Tag: Woman

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Singles Matter Too

Ina is a single older woman, who felt she didn’t belong in her church, as if she didn’t matter even to God. One day after a spiritual gift assessment, people with gifts of compassion and kindness noticed her. Caring people surrounded her with God’s love, helping her to experience community. Now her gifts are being used, her feedback is listened to, and people make time to listen and fellowship with her. Praise God she is now a vital member of her church community, and people look forward to seeing her every weekend at the exit, where she hands out sweets to children. Ina matters to God even though she is single. Every one of us needs to know that.

Today, single or married, we matter so much to God that he sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to give of himself so that we can show his love to others. He came to give us gifts of service, kindness, and leadership so that we may be built up and reach unity in the faith, growing and maturing in Christ. As the apostle Paul puts it, all who believe in Jesus make up the body of Christ here on earth, and he is our head. In His strength, the body grows and builds itself up in love. You matter to God and you matter to the people around you. Your gifts, abilities, and presence make a difference to your community, and they make a difference to God!

From [Christ] the whole body . . . builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. (Ephesians 4:16).

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank you for loving me and growing me to be a part of your body. Father, thank you for putting people around me who show that I matter. Amen.

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Don’t Sweep It Under The Rug

Do you remember the popular song with a catchy tune called “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”? It’s bright melody and simple message could almost convince you that by brushing all your worries under a rug and forcing a smile, you could fill yourself with happiness. But true happiness doesn’t work like that. Instead, it is bundled up with gratitude.

Gratitude depends not on ignoring what’s going on in our lives, but in choosing to see and accept the deepest reality about our existence. Jesus’ encounter with the woman “who lived a sinful life”, demonstrates this beautifully. You see, the Pharisees had swept all their sins under the rug of self-righteousness and self-sufficiency. They chose to ignore the truth of their brokenness and his deep need for forgiveness. Their ingratitude produced a toxic bitterness that caused them to completely miss the fact that the Saviour of the world, and their souls, was standing right in front of them.

Today, this sinful sex worker who anointed Jesus didn’t miss her Saviour. There could be no sweeping of sins under the rug for her. Everyone seemed to know about them anyway. So, in acknowledgement of her brokenness and receiving the forgiveness Jesus offers, her heart and her hands poured out her gratitude. What’s under your rug? What’s under mine? Let’s bring it out, acknowledge it, and accept the forgiveness that only Jesus offers.

I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little. (Luke 7:47).

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, today I overflow with gratitude for your forgiveness of all my sins. In Jesus name, Amen.

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A Beautiful Thing 

The woman’s act of anointing Jesus with expensive perfume, was such an important gesture. Jesus called what she did “a beautiful thing” because it flowed from the love in her heart. She came to Jesus unexpectedly and poured perfume on his head. 

Scripture suggests her deed was also beautiful, because it was costly. The perfume was soo expensive. She could have purchased much with the money it was worth. Thus, the fact that her action was sacrificial, made it beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. 

Today, as we contemplate the woman with the alabaster box of expensive perfume, Jesus saw that the woman had seized a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to anoint his body for burial, according to their custom. Her act was also beautiful because of her deep devotion. The disciples criticized the woman for wasting valuable ointment, but Jesus saw that she acted out of love and gratitude to him. 

Today, why not ask God for opportunities you can use to do beautiful things of gratitude for your saviour.

“Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me.” (Matthew 26:10).

Let’s Pray 

Yahweh, in response to your love for me, I want to grow in love and gratitude to you. Father, help me fill my life with beautiful deeds that honour you. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen. 

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He Gives You Space 

Newer translations of the Bible include a footnote with this story, saying that it is not found in the earliest manuscripts. I hope this “messiness” of the Bible does not trouble you. It shouldn’t. Rather, we can recognize that the perfect Word of God entered a messy world and picked up some scars, yet still tells us plainly that while no one is perfect, Jesus gives us space. 

In scripture, Jesus gave space for this crowd to go home shame-faced. They expected to jeer and throw stones at a “fallen woman”. He challenged them to investigate their own hearts to see if they were sinless before throwing the first stone. Then he drew in the sand while they all slinked away, now seeing their faults a little more clearly. 

Jesus gave space to the woman too. The officials dragged her before him to test his ability to judge, not realising that he would one day be the Judge over all. Jesus does not rush to judge this woman. He does not condone her actions but gives her space to change: “Go now and leave your life of sin”…  

Today, just like the woman caught in adultery, Jesus gives us space to realize that sin does not have us trapped. We can, by his grace and Spirit, leave our sins behind. There is some space as this new year begins. To reflect on our sinful life and decide to get closer to Christ. Is this not a great idea for 2024? 

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11). 

Let’s Pray 

Yahweh, as I reflect on the past year and move to the new year, help me leave my old sins behind and the guilt that goes with them. Thank you for your mercy. In Jesus’s name, Amen. 

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The Dangers Of Sexual Sin

“I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare.”  (Ecclesiastes 7:26 NIV) Solomon most likely wrote the above verse from Ecclesiastes in his later years. Who better to write about the enslaving nature of sexual sin than the man who had hundreds of wives and concubines? The scripture tells us that Solomon’s love for foreign women eventually led to his plunge into idolatry. Chasing sex, he allowed these women to lead his heart astray: “his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God” (1 Kings 11:4 NIV).


In the verse above, the woman can be used metaphorically as sexual sin in general. As in the first few chapters of Proverbs, Solomon here also warns people to steer clear of sexual sin. Those who do not will be ensnared by it. Regardless of gender, sexual sin can enslave people when they give it an opportunity to do so. It is the type of slave master who does not release its victims once they are ensnared. It seeks to consume every area of the slave’s life.

Today, remember, God created us to have dominion over the earth and to subdue it. At the fall of Adam and Eve, the devil usurped man’s dominion and was given the power of death. When Jesus died and rose from the dead, he took dominion away from the devil. And now those who believe in Jesus rightfully inherit that dominion over the earth, the forces of evil and sin. Paul explained in Romans that we are not to allow sin to reign in our bodies. We have dominion over sin and have the freedom to use our bodies to please God.


…so use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.” Romans 6:13-14 (NLT)

Let’s Pray
Yahweh, thank You for dying in my place on the cross and rising from the dead. Father, thank You for winning back dominion for us over evil, sin and death. God, help those of us that struggle with sexual sin, we confess all our sins to You and repent asking for Your total forgiveness, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

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Forgiveness – A Heaven or Hell Issue

heaven or hell

Bitterness is a poison that can destroy you, and it never destroys the person it’s aimed at. A way to get through bitterness is to forgive. In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others.

Dr. Les Carter says, “I recall one woman who came to me ten years after her divorce. She was talking about her son’s marriage and her daughter’s graduation. Her ex was going to be at both. She had never resolved the fact that he had rejected her. She kept going over it in her mind, ‘How could he have done this to me? Can’t he see that he just ripped apart a family?’ Her children would say, ‘Mom, we know the facts. We know he did it. We can’t go back and rewrite history.’ She would always come back with those infamous words, ‘Yes, but . . .'”

That is a woman who is so stuck in the past, it’s as if she is willing to hold on to that divorce, to hold on to that anger, as being the defining element in her personality.

Today, if you do not forgive the person who has hurt you, you are making it impossible to receive God’s forgiveness for you. You do not want to cut yourself off from God’s forgiveness. You need that forgiveness for your own freedom and healing, and to release God’s power in your life.


“…If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part” (Matthew 6:14-15 Msg).

Let’s Pray
Yahweh, I do not want unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment to define my personality and to make me miss out on the kingdom. Father, with Your help, I can be free from this. God, lead me through every thought and every decision and cleanse my mind, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

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Don’t Speak Negativity Into Your Future

You Have the Victory, So Why Are You Walking Around Defeated?

Do you know that your negative or positive future can be determined by how you see the present? In the Old Testament, there was an Israelite woman who was about to give birth. She had just heard that the Ark of the Covenant which housed God’s presence had been stolen. She was so upset about it that she named her baby boy Ichabod, which means “the glory has departed.”  

Notice what this woman did; she named her future by what was happening in her present. She could have just as easily named him “the glory will return,” but she was so focused on the negative, so caught up in where she was at that moment, that she defined her future by it. Don’t ever name your future by your present-day circumstances. You may have had some hard times in the past, but get that “Ichabod” spirit off of you.  

Today, it may look like you’re stuck in a rut, and you don’t really see how you could ever rise any higher, but don’t speak defeat over your life. Instead, name your future: blessed, prosperous, successful, victorious, healthy, whole, strong, talented, creative, wise. Declare what God’s Word says, so that you can move forward in the destiny He has prepared for you! 

“You will also declare a thing, and it will be established…” (Job 22:28, NKJV) 

Let’s Pray

Yahweh, thank You for the blessed future that You have prepared for me. Father, today I choose to come into agreement with Your Word, and speak Your blessing over my life. God, keep me close to You and show me Your ways, in Christ’s Name! Amen.  

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5 tweets that help you help others on International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

5 tweets that help you help others on International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

“Sexual violence against women and girls is rooted in centuries of male domination. Let us not forget that the gender inequalities that fuel rape culture are essentially a question of power imbalances.”

UN Secretary-General António Guterres

The United Nations General Assembly has designated November 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (Resolution 54/134). The premise of the day is to raise awareness of the fact that women around the world are subject to rape, domestic violence and other forms of violence; furthermore, one of the aims of the day is to highlight that the scale and true nature of the issue is often hidden. For 2014, the official Theme framed by the UN Secretary-General’s campaign UNiTE to End Violence against Women, is Orange your Neighbourhood. For 2018, the official theme is “Orange the World:#HearMeToo” .

This year’s theme is “Orange the World: Generation Equality Stands Against Rape.” For the next two years, a campaign from the U.N. Secretary General will focus specifically on rape in its efforts to prevent and eliminate violence against women and girls. 

According to U.N. figures, one in three women and girls experience some form of physical or sexual violence in their lives. The U.N. estimates that approximately 15 million adolescent girls have experienced forced sex during their lifetimes. Based on its data from 30 countries, only 1 percent of these girls ever looked for professional help. 

“Too many of us fail to name or challenge the rape culture that surrounds us,” U.N. Women said in an statement about this year’s theme.  

U.N. Women encourages people to get directly involved in preventing sexual violence by learning about rape culture, listening to survivors, and talking about consent. 

For this year’s International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, here are some tweets that show you how to do exactly that. 

1. Stand up

https://twitter.com/WFP/status/1198952338939101184

2. Know the definition of consent as there is no excuse for sexual violence

https://twitter.com/UN_Women/status/1198928076966641664?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1198928076966641664&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmashable.com%2Farticle%2Fviolence-against-women-2019-united-nations%2F

3. Support survivors

https://twitter.com/europeaid/status/1198856273565044736

4. To feel safe, women and girls have to look at everyday objects differently. Understand the burden women carry to avoid violence

 

https://twitter.com/UN_Women/status/1198897874626646017

5. Stop victim-blaming and body-shaming. What women choose to wear or not wear is not consent for sexual harassment, violence, bullying, body-shaming or victim-blaming.

https://twitter.com/UNDP/status/1198904157954031616
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Real Talk: Postcode gangs

The notion of so-called postcode wars may have slipped from the headlines recently but the territorial divisions continue to exert a powerful influence on the lives of thousands of young Londoners. 

This lady gives her thoughts on Knife Crime in the UK. We salute this woman for speaking out! The passion in her voice is intense.

Guns, Gangs and Postcode Wars 

The youth culture seems to be falling apart at the moment. We’ve seen a real sea change over the past few years, with a significant increase in the number of people who have been injured, in the number of injuries sustained per person, and the severity of those injuries.

The more deprived the area, the more they try to assert control over the one thing they can lay claim to: the streets. Concepts such as hood passes and stripes may seem alien to anyone over 21 but are considered normal by an entire generation. 

Politicians need to get their act together and pour money into this right now. Tomorrow is too late. Parents also need to take responsibility.

Gang-related organised crime in the United Kingdom is concentrated around the cities of London, Manchester and Liverpool and regionally across the West Midlands region, south coast and northern England, according to the Serious Organised Crime Agency. With regards to street gangs the cities identified as having the most serious gang problems, which also accounted for 65% of firearm homicides in England and Wales, were London, Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool. Glasgow in Scotland also has a historical gang culture with the city having as many teenage gangs as London, which had six times the population, in 2008.

In the early part of the 20th century, the cities of Leeds, Bristol, Bradford (including Keighley) and Nottingham all commanded headlines pertaining to street gangs and suffered their share of high-profile firearms murders. Sheffield, which has a long history of gangs traced back to the 1920s in the book “The Sheffield Gang Wars”, along with Leicester is one of numerous urban centres seen to have an emerging or re-emerging gang problem.

On 28 November 2007, a major offensive against gun crime by gangs in Birmingham, Liverpool, London and Manchester led to 118 arrests. More than 1,000 police officers were involved in the raids. Not all of the 118 arrests were gun related; others were linked to drugs, prostitution and other crimes. Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said it showed the police could “fight back against gangs”.

THE WORDS ON OUR STREETS
Irrespective of who uses it and for what purpose, street slang is constantly evolving. Words in common parlance five years ago like “buff” (good-looking) are now deemed antediluvian, replaced by newer terms such as “chug”, “peak” and “wavey”. “Skadoosh”, a personal favourite, is a relative newcomer. 

Bang – punch
Bare – a lot
Bate – obvious
Blud – friend
Booky – suspicious
Butters – ugly
Chug – good-looking
Dutty – nasty
Fam – friends
Gallis – womaniser
Gased – talking nonsense
Gem – fool
Ghost – to be frequently absent
Greezy – bad
Junge – whore
Liccle – small
Marga – extremely skinny
Moist – no ratings, silly, naff
Murk – attack
Nang – good
Peak – used to highlight an eventful situation
Peng – good-looking
Shank – stab
Shower – cool, good
Skadoosh – goodbye
Skettel – loose woman
Slipping – to be caught off-guard
Swag – crap
Tekkers – technique
Wallad – idiot
Wavey – high or drunk

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“It’s not GAY to straight. It’s lost to saved.” One lesbian’s Journey to Salvation

At 15 years old, Emily Thomes began dating a girl for the first time. Word began to spread, and she started getting questions from friends.”Are you and her gay together?” they would ask. 

Emily knew that she could either cower away or own her homosexual lifestyle — so she decided she was going to own it.

Emily's testimony:

"I was 15 and I started dating a girl that lived down the street from me. It was my first time ever dating someone and being official. I was pretty pumped. I got a hickey. My dad saw it and was livid. I love her. It's a girl and I'm going to be with her. And this is how it is. It went terribly wrong."

"I said yes what about it. Love is not necessarily between a man and a woman. The problem was backwards thinking that":

Like many people in today’s culture, Emily clung to a watered-down version of the Gospel that said, “God being love meant God was nice and God was chill with what you were cool with.”

Emily said “If you were truly a Christian, you were on my side. If not, you were legalistic and needed to reread what God was really about. Judge not. God being love meant God was nice and and God was chill with what you were cool with. By 18, 19, 20 I was super wild and in serial relationships with women,” Emily explained of her past views."

"When I got to nursing school I met the girl that I ended up being engaged to. I kind of slowed down a little bit for her because she had two kids. And then at 22 I got invited to a Bible study."

Eventually, Emily became engaged to one of the women she dated. And then, at 22, was invited to a Bible study. “I expected them to bring up my lifestyle really early, and then (I) would use that as justification for not coming back, so I agreed to go.” As women shared their own testimonies, she started realizing she had nothing like that and it “bugged” her. “I could not stop thinking, ‘what if all of it is true?'” she said. 

Emily Googled verses on homosexuality and was directed towards a passage that would strike her to the core. It was 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10, which reads:

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Emily's testimony continued:

"It scared me really really bad. And then I read verse eleven"

Amazed by the fact that there were people who’d been equally as reckless as her in the past, but Jesus still washed them clean, Emily had a revelation. 

“I knew that God could do that for me too, and that I needed that. I could hold onto my sin and reject God, or I could turn to him. All the debt that I’d racked up living like I lived, didn’t have to be mine, if I could trust Him. So that was it. I knew what I wasn’t going to do, because it was right there it was black and white. I’d twisted those Scriptures before, I’d argued them down. I said judge not to them like that mattered. And then, that day, it was like my eyes were really opened. I was amazed at the grace He showed me.”

A very powerful testimony, and one that clearly articulates how we can witness to those who find themselves in the same lifestyle Emily was in. Watch & share below:

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Woman, You Are Enough

To Women: You Are Enough

Why is it so easy to believe the worst about ourselves? We so readily encourage other women, tell them that they are beautiful, intelligent, and special, but when it comes to ourselves, we find it challenging to do so. The problem is that we judge ourselves according to the ideals of the world and yet forget about the opinion of the only One who knows us best.

Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and scanned yourself? You look at your hair, your skin, your weight, your body shape, the features on your face- pretty much anything that you can compare to others. Many of us start the ‘if only’ conversation with ourselves, tearing down our confidence bit by bit. If only I was curvier and not so straight, if only I had a smaller nose, if only my eyes were a different colour, if only my skin were lighter, if only I was taller, and the list continues. Our comparisons do not end with our physical appearance but go into our character, intelligence, and how people perceive us. We might see someone else being praised for their kindness and helpfulness when you believe that you have done far more than that person, and you take it to heart. You might feel unappreciated, and slowly but surely you become bitter about it. It is human nature to wish to be recognised for the good that we do, and for our accomplishments, but when it does not happen, it angers and hurts us.

There is this self-love movement that has taken over the media, but it in some ways it does more harm than good. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself, but it should never be at the expense of your faith, your health, and your self-respect. There is a healthy balance to self-love, and it does not include thinking of yourself far more than you should (vanity), choosing to be unhealthy and not taking care of your body, and believing that all things are acceptable as long as you love yourself while doing it. Wearing figure-hugging clothing that shows off your body is not respecting yourself, especially when we know that modesty is a woman’s garment. We have to tune out what the world thinks and begin to focus on what GOD says.

The best way to combat negative thoughts about yourself is memorising what GOD’S Word says about you. However, I will stress that you cannot expect to overcome self-negativity without some mental work. Just as your negative self-opinion developed over time, so will it take time to see yourself as GOD intended. I will raise my hand and say that I can verbally and mentally beat myself down until I despair of ever being worthy enough. I can take it from ten to a hundred in a matter of minutes, especially when I have heard a negative comment from outside sources or feel that no one seems to care about what I say. The self-pity becomes rather cringe-worthy at this point. But isn’t it wonderful to know that GOD’S Word covers any and every bad thought we may have about ourselves? It is as though He is saying: you may think that about yourself, but this is what you must believe about yourself as My child. For example:

You: I can never be enough!

GOD: And ye are complete in Him, which is the head of all principality and power (Col 2:10)

You: No one truly loves me

GOD: But GOD, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us (Eph 2:4)

You: I am an idiot

GOD: But we have the mind of Christ (1 Cor 2:16)

You: I am just a nobody

GOD: But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvellous light (1 Pet 2:9)

You: I always just feel so scared about things

GOD: For GOD hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7)

Do I need to go on? The Word of GOD is endless in countering every terrible thought that we can have about ourselves. But there is also the problem of self-image. We get so caught up on what we see and think we should be, but the Bible is clear about it:

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works (1 Tim 2:9-10)

All that extra stuff doesn’t matter, what matters are the good works that you do for the kingdom of GOD. You must take care of yourself because you are the temple of GOD, but it is not to take over what is truly important.

I tend to repeat a verse over and over to myself until it drowns out that ugly voice intent on bringing me down. The truth is that as women of GOD, we are all worthy because He has made us worthy. Not by our own works, but by what He has done. We don’t have to strive to achieve what we believe we should be, we can simply obey Him. Jesus does not want us to focus on ourselves, but on Him, because He knows that when left to our own devices, we tend to make a mess of things. Let’s choose to focus on His Word and live joyful lives, and leave our own opinions and the worlds at the door.

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Ladies, Hope for A Joseph-like Husband

Ladies, Hope for A Joseph-like Husband

Many Christian women speak about finding a husband like Boaz, which is fine as he had many good qualities. However, I have yet to come across a Christian woman that expresses the need to find a husband like Joseph, the most beloved of Jacob’s sons and a godly man.

Recently I attended my cousin’s wedding and as a result, I was bombarded with questions about when I was going to get married. One of my aunties even tried to drag me over to the dance floor to stand a chance of catching the bride’s bouquet. Thankfully I was firmly behind the serving table when I argued the fact that technically, I wasn’t all that single and that I wasn’t even on the ‘market’. I firmly believe that GOD has the right someone for everyone and that if you’re patient and faithful, He will reveal that person at the right time. How can we say that we give GOD control but still choose to actively hunt for a husband? Our time is best spent drawing closer to GOD and letting Him handle that important aspect of our lives.

Attending the wedding got me thinking about marriage and the kind of man that I would one day marry. Joseph is one of my favorite people from the Bible and he holds many characteristics of an ideal husband. While many women consider Boaz and even Jesus’ earthly father, Joseph, as men with good husband qualities, the Genesis Joseph appeals to me more. Here’s why:

  • First of all, the name Joseph means ‘GOD increases or adds to’ so that’s a good start right there!
  • Joseph was a principled man. He was an honest man of character and integrity. Look at the number of times that he was tempted. But did he give in? Nope. Not once. A godly man like Joseph would not cheat on his wife because he honors GOD above all else.
  • He was humble. This man had all the power and prestige as a man who was second to Pharoah in all things. However, he didn’t let this get to his head. He was always aware of the fact that it was GOD who had put him in that position. As a husband, there would be no gloating and feather primping.
  • He was disciplined. This man was sold into slavery by his own brothers and spent time in prison for a crime that he did not commit. However, he didn’t let any of this make him bitter and forsake his GOD. He disciplined himself to make the most of his situation and remained faithful to GOD, knowing that GOD would come through for him. He had a long-term vision- it wasn’t a case of here and now, but of what was to come by GOD’S hand.
  • Faithfulness. Not once did Joseph’s commitment to GOD waver. Not once. He remained faithful to Him at his lowest moment and at his highest moment. A husband that remains faithful to GOD despite his situation is a keeper:)
  • Grace. Out of pure jealousy, Joseph’s own brothers sold him into slavery. That’s a hard blow. But still, he chose to show grace and mercy to his brothers and forgave them. Such a godly characteristic is a must in a husband.
  • He was a competent man. This man did his best in all that he did. He was a man of excellence- he truly excelled in all of his jobs! Whether as a servant, an interpreter, a ruler or manager of his family’s flock, he did it all to the best of his abilities.
  • Joseph was a wise man. Did you know that he was 30 when he stepped in to help set up Egypt for the famine that was to come? It’s not like he went to business school or something, but he managed to see them through the famine. Without a doubt, it was GOD that blessed him with such wisdom.
  • He was also strategic. I love planning and will often plan for events many months in advance (my family finds that rather irritating!). Joseph was a planner. He successfully planned for the famine by instructing officials to gather up food and store it during the years of plenty.

Not all women will share my opinion about a Joseph-like husband, but when in doubt about someone that you’re considering or possibly even getting married to, base their characteristics on the verses from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 like so:

“Joseph is patient, Joseph is kind. He does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud. He does not dishonor others, he is not self-seeking, he is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs. Joseph does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

If you can honestly say that the man you are batting your eyelashes at embodies these values, then you have a godly man who is full of the Holy Spirit.

Now, it wouldn’t be right for me to talk about waiting for the right man without saying that you need to be a godly woman yourself. Often I receive compliments on my cooking skills and I’m told that because of it I’ll make a good wife, but a part of me always rebels against that. Sure enough, my future husband will be spoilt when it comes to food, but that cannot be the ruler that I’ll be measured against when it comes to being a good wife. The Bible has much to say about being a good wife, and that for me is a far better source. Scriptures speak about a noble wife who is worth more than rubies, a wife who her husband has full confidence in, and who brings him good. She is not a slanderer and is sober and faithful in all things. She loves her husband and children and she exercises self-control. She is pure and kind and is subject to her husband so that no one will malign the word of GOD. She respects her husband and loves him deeply, knowing that GOD has joined them together for His good purpose.

Whether you are a wife or a wife-to-be, put your name in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and see how you stack up. Of course, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but we must remember to honor our vows and faithfully remain at our husband’s side. It is not good for a man to be alone, and with a marriage of two people who put GOD first in everything, he never will be.

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6 Qualities of A Man Worth Waiting For

6 Qualities of A Man Worth Waiting For

Waiting for the right person to come by can be frustrating. Over a seemingly unending period of waiting time, one will tend to compromise. Please, refrain from doing that, do not ever settle. It’s better for you to be lonely now than be with someone who would not lead you closer to Jesus.

I’ve thought up of 6 signs that a man is worth waiting for. And while everyone has different criteria, I believe, with my whole heart, these 6 qualities you should never compromise. Here goes :

1. He puts Jesus before anything else.

Loves Jesus like crazy, reads the bible and lives by it, prays as if there is no tomorrow. This quality is an absolute must. Ladies, if you desire for a Joshua 24 : 15 kind of family, you would want someone who will lead you and your children to Jesus.

2. He treats his family well.

Does he honor his parents? (Exodus 12 : 10) Guide his siblings? How he acts as a son in his current family is probably how he’s going to act as a husband when he owns a family. Especially, look at how he treats his mom, that is probably how he is going to treat his future wife. Look for a man who treats his mom like a queen.

3. Love others crazily and selflessly puts others before himself.

A living embodiment of 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8 who lives out Mark 12 : 31. Sacrificially goes to any length to lovingly help out anyone.

4. Humble and has a teachable heart.

Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – 1 Peter 5 : 5

No one is perfect – no matter how godly a man is, he’s still imperfect and is bound to make mistakes. Look for a man who is humble enough to listen to you and is willing to be corrected and learn from his mistakes.

5. He controls his tongue.

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. – Proverbs 21 : 23

He has to be able to tame his tongue. Whatever comes out of his mouth should always be “such as is good for building up” (Ephesians 4 : 29). Don’t go for a man who hurts others with his mouth, even if he passes it as a joke (I’m heavily guilty of this). Blessing and cursing should never come from the same mouth (James 3 : 10). A man who can’t lead his own tongue will not be any better at leading a family.

6. He is goal oriented.

Go for someone who plans out things, has a goal in life and would work hard to reach that goal, or simply put, someone who leads himself well. You need someone who will be able to cast out God-given vision for his family and lead his family towards it and if he can’t lead himself, he won’t be able to do that.

Finding a man who meets all these ‘requirements’ is going to be really hard. I myself, am not even a close picture of this list. But it is better to set the bar high. Stay faithful, keep praying and shape yourself to be a woman worth finding.  The right guy will come along, trust me. I’m no Joshua Harris and I’m inexperienced in this area, but I really pray that this list will keep you from dating the wrong people. You’re a princess of the most high King, you deserve a prince.

And God has prepared just that.

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How Forgiveness Can Make You Love Again

How Forgiveness Can Make You Love Again

I’m bringing you on a personal journey: mine. I strongly believe we can all learn from one another and I hope by sharing this story, it will make you ask yourself some questions. This is the goal of making you rethink your current situation.

You see, like many of you, I come from a broken family. There was a lot of violence in my daily life. No child should ever grow up in that kind of dark atmosphere, but sadly a lot of them, do!

I am an only child and I learned very quickly what “hate” felt like.

My dad was a hard-working man who spent more than 80 hours a week at work while my mom stayed home with me. I realised pretty young that I wasn’t wanted and nothing would ever be good enough, no matter how hard I tried.

She beat me every single day. Put me in diapers and made me parade in front of the big window in the living room when friends would walk by. She would scream and swear, shout for everything and nothing at all. She would pick up the phone and act as if she was talking to the police, saying I had been a very bad girl, then made my suitcase and put me in front of the door. We were “waiting” for the police car to come and get me. I was going to jail. That’s what she told me many times and every single time, I was certain I was going to jail forever!

I spent many days in my teens wishing her dead! No, I wasn’t a Christian at that time and knew nothing about God. And the fact that my dad wasn’t present didn’t help at all. He was trying to escape the madness so he stayed at work as much as he could.   And when he came back, he drank himself into a coma accompanied by my mom.

That’s why I learned to drive at around 12 or 13 years old. I could drive them back at our house all the while my dad passed out in the back and mom sitting in front. At 16, I was already a very experienced driver!

Life eventually went on, and I moved out at around 20. I had a nice job and a decent apartment apart from the fact that the bathroom ceiling in the shower fell on my head! But that’s another story…

I was at least finally away from the beast! Through the years, she remained an angry and frustrated woman. But still, she could show some love on some occasions and it felt good when she did. Surprisingly, when I was sick, she was the best mom ever! But she went back to her old self as soon as I started to feel better.

Things changed and fast

In my forties, my dad got sick. The first time, I was on the road with my then boyfriend (we were driving tractor trailers in the United States), and my dad told me, over the phone, he had prostate cancer. I was in Las Vegas, very far from home.

After being operated on, dad beat cancer only to get some more bad news a few years later, that he had stage IV colon cancer. My dear father stayed strong during the battle. He fought so hard because he didn’t want to leave my mom behind. He knew she was very dependent on him. She didn’t even walk 20 feet outside to go get the newspaper. She knew nothing about paying bills, could not drive and was afraid of her shadow. Dad knew all that, and the more death’s door was knocking the more he became very angry and frustrated.

They eventually spoke frankly to one another and forgave each other. One morning dad asked mom to call the ambulance, he knew it was time for him to leave home. Mom could no longer take care of him.

She told me, it was the hardest thing she ever had to go through. They embraced each other very hard, dad was put on a stretcher and outside, he waved saying with all his strength, that he loved her very much. That was the last time they spoke. A few hours later, I went to the hospital and he could no longer recognize me or her.

My mom found herself all alone for the first time in her life! She fell into a deep depression and started to change. She went from a strong and very intimidating woman to a frail and very scared one.   Everything changed so fast. I didn’t have time to deal with my dad’s passing that my mom was transforming herself into someone I didn’t know.

Five years later, she was diagnosed with dementia and had to go to the hospital emergency because of liver cirrhosis. She stayed in the hospital almost 2 months and came very close to dying. Even the doctor thought it was a miracle she had not.

That’s where the story changes and you see the greatness of God. In 2011, I was a believer, so every time, I went to see mom, I would pray with her. Pray at home, in my car, everywhere and constantly. I asked God to please help me forgive her so I could have a few moments with her before he decided to come and get her.

I was able to have one year with my mom. One day, I spoke to her in her hospital bed and told her how I felt about her old self. She didn’t remember how she was, to the point that she was now a new woman. She spoke differently, she laughed always and was loved by everyone at the hospital. She was an extremely loving person.

After I was done talking to her, I promised her I would never abandon her. She asked for forgiveness and accepted my apologies. That day, we stood there in that hospital room hugging for hours. I was blessed enough to spend one year with that new mom. Even if she forgot things and could not remember where she lived or who my husband was, I didn’t care. I had been blessed by God in a big way, and I was able to have one full year with the loving woman. I know if I had not been keen on forgiving her, I would have missed the boat and would probably live with a lot of regrets.

The day she died, I was with her, alone in the room. The Holy Spirit told me to go to her quick. I took her hand, she squeezed it very hard, smiled and I stroke her hair, telling her how much I loved her. She let out 3 breaths and she was gone.

I drove one hour to go back home and I was crying all the way back. Not just because she was gone, rather for the privilege I had to be with her that last year.

The act of forgiveness had made it possible for me to love my mom again. Love her dearly and sincerely. Plus, it made it also possible to give her pure love, while she was on her way home.

Love waved goodbye, and love reached out to welcome her.

-Smile.

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Miscarriages: Do We Really Mourn With Those Who Mourn?

Unless you have lost a child, you can never really sympathize with a woman who has suffered a miscarriage. It is a different kind of pain that a parent carries with them on a daily basis until they are able to reach some sort of acceptance or peace about it. Or perhaps we want to believe that they have either accepted the loss or gained peace because we do not want to ‘deal’ with that person. I do not believe that we do it out of selfishness- the reason is more complicated than that. How do you co-mourn when you did not ever meet the child? How do you offer up empty words of comfort when you know that the parent will not want to hear them? Who wants to hear: “Don’t worry, it’s all in GOD’S hands”, or “You will have another one, just have faith”, or even “Pray and ask GOD for strength”.

It has been nearly 34 years since the death of my brother, and I know that my mother has never truly fully healed from that. Jonathan was her first child and she carried him to term, but when he was taken out of her womb, he was stillborn. He may not have been a miscarriage, but he was still a life that was taken away before he got the chance to live. However many months you have carried that child in your womb, that connection is there. Whether you wanted that baby or not, that connection remains. So when you lose that child, a part of you seems to die with that child. Yes, you continue on with your life- you return to work, you eventually have more children (in some cases) and you raise them with all the love that you can give. However, you are not going to forget about that lost child. Every now and then, you wonder about the child, what they could have become, what their personality would have been like, who they would have resembled more. You dream of what could have been and, in some way, you even blame yourself for their death.

A mother’s womb is meant to be a place of security, but instead of producing life, it became a place of death. Perhaps you feel that you have failed as a woman, a wife, and a mother. The emotions that you go through are deep and painful, far deeper than we can ever imagine. Your thoughts are a place of darkness and woe. What can we, as the outsiders, really say to bring comfort?

As Believers, we are meant to rejoice with those who rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn. The truth is, we have become so wrapped up in our own worlds that we struggle to find the words to say, or just how to be around a parent who has just suffered a miscarriage. Many of us feel uncomfortable and awkward- do we pat your back in an effort to offer some physical comfort without ‘overstepping’? Do we quote scripture in an effort to explain away the tragedy and possibly downplay the pain that you are going through? Should we bring ready-made meals to lessen your worries? The question is, do these actions and words show you that we are really mourning with you? Some people will pretend that it didn’t happen, others will avoid you like the plague, worried that you are going to break down in front of them and embarrass them in public (it’s true). Others simply cannot handle seeing that amount of pain in others and will run, while others are simply insensitive and will offer up the same old useless words.

What can we do? What should we say? Can we hug you and let you lean on us when you’re weak? Can we cry with you, for your baby, the little being that we did not get to meet? Can we sit with you and listen as you tell us of your pain, your anger, and possibly the guilt that you feel? Will you provide us with your child’s name so that we may acknowledge his/her individuality? Can we sit with you in your silence, offering our presence as comfort? When ‘sorry’ will just not do, what can we say? We could never profess to understand your pain, it would be an injustice to pretend as though that life didn’t exist, and it would be insensitive to assume that you can ever replace your lost child with another one.

To every parent that has miscarried: at times we outsiders find it difficult to express our sadness for your loss. I personally mourn for every child lost, whether through miscarriage, abortion or other causes. While I cannot understand your pain because I have not experienced such a tragedy, there are many of us who want to truly mourn with you, to offer the comfort that only a person who is close with our LORD can offer. We would gladly take on some of your burdens to give you a moment’s rest from your deep pain. I speak to both the mothers and fathers- find a brother or sister in Christ and share that burden with them. Let them take on that burden in spirit so that you may find rest and eventually open yourself up to receive the comfort that Jesus wants to give you. Woman of GOD, you have suffered through a miscarriage, but that burden that you carry is not yours alone.

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You Need to Stop Pointing That Finger

You Need to Stop Pointing That Finger

Is God a Republican or a Democrat? We, as Believers, can be the most judgemental people. We tend to hold onto the belief that, because we are Christians, we have a right to judge each other (and Unbelievers). If those who are being judged do not agree with us, then we most likely end up Bible-bashing them: “Well, GOD said in chapter _ verse _ that you can’t do_, so you’re committing a sin! And it’s wrong! You’re probably going to hell for that you know.” Does this sound familiar to you? Perhaps you do not use those exact words, but it all boils down to the same thing, and that’s judging others when you do not have the right to do so.

Let’s delve into GOD’S Word, shall we? If we continue on from Matthew 7:1-5 and read verses 3-5, we see that Jesus did not mince His words when it came to the subject of judging. He even used the word hypocrite to describe the person that was intent on taking the speck out of his brother’s eye when in fact, he had a whole plank in his own eye. Think of it in this way: Jim has been accusing Alex of sexual immorality. Apparently, Alex has been sleeping with his girlfriend, Stacey. As Christians, this will not do- obviously. However, it turns out that Jim (who has been doing the finger pointing with great conviction) has been lustfully looking at a young lady from church. Tsk tsk, Jim. Now, what did Jesus say about that?

“But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt 5:28).

Paul was an Apostle who knew just what to say about those of us who love to judge: And do you think, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of GOD? (Rom 2:3). No matter how much you try and justify yourself, GOD is still going to judge you. What you need to understand is that if GOD Himself did not send His Son to condemn us (John 3:17), why on earth are we doing it (did you see what I did there- on earth because we live on earth! Ha!)? So the question that you probably have now is: how do we tell/show the person that what they are doing is wrong? That they are disobeying GOD? It’s simple really. If you are not like Jim, meaning that you yourself are not living in sin, then you can proceed to Galatians 6:1: Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” Paul says that you need to be spiritual, and the only way to be spiritual is to immerse yourself in GOD’S Word daily. Study His Word and by faith, apply it to your life. He also says that you are to be gentle with that person- which, by the way, is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. You cannot be gentle if you do not have love, and if you do not understand what love is (which is more of an action and not just a feeling), then study 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. Lastly, you had better watch yourself- you wouldn’t want to be helping that person, only to fall into the same temptation. Always pray before you do anything- it will save you a lot of drama.

Okay, so we have covered nearly all aspects of judging within the church (by church, I do not mean a building but the body of Christ- all of us who profess Jesus as the Son of GOD), but there is one last aspect to consider. What did Paul mean in 1 Corinthians 5:11? But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner- not even to eat with such a person. This sounds like Paul is being quite judgemental, doesn’t it? Now we know that the Bible does not contradict Itself (contrary to popular belief- that’s another topic!), so what could Paul mean? Let’s go back a few pages and take a look at Romans 16:17-18: Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple.” Remember, bad company can corrupt good character (1 Corinthians 15:33). These people, who profess to be Christian and yet go against the Word of GOD, you must understand that they cannot be who they say they are. According to Luke 6:43-45, a tree is known by its fruit. Therefore as Christians, we are to produce fruits of the Holy Spirit. Those who are of the devil (whether by choice or ‘default’), will produce evil fruit in accordance with the deeds of the devil. My advice to you? Just walk away- do not concern yourself with their way of living- GOD will sort it out. Pray for them yes, but do not, I repeat, do not get involved with them in any way. We need to realize that GOD’S Word is absolute- if we are told not to do something, then we must not do it. If you are happy with taking GOD’S Word as is, great. However, there are some that want to know why. If you want to know why we cannot do a certain thing, then you better start reading and studying the Bible to find out, and if you cannot find it, then just ask GOD- but you better believe that He will do it, or else you’re being rather double-minded (James 1:5-8).

What about judging non-Believers? One piece of scripture will clear that up in a jiff: For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside?

Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside GOD judges” (1 Cor 5:12-13). Pretty straightforward isn’t it? We, as Christians, have no right to judge a non-Believer. We know that GOD is more than capable of doing that so put it out of your minds. Your duties are to obey and love GOD, study His Word, pray without ceasing, live by faith and not by sight, and love one another. Don’t forget about going out to spread the Gospel, whether within your own community or jumping across the sea to reach those who are lost.

Ending Thoughts: Do not speak evil of one another, brethren (James 4:11). If you have nothing good to say, then do not say it at all.

 

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