Your Time Is Coming

God knows the desires of your heart. God has an appointed time to fulfil the dreams and desires based upon His will and purpose for your life. Just because it has taken a long time, or because you’ve tried and failed, doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. Don’t give up on those dreams! Don’t be complacent about pursuing what God has deposited into your heart. God is faithful. No matter how long it’s been, no matter how impossible things look, if you’ll stay in faith, your time is coming.

Don’t forget every positive dream that’s in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God put it there. Not only that, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. Declare today by faith, “my time is coming. God is working on my behalf. I will fulfil my destiny!”

Today, as you continue to hold on to your God-given vision and speak life over your dreams and desires, it won’t be long before you will see them begin to take shape. You’ll see your faith grow, you’ll see your hope strengthen, and you’ll see yourself step into the destiny God has prepared for you! Hallelujah!

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time…though it tarry, wait for it…”
(Habakkuk 2:3, KJV)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, I receive Your Word today. Father, I wait patiently for the fulfilment of my dreams and desires. Ignite my heart with Your holy fire, so that I can pursue Your perfect plan for my life. Almighty God, make my thoughts and words agreeable to Your Word and Your will, so I can see my dreams come to pass sooner rather than later, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

August 25, 2020August 25, 2020

Now Faith = Now Blessings

The goal of every believer is to please God. We are told that faith is what pleases God. It gives substance to the things we hope for and makes them tangible. Faith opens the door to God’s favour and shows our dependence on Him.

The Bible tells us we’ve all been given a measure of faith, but it’s up to each of us to nurture it, develop it and use it. We develop our faith by surrendering our lives to God and meditating on His Word. We exercise our faith through our prayer and actions. Today’s verse starts by saying, “Now faith.” It’s not “later” faith or “one day” faith. We have to have faith for today, right now.

Today, do you believe that God has blessings in store for you, right now? Do you believe He wants to pour out His favour on you right now? Put your faith into practice by speaking and believing that His promises are coming to pass right now in your life. Use your “now” faith and see “now” blessings!

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
(Hebrews 11:1, KJV)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank You for the gift of faith that can move the mountains of trials in my life. Father, I choose to trust Your promises which are a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Oh God, show me how to totally surrender to You, so that I can continue to grow in faith. I really want to please You in every area of my life, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

August 14, 2020August 14, 2020

Lean On Me When You’re Not Strong

Biblical Quotes and Ways to help you Overcome Rejection

This year, this month, this week has been strange to say the least, with unprecedented difficulties. We are facing a situation that seems like it has no logical solution. Sometimes we have to turn our minds off, stop trying to figure it all out, stop overanalysing, and stop researching everything. When you don’t see the answer in the natural realm, it’s time to stop leaning on your own understanding and choose to trust God.

Scripture says that we can’t lean on our own understanding. Did you know our thinking can be a distraction to that place inside where God speaks to our heart. Our minds can allow fear and dread to distract us from what God is trying to tell us. We have to take time to shut off the distractions, shut off fear, and listen to what’s going on inside of us. That’s where faith rises up. That’s where all of a sudden you’ll feel a spark of hope, even when things look impossible. Hallelujah!

Today, no matter what things looks like in the natural, choose to lean on Him. When situations have no logical solution, trust God. Trust that He has favour in store for your future. Trust that something good is about to happen. Trust Him because He alone can take you to new levels in every area of your life!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5, NIV)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank you for always being there for me to lean on. Father, today I need to lean on You, the load seems very heavy. I trust and believe that You are working things out for my good, despite what I see in the natural. God, I won’t put my confidence in what I see, but I will trust in Your every Word, which has never failed and remains true forever, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

August 13, 2020August 13, 2020

You Have Ambassadorial Authority

50 Quotes to Inspire Successful Leadership

Did you know God wants to do His work on earth through you? You are His ambassador or representative. You have been given His authority and power to act on His behalf. It’s easy to get focused on this natural realm and all the things that we need, but do you realise that you are equipped to be somebody else’s miracle?

The Scripture tells us we are Christ’s ambassador. Daily, we have opportunities to show God’s love and compassion to others. We can meet needs, bring them healing, and offer hope and encouragement. Every day, we can sow good seed into the lives of others that will reap an everlasting harvest. Hallelujah!

Today, don’t overlook the ways to be a blessing to someone else. When you step out and pour God’s love, joy and peace into others, He will make sure that others pour into you. Let’s continue to work together to bring Him glory and build His eternal kingdom!

“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us…” (2 Corinthians 5:20, NIV)

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank You for choosing me and using me as Your ambassador. Father, I fully surrender every area of my life to You. God, show me ways to be a miracle to others, through the love and compassion You have given me, so that my life will bring You glory, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

June 4, 2020June 4, 2020

Meditation Is Part Of The Solution

“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you.” (Exodus 3:14, NIV)

One of the things that will bring you sanity during these chaotic times is meditating, particularly before you start your day, or at the end of the day. To meditate on something simply means to think about it, and let the meaning of it sink deep down into your heart.

Meditation is a spiritual practice that’s encouraged throughout scripture. The key is to draw on God’s wisdom found in His Word, which is filled with the blessings and benefits of meditating on its principles. For example, meditating on God’s Word will give you spiritual, physical and emotional success. That’s exactly what God told Joshua as Israel got ready to enter the Promised Land.

Today, when everyone is looking for solutions and success, God’s definition of both of these is to know Him better. One way you can do that is to read and understand His Word. Another benefit of meditating on God’s Word is that it will help you keep your heart and mind right before Him, especially in these times. The Bible is like a mirror and a lens that accurately shows you where your heart really is, and how to move forward.

“Study this Book of the Law continually. Meditate on it day and night so you may be sure to obey all that is written in it. Only then will you succeed.”
(Joshua 1:8, NLT)

Pray With Me
Yahweh, You have said that Your Word is living and active. Father, help me have the appetite for meditating on Your Word daily, so I can live and be successful. God, today I pledge to spend time allowing this living Word to search my heart, and make sure I am right before You, moving forward with vision and vigour, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

March 12, 2020December 21, 2020

More Hope Than Optimism

Talking to some of the youth at school yesterday, amidst their optimism, there also seems to be a lot of hopelessness. It’s time to set our hope on God so we are not easily swayed by the trials of life.

Setting our hope on God means we set our lives in the right direction. One translation of today’s verse says, “look forward to more and more of God’s favour.” God wants to pour out His goodness and grace on you. He wants to help you get ahead in this life. He wants to lead you to the right job. He wants to lead you to the right relationship. But here’s the key: we have to be on the lookout for more and more of God’s favour. More and more of God’s hope. More and more of God’s grace. That tells me that we can’t get stagnant.

Today, meditate on the truth that God wants to do more than you can even ask or think. It says in Ephesians that He wants to show us the immeasurable, limitless, surpassing greatness of His free favour. In other words, God wants to go above and beyond what we’re used to! He wants to show you favour in unusual and extraordinary ways. Set your hopes dynamically higher today, and increase your expectations of what God will do in your life!

“…set your hope wholly and unchangeably on the grace (divine favour) that is coming to you when Jesus Christ (the Messiah) is revealed.”
(1 Peter 1:13, AMP)

Pray With Me
Yahweh, thank You for Your abundance in every area of my life today. Father, I will set my hope on You, knowing that You want to do more in my life than I can ever imagine. God, by faith I receive more of Your favour, grace and hope. God, teach me to be a vessel used by You, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

September 10, 2019September 10, 2019

How the God of All Comfort Can Help You

We live in a world of temporary comfort. Oftentimes when people face challenges, they seek comfort by surrounding themselves with things that may seem familiar or pleasurable, like alcohol, cigarettes, illicit drugs, sex, sport, relationships, or food. But those things are temporary, and they can only bring temporary comfort. True, lasting comfort is available, and it’s only found in a personal relationship with God, through our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Webster’s dictionary defines comfort as “to give strength and hope; to ease grief or trouble.” No matter what difficulty you may be facing today, God wants to bring you comfort. Like a mother cares for her child, He longs to give you strength, hope and confidence.

Today, make the decision to put God first in every area of your life. Let go of those things that you know are holding you back. Let Him be Lord over all! As you surrender to His grace, you will be filled with His peace, joy and comfort. You’ll be empowered to overcome every obstacle, and you will be fulfilled all the days of your life.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you”¦”
(Isaiah 66:13, NIV)

Pray With Me
Yahweh, as I come to You, I invite You to fill my whole being with Your divine hope. Thank You Father, for being my lasting comfort and strength. Please, help me not to rely on the temporary pleasures of this life. God, empower me by Your Spirit to live in the victory You have established for me, in Jesus’ Name! Amen.

Dictionary Definition of Comfort

Look up comfort in a dictionary and you’ll find a definition like “something that promotes a state of ease or provides freedom from pain and anxiety.” But according to God’s Word, when consolation is needed, the only true solution is the indwelling Holy Spirit. In Greek, He is called parakl?tos, which means “he who stands at one’s side; he who comes to one’s aid.” Believers don’t have to rely on outward remedies or distractions to ease their mind, because help is available from the ultimate Comforter.

September 3, 2019September 3, 2019

Time to focus on your victories and not your past failures

Every morning when I open my facebook account my memories pop up. Most put a smile on my face — photos of baptisms, children and miracles. When you think about your past, what memories do you allow to play over and over in your mind? In the Old Testament, they had what they called memorial stones. These were used to remind the people about the good things God did in their lives, and all their victories.

We need to focus on our victories. Sure, we’ve all had setbacks, but when you meditate on your disappointments and failures, it only drains you of valuable energy. It steals your confidence and joy. But when you focus on your victories, it builds your strength and confidence, and increases your trust and your expectations in God. It also feeds your faith and gives you a reason to give God praise.

Today, I encourage you to get into the habit of focusing on your victories. Remember, every good and perfect gift comes from God. As you praise and thank Him for His victories in your life, He’ll pour out His blessing on you. He’ll open up supernatural doors for you to move forward in strength, to fulfil the dreams and desires He has placed in your heart!

“Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph”¦” (2 Corinthians 2:14, NKJV)

Pray With Me
Yahweh, thank You for Your faithfulness and victories in my life. Father, I will focus on the victories You have given me, and let go of any negative experiences from my past. God, I bless and praise You today, in Jesus’ Name! Amen.

Victory Quotes

Joyce Meyer
No matter what has happened to you in the past or what is going on in your life right now, it has no power to keep you from having an amazingly good future if you will walk by faith in God. God loves you! He wants you to live with victory over sin so you can possess His promises for your life today! Joyce Meyer

Bradley Whitford
One of the most surreal moments in this election was after the third debate, when I heard a talking head say, Al Gore won on substance, on the issues. But you have to give the victory to Bush because he seems presidential.

Bear Bryant
You Election Debate Moments If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards.

Joyce Meyer
Inspirational Yourself You Believe When you make a mistake and the devil comes and tells you ‘You’re no good,’ you don’t have to take on the guilt and condemnation he wants to put on you. No! You can immediately confess your mistake to God, thank Him for forgiving you and cleansing you with the blood of Jesus, and move forward in the victory of His grace and forgiveness.

Theodore Roosevelt
Good Forgiveness God You Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory. George S. Patton Motivational You Challenges Feel Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

August 23, 2019August 25, 2019

Fight Like Ana — Film Project: When Trajedy strikes, your Faith in God can help!

Fight Like Ana – Film Project: Watch this Video

Fight Like Ana is the story of a young woman stripped of everything, and how her faith and family gives her the strength to overcome incredible adversity. Reborn like a young child, she learns to walk again, to speak again, to navigate the difficult road to recovery.

THE INSPIRING STORY OF A YOUNG ATHLETE PLUNGED INTO DEATH, AND HER STORY OF REBIRTH. NBC Story – Ana Wakefield: Watch this Video with Ana Wakefield

Please help me get eyes on this project there seems to be fewer and fewer people these days to help just a little. Be a blessing and help a worthy cause please view the Videos. Please Share to help us find others to bless this project, that will be an inspiration to others not to give up.

Keep up with all the Updates: Be a Blessing to this Film Project – Click Here

The Story

On the morning of October 18, 2017, Ana Wakefield drove to practice, excited about her upcoming junior year of basketball at Multnomah University.

In a moment, her entire life changed when she became the victim of a hit and run. The nearly fatal crash left Ana with a traumatic brain injury, multiple fractures to her legs, a fractured eye socket, a collapsed lung, and several other injuries.

Over the past year and a half, Ana's recovery has been nothing short of a miracle. She went through death, and is alive again, beating the odds time and again as she rebuilds her life.

The Film

When part of you dies, how do you begin again?

At the beginning of June, the film crew flew in to capture interviews with Ana and the whole family, but this was only the first step in telling Ana’s story. Our next step is to edit the interview footage while raising funds to bring the film crew back to Oregon to shoot this documentary.

My Favorite Quote: "You get ahead in life by being helped along the way by others…
By you helping others along the way".

Thank you & God Bless!

August 21, 2019August 21, 2019

You Are Always On His Mind

“God is too busy to deal with my small problems, that’s why I haven’t heard from him yet.”

Have you ever had difficulty receiving from God because you thought, “God has better things on His mind,” or “this isn’t that important to Him?” It may be tempting to let your mind wander in that direction, but the truth is that nothing is more important to God than you are! Every detail of your life matters to Him.

Scripture tells us that He even counts the very hairs on your head. He bottles your tears and holds them as precious. You are important to Him, and nothing that concerns you is too big or too small for God! If you’ve had those discouraging thoughts come to mind, replace them by declaring the truth of God’s Word. Declare, “God’s thoughts are precious toward me. I am always on God’s mind. He loves me, and I matter to Him.”

Today, begin to replace the negative thoughts with the truth of God’s Word, and what He has said about you and His love for you, and your life will begin to change. You will see a transformation in your thinking. You’ll feel His love like you never have before; you will know Him in ways you’ve never known Him before, and you’ll experience His goodness and grace all the days of your life! Hallelujah!

“How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!”
(Psalm 139:17, NIV)

Pray With Me
Yahweh, how awesome You are! How great is Your love toward me! Father, help me to receive Your love so that I may know You more. Lord, please change my thinking, reminding me that You’re never too busy to hear from me, and my problems are never too small for You to overlook. God, thank You for perfecting everything that concerns me, as I daily cast my cares on You, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.

May 23, 2019May 23, 2019

Are You Waiting for God to Bless You?

I hate waiting. Nowadays there seems to be queues everywhere. What are you waiting for God to do in your life? One thing I’ve learned is that waiting should not be a passive thing. When we’re waiting, we’re on the lookout, we have expectation. We speak what we are expecting from God. We act like it’s going to happen. We spend time making preparations.

When you’re expecting someone special for dinner; you don’t wait till they show up before you decide to start cooking. Most likely you start early in the day. You make sure the house is clean, you go to the grocery store, and maybe you buy some flowers for the table. You make preparations because you’re expecting someone. Staying focused as you wait with excited expectation.

Today, the attitude we need to have while we’re waiting for God’s promises to come to pass, and our prayers to be answered, is one of excited expectation and preparation. Put your faith to work as you prepare for God’s answer to come. Keep standing, keep believing, and keep hoping because your answer is on the way!

“”¦faith without works is dead.”
(James 2:20, NKJV)?

Pray With Me
Yahweh, I choose to put actions behind my faith today. Father, I trust that You are working in my life as I wait for Your promises to come to pass. God, I will wait the right way – with expectancy and without complaining and worrying, knowing that my faith in You opens the door for Your hand to move in my life, in Jesus’ Name! Amen.

May 13, 2019May 24, 2019

God Will Bring You Through

On my radio show (prayer on the line) last Friday, I received requests from many individuals who are in difficult seasons of life. Things just aren’t going their way, or they’re not where they want to be in life. In these times, it’s tempting to let discouragement and doubt come in and take away the peace and excitement you once had.

If you’re in one of those seasons right now, where you are struggling to truly be happy, this is not the way God wants you to live. He tells us in scripture that even in the difficult times, He is with us. Even when you can’t see a way out, He will make a way through this season. Even when things don’t turn out the way you planned, He has a plan to turn things around and get you through.

Today, don’t get upset or discouraged about your current situation. Instead, be determined to walk through it to victory. Declare by faith that no weapon formed against you shall prosper. Declare by faith that you will rise higher and become stronger. Keep standing, keep believing and keep hoping, because God has a bright future in store for you, and you will get through! Hallelujah!

“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Your rod and Your staff protect and comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4, NLT)

Pray With Me
Yahweh, I humbly come to You today giving You this season in my life. Father, I ask for Your peace in the midst of life’s storms. Thank You for the promise that I will get through. God, give me Your strength to stand strong, knowing that with You, I will walk through every adversity the enemy has in store for me. I claim victory today, in Jesus’ Name! Amen.

January 14, 2019February 24, 2019

Fear Not

“Fear not . . .” Isaiah 43:1

“Fear not” – words that make us stand a little straighter and feel a little stronger. “Fear not,” (and words of a similar context) are found in the Bible more than a hundred times.[1] We’re taught that fear and faith cannot coexist. A fearful saint is not a faithful saint. But if you – like me – find yourself in a tumultuous situation, that contrast between the two extremes is a very real and present tension. Like the father in Mark 9, we find ourselves pleading – “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (v. 24). Over and over I pray: “God, I know You’ve got this. I know you are faithful. I know You will never leave me nor forsake me. But I’m scared God. I don’t want to be. I’m trying not to be. But I am.” And He understands. He doesn’t chide or rebuke me – He just gives me reasons not to fear.

Fear not . . . for God has heard (Gen. 21:18)

Fear not for I am with you (Gen. 26:24) (My favorite)

Do not be afraid, the Lord will fight for you (Deut. 3:22)

Do not be afraid . . . for the Lord will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut. 31:6)

Fear not; I will help you (Isa. 41:13)

Today, at the suggestion of my sister-in-love, I’ve been meditating in Isaiah 43 and found some incredible words of hope that fit my life perfectly:

“This is what the Lord says – He who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters” (v. 16); “I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland” (v. 19).

At this moment I am both drowning in the sea and wandering through a desert. Seems as odd as faith mingled with fear but let me explain. My emotions seem like an overflowing river, thoughts rushing this way and that, pulling me under and threatening to take my very breath. For a split second I come up for air – “I believe!” In the next the waves crash over my head again – “But I am afraid!” God promises to make a way – a path through the waters of fearful thoughts and discouragement that threaten to drown me. He promises dry ground to cross over to the other side.

Yet I am in the desert where nothing grows and all seems lost – walking through a season of drought. Health issues. Disability. Unemployment. Multiple applications with no nibbles. Interviews with “no thank you.” Watching the funds dwindle as the provisions dry up. The reality of what we’re facing beats down like the scorching sun as we wander looking for an oasis. God promises to make a way here too – to provide streams in this wasteland . Mind you not to drown us like the sea, but to refresh and restore us.

He meets our needs for rescue and refreshing. He gives us dry ground and cool springs. He never fails to notice us wherever we are – even when we’re in two places at once. Oh, my drowning, wandering friend – let me throw you a lifeline of hope. You don’t have to fear because God hears you, He is with you, He fights for you, He will never leave nor forsake you, and He promises to help you. He knows where you are right now, and He knows what you need right here. He will make a way.

[1] The NIV records some 110 references; other translations will have a slightly different word count. Despite how good is sounds, there are actually not 365 “Fear not” verses.

June 16, 2018June 16, 2018

Fathers to the Fatherless

Father’s Day didn’t have any meaning to me for most of my life, my biological father was abusive, and it was just a bad reminder of the past, but Father’s Day brings new meaning since I met my spiritual father.

According to the U.S. Census, approximately 15 million people in the U.S are fatherless. My earthly father was not a good father at all. He provided none of the essentials that I needed as a child or even now as an adult. My relationship with my biological father was anything but loving and trusting, and for the first 9 years of my life, it was torture.

After being placed in a foster home for a substantial portion of my childhood even there I did not have a father. At church, I was told that God was my father, but to me, that did not equate because of the experiences that I had already had. How could I see God as my Father when my biological Father caused me so much pain and abuse?

I have always loved God but accepting him as a Father was difficult. I had such a tainted view of what a Father really was, and I couldn’t grasp the magnitude of God’s love for me as Father.

It took the love of a spiritual father to change my mind about what a father was. A spiritual father is a father figure within the Body of Christ.

It was because of his relentless love and acceptance that I could finally see the Heavenly Father in a true light.

Seeing A Loving Father for the First Time

My Spiritual Father

I did not know I needed a Father figure, but God knew I needed a Father figure. It was amazing, God gave me so much more than just a Father, he gave me a Dad. We have a trusting, healthy father/daughter relationship and I thank God every day for that blessing in my life.

I can’t thank him enough for his love, and commitment to me. My Dad corrects me when I am wrong, and he forgives me even when I don’t deserve it. That’s the thing, a real father always forgives, and moves on, just like our Heavenly Father. A Spiritual father will always express and exemplify knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. A spiritual father will always give sound counsel and pour out blessings. A spiritual father will nurture and protect. He never leaves you even when you have messed up. A spiritual father will use those moments as teaching moments. A spiritual father should always be a representation of the heavenly father.

My Dad has also taught me a few other things, like how a real father is supposed to be.

1. My Father will never leave me.

God promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

God is deeply, unshakably committed to you. You never have to ask whether he will stay or leave.

My Dad shows me that a real Father will always be there no matter what. I never have to worry that he will get tired of me one day and be done with me, that’s not how a father/daughter relationship works.

2. The Father knows what I need.

Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” (Matthew 6:8)

My spiritual father always seems to know what I need spiritual and mentally and offers loving advice with respect to who I am a daughter.

3. The Father takes great delight in his children.

God says, in Isaiah 43:44″ you all “his children” are precious in my eyes,”

Without any love or encouragement from my dad, I could easily question whether I was loved at all. I used to constantly battle with how much I was worth.

4. The Father loves Unconditionally

(Romans 5:6–8) He is a hope for the abandoned, a refuge for the fearful, a Father to the fatherless.

Thankfully, our heavenly Father’s love for us is not conditional. He does not love us based on what we do to deserve his love. God loves us just because he loves us. Even when we’re disobedient and rebellious, He loves us.

God reaches out to you in great love even when you are at your worst.

Father’s hold such a vital role in our lives. In a Christian home, they are the beginning foundation of what our relationship will look like with our Heavenly Father.

If you don’t have a Father, consider reaching out to someone that has a close relationship with God and accept them as a mentor and if you are approached reciprocate. Maybe you don’t have a father, but you have a person in your life that has made an impact in your life, thank them for this.

Lastly, remember we all have our Father in Heaven. You can’t get any better than that. Make sure you honor him this Sunday and every day after.

Happy Father’s Day!

June 9, 2018June 9, 2018

Laura’s Story: How I’m Coping after Losing My Father to Suicide

I wanted to share a short version of my story from the perspective of a survivor of someone that has been directly affected by suicide. Recent news has broken my heart in a way that has made me realize that even the happiest faces can hide grotesque feelings of inadequacy. There is hope. Reach out- no matter what.

My Story

When I was 17, I received a phone call that forever altered the history of my life.

My dad had taken his own life.

As a result of this tragedy, I have limited memory. I have not been diagnosed with PTSD, but I can bet that it would be applied to my medical chart if I sought a diagnosis. I push out moments of time through perverted coping skills that I acquired from years of learning to deal with undefined emotions on my own. Just ask my husband how long it took me to finally remember the date of our anniversary. Six years.

There are other underlying issue that I dealt with for years after the news that my father had committed suicide.

As time passed, I started thinking about my two older brothers and how this event affected them. I would worry about losing them. I wondered if they were secretly hiding emotions and temptations of suicide.

To this day I haven’t openly discussed this with them. Mostly, because the wound from our father’s death seventeen years ago has scabbed over. Only occasionally do I let my mind wander to that place and begin picking at the crusted over terror. I quickly remember why I don’t visit much.

Thankfully, God saved my soul in October of 2004.

I was on a road that was going to lead me to a dead end in some form or fashion.

Once I realized that there is an eternal hope where I could place my past, present, and future, I knew that this was the answer.

Jesus is the answer to suicide. Those currently tempted and those who have survived.

I was given a book by my uncle and aunt shortly after my dad’s death. Honestly, I didn’t open it until a couple of years after receiving it. When I did, I read about a man that thinks I am precious in his sight- no matter what. A man that loves me- no matter how wretched I felt inside. This man was, of course, Jesus Christ.

I had a black hole of dread and emptiness in my heart and I was searching for something that could only be answered by the cross.

Learning To Love

Due to the handful of tragic events that have taken place in my life, I thought I would never know how to give or receive love appropriately. My mind had been distorted. At best, I could imitate how I imagined love was supposed to look like, but even then, I felt like I fell short.

After Jesus saved me, I learned about a love that covered every fear, anxiety, misconception, and torment that my flesh could wield.

His word became my sword for these emotions.

I slowly chopped down misguided feelings and replaced them with the rock solid truth of the Bible.

If You Feel Like No One Understands – Pick Up Your Phone

If you find yourself in a place of hopelessness and you are convinced that no one understands what you are going through, pick up your phone and call someone. If you think there is no one you can call that would possibly understand, then call this number: 1-800-273-8255. This phone number is one that you can call 24/7 and someone on the other line will be there and they understand. If you don’t feel like talking, then please text: HOME to 741741.

May 25, 2018May 25, 2018

My Dog Brought Me Closer to God

God works in mysterious ways sometimes! He will use who or what He deems crucial in order for us to learn a specific lesson. I know I sure did learn a very important lesson, two years ago, when I was at my lowest. At that time, the chronic pain I was suffering from was making me unable to walk very far and I had to start using a cane for most of my walking around. I was very depressed and I was having a hard time staying positive. I was praying, studying the Bible but my heart, felt heavy and I was discouraged.

I was in a place of doubts, more regarding my capabilities, not God’s of course! I was wondering if I was doing enough and I let those doubts control my thoughts which did not help at all to keep me hopeful. I felt very lonely since my dear husband was working but also trying is best to spend as much time as possible with me, I still found myself alone pretty often and it was making me crazy.

One day, I had the great idea of getting a dog! Did I know anything about having a dog? No. But I thought for sure, this would solve my problems and my husband being so comprehensive, agreed.

The next week, I go get this cute little puppy that I named Chloe! That poodle would eventually rock my world! You see, I’m an only child and I never was able to have children, so right then and there it should give you a clue of how much maternal instincts I had! After one week, I was ready to bring her back. After 1 month, I was lacking sleep to a degree that made me wish I could have enough strength to get to the nearest bridge and jump off of it!

My Dog Brought Me Closer to God

After one year, even after watching countless hours of training videos, of having the best food for her, reading the best books, going to a trainer and being available to her 24/7, I could no longer deal with that stress. I was already at my wits’ end with the chronic pain being unbearable, the sleepless nights, and the anxiety was at its worst. I did what I thought was right and put her for adoption. Yes, I know how you feel”¦I hated myself too at that point!

I’m pretty certain it’s exactly at that moment that God intervened. Well, He must have been there for a long time, I just didn’t realize it, I was too busy being stressed out!

Our dear God, whom I love so much, had a plan. He was going to teach me a very profound lesson on perseverance, love, and courage! And so He did.

After receiving that call from that lady who was going to adopt Chloe, I spend the last 2 days crying like a baby, thinking I was the meanest woman on this planet! Who could be this cold as too get rid of a small dog, that I had wanted all along, so what was wrong with me? Chloe knew something was wrong because, for the first time in one year, she became very still, calm, and could not stop looking at me, more “staring” at me and wanted to always be very close to me. A lot of staring was done on her part. I could not get why she suddenly changed so fast and so much. So, I cried even more, thinking this lady was now coming in a few hours. I started praying so hard, asking God to guide me, to help me make the right decision. I was so convinced that I was not the mother Chloe needed. I thought for sure, that’s why I couldn’t have any children: I would’ve been a miserable mommy! Oh, I was going downhill and fast!

The time came and went, without any signs of the lady. I called her twice, messaged her twice and we stood by the door waiting for hours, thinking she would eventually arrive. She never did.

That night, Chloe and I became best friends. I totally opened my heart to her and I think she did the same. I’m telling you, I could feel God’ presence with us, and I understood what He wanted for me and why He decided to send me Chloe. I now had to take courage and keep the faith we would become a great team. It was a question of faith: In God, in Chloe and in me!

You see, I was so busy convincing myself, I could certainly not be a good “mother” to this dog, since my mom was in no way a good role model, that I was preventing God to use Chloe to fill something in my life and more so, to enable me to play a role I had never played before. This role I would have to play it with confidence, love, and perseverance. This would in the long run, show me, I could care for someone properly and that I would’ve been a good mother! I needed to get in touch with that part of me that had not been activated. Yes, it’s just a dog! For a lot of people, animals are “just” animals and they don’t really care for them but for me, Chloe has become my daughter, my hope in a better me. I was able to take courage and start taking care of her with less anxiety and with more calmness. She was, of course, feeling all my stress, and I was surely stressing her out! But, God filled me with something I did not know I could have and I have been enjoying it for the last year.

Now, my dog and I, have a great relationship. She loves me so much, it’s unbelievable. She understands me very quickly and when my health is not at its best, she never leaves my side. She cuddles and stays with me for hours without asking anything in return except a few hugs and kisses which I gladly give her.

I did not understand how God sometimes works. He does what He has to do, so we can learn our lesson and become closer to Him in the long run. If it takes a dog to do it; He will get a dog and the next thing you know, you are buying dog’s clothes which you specifically said you would never buy. You find yourself staring at those beautiful brown eyes and you get happy just seeing that little dog running around without a care in the world.

The day God brought me to Chloe, I embarked on a very hard journey. But that journey permitted me to discover myself and also to transform my attitude. To start thinking that “I could” instead of thinking that “I couldn’t”!

So, next time, God brings in your life, something or someone, you did not expect, don’t be surprised if your life gets thrown upside down for a while. It’s part of His plan anyway. We often need to be shaken up a bit, to finally be able to properly understand the lesson.

A little “shaken up” does a body good sometimes! Even more so, if our Believed Father, is doing the shaking!

-Smile.