A young woman has spoken out about how she is pursuing Christ in the face of her struggle with same-sex attraction. As a teenager, Rachel Gilson began feeling attracted to women, and it wasn’t long before she embraced lesbianism.
Although she felt “neutral” towards Christianity growing up, as she began to pursue relationships with other girls, she says she became “more opposed to it”.
‘A big barrier’
“I saw it as being for stupid people”, said Rachel.
But by college, Rachel had become curious about the existence of God, secretly searching for information about Jesus and reading C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity.
“What I read about Jesus online was much more compelling than what I’d expected”, Rachel said, “but at the same time, my sexuality was a big barrier. I knew that I wanted to marry a woman someday, and I knew that Christianity wasn’t OK with that”.
‘God is real’
But one day, while reading, Rachel felt convicted that “God is real, and I am in a lot of trouble. Because not only is he real; he is perfect, and I am incredibly imperfect.”
She recalled: “I understood for the first time that Jesus had come to place himself as a kind of wall between God’s wrath — his right and fair anger at my sin — and me. I knew that if I trusted in Jesus, I was going to be saved.”
A student group on her college campus helped Rachel to grow in her faith, giving her a Bible, answering her questions, teaching her how to pray and helping her fight sexual temptation.
Precious Jesus
She said that while her attractions to women haven’t disappeared since becoming a Christian, she is choosing to put Christ first in her life.
She said, “it would definitely be tragic to give up something that valuable for something that is less valuable. And it would also be tragic to pretend like this real part of my life, my sexuality, is less than it is.
“But Jesus is more precious than even that very deep part of me, because of his great love.”
She said that while her attractions to women haven’t disappeared since becoming a Christian, she is choosing to put Christ first in her life.The Christian Institute, on Rachel Gilson
‘Worth it’
She concluded: “The reason that most people aren’t Christians is either because they think that Jesus isn’t really real or that he isn’t really worth it. But Jesus is both — really real and really worth it.”
“I gave up some major things and some significant sexual relationships — but God has heaped upon me beautiful and good things in their place.”
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