Can I Recover from Alcohol Addiction Detached from God?

In 1998, my family organized an intervention to encourage me to seek help for my alcohol dependence.

I was shocked to know that all of them thought I needed help to stop drinking. The first question I blurted out after hearing them talk was: “Am I an alcoholic?”

It was an honest question because all the while I thought I just loved to drink to relieve stress, but not to the point that I was addicted. Apparently, most alcoholics do not recognize the problem themselves.

Long story short, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous and it completely changed my life.

Finding God in My Recovery

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is famous for its Twelve Steps which is the backbone of the fellowship. As a Christian who believes in God, albeit one who lost her way, these steps spoke to me because they stress the importance of relying on God as key to recovery.

Below are the specific six AA steps that helped me rediscover God, and in the process led me to discover the path to healing.

Step 2: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

Before joining AA, I tried several times to stop drinking. I told myself that it is just a matter of willpower, which is why I was in despair every time I failed. I hated myself for not being able to quit.

The second step of AA made me realize that I cannot quit without divine intervention. I had dug a hole so deep that I needed God’s help more than anything. As John 15:5 says, “… apart from me, you can do nothing.”

As I struggled with alcoholism, I learned to acknowledge my limitations. I was educated, well-off, and popular, yet I still was lured into the trap of alcohol dependence. How could I trust myself or other human beings as imperfect as me to restore my sobriety? Only an all-powerful and all-knowing God could make this happen.

Step 3: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

I went through a long process of denial, anger, and hopelessness before I finally admitted to myself that it is time to surrender my addiction and my whole life to God’s care once again. It dawned on me that steps 2 and 3 are actually related. If I accept God’s sovereign power then it makes perfect sense to yield myself completely to Him, right?

I soon admitted all my faults and weaknesses and acknowledged His power to turn my life around. The moment I surrendered every aspect of my life to God, it felt like a heavy load had been lifted off me.

I experienced Psalm 46:10, firsthand, “Be still and know that I am God.” It was a peace I hadn’t felt before.

Step 5: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

There’s a saying in AA that, “We are only as sick as our secrets,” and I found it to be true. The more I kept to myself, the more the guilt, fear, and shame ate me up.

Admitting our faults to God in prayer is different from telling another person of all our wrongdoings. When we only confess to God, we can still go on walking like we were high and mighty even if we are rotting inside.

It was a lesson in humility. This step was probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But I felt liberated after doing it. I believed that God also used this time to chip at my ego and pride.

Step 6 & 7: “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character” and “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

I started my prayer journal during this time. I lifted up in prayer all the destructive things I had done because of my addiction and the sins I had committed. I wrote them down in detail and asked God to give me the grace to overcome each one of them.

This process gave me the chance to be sensitive to God’s moving in my life. I made it a point to record how God helped me, little by little, in overcoming my defects. Today, I still have my prayer journal to chronicle how God is helping me to persist in growing in virtue.

Step 11: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

Personally, this step is essential for the happiness and satisfaction of everyone, not just recovering alcoholics like me. Thanks to my recovery journey, I learned the power of prayer. Praying not to ask for favors but solely to ask God what He wants me to do and, more importantly, to listen to His prodding.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” For many years, I had tried living my life my way and it brought me to despair. Now I know that the One who created me should be in charge because He alone knows my purpose in life and how I can fulfill it.

Is Recovery Possible While Excluding God?

There are many studies that support the effectiveness of AA’s treatment approach. As the years go by, however, and as the world becomes more secularized, many non-believers are finding the “God part” in AA uncomfortable. As a result, there are alcoholic support groups now that pledge to offer the benefits of AA, minus the spiritual content of AA.

I find this odd. I have met countless alcoholics who were able to stop their alcohol dependency precisely because they relied on God’s healing power. Note that most of these people also tried “scientific” treatments and entered secular rehabs to no effect.

God is the missing key to successful and long-term recovery. How can one be healed without the ultimate Healer?

People who allegedly believe in science rather than “fairy tales” (God) would argue that the effectiveness of AA is due to non-religious factors: meetings, helping one another, etc. My response would be how can they be certain that it is not because of God’s power?

The original AA approach has been effective all over the world because of the God-factor. I am a living testament and so are many of my fellow recovering alcoholics. No study can “measure” God because if He is measurable then He is not God.

All good things come from God because HE is goodness Himself. Recovery from addiction is essentially good. How can it be possible to achieve this good without tapping into the source of goodness?

When one excludes God from the recovery journey, what’s the point? Without anchoring ourselves to our Creator, who shows us the real purpose of our lives, everything becomes meaningless.

I am grateful for the spiritual aspect of AA because it not only helped in my recovery but it also made me a better person. Paradoxically, I discovered that the more I surrendered my will and entire being to God Almighty, the more I had the strength to overcome my addiction. Indeed, His “grace is sufficient for us, for His power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

30 facts about alcohol

The “alcohol” in alcoholic beverages such as wine, beer, and spirits is actually ethanol, or ethyl alcohol. It’s the only type of alcohol that you can drink without causing serious damage to your body.
Alcohol is a depressant. This means that it slows down activity in the brain.
According to the 2015 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), 86.4 percent of adults reported having drank alcohol at some point in their lifetime.
The NSDUH also found that 70.1 percent of American adults had had a drink in the previous year, and 56.0 percent had had one in the previous month.
Alcohol has a wide variety of effects. In the brain, it triggers the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that’s associated with pleasure and satisfaction.
Stress relief is another side effect of drinking alcohol. This is caused by an increase in the uptake of another neurotransmitter, called GABA.
Alcohol is among the most commonly misused addictive substances. About 12.7 percentTrusted Sourceof American adults meet the criteria for alcohol use disorder (AUD). That’s 1 in 8 adults.
According to a 2015 study, light-eyed Americans of European descent consume more alcohol than dark-eyed Americans of European descent.
The same study found that blue-eyed Americans of European descent had the highest levels of alcohol misuse, suggesting a genetic link that makes them more susceptible to AUD.
Alcohol is processed in the liver, where enzymes help break down ethanol into acetaldehyde and acetate.
The effects associated with drinking occur when ethanol enters your bloodstream and passes through the membranes of cells in your brain, heart, and other organs.
ResearchTrusted Source suggests that rates of alcohol use and high-risk use increased between 2001 and 2013.
AUD has a genetic component. Researchers estimate that genes account for approximately half of the risk.
Men are more likely to use alcohol than women.
Alcohol has different health consequences for men and women. Long-term drinking is more likelyTrusted Source to have negative health effects for women compared to men, even if the woman drinks less for a shorter period of time.
Women who are dependent on alcohol are 50 to 100 percent more likely to die from alcohol-related causes than men who are dependent on alcohol.
Alcohol-attributable deaths are the third-leading preventable cause of death in America. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 88,424 people die from alcohol-related causes each year in the United States.
Alcohol may be nearly as old as civilization. Residues from an alcoholic beverage that dates back to 7,000 to 6,600 B.C. have been found in China.
Archaeologists have also found evidence suggesting that the workers who built the Great Pyramids of Giza were paid in beer.
Binge drinking is a pattern of alcohol consumption that involves drinking a lot in a short period of time. For women, four or moreTrusted Source drinks in two hours is considered binge drinking. For men, it’s five or more drinks in two hours.
Teens who start drinking before the age of 15 are more likely to develop alcohol dependence later on in life.
Symptoms of acute alcohol withdrawal syndrome (AWS) include hallucinations, seizures, and, in severe cases, even death. People who are dependent on alcohol should seek medical assistance to stop drinking.
Culture has a significant influence on how people consume alcohol. A study that explored family drinking in Italy found that Italians who drank at family meals while growing up were less likely to develop unhealthy drinking habits later on in life.
Alcohol use is a significant risk factor for dementia.
Drinking red wine in moderation is believed to be good for the heart. Red wine contains resveratrol, a substance which helps control cholesterol, prevent blood vessel damage, and stop blood clots.
Binge drinking can lead to a hangover the following morning. Hangovers are caused by chemical byproducts created during alcohol processing.
Hormonal changes lead to unpleasant hangover symptoms. For instance, hormonal changes cause you to urinate more, which can lead to dehydration.
Dark liquors, such as red wine or whiskey, are more likely to result in severe hangovers. White or clear liquors are less likely to result in a hangover.
Around the world, minimum legal drinking ages range from 10 to 21 years.
Muscles absorb alcohol faster than fat. As a result, people who have more muscles and less body fat have higher alcohol tolerance.

June 24, 2019January 15, 2024

Mum Shocked After One Twin is Born with Albinism: Real Life Story

Albinism is the “congenital absence of any pigmentation or coloration in a person, animal or plant, resulting in white hair, feathers, scales and skin and pink eyes in mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians and fish and other small invertebrates as well.”Varied use and interpretation of the terms mean that written reports of albinistic animals can be difficult to verify.

For ages, Judith had a feeling that she would struggle to become pregnant. There wasn’t a medical explanation for this — it was simply a niggling fear.

She and her husband struggled to believe they would ever become parents after years went by without her becoming pregnant. “I found myself getting anxious and desperate,” Judith first wrote on Love What Matters.

“The fear remained no matter how hard I tried to stay positive. However, Eight years down the line, my husband and I decided to go for our second round of IVF. The first of which failed, as well as other various procedures and fertility treatments. Every ultrasound visit after that was horror”
Judith

The couple could hardly contain their joy when that second round of IVF proved successful.

Judith was carrying twins — a boy, Kamis, and a girl, Kachi.

It felt remarkable that after all these years, their aspirations and dreams of a family were about to be real.

However, mum’s joy quickly turned to horror as doctors broke the news that Kachi was “at risk and might not make it”. “Every ultrasound visit after that was a nightmare as Kachi was far behind in growth whiles Kamsi did great.

“Finally, at 37 weeks, I had to be induced immediately because I was told that Kachi had stopped growing..” After the birth Nurses let Judith hold her daughter briefly before she was whisked to the NICU.

“The first time I saw her, I wondered if the nurse was handing me my baby, or someone else’s,” Judith said. “I waited a few seconds for someone to tell me there was a mix-up?” “Soon the joy of seeing them both healthy surpassed any other feeling at that instant.”
“How did I get black and white twins?”

Several days later Judith and her husband were told that their baby girl had albinism.

“I loved my princess like every mother would love her baby but worried about her condition,” Judith said.
“I worried about her future, how society would treat her, how she’ll be accepted.
“Gradually, worry turned to sadness and I started questioning “I envied other black babies and thought, ‘Why me? Why was I the one to have an albino baby?’
“How did I get black and white twins?”
“I threw the braille sheets in the garbage”

Unfortunately, medical professionals were quick to affirm Judith’s worst fears and told her that Kachi would struggle to see and would likely need to learn to read braille.

“I couldn’t imagine Kachi reading with braille and threw the braille sheets in the garbage.” She said

“She’s so smart and has a strong personality. She knows what she wants and will always go for it.
“I always tell her how beautiful she is, because she really is.
“I’m not sure she`s aware of her uniqueness at the moment, but eventually she’ll know.”
“It’s my responsibility to educate her and teach her to love herself no matter what.

Albinism

Albinism affects the production of melanin, the pigment that colours skin, hair and eyes. It’s a lifelong condition, but it doesn’t get worse over time.

People with albinism have a reduced amount of melanin, or no melanin at all. This can affect their colouring and their eyesight.

Albinism is caused by faulty genes that a child inherits from their parents.

Symptoms of albinism

Hair and skin colour

People with albinism often have white or very light blonde hair, although some have brown or ginger hair. The exact colour depends on how much melanin their body produces.

Very pale skin that burns easily in the sun and doesn’t usually tan is also typical of albinism.

Eye colour

Someone with albinism can have pale blue, grey or brown eyes. Eye colour depends on the type of albinism and the amount of melanin. People from ethnic groups with darker pigmentation tend to have darker coloured eyes.

Eye problems

The reduced amount of melanin can also cause other eye problems. This is because melanin is involved in the development of the retina, the thin layer of cells at the back of the eye.

Possible eye problems linked to albinism include:

poor eyesight — either short-sightedness or long-sightedness, and low vision (sight loss that can’t be corrected)
astigmatism — where the cornea (clear layer at the front of the eye) isn’t perfectly curved or the lens is an abnormal shape, causing blurred vision
photophobia — where the eyes are sensitive to light
nystagmus — where the eyes move involuntarily from side to side, causing reduced vision; you don’t see the world as “wobbling” because your brain adapts to your eye movement
squint — where the eyes point in different directions

Some young children with albinism may appear clumsy because problems with their eyesight can make it difficult for them to perform certain movements, such as picking up an object. This should improve as they get older.

How albinism is inherited

The two main types of albinism are:

oculocutaneous albinism (OCA) — the most common type, affecting the skin, hair and eyes
ocular albinism (OA) — a rarer type that mainly affects the eyes

Autosomal recessive inheritance

In most cases, including all types of OCA and some types of OA, albinism is passed on in an autosomal recessive inheritance pattern. This means a child has to inherit two copies of the faulty gene (one from each parent) to have the condition.

If both parents carry the gene, there’s a 1 in 4 chance that their child will have albinism and a 1 in 2 chance that their child will be a carrier. Carriers don’t have albinism but can pass on the faulty gene.

X-linked inheritance

Some types of OA are passed on in an X-linked inheritance pattern. This pattern affects boys and girls differently: girls who inherit the faulty gene become carriers and boys who inherit the faulty gene will get albinism.

When a mother is a carrier of an X-linked type of albinism, each of her daughters has a 1 in 2 chance of becoming a carrier and each of her sons has a 1 in 2 chance of having albinism.

When a father has an X-linked type of albinism, his daughters will become carriers, and his sons won’t have albinism and won’t be carriers.

Read more about how mutations are passed on.

Genetic counselling

If you have a history of albinism in your family or you have a child with the condition, you may want to talk to your GP about getting a referral for genetic counselling.

A genetic counsellor provides information, support and advice about genetic conditions. For example, you can discuss with them how you inherited albinism and the chances of passing it on.

Read more about genetic testing and counselling.

Diagnosing albinism

Albinism is usually obvious from a baby’s appearance when they’re born. Your baby’s hair, skin and eyes may be examined to look for signs of missing pigment.

As albinism can cause a number of eye problems, your baby may be referred to an eye specialist (ophthalmologist) for tests to check for conditions such as nystagmus, squint and astigmatism.

Electrodiagnostic testing is also sometimes used to help diagnose albinism. This is where small electrodes are stuck to the scalp to test the connections of the eyes to the part of the brain that controls vision.

January 12, 2017July 1, 2022

BPS World Research Highlights Challenges Facing Employers in 2017 Following Brexit

Global resourcing specialist BPS World has warned that one of the main challenges facing employers in the UK in 2017 will be the impact of Brexit on the ability to attract talent, particularly in the high-value digital, technical and engineering industries where recruiters are already struggling with severe skills shortages. This follows the publication by BPS World, of: “Brexit: What the World is Saying” which, for the first time, researched the global impact of Brexit and how other countries believe it will impact on skills.

Simon Conington, Founder of BPS World, has urged the government to ensure that the UK continues to have access to skilled professional from Europe, particularly in the sectors where there are already skills shortages, or face a sharp decline in the UK’s ability to compete.

Although the UK will not be leaving the EU until 2019 we can expect an announcement this year on the shape of Brexit and what it will mean in practice. Under so-called ‘hard-Brexit’ freedom of movement would be restricted and it would be as difficult for talent to be recruited from France as from the US. It is this that alarms those at the sharp end of skills shortages, such as BPS World. Recruits themselves are already showing signs of being aware of these new competitive forces: research revealed that almost half (48 per cent) of UK jobseekers were more concerned about finding a job than before the referendum.

Last year BPS World spoke to business leaders, representative bodies and professionals in the recruitment and retention sectors in Europe, India, Australia and the USA. The research focussed on the sectors most affected by skills shortages in the UK and overseas. It is in these sectors that the impact of Brexit and any restrictions or changes to work permits, is likely to be most keenly felt.

One of those they spoke to was Marco Dadomo, from the Verein Deutscher Ingenieure (VDI, Association of German Engineers) in DÃƒ¼sseldorf: “As we know, Britain has already problems finding enough specialists in this sector. Brexit will make it less attractive for international experts to work in Britain for a British company. We have also heard that quite a lot of UK experts of different sectors plan to leave Britain when Brexit will be implemented.”

Simon Conington, Founder of BPS World argued;

“2017 is going to be a pivotal year for the UK economy. The decisions the government makes now on the implementation of Brexit will affect our ability to attract the talent we need to grow. The impact will be felt immediately as talent will not come to the UK if they know they will have to leave within two years. We urge the government to continue to ensure we have access to skilled people, particularly in sectors where we’re already struggling to find the talent we need.”

Kevin Green, Chief Executive of the REC welcomed the report:

“This review of the international community’s fears and needs following the EU referendum contains warnings about the challenges employers could face in the future. The prospect of skill and talent shortages intensifying in higher-end sectors is a huge concern. The government must ensure that any changes to immigration policy as a result of the EU negotiations reflect immediate labour market needs so that businesses can continue to grow.”

Brexit: What the World is Saying is available free to download from www.bps-world.com

Notes to Editors

BPS World are global resourcing experts who work across a number of sectors, specialising in technology, marketing and engineering.

For further information:

Julia Barton
Onyx
E: julia@onyxcomms.com
T: + 44 20 7048 2700

November 1, 2016July 1, 2022

3 Tips for Dealing with a Manipulative Project Co-Worker

Are you stuck working with a project manager who is manipulative and dishonest? If you are, you’re not alone!

Today’s workplace is a cut-throat environment with everyone trying to get ahead in some way, shape, or form. It’s no surprise that there are malicious, sneaky project managers who will do anything to get a leg up to succeed or survive, even if it means throwing you under the bus. Like a clever politician, these project managers keep their desires hidden, but underneath a friendly and charming exterior is a highly destructive individual whose goals are power and control. Pretending to pursue the greater good, he or she adopts the mantra of “company first” with a fervency that inspires admiration and respect, and most people accept his or hers claims of a selfless pursuit of noble causes.

Regardless of your industry, profession, experience level or company, these manipulative people exist and, if given the right opportunity, they can ruin your reputation and career prospects. They’ll tell you that the entire team hates you, thinks you’re arrogant, stupid, or incompetent, and attempt to manipulate you into believing that their opinions are objective facts. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology called it “social undermining” and “bottom line mentality.”

“According to a recent survey, roughly 90% of folks who read this post are presently working with at least one person who, mentally, would be described as a manipulator”.

Proving yourself in a new organization is hard enough. When someone manipulates and lies about you, it can hurt your relationships, your reputation, and your career. Luckily, Project Journal has 3 tips for effectively dealing with this workplace danger.

1. Don’t Ignore Your Gut
I should’ve seen it coming. Unfortunately, there isn’t a clear-cut answer to the question “Friend or foe.” If you find yourself putting up your guard around a co-worker, you might wonder if you’re imagining things and being paranoid? Well, maybe you are, but under no circumstances should you ignore your feeling. From experience, this is often the very first sign of trouble. Weak leaders sometimes resort to emotional deceit as a weapon for getting things done. Try to consider facts objectively. Manipulation is normally felt, rather than heard or seen, so you must listen to your gut.

What makes you mistrust this person? Do they constantly gossip? If so, be careful as those who gossip to you, will probably be doing the same about you too and like Mom always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Plus, you don’t want to get caught up in the drama when people find out about this control freak’s gossiping.

Trust that you will be thrown under the bus when “stuff” hits the fan. If you’re still unsure, you should run their behaviour by objective people you trust. As trust is built on the foundations of a good relationship, instead of basing trust on someone’s words, observe their deeds.

2. Dealing with a Bad Apple
There’s a lot to be said for the old saying, “One bad apple can spoil the whole barrel.” Not only is that true for fruit, but it holds a lot of merit in the work environment. Rude behavior is contagious. Toxic manipulative employees have an unhealthy ripple effect that harms co-workers, managers, and subordinates alike. They lack positive personality traits, such as genuine concern for others, a generous and understanding nature, a desire to teach and encourage, a desire to have straightforward dealings with others. They dwell in a very dark place lit only by their own ambition.

“It takes just one malicious employee among the ranks to wreak havoc on your team’s culture.”

Healthy human interactions are not dominated by manipulation. If you feel you can’t trust them, don’t. Manipulators do not communicate openly. Instead, they resort to flattery or play the victim to gain your trust and sympathy. Through artful, indirect and devious methods, they influence and control others and have a fair amount of social support, most likely because no one wants to be on their bad side. But that doesn’t mean their behavior isn’t harmful.

Your priority in this situation must be to protect your professional standing. Begin documenting every instance of destructive behavior and take it to a higher authority. When a co-worker starts manipulating you and ignoring the behavior doesn’t work, distance yourself, if possible and keep all correspondences. When colleagues try to sabotage you, they might tell you lies to cause you to make mistakes. The more you cover yourself, the less you have to worry about. Change your passwords, shut down your computer when you leave your desk, and keep sensitive documents under lock and key. Remember to “choose your words carefully when sending emails so that things you write can’t come back to bite you. Unfortunately, if you lose your cool, you will be in danger of looking undignified.”

“When you know what a man wants you know who he is, and how to move him.”
’- George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

It can be tempting to excuse the antagonistic worker who seems zealous about his job, but clearly, those employees may be undermining the entire workforce. Being direct lets the other person know you’re aware of their manipulative behavior, and in some cases, that may be enough to nip it in the bud. If you stay out of their world of negativity, you will be a much more difficult target for their manipulation.

3. Counteracting Sabotage
Manipulators are blind to the serious defects in their character, but keenly aware of the slightest weakness or imperfection in others. They are judgmental, suspicious, demanding and calculating, all negative personality characteristics. Even their outward charm is cold and calculated. Before you can deal with the situation, you need to understand the impact.

Is it a small lie with little effect? Is it a big lie that requires damage control or even legal action? Consider how others might view the situation. Although it may be difficult, the best choice might be simply to move on as the people who make it in the long-term are the ones who are honest, hardworking and able to maintain their professionalism.

“According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, workplace sabotage is on the rise in this difficult economy.”

If you choose to directly address the situation. It is critical to use neutral language and tone of voice. Do not stoop to their level, it is important to keep your integrity. Consider having witnesses to your conversation so it’s not your word against theirs.

Your final action can be accepting an apology and moving on, or it can be reporting the lie to a higher authority. In extreme cases, it can be making a formal complaint or hiring an attorney. It’s smart to search for job postings, even when you have no intention to quit. Obviously, you don’t want to let one bad apple lead to your resignation but, if nothing else, knowing you have options can help you feel more empowered and in control of the situation.

Other signs sabotage may be in the works: You don’t receive a promotion or responsibilities you logically should have gotten; cold or averse behavior from management that is (seemingly) out of nowhere; sudden and unexplained alienation by individual co-workers or even entire cliques; or unwarranted and continuous kind behavior from someone that was formerly aloof, ambivalent or even aggressive.

Manipulative behavior is widespread, but fortunately, it doesn’t exist everywhere. Do you have manipulative co-workers? How do you dodge their requests and still manage to pave a successful career path? Tell us what you think?

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September 29, 2015July 1, 2022

7 Signs that Suggest You Should Step Away from Managing the Church Project

Signs That You Aren't Cut-Out To Be A Project Manager

The lack of project management training or experience of many Christian leaders can be an enormous stress factor for them. Whilst natural organizational ability is enormously helpful, in itself it is no guarantee of any project being both successful and low stress.

As a Project Manager, you will need to manage every aspect of the project from start to finish, working on a series of pre-determined goals and objectives. Not everyone is cut out to be a Project Manager. It’s not even necessarily a highly desirable job. You get a lot of visibility, but not necessarily a lot of recognition, unless the project is very successful and highly visible. As such project management is not for the faint-hearted.

Although specific responsibilities vary from industry to industry, the role of a Project Manager will generally include the following:

Defining the project
Scheduling
Budgeting
Risk assessing
Project control
Providing direction and support to the team
Quality checking
Reporting progress, problems, and solutions
Assessing results of the project
Closing down the project
Managing and working with multiple stakeholders

When it comes to project managing, it is important to have certain skills to be the most effective Project Manager you can be. Some people have these skills and others do not. Here’s our list of indicators that you may not be well suited to be a Project Manager in no particular order:

1. You’re a poor communicator

More than 50% of a Project Managers time is spent on some aspect of communication. The majority of conflicts in a team involve problems in communication, either as a cause or an effect. A lack of understanding can result from ineffective communication and can then lead to further communication issues. Communication skills are ranked first among a job candidate’s ‘must have’ skills and qualities according to a 2010 survey by the National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE).

Poor communicators will often believe that giving people facts about a situation will be sufficient to influence them into following a particular course of action. However as Richard Nixon said,

“People Are Persuaded by Reason, but Moved by Emotion; The Leader Must Both Persuade Them and Move Them.”

Avoiding communication is a common occurrence when a difficult conversation is anticipated. Project Managers with low confidence will tend to ignore opportunities to pass on difficult messages with the result that the communication vacuum only serves to increase the size of the problem in the team. The old adage that “no news is good news” doesn’t usually apply in such circumstances as the team on the receiving end of the silence will fill the void with their own perceptions, doubts, and fears.

Poor Project Managers also tend to react emotionally and erratically when communicating with the team which can make it difficult for the team on the receiving end to anticipate how the communication will progress. Lack of honesty and not sharing how you really feel can also lead to a lack of trust in the team.

2. You don’t work well with people

Good Project Managers make an effort to spend a lot of time with clients, stakeholders, and team members. If you don’t like working within a team and prefer to stay in one location and focus on your own work, you probably don’t have the collaborative ability to be a good Project Manager. While one person working alone can have an impact, your role as a leader is to guide your team to accomplish bigger goals than they could achieve on their own.

A Great Person Attracts Great People and Knows How to Hold Them Together — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

3. You don’t like to manage people

You don’t have much of a project if you’re the only resource. If you want to be a good project manager, you need to be able to manage people well. You will probably never have a 100% responsibility for people, but you will need to show leadership, hold them accountable, manage conflict, etc. Some project managers say they could do a much better job if they did not have to deal with people. If that’s how you feel, project management is probably not for you.

Earn Your Leadership Every Day – Michael Jordan

4. You don’t like to document things or follow processes

Many aspects of project management requires documenting things, including status reporting, communication plans, scope changes, and project plans. A Lack of process increases the risk that tasks related to the project will fall through the cracks, that projects will have to be re-worked, and ultimately that a project won’t be completed on time or on budget. A good project manager needs to be effective at process and information management.

The Art of Leadership Is Saying No, Not Saying Yes. It Is Very Easy to Say Yes — Tony Blair

5. You cannot tell the client “no”

Clients aren’t the same as customers. Sometimes they need to be guided in the right direction. This is your job. Clients who change project requirements all the time or who demand unreasonable working hours need to be managed.

A Leader is One who Knows the Way, Goes the way, and Shows the way — John Maxwell

6. You don’t like to plan and are not organised

The project managers job is to organise everyone in the team. If you cannot plan, you can hardly be an effective leader. When a client gives you a project, if your first inclination is start working, you probably don’t have a project management mindset. The Project Managers overall task is to keep the project on budget and on target. Sticking to deadlines is very important.

The Key to Successful Leadership Today is Influence, Not Authority — Kenneth Blanchard

7. You Micromanage the team

Babysitting the team. It’s very common for poor Project Managers to treat their job like an enforcer, policing the project team for progress and updates.