Tag: pastors

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How to Use the Bible to Parent Children With Disabilities

United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund estimates that about 240 million children are born with impairments. As a result, Christians raising children with disabilities must understand how to nurture them biblically. However, this might be one of the most difficult elements of parenting.

The good news is that you can often find guidance on how to raise your children, whether they have disabilities or not, in the Bible. Here are some biblical guidelines for how Christians should see disabilities and how the Bible can help you raise a child with disability.

Model Godly Behavior in Your Child

Modeling Godly behavior to your child is the best way to teach him or her. God’s love and wisdom are clearly demonstrated in Scripture. Using Bible verses or read Christian blogs such as When you need God, as a parent will help your children learn how to apply them to their lives even if they have disabilities.

For example, Proverbs 22:6 teaches Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. You can use the proverb to talk about taking care of our bodies through proper diet and exercise.

Also, you could apply to education by using verses such as 2 Timothy 3:16-17, which states, All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. You could apply this verse to teaching kids what is right or wrong based on biblical principles rather than just human thoughts.

Talk to Your Child

The National Center for Biotechnology Information states that it is crucial to maintain positive and open communication when parenting a child with disabilities. Listen more than you speak. Kids want to be heard. Ask your child how they feel about their disability and what they think is important about having a disability.

This can help you tailor your approach for them, which will make you an even better parent.It is also helpful when kids transition from one stage of life to another, like elementary school to middle school or high school. According to the Bible, patience is a virtue, and consider practicing it.

Children are embarrassed by their disabilities. But do not let that stop you from communicating with them on the subject or assuming anything about their limitations. Do not go overboard: You will probably have good and bad days as a parent of a child with disabilities. And that is okay!

House Chores

The Bible contains some specific instructions for believers to care for those less fortunate than themselves. In Ephesians 4:28, Paul writes, “…but must work, doing something useful with their own hands….”

He gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers. Many Christian parents use the passage as Biblical guidance on how to divide household chores among their children.

For Christians raising children with disabilities, certain Biblical principles can guide them through the challenges of parenting a child with a disability. One example is Galatians 6:2, which says, Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

It is important to remember that while you may have more struggles or responsibilities in life because your child has a disability, you also have the power to make life easier for your child by carrying the burden together.

Assure Your Children That They Are Normal

Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. Children with disabilities, just like every other child, have a desire for love and acceptance. Take time daily to assure your child that they are unique and special.

Talk about how much you love them, how beautiful they are, and how glad God chose them as your child. For example, Proverbs 3:5 says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.

In essence, God promises He will be there for you and gives you confidence that He is in control of everything that happens. Psalm 139:14 asserts I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You can point out this verse during bath time or when changing a diaper to remind them of how special they are.

According to the Book of Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus encourages people who have disabilities by saying, Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. These reminders can provide relief for your child while giving them a strong foundation as they grow.

Biblical Guidance on Disciplining Children Born With Disabilities

It is important that Christians raising children with disabilities get some biblical perspective on discipline. God commands parents to discipline your children. Discipline is not punishment; it is simply teaching a child what is right and wrong.

Parents should use biblical guidance for disabilities in disciplining their children. According to Hebrews 12:11-12 No discipline feels pleasant at the time but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those trained by it.

That is why an important piece of parenting children with disabilities is guiding them in the right direction. One good example would be Proverbs 23:13, which says, Withhold not correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.

The Bottom Line: Ask God for Wisdom

There is no shame in asking God for help. You might be afraid of what you will hear but consider it an opportunity to ask God for wisdom as you raise your children. Remember that He loves you and your children and knows what they need better than anyone else.

Trust Him when He answers; ask Him again when you do not understand why things happen as they do. God wants us to be good parents, and he wants us to succeed. Inquire of him for wisdom and biblical guidance for disabilities in parenting your children. He will make sure you have everything you need.

(Psalm 111:10) The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Read the Bible and pray regularly, especially when facing challenges in raising your children. Ask God to help you understand how He can use your difficult circumstances to bring glory to Himself.

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Understanding the role of a Christian life coach

For many people, the work of a counselor or a therapist is similar to that of a life coach, and they wouldn’t be far wrong. There are many areas of overlap, both in terms of the methods of helping clients and the type of problems they deal with.

However, whilst there are many similarities, there are significant key areas in how the work differs.

Let’s consider the main differences between the two and then see how a Christian life coach can best be used to advance your goals.

Angle of approach

The work of a life coach is to identify and describe any given problem. Only from here can the client work on making changes to their lives.

The work of a counselor will analyze a client’s past to understand current behaviors.

So the primary difference is that the counselor/therapist looks backwards to work out the “why”, whereas a coach looks forward to working out the “how”. This may feel like a small and insignificant difference but it has huge implications both in the way a professional works with their client, but also in terms of how to move forward with that client.

There are often great benefits from having a therapist help someone overcome trauma and difficulty with past issues and hurts in life. However there are often times when there is little to no benefit to looking back, and the goal of moving forward is all that is needed. This is where a life coach best comes in.

REACHING your goal

Counselor/therapists work with clients in exploring your current understanding of your life and also to help explore your subconscious. The benefit of this is to help everyone achieve a deeper understanding of life’s patterns and behavior. Naturally, this can be beneficial with issues of anxiety or depression.

However, it’s a completely different approach for a life coach. Taking the above approach works with the belief that it’s the past that is causing a client to be stuck in the present, when that’s not necessarily the case.

A life coach works on the principle of seeing where a client is stuck right now, and what the immediate options are to help overcome the stagnation. It’s more than possible to move forward without having to unpick the past. In short, Life Coaching is all about action and results.

Usually a life coach will measure the success of their clients, using known and proven metrics such as SMART goals and Key Performance Indicators (KPIs).

It’s through the use of proven accountability and this focus on results that enables clients to progress towards achieving their dreams.

Framework

For both life coaches and therapists/counselor, the use talking sessions is how they help their clients, but that’s where the similarities end.

Counselling sessions are often unstructured sessions and client led. The conversation may start at one point, and then zig zag all over the place, pulling at random threads in life, covering the past, the present and the future… but not necessarily in that order!

Life coaching is far more structured. The goal is to find just one actionable outcome by the end of the session. This structured method, sometimes quick, sometimes slow, provides tangible results and visible growth for the client.

What is different about working with a Christian life coach?

Christians understand that the world has come into being through a creator God. Not only does the Lord create the wonder around us, but he has also created us as unique human beings, made in his image.

Christians understand that a life with God is not about obeying rules, but about being in an intimate relationship with God. He has counted and numbered the hairs on our heads. We were knit together in our mother’s womb. God has created us for good works. He knows us and we know him. In John 10:27, Jesus says “My sheep hear my voice. I know them and they follow me”

A Christian life coach takes all of those biblical principles, and weaves them together, into the life coaching framework.

This framework does two specific things. It helps clients achieve their best. However, more important than that, it helps a client achieve their best in God.

This is the unique approach that a Christian life coach offers.

It’s also worth noting at this point that a Christian life coach differs hugely from a ‘spiritual’ life coach.

A Christian life coach will be intimate with the bible and Christ’s calling for all believers. Often they will have studied theology at a deep level, with some, including the author of this article, being pastors themselves.

A Spiritual life coach may not hold to biblical principles at all. They may be open to a client exploring whatever they consider ‘spiritual’, but doesn’t particularly agree with Jesus’ statement of him being ‘The way, the truth and the life’.

So for a Christian life coach, to bring biblical spirituality to the role, helps those being coached to walk in godliness. This doesn’t refrain a client from seeking God’s will for their lives. In fact, completely the opposite. It is the hopes and dreams that the Lord places inside each of us, his children, that we need to draw out, examine and give back to God, that creates the success that both the coach and the coach is looking for.

So is life coaching right for you? Pray about it. Seek God’s will, and pray for direction as he guides you in your life. That guidance may come through a message at church, private reflection in your study of God’s word, or maybe, just maybe, it might come through the work of a life coach, as they help you to discover how God is leading you on in the future of your life.

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She’s Interested and He’s Not Pursuing

There’s a joke going around: men in the church are like parking spaces. The good ones are either already taken — or they’re handicapped.

Houston, we have a problem. It’s a problem that will require all of our effort, courage, confidence and creativity to solve.

Christianity is the largest religion in the world, claiming 2.2 billion of the world’s 6.9 billion people, as of last year and dating is a big deal for most young Christians. However, ask any young woman what the Christian dating scene is like these days.

“Christian men … ugh.”  Grim. Impossible. Slim pickings they’ll  say.

Young Christian men simply won’t commit, they’ll  say and if you’re lucky they’ll  call once – never to be heard from again.

And the churchgoing men who are available? Well, there’s a reason they’re single.

“Usually, he respects or admires the godly young woman (or, other people in his Church think he should admire her more), and yet he’s not physically attracted to her. She’s not his “type,” he says.”

So why are all the single Christian ladies having trouble finding single Christian guys for companionship and romance?  A plethora of Christian dating websites, books, blogs, advice columns, and magazine articles have surfaced in the last few years, attempting to give Christian young women some helpful tips for snagging a godly man and achieving that much-desired state of wedded bliss.

  • Date for at least a year.
  • Don’t kiss before you’re married.
  • Be careful how much time you spend together.
  • Date a bunch of people before getting serious.
  • Don’t unless you are ready to move in the direction of marriage.  

It’s not terrible advice— waiting until marriage takes work. But here’s the thing: Relationships take work.  However, while most Chrisitan ladies have internal regulations in the form of our Spirit inspired convictions and knowledge of the Bible, it does not seem to be enough?

Could it be that we screened all the godly young men out of church as boys?  

Probably not entirely, as according to Mark Regenerus, a sociology professor at the University of Texas, young single women in the church outnumber young single men by a three-to-two ratio.

That’s right ladies, you’re not imagining it: there’s a severe shortage of single men in the church. Not just here in the U.S., but also around the world.

“There are almost no men in my country who are following Christ. And French men will not marry a woman whose faith in Jesus is so strong. She is a leper in their eyes.” –  Christian woman from France

A young godly man knows he’s a catch – particularly if he’s dedicated to his faith, good looking and works out and there are hardly any other man is his Church. With each week that passes, he’s presented with a congregation full of single women. Most haven’t been on a date in a while. He has his pick of the bunch.

There’s even a joke about the gender imbalance. It goes like this:

“Men in the church are like parking spaces. All the good ones are either already taken, or they’re handicapped.”

Furthermore, it has been confirmed that the supply of young women grows with each passing year.

So whats the solution?

God Will Orchestrate the Love Story

Do you find yourself becoming resentful that God is withholding something from you?

  • Still waiting to find the man of your dreams
  • Your greatest desire is to have a baby
  • You want to experience the joy of being “equally yoked” with a godly husband

Desperation is dangerous because it focuses on self: What I want. What I must have. What I cannot live without. Firstly,  if and when the time comes for you to be married, God will orchestrate the love story. But in the meantime, your focus is to be on serving God and pouring your life out for God, not on getting serious about getting married. The timing is up to God, not you.

Singled Out in Church

Secondly, research shows that single men are more likely to attend churches that fit the following profile:

  • Large
  • Headed by a male pastor who’s bold and outspoken
  • Offers intentional male discipleship
  • Worship service is done in under 90 minutes

Apart from salvation, there is perhaps a way that the concept “God helps those who help themselves” is correct. We’re not suggesting you switch churches over this issue. It probably wouldn’t hurt to visit another church once in awhile – especially if your church offers nothing for singles.

Also remember that there are actually some Christ-men out there who are praying and hoping for a set-apart young woman – one who is not following after the trends of the culture, or who are not wallowing around in discontentment or on the constant prowl for a guy.

Any pastors who are reading, have you ever stopped to listen, really listen, to the women in your church about how they feel they are treated or perceived?

Any other advice?

 

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Why Should I Hire a Project Manager for My Church Project?

Is it worth hiring a project manager when any seemingly knowledgeable pastor or church member might do?

The truth is, project managers can be a valuable asset to any organization. Whereas the average church member who is only familiar with certain tasks might be overwhelmed by the complexity of major organizational assignments, project managers are trained to handle programs with elaborate factors such as high budgets, increased manpower and layers of duties.

An Astounding 97% of Organizations Believe Project Management Is Critical to Business Performance and Organizational Success. (Source: PricewaterhouseCoopers)

On the flip side, some professional bodies disagree, arguing that professionals like pastors, marketers, and accountants are able to manage projects just as well as any project manager with some effort.

Barely over Half (56%) of Project Managers Are Certified  (Source: Wrike)

“It’s a raging debate,” said Tony Marks, author of the 20:20 Project Management guide.

“Some industries, such as oil and gas, are hesitant to hire outside project management specialists because they may lack industry knowledge. Instead, these industries prefer to employ technical experts and put them through project management training.”

“The danger is that these  people  are more likely to get  sucked into their comfort zone dealing with the nitty-gritty and technical detail they understand and are fascinated by when they should be managing the project,” said Tony Marks.

In addition to being trained to juggle tasks efficiently, project managers spend an enormous amount of time honing their skills. Much more goes into the craft than obtaining Prince2 or APM certifications.

According to Mike Savage of Thales Training and Consultancy, the International Project Management Association requires its professionals to have at least 15 years of experience and training. The association has four grades from D to A. At the A level, project managers must have a minimum of five years project management experience, five years of program management and five years of portfolio management.

“So to Say That Anyone Can Be a Project Manager Is like Saying Anyone Can Be a Brain Surgeon, Said Savage.”

But just because there are individuals specializing in project management doesn’t mean non-specialists can’t learn the techniques as well. Ian Clarkson of training course provider QA encourages everyone to learn project management practices.

“The skills, leadership, planning and stakeholder engagement techniques are vital to all disciplines,” he said.

“Projects which are run by engineers with project management training are less likely to be successful than the reverse,” said Lloyd’s Register energy program director Roger Clutton. “If there is a lack of technical expertise that will show up in the risk assessment. But a lack of project management skills is much less likely to be detected.”

With that, it seems that the argument on whether or not hiring an outside project management is necessary will continue. But the debate only seems relevant to rival professions as there is projected to be 15 million new project management jobs within the decade. (Source: Project Management Institute).

No matter how you look at it, though, it seems that trained and experienced project managers  must be  worth their weight in gold.

 

 

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