?

I waited for the result of the investigation to be released, expecting it to take a couple weeks due to the size of the cathedral. To my surprise, the authorities were able to give information to the public before the ashes had even stopped smouldering. How is that even possible? How were they able to rule out arson and terrorism so quickly? Where was the thorough investigation? Did they take into consideration that many churches in France had been attacked, and some even burned down? I smell a rat here.

What the authorities were saying and what I was seeing and hearing was just not making any sense. First of all, we are talking about wood that is over 800 years old- that stuff is not easy to burn! It would take an extraordinary amount of effort to ignite the amount of oak in the cathedral, but somehow it wasn’t caught soon enough to avoid the amount of damage sustained. Once again, where were the two watchmen who were meant to keep an eye out for such things? Why did the fire have to get to that stage?

Youtube has a wealth of information on every topic that you could ever think of, and many people take it upon themselves to look for the truth. I happened across a video of a mysterious figure on the Notre Dame rooftop before the fire began, but what really caught my eye was the figure’s odd movements. The person seemed to be going to specific spots on the roof, and once they moved away, there would be a flash of light in the area just vacated. With all the conspiracies going on in the world, could this be one of them?

The President of France has promised to rebuild the monument and make it even more beautiful than before, but he said something else that caught my antennae. He said that he wants to rebuild the building to reflect their modern multi-diversity… Multi-diversity? Considering that France is no longer known as a Christian country, what could he mean? Now, I am aware that Christianity and Catholicism are two different things although the world lumps us into one box. The cathedral was even consecrated to the Virgin Mary, something that has nothing to do with our faith. However, his statement raised warning flags in my mind because I immediately thought of either a mosque-like building being built or something that reflects the One World Order that is coming to existence at an alarming speed. When I read that many billionaires and companies were pledging millions of dollars to rebuild the cathedral, I found it fascinating. Why put so much money towards building Notre Dame when people around the world are in need? The contribution racked up a staggering $1 billion in a matter of hours, and pledges were still pouring in. What is their interest in the building? What does this building truly represent for them?

Then the bombings in Sri Lanka took place, and it left no doubt in my mind that all of these events, the timeframe of them, the type of media coverage, hiding of the truth, etc. all seem to be part of some global plan. This is not just a coincidence! We need to have ears that hear and eyes that see for us to take note of all that is unfolding around us. It’s both an exciting and dangerous time to be alive. Exciting because Jesus is most certainly on His way, and dangerous due to Christian persecution being ramped up. Make no mistake: things will unfold whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.

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For the Single Christian Woman ‘getting on in Years’

For the Single Christian Woman 'getting on in Years'

We hear about the saying ‘age ain’t nothing but a number’, but that only seems to apply to some situations. When you’re a single woman past the age of twenty-five, your age becomes a topic of discussion, especially if you do not have wedding bells on the horizon or even the perfect job. Before you know it, ‘age ain’t nothing but a number’ transitions to ‘you’re getting on in years’ in a blink of an eye.

I’ll be attending the wedding of a relative in just under two weeks. As many women would agree, finding the right outfit to suit the colour scheme of the wedding, settling on the perfect hairstyle to compliment your outfit, and whether or not it is wise to wear heels are the topics of discussion right up until the day of the wedding. The day after and the following few weeks are usually reserved for those who believe themselves to be the fashion police, commenting on the myriad of outfits worn at the wedding. Of course, the anticipation of what the bride will wear and look like is the main reason for our attendance (well, it is for my large family), followed by other reasons such as showing support, joining in the couple’s happiness, and hopefully catching the bouquet to stand a chance of being the next bride. Now, you will likely not find me anywhere near the bride when it is time to catch the bouquet. I will either excuse myself and rush to the restroom until the commotion is over or busy myself with a task that requires me to stay put, such as quickly picking up a relative’s fussing baby to calm them down. You see, when you’re single and nearing thirty, people cannot help but turn to look at you when all the single ladies are called up for the bouquet-tossing, because when you get to my age, it appears to be a downright shame to not even have the sound of wedding bells in your near future.

The thing is, I don’t live my life according to the rules or recommendations of the world. In fact, I’m considered to be a strange woman by many for the beliefs I have concerning dating and marriage. As a Christian woman, whether single or married, you are always aware of Who you serve and your commitment to Him. His ways are not the worlds’ ways, so must be our ways as well. However, seeing as I know nothing about being married and everything about being single, I’m sticking to what I know!

Whenever I meet an old friend or family member (usually in passing), the topic of marriage and children will be brought up 90% of the time. I try my best to steer clear of the topic, but when you’re a certain age, it becomes near impossible to avoid the discussion. Whenever I reveal my single status, they usually look at me with sympathetic eyes and tell me ‘don’t worry, you’ll meet someone soon’. It then becomes challenging for me to either not laugh or become annoyed by the insinuation that I need a husband to complete my life. If I tell them that I’m not concerned about marriage or having children, they look at me as though I have taken leave of my senses!

Marriage is a beautiful covenant between a man and a woman, and having children is a blessing- there is no doubt about that. However, to imply that the primary existence for all women is to get married and have children by the age of thirty at best, or pushing it at thirty-five is ridiculous to me. As Christian women, our first reason for existence is Jesus Himself. We are to put Him first in all that we do, that includes whether or not we get married. I have met far too many distraught single Christian women because they cannot seem to find the right man to marry. That’s our first mistake- worrying about who we are going to marry.

When I turned twenty-five, I still had no urge to find a man and settle down. Of course, I received a few side looks and whispered words about my single status, but that didn’t affect me. I suppose back then people believed that there was still hope for me yet. Nearly five years later, and those same people think my case to be hopeless. Even some Christian women have something to say, which I find odd considering the fact that we know Who the Author of our lives is. I have no doubt in my mind that if I am meant to get married, then I will, and if I am not, then I won’t- I’m not about to force the situation and end up unhappy. GOD has the perfect plan for our lives, and that includes a life-changing event such as marriage. I believe that many Christian women forget this and try to go at it alone, and when they realise that they have made a mistake, they either try to blame GOD for not improving their situation or take the divorce route.

Getting married is a serious matter, and who you get married to is incredibly important. I believe that GOD has this matter in your life sorted before you’re even born! It is essential to marry the man that GOD has set aside for you, whether that man comes into your life at the age of twenty or fifty. It’s no use going hunting for a husband at a church or anywhere else that you believe you’ll find him because you’re going about it the wrong way. When the right time comes according to GOD’S plan for your life, your intended will enter your life. We waste a lot of our time worrying about this aspect of our lives when we should be devoting our time to GOD. In 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, the Apostle Paul gives advice to the unmarried as a man whom the LORD in His mercy has made trustworthy (vs 25). The particular verse that struck a chord in me was verse 34: There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the LORD that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world- how she may please her husband. As single Christian women, our attention is on the LORD (or should be), we don’t have to worry about pleasing a spouse, making a home for a family, or doing other wifely duties. While there is no wrong in any of this (a shout out to all the wives and all that they do for their families), we should appreciate our single status more rather than fret about it. You can serve the LORD without distraction, give Him more of your time, and in return experience the sweetest joy of communion with our Heavenly Father. Instead of wasting your single state on worrying about getting married, rather use it to further your relationship with the LORD.

Stop looking at your age as an indication for where you believe you should be in life. GOD does not work according to man’s time, but His own. Most importantly, stop comparing yourself to the Christian sister who just got married, or the one who is about to get married or you may fall into the sin of coveting. The devil has the ability to strike you where it hurts the most, and if you’re stressing about your single status, he will most definitely use that to his advantage. Your stress indicates that you do not trust GOD’S plan for your life, that He does not have your best interests at heart when in actual fact He knows you better than you know yourself. Some of us are just not ready to get married yet, and forcing marriage will undoubtedly prove disastrous. Also, marriage is not for everyone. There are people that GOD has set apart, those that will not get married. It is not to say that they never wanted to get married, but they would rather obey the Almighty than their own wants and needs. I would rather remain in GOD’S will for my life than take a route that He never intended for me.

Be happy in your position. It is not people that you should listen to, but GOD. Place your focus on Him, get busy with the work of the LORD. You never know, you might look up one day and see your intended standing before you with no help from you. I would take GOD’S best over my own choice any day, how about you?

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5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

5 Truths about God’s Design for Sex in Marriage

Living in an over-sexualized culture, we hear messages about sex, wrong messages.   These messages become more a part of us than God’s truth because we hear them repetitively and churches are scared to address sexuality.

For too long, I believed the world’s message about sex.   That it’s a superficial, feel-good avenue to self-satisfaction.   Wrong, partly.   God did design sex to feel good!

But, there is more than that.   He designed it for profound spiritual, physical, and emotional connection.   It is just a shadow of things to come.

God’s design of sex is too amazing to keep silent about.

Here are five truths about God’s design of sex in marriage.

God designed sex to be bonding.

Not only spiritually bonding, but emotionally and physically.   When the two become one flesh, biochemicals are released in our bodies like oxytocin and dopamine.   Oxytocin, especially, is a bonding chemical.   When I embraced this truth and started engaging in the marriage bed more, the tone of our marriage completely changed.

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24 (NIV).

God designed sex for both husband and wife to experience pleasure.

It’s an equal opportunity activity.   Why else would there be a clitoris?   It’s only function is for pleasure.   The Song of Solomon is full of beautiful poetic language about the pleasures of physical love for both spouses.

If one spouse struggles with the ultimate moment, there are Christian resources available to help the couple understand how to achieve mutual enjoyment.

“The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved,” Song of Solomon 7:13 (NIV).

God designed sex so that we would know yearning.

Before you were married, you yearned for your fianc.   Not only did you crave your fiance’s touch, you craved his/her presence and knowing him/her better.  Even after years of marriage, it is good to remember this yearning.  It mirrors how God desires us to yearn for him.   I believe this is one reason he frequently uses the marriage as a symbol of his relationship with us throughout the Bible.

“Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us?” James 4:5 (NIV).

God designed the marriage bed to be a place to show the fruit of the Spirit.

Peace, patience, love, joy, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control are the foundation of all Christian life, especially the marriage bed.   All conflict surrounding the marriage bed can be managed through employing these key traits.

My own marriage endured a long season of mismatched sex drives.   It was through these qualities and some wise communication tools that we overcame our conflict.

God designed sex as a powerful mystery.

Biblical stories of sex often confused me when I was young.   There was some nasty stuff in the old testament, the rape of Dinah, Lot and his daughters, the men of Gibeah  clammering for the male visitor, Leviticus 20.   And yet, there is the beautiful Song of Solomon.   The New Testament seemed to prefer celibacy, to be honest.   As a teenager, I couldn’t understand why I liked thinking about sex if it was disgraceful and violent.

But, as an adult, I realized the stories were teaching me that sexual intimacy is powerful and mysterious.   It’s OK not to have it all figured out, as long as you respect the power it holds to do good when it is aligned with God’s perfect design.

“For my thoughts  are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the  Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways  and my thoughts than your thoughts,” Isaiah 55:8-9.

Final Thoughts

Don’t let the world’s message of cheap sex destroy the meaningful sex in your marriage.   Sex may only be a small portion of the whole of your marriage.   However, sex matters.   It especially matters if one spouse is more interested than the other.   When we ignore its power and importance in marriage, the relationship suffers.

Now, granted chronic health issues can affect sexual function and that’s a more complicated story.

 

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What Should Be Different about a Christian Marriage?

What should be different about a Christian marriage?

You get a lot of advice before you get married.

“Never go to bed angry.”

“Keep dating.”

“Make your partner your first priority.”

“Don’t walk out during an argument.”

“It’s all about communication.”

So why on earth do so many marriages fail?

Reasons Why Couples Break Up

Marriage has gotten quite a bad reputation over the years. The butt of a seemingly infinite number of jokes, matrimony is a source of endless social commentary, gender politics, and governmental debate.  

According to recent University of Maryland divorce research, you’ve got about a 50/50 chance of growing old with your spouse. If the statistic did not shock you, the reasons many couples decide to separate will not either.

 “The relationship was built more on lust than a true partnership.”

“I wasn’t present.”

“We were together 15 years, I was unhappy for 11 of them.”

“We were co-parents, not lovers.”

“We didn’t choose to work on the marriage, day in and day out.”

“It was like we were on opposite teams.”

“Married too fast”

“Bedroom boredom”

I was a full-time manager in the marriage.  

“There was no respect.”

“There was no real intimacy.”

Many people mistakenly believe that most marriages end almost exclusively because of infidelity, however, while this certainly is a major factor, the decision to terminate a marriage is much more complicated.

“Conventional wisdom tells us that those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.”

A marriage is a lot like buying a new car. Driving it out of the showroom is bliss. As you cruise off you can hardly believe your luck. Everything feels,  sounds, smells and looks perfect. You coast through many months—sometimes even years— of happy driving before the car needs an MOT or service. But like a car, when a relationship eventually breaks down, it’s flabbergasting; you’re left stuck on the side of the road trying to figure out what on earth went wrong and realise that no car or relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Christ-centred Marriage

“Our culture still shapes our thinking and conduct regarding marriage to an incredible degree.”

It’s easy to think that only “other people” get divorced. That your own marriage is somehow immune to heartache, infidelity and fights over who gets the house, car and dog. After all, how many of us would walk down the aisle if we knew for sure that our relationships would end up in divorce court.

Viewing Marriage Realistically

Christian or not, marriage is difficult for any couple to sustain over a lifetime. Life’s trials—the pressure of making a living, of parenting, of resisting temptations to unfaithfulness or selfishness.  But Christian marriage offers hope.  

“We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession.”

Christians marriages should be shaped by the cross of Christ, the Word of God, and the Spirit of God.

“Above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins’ ” (1 Peter 4:8).

“Her husband ”¦ praises her” (Proverbs 31:28).

“She who is married cares ”¦ how she may please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:34).

“Be kindly affectionate to one another ”¦ in honor giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10).

“Pray for one another” (James 5:16).

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

Successful marriages don’t just happen; they must be developed.

Serving Our Spouse

Another key component in a Christian marriage is selflessness, as described in Philippians 2:3-4. The principle of humility outlined in these verses is crucial to a strong Christian marriage. If happiness is our primary goal, we’ll get a divorce as soon as happiness seems to wane.  With greater awareness of the principle of thought, many marriages can be saved and even strengthened.

Becoming “one” is about more than sex. It requires a level of vulnerability that opens the door for deep hurt. Both husband and wife must consider their partner’s needs before their own, which requires a selflessness that is only possible by the power of the Holy Spirit who indwells them.

“Focus on your spouse’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.”

“Encourage rather than criticize.”

“Pray for your spouse instead of gossiping about them.”

“Learn and live what Christ teaches about relating to and loving others.”

It is a partnership of love, made richer and deeper through sex.  Continue—or revive—your courtship into your married life.

Marriage isn’t always easy and the sad reality is that not all “I dos” end with a happily ever after. However, the primary difference between a Christian marriage and a non-Christian marriage should be that Christ is the centre of the marriage. With a Christ-centered relationship, an other-centered attitude and an unwavering commitment to making it work, your marriage can flourish — just as God designed.

Which of these reasons is most true in your marriage? Please share with me below.

 

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