Tag: Love

Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.

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The Church, a Wolf, and Little Red Riding Hood

The Church, a Wolf, and Little Red Riding Hood

Most of us have grown up with many popular fairy tales told to us as children. The legendary story “Little Red Riding Hood” In most versions (although definitely not all of them) there is one common theme: a wolf attacks a young woman through deception.  Like parables, such stories are never intended to convey meaning in every detail. Yet, much of it may draw, even in unsuspecting ways, the reader to precepts or principles pertinent to circumstances behind the story. Such is the following on Little Red Riding Hood.

There is actually a lesson in that theme for God’s people today.

1. The Church. Satan’s wolves do more than disguise themselves as Granny. As Paul warned, they often present themselves as “ministers of righteousness” (2 Corinthians 11:15). Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheeps clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

“That’s a lie!” said the wolf. “You won’t die!”

2. The Law. One of the most common deceptions by these types of wolves is the claim that the law was done away with. Using selective sections of the apostle Paul’s writings, these wolves deceive people into crying,  “Oh, what freedom you have!”

This was the very same tactic that Satan employed in the Garden of Eden.

3. False prophets. While these people appear to be godly—they come in sheep’s clothing—Christ said that inwardly they were “ravenous wolves” (Matthew 7:15). These are people who claim to be children of God—but who don’t teach and live the word.

Another  Fake Jesus Christ was recently arrested and remanded in Uganda on Thursday, November 9th, for belonging and managing an unlawful society by the Magistrate’s court.  According to a report by Uganda’s Newspaper, Daily Monitor, the accused claimed not to be under any authority including the police, local council administration or the president of Uganda. The man purporting to be Jesus was arraigned in court alongside his three followers who preferred to be identified with their alias names.

“Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?”

4. The world. Wake up from your Slumber. Frequently in Scripture believers are exhorted to wake up, to be revived, and they are warned of the dangers of spiritual sleep. Christ warned us “Go your way; behold, I send you out as lambs among wolves” (Luke 10:3). The world is under the sway of Satan.

As a believer in Jesus, we are promised a new life covered under the protection of God in which NOTHING can separate us from His love. Rest knowing that no matter what hardship you face, God is your provider and protector!  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of the wolf, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

5. Wealth. These wolves say, “all this I will give you if you will bow down and worship me.” Christ warned of the “deceitfulness of riches” (Matthew 13:22; Mark 4:19). Your response should be   “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

“There was something wolfish about them?”

6. Marriage  How many times have we heard the story of the little red riding hood (aka Christian Sister or Brother) who fell in love with a big bad Wolf?    ‘It wasn’t beauty, it was the beast, she or he says in regret.  Being equally yoked is not meant to inhibit our dating lives. Rather, it is a command designed for protection and honor. Being unequally yoked is more dangerous than you think – and waiting for someone with whom you share the same spiritual heritage is far more rewarding than many believe.

Hey, Little Red Riding Hood, where are you going, so alone, so”¦ alone?

7. Relationship. Without Jesus, you can do nothing. An intimate relationship with God is required. That means fellowship with God daily. The big bad wolf was disguised to trick little red riding hood, but the wolf could not mislead her because Little red riding hood knew her grandmother intimately. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. – John 10:27”

“You can huff and puff but I will not worship you!”

8. Worship.  Shadrach,  Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, “We don’t need to answer your last question. If our God, whom we honor, can save us from a blazing furnace and from your power, he will, Your Majesty.  Nebuchadnezzar was so filled with anger toward Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego that his face turned red and he ordered that the furnace should be heated seven times hotter than normal. However,  God commissions His angels to save His chosen ones from calamity, to guard them against “the pestilence that walketh in darkness” and “the destruction that wasteth at noonday.”  

These eight types (or packs, if you will) of “wolves” have plagued Christ’s followers throughout history.

These are just a few of the tricks and deceptions that are used by Satan and his wolves. Some wolves are masters of deception and disguise. They talk like Christians. They use the Bible. They seem like nice people. They are so loving! But they will draw you in to eat you for dinner!

God’s people must learn the lesson of Little Red Riding Hood. Let’s never allow ourselves to fall prey to the Satan’s deceptions.  

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Are We Running Our Christianity like a Business?

Because I was born and raised in the USA, my soul is steeped in attributes promoted by the business culture: efficiency, cleverness, and the ability to get what I want by pushing my way through.

After all, from kindergarten I’ve been taught that

  1. You can do anything, if you only want it enough!
  2. When you work smarter, not harder, you get ahead!
  3. Be confident  – a positive attitude is the attitude of a leader!

The Business of Christianity

And because I always prided myself on being a good student, I unfortunately mastered these lessons, to the point that, when I learned about God and chose to live my life with Him (I’m really trying to avoid the vague term, “came to Jesus”). I brought years worth of corporate teaching into the relationship which was fine, really, in the new church Christian culture I had entered, because the same business maxims I had internalized were here as well, only with different wording:

  1. You can do anything in Jesus as long as you have enough faith, and express it the right way!
  2. When you lead the right life with Jesus — rise early for Quiet Time, participate in church activities, attend Sunday School, join small groups, and pray with positive faith – you’ll get ahead!
  3. Faith never expresses doubt or negativity Faith BELIEVES! If you have chronic problems in your life, it’s because you don’t believe enough!

Obviously, this is a simplification, and the entire U.S. Christianity message isn’t limited to these three statements, but the substance is there: these are some rules to help you succeed, get ahead, or (to put it more spiritually), live the abundant Christian life.

Rules Become Laws

But these rules don’t work, really, because they have nothing to do with Jesus, His words, His love for us, and His incredible example (which He’s constantly, and gently, teaching us to follow) of trusting our Father in heaven. All cultures bring their unique aspects – both good and bad – into the Christian arena, and because the U.S. culture is strongly influenced by making money and getting ahead materialistically, these particular idols set themselves up on the raised dais, well disguised behind esoteric terminology.

The Statements Are True, Sort of, But with a Twist

There’s nothing wrong with hard work, brainstorming, and taking initiative – indeed, because we are made in our Father’s image, we share his love for creativity and joy. But it’s very easy to confuse hard work with busyness, brainstorming with cunning, and taking initiative with pushing others out of the way – all actions not remotely associated with Christ’s work on earth – or in heaven.

When Jesus expressed confidence, it was in the love of His Father; when He prayed, it was frequently in an isolated place,  in conversation with His Father and ours; when He chided His disciples for their lack of faith, it was not prelude to punishment; when asked to define the greatest, most important commandment, He emphasized love – for God, and our neighbor.

Faith, hope, love, trust – these are not attitudes we put on like a suit; they are attributes we develop when we become like the children in our Father’s household. And children, as any savvy CEO will tell you, are not cutthroat businessmen.

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Bear Grylls Shares The Heartbreaking Story That Led To His Faith In Jesus Christ

Edward Michael “Bear” Grylls was born 7 June 1974 and is a British adventurer, writer and television presenter from Northern Ireland. He is widely known for his television series Man vs. Wild (2006–2011), originally titled Born Survivor: Bear Grylls in the United Kingdom.

Bear Grylls May Be  known  for His Wild Ways  and Impressive  survival Skills, but There’s a Side to Him That Many Haven’t Seen.

Grylls is also involved in a number of wilderness survival television series in the UK and US and in 2009 was appointed the youngest-ever Chief Scout in the UK at age 35,  but there’s a side to him that many haven’t seen.

Bear Grylls is a born again Christian and if you happen to meet him in person, you’ll quickly learn that he’s unashamed to tell you so.  Whilst Bear  Grylls  doesn’t claim to be a perfect Christian, it was his deepest struggles in life which caused him to give his life to Jesus Christ.

When he was 4-years-old, Grylls’  family shifted to Bembridge village on the easternmost point of the Isle of Wight.  From an early age, the adventurous little tyke  learned to climb and sail with his father, who was a member of the prestigious Royal Yacht Squadron. But his curious ways and tendency to run towards  danger made him a handful.

Grylls said, “I behaved badly at school, perhaps in part because Dad was working very hard, and often late. My mum, as his assistant, worked beside him.  I remember once biting a boy so hard that I drew blood, and then watching as the teachers rang my father to say they didn’t know what to do with me. My father said he knew what to do, and came to the school at once. With a chair placed in the middle of the gym, and all the other children sitting cross-legged on the floor around him, he whacked me until my backside was black and blue.”

Bear  became a Cub Scout at the age of eight, earning a dan black belt in Shotokan Karate when he was eleven. He learned to skydive as a young teen, and also was one of the youngest in the world to scale Mount Everest at the age of 23, but  all the while, he  clung to his Faith in Jesus Christ.

“I had a very natural faith as a kid,” Grylls told Relevant Magazine. “As a really young kid, I never questioned God. I just knew God existed and it felt like He was my friend.”

Young Grylls’ adventurous spirit and wild heart didn’t make it easy on his parents — and he has an endless amount of escape  stories to prove it.  Unfortunately in  high school,  Grylls  came across several ‘believers’ that distorted his view of  Christianity,  and over time, Bear  abandoned his Faith.

“When I got to school it [Christianity] became a lot more religious and I thought, ‘I don’t like this,’” he told CBN. “It was all about church-going and people telling you not to smoke behind the bike shed. I thought, ‘If this is God, maybe I’ve got the whole deal wrong.’ So I kind of ditched my faith.”

With stories like  miraculously surviving  a  sinking mud-pit, and getting dismissed from prep school  for kissing the headmaster’s daughter; Grylls’ teenage years make  even the wildest teenagers appear to be god saints.

Reflecting back on his rebellious ways, Bear said, “I would explore all the forbidden areas of the school and grounds, and I knew I was faster and more agile than any of the security guards. One night, I attempted an ascent of the 120ft-high school library dome. Sir Ranulph Fiennes, a pupil before me, had conquered it by improvising a stepladder. I used the lightning conductor.”

At the age  16, Grylls  lost his godfather who had been like a second father. Overtaken with grief and not knowing where else to turn, Bear found a refuge in God.

“I remember wanting to pray, but not knowing how to,” he recalled to CBN.  Grylls climbed up in a tree and poured his heart out to God. “Will you be that friend to me that you were at five or six when it felt natural?” he asked.

Bear told  Relevant Magazine,  “It was no more complicated than that. And actually the amazing thing is that all God asks is that we sort of open the door and He’ll do the rest.  So often we kinda hide behind our yearning for love and acceptance with loads of complicated theological questions, and actually once that’s stripped away, what we really are is just somebody who wants to have that relationship with your Father.”

With a  renewed spirit and faith in Christ, Grylls  joined the ‘Territorial Army’ (Army Reserve UK) after high school and worked at the Special Air Service unit of the army for three years.  During a SAS skydive in 1996, Grylls survived a horrifying parachuting accident in Zambia. His parachute ripped at 16,000  ft, partially opening, causing him to free-fall and land on his back, but by the grace of God, Bear survived.

On 16 May 1998 just 18 months after his horrific accident,  Grylls achieved his childhood dream of climbing Mount Everest in Nepal and was later recognised in the  ‘Guinness Book of Records’  as the youngest Briton to climb Ama Dablam, a peak described by Sir Edmund Hillary as “unclimbable”.

Bear met his wife, Shara,  after he had finally recovered from his parachute accident.  It was love at first sight.  And from that moment forward, the two wild-hearted adventurers were inseparable.

Grylls  revealed, “I pulled out the ring from my butt cheeks,’ the TV personality explained during an episode of Piers Morgan’s Life Stories with a grin on his face. Despite the bizarre proposal, Shara said ‘Yes’.”

Grylls explained, “We figured that if [marriage] was the most important thing we were ever going to do, we should do everything we could to stop it breaking in the first place.  At our wedding, we asked our guests for their best marriage advice. We got some gems of replies but the best came from a couple who had been married for 50 years. It was also the simplest: ‘Never stop holding hands.’ That’s what Shara and I have always tried to do, both physically and metaphorically.”

But within a year of  their wedding, Grylls’  father – the most inspirational figure in his life – passed away at the  age of 66.

“Losing my dad when we had just got married was a really tough one,” he admitted in an interview with The Telegraph. “Suddenly it was like, ‘Bang! OK. How are we going to pay the electricity bill? How are we going to look after our mothers?’ I felt totally thrown in the deep end. It always felt too early. We had to lean on each other, and that was when our marriage really started.”

Despite all of his accomplishments, Bear Grylls considers his Faith and family his greatest joys.  He explained  that activities don’t have to be “expensive or fancy” — it’s more about spending quality time together. “Togetherness is what it’s all about,” he added.

Bear and Shara have three sons, Jesse, Marmaduke and Huckleberry — the last of whom was born on their Thames River houseboat.

“We’ve been married almost 10 years, and that’s been a great glue to our family, actually. I look back now and I think it’d be really hard without that faith together — that sustained us.”

Grylls’  hosted  eleven successful television shows, authored  several books, and accomplished  dozens of personal goals such as hiking Mount Everest, becoming the youngest Chief Scout ever (at the age of 34-years-old),  wrestling an alligator, and holding  the world record for the “Highest Open-Air Formal Dinner Party” — held in a hot-air balloon at 7,600m.

But despite his many achievements, Bear Grylls remains a humble  family man who honors his wife and trusts in  his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Christianity is not about religion, it’s about faith, about being held, about being forgiven. It’s about finding joy and finding home”¦ I’ve yet to meet anyone who doesn’t want to be forgiven or held or find peace or joy in their life.

“The simple things is what I try to keep my faith like: Jesus is unchanging and we are forgiven”¦  I for one, do not want to reach the end of my life in a perfectly preserved body. I want to come flying in sideways, covered in scars, beaten up and screaming: ‘Yahoo! What a ride!’” – Bear Grylls  

 

 

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Marriage 2.0: Software Review

A newly married man wrote this to a computer *Data Analyst*

Dear Data Analyst

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from *Girlfriend 7.0* to *Wife 1.0* following acceptance of the oath from the KJV Bible Instruction Manual and found that the new *Wife 1.0* program began unexpected Child Processing? *Wife 1.0* has also taken up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn’t explicitly mentioned in the _KJV instruction manual?

In addition *Wife 1.0* installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialisation at the start of each day and then it constantly monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as *”Boys’ Night out 2.5″* and *”Golf 5.3″* no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected.

Attempting to operate selected *”Soccer 6.3″* always fails and *”Church 5.1″* and *”Shopping 7.1″* runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep *Wife 1.0* in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.
.
I am thinking of going back to *”Girlfriend 7.0″*, but the uninstall button doesn’t work on this program and after reading the instruction guide seems to be prohibited by KJV Manual 9.0. Can you please help?

The Systems Analyst replied:

*Dear Customer,*

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the *Wife 1.0 program and a lack of understanding of the KJV Bible Instruction Manual*.

Many customers upgrade from _Girlfriend 7.0_ to _Wife 1.0_ after acceptance of the oath from the KJV Bible Instruction Manual thinking that _Wife 1.0_ is merely a *UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.* This is not the case!

Actually, *Wife 1.0* is an _OPERATING SYSTEM_ designed by its *Creator* to run everything on your current platform. You must therefore review the KJV Bible Instruction Manual for daily guidance.

You will not be able to purge *Wife 1.0* and still convert back to _Girlfriend 7.0_, as *Wife 1.0* was not designed to do this and it is impossible to _uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed. The KJV Bible Instruction Manual only permits one installation. There maybe one or two exceptions to this rule, but you do not meet the criteria.

Some people have tried to install _Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0_ but have ended up with even more problems. *_(See Manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors’ Fees/)._* Plus the instruction manual clearly states whoever uninstalls Wife 1.0_ , except for sexual immorality, and installs another, commits adultery.”

Having *Wife 1.0* installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and learn to deal with the situation as best as you can. You will find that the more closely you adhere to the insttruction manual and operate in accordance with the authors example the better your experience will be.

When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the………
*C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE AND PRAY.EXE* Program and avoid attempting to use the _*Esc-Key_ for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run *C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME AND PRAY.EXE* a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Although *Wife 1.0,* demands respect, love, and attention,*Wife 1.0,* can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of *Wife 1.0,* , consider buying additional Software such as *”FAMILY PRAYER TIME 1.0, Flowers 2.0″* and *”Chocolates 5.0″*,*”Attention 6.0″* and *”HUGS\ KISSES 7.0″* or *”TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING and SHARE HOUSEHOLD DUTIES 10.0″* or *”even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1″* _(if Child processing has already started)._

*DO NOT* under any circumstances install *”Secretary 2.1″* _(Short Skirt Version)_ or *”One Nightstand 3.2″*, as this is not a supported Application for *Wife 1.0* and the system will almost certainly *CRASH*. In addition this could disqualify you from upgrading to, HEAVEN .11.0.

PS’ When my relationship crashed, I took a hard look at the conventional wisdom. Then did a reboot and emerged with a partnership that was built to last.

*BEST WISHES!*

Yours,”
Systems Analyst.

*#To all husbands/ future husbands*

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After 21 Years of Marriage, My Wife Wanted Me to Take Another Woman out to Dinner

Wife Asked Hubby to Go on a Date With Another Woman, It Changed His Life Forever

While we all know it’s important to spend time with the ones we love, how often do we go out of our way to make the effort to see them?  This story is heartwarming and tragic in equal measure, but will definitely have you thinking about the quality time you spend with the people closest to you.

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.  She said I Love You but I know this other woman loves you too and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to take out was my MOTHER who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.  ‘What’s wrong, are you well,’ she asked?  My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.  ‘I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,’  I responded. ‘Just the two of us.’  She thought about it for a moment, and then said,  I would like that very much.’

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.  When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she too seemed to be nervous about our date.
She waited in the door with her shawl on.  She had set her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last Wedding Anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s.  ‘I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,’ she said, as she got into the car.  ‘They can’t wait to hear about our date night’.

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.  My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large Print; half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting
there staring at me.  A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

‘It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were young,’  She said.

‘Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favour,’  I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extra-ordinary, but catching up on recent events of each others life.  We talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later,  She said, ‘I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.’
I agreed.

‘How was your Dinner Date?’ asked my wife when I got home.  ‘Very Nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,’ I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack.  It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have time to do anything for her.  Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said:

‘I paid this bill in advance.  I wasn’t sure that I could be there;  But nevertheless, I paid for two plates one for you and the other for your wife.
You will never know what that night meant to me.  I Love You, My Son.’

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: ‘I LOVE YOU!’ and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than parents, your family and friends.

Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till ‘some other time.’

Pass this story on  to a child, adult, parent,  friend  you care for.

So beautiful! I had tears in my eyes after reading this guest post!  I believe in God, family, truth between people, the power of love.  When we think of our family, our spouse, parents, or children, let us see them as a gift from God.

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It Doesn’t Matter How People See You, It Matters How God Sees You

In life, some may walk, others may run, but remember the Lord gave the tortoise and the horse the same days to reach Noah’s ark. No matter what obstacles lie in your path just continue to take steps forward and you will reach your destination.

Jacob looked at Joseph and saw a good son. The ten brothers looked at Joseph and saw a useless dreamer. The travellers looked at Joseph and saw a slave. Potiphar looked at Joseph and saw a fine servant. Potiphar’s wife looked at Joseph and saw a potential boyfriend. The prison officers saw in Joseph a prisoner. However, God looked at Joseph and saw a Prime Minister of Egypt in waiting.

Don’t be discouraged by what people see in you. Be encouraged by what God sees in you. Never underrate the person next to you because you never know what the Lord has deposited in that person.  Your maid may be a Chief Executive Officer in waiting for a company which shall employ your child. Your garden-boy may be a president in waiting.

Remember David got the anointing of becoming a King while he was a simple child herding sheep. Esther was a simple orphaned girl yet she was a Queen in waiting.

“It Doesn’t Matter How People See You, It Matters How God Sees You”.

God is God
He doesn’t care about *age*, no wonder he blessed Abraham.
He doesn’t care about *experience*, no wonder he chose David.
He doesn’t care about *gender,* no wonder he lifted Esther.
He doesn’t care about *your past*, no wonder he called Paul.
He doesn’t care about *your physical appearance*, no wonder he chose Zacchaeus
(the shortest one).
He doesn’t care about *fluency in speech* , no wonder he chose Moses.
He doesn’t care about *your career*, no wonder he chose Mary Magdalene; a prostitute.
All I know is that my God never changes
He never made *a promise he wouldn’t keep*
He never saw *a person he wouldn’t help*
He never heard *a prayer he wouldn’t answer*
He never found *a soul he wouldn’t love*
He never found *a sinner he wouldn’t forgive*

Let’s share God’s love and make the world a better place to live. Show that love by sharing this message with those you love.

 

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Poem: The Unravelling of a Christian Marriage

Marry the wrong person, everyday is Martyrs Day.
Marry a lazy person, everyday is Labour Day.
Marry a rich person everyday is New Year’s Day.
Marry an immature person, everyday would seem like Children’s Day.
Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool’s Day.
And if you don’t get married, everyday is Independence Day!

Marriage is the only school where you get a certificate before you start.
It’s also a school where you will never graduate.
It’s a school without a break or a free period.
It’s a school where no one is allowed to drop out.
It’s a school you will have to attend everyday of your life.
It’s a school where there is no sick leave or holidays.
It’s a school founded by God on the foundation of love.
The walls are made out of trust.
The door made out of acceptance.
The windows made out of understanding
The furniture made out of blessings
The roof made out of faith.

Be reminded that God is the only Principal and you are a student,
Even in times of storms, don’t be unwise and run outside.
Keep in mind that, this school is the safest place to be.
Never go to sleep before completing your assignments for the day.
Never forget  to communicate with your classmate and with the Principal.
If you find out something about your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate.
Remember your classmate is also just a student, not a graduate.
God is not finished with him/her yet.
So take it as a challenge and work on it together.
Do not forget to study the Holy Book (the main textbook of this school).
Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way.

Sometimes you will feel like not attending classes, yet you have to.
When tempted to quit find courage and continue.
Some tests and exams may be tough but remember,
the Principal knows how much you can bear and yet it’s a school better than any other.

It’s one of the best schools on earth;
joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.

Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.
After all the years of theorising about it, now you have a chance to practice it.

To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.
Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse.

Whether you’re married, engaged, or still single, we hope that you have found wisdom and encouragement in this poem about marriage.  

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3 Tips for Dealing with a Manipulative Project Co-Worker

Are you stuck working with a project manager who is manipulative and dishonest? If you are, you’re not alone!

Today’s workplace is a cut-throat environment with everyone trying to get ahead in some way, shape, or form. It’s no surprise that there are malicious, sneaky project managers who will do anything to get a leg up to succeed or survive, even if it means throwing you under the bus. Like a clever politician, these project managers keep their desires hidden, but underneath a friendly and charming exterior is a highly destructive individual whose goals are power and control. Pretending to pursue the greater good, he or she adopts the mantra of “company first” with a fervency that inspires admiration and respect, and most people accept his or hers claims of a selfless pursuit of noble causes.

Regardless of your industry, profession, experience level or company, these manipulative people exist and, if given the right opportunity, they can ruin your reputation and career prospects. They’ll tell you that the entire team hates you, thinks you’re arrogant, stupid, or incompetent, and attempt to manipulate you into believing that their opinions are objective facts. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology called it “social undermining” and “bottom line mentality.”

“According to a recent survey,  roughly 90% of folks who read this post are presently working with at least one person who, mentally, would be described as a manipulator”.

Proving yourself in a new organization is hard enough. When someone manipulates and lies about you, it can hurt your relationships, your reputation, and your career. Luckily, Project Journal has 3 tips for effectively dealing with this workplace danger.

1. Don’t Ignore Your Gut
I should’ve seen it coming. Unfortunately, there isn’t a clear-cut answer to the question “Friend or foe.” If you find yourself putting up your guard around a co-worker, you might wonder if you’re imagining things and being paranoid? Well, maybe you are, but under no circumstances should you ignore your feeling. From experience, this is often the very first sign of trouble. Weak leaders sometimes resort to emotional deceit as a weapon for getting things done. Try to consider facts objectively. Manipulation is normally felt, rather than heard or seen, so you must listen to your gut.

What makes you mistrust this person?  Do they constantly gossip? If so, be careful as those who gossip to you, will probably be doing the same about you too and like Mom always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Plus, you don’t want to get caught up in the drama when people find out about this control freak’s gossiping.

Trust that you will be thrown under the bus when “stuff” hits the fan. If you’re still unsure, you should run their behaviour by objective people you trust. As trust is built on the foundations of a good relationship, instead of basing trust on someone’s words, observe their deeds.

2. Dealing with a Bad Apple
There’s a lot to be said for the old saying, “One bad apple can spoil the whole barrel.” Not only is that true for fruit, but it holds a lot of merit in the work environment. Rude behavior is contagious. Toxic manipulative employees have an unhealthy ripple effect that harms co-workers, managers, and subordinates alike. They lack positive personality traits, such as genuine concern for others, a generous and understanding nature, a desire to teach and encourage, a desire to have straightforward dealings with others. They dwell in a very dark place lit only by their own ambition.

“It takes just one malicious employee among the ranks to wreak havoc on your team’s culture.”

Healthy human interactions are not dominated by manipulation. If you feel you can’t trust them, don’t. Manipulators do not communicate openly. Instead, they resort to flattery or play the victim to gain your trust and sympathy. Through artful, indirect and devious methods, they influence and control others and have a fair amount of social support, most likely because no one wants to be on their bad side. But that doesn’t mean their behavior isn’t harmful.

Your priority in this situation must be to protect your professional standing. Begin documenting every instance of destructive behavior and take it to a higher authority. When a co-worker starts manipulating you and ignoring the behavior doesn’t work, distance yourself, if possible and keep all correspondences. When colleagues try to sabotage you, they might tell you lies to cause you to make mistakes. The more you cover yourself, the less you have to worry about. Change your passwords, shut down your computer when you leave your desk, and keep sensitive documents under lock and key. Remember to “choose your words carefully when sending emails so that things you write can’t come back to bite you. Unfortunately, if you lose your cool, you will be in danger of looking undignified.”

“When you know what a man wants you know who he is, and how to move him.”
’- George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

It can be tempting to excuse the antagonistic worker who seems zealous about his job, but clearly, those employees may be undermining the entire workforce. Being direct lets the other person know you’re aware of their manipulative behavior, and in some cases, that may be enough to nip it in the bud.  If you stay out of their world of negativity, you will be a much more difficult target for their manipulation.

3. Counteracting Sabotage
Manipulators are blind to the serious defects in their character, but keenly aware of the slightest weakness or imperfection in others. They are judgmental, suspicious, demanding and calculating, all negative personality characteristics. Even their outward charm is cold and calculated. Before you can deal with the situation, you need to understand the impact.

Is it a small lie with little effect? Is it a big lie that requires damage control or even legal action? Consider how others might view the situation. Although it may be difficult, the best choice might be simply to move on as the people who make it in the long-term are the ones who are honest, hardworking and able to maintain their professionalism.

“According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, workplace sabotage is on the rise in this difficult economy.”

If you choose to directly address the situation. It is critical to use neutral language and tone of voice. Do not stoop to their level, it is important to keep your integrity. Consider having witnesses to your conversation so it’s not your word against theirs.

Your final action can be accepting an apology and moving on, or it can be reporting the lie to a higher authority. In extreme cases, it can be making a formal complaint or hiring an attorney. It’s smart to search for job postings, even when you have no intention to quit. Obviously, you don’t want to let one bad apple lead to your resignation but, if nothing else, knowing you have options can help you feel more empowered and in control of the situation.

Other signs sabotage may be in the works: You don’t receive a promotion or responsibilities you logically should have gotten; cold or averse behavior from management that is (seemingly) out of nowhere; sudden and unexplained alienation by individual co-workers or even entire cliques; or unwarranted and continuous kind behavior from someone that was formerly aloof, ambivalent or even aggressive.

Manipulative behavior is widespread, but fortunately, it doesn’t exist everywhere. Do you have manipulative co-workers? How do you dodge their requests and still manage to pave a successful career path?  Tell us what you think?

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If You Want to Make Enemies, Try to Change Something: 17 Inspiring Change Quotes to Live By

"God supplies everything you need for successful change, and when you make changes with his help, it says changed." - Unknown
If you want to make enemies, try to change something.  Change, no matter what scale it is on, can be a source of stress and anxiety for many. However, it’s common for change management practitioners to view resistance to change as an irrational barrier to progress. Another school of thought is that resistance to change is a social process that can strengthen changes and help to eliminate undesirable change.
The fact remains that change is necessary in all organizations. But, it is the way change is initiated which can so greatly vary. It can be forced upon companies by outside forces or just come from a realization that the company may be falling behind the times. In this way, change management might be quite beneficial to an organization. Organizations that have learned how to transform themselves through effective leadership and strategic control are more likely to survive and prosper. The dilemma is that most people hate change and love it at the same time and what they really want is for things to remain the same but get better.
The good news is that God has a plan for your life to prosper.    If we trust in God and allow the change to grow us to become more like Jesus Christ in how we respond and act, then we are promised that all things will work together for good for those who love Him and keep His commandments!
The following thought-provoking quotes relate to change management including resistance to change, acceptance and change strategy.
  1. “One of the reasons so many celebrities keep going in and out of rehab is that they leave out the critical element to lasting change: God.” – Unknown
  2. “There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.” — Niccolo Machiavelli
  3. “Change has its enemies.” — Robert Kennedy
  4. “He who rejects change is the architect of decay.” — Harold Wilson
  5. “Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.” — Samuel Johnson
  6. “The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.” — Charles Kettering
  7. “God supplies everything you need for successful change, and when you make changes with his help, it says changed.” – Unknown
  8. “It is always easier to talk about change than to make it.” — Alvin Toffler
  9. “It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out nor more doubtful of success nor more dangerous to handle than to initiate a new order of things.” — Machiavelli
  10. “The path of least resistance is the path of the loser.” — H. G. Wells
  11. “When you feel weak in the face of change, God is omnipotent, or all-powerful. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” the Bible says. (Romans 8:31, NIV) Knowing the invincible God is on your side gives you tremendous confidence.” – Unknown
  12. “Paralyze resistance with persistence.” — Woody Hayes
  13. “Culture does not change because we desire to change it. Culture changes when the organization is transformed – the culture reflects the realities of people working together every day.” — Frances Hesselbein
  14. “The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence – it is to act with yesterday’s logic – Peter Drucker
  15. “The rate of change is not going to slow down anytime soon. If anything, competition in most industries will probably speed up even more in the next few decades.” — John P. Kotter
  16. “Your success in life isn’t based on your ability to simply change. It is based on your ability to change faster than your competition, customers, and business.” — Mark Sanborn
  17. “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” — Woodrow Wilson

Don’t make change harder than it has to be. Do it the right way. Ask God for help.

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33 of the Most Inspirational Leadership Quotes for You to Live By

We’ve all seen quotes designed to motivate or inspire us.  Well, according to a new study, people who post these ‘inspirational’ quotes also have lower levels of intelligence. However, Godinterest disagrees, and see’s some quotes as  universal nuggets of wisdom. You know the ones – those quotes that give you “Aha!” moments of inspiration or meaningful insights into  your personal and professional lives.  These are the ones you  want to print out and place on your fridge  so you’ll see them  every day.

This collection of inspirational quotes features some of the all-time classics you may know, as well as some lesser-known  ones  you’ll love too. If  you have any quotes you would have added, feel free to share in the comments section!

  1. “The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable.” – Denis Watley
  2. “Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” – Stephen A. Brennan
  3. “Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.” – Fitzhugh Dodson
  4. “Goals are dreams with deadlines.” – Diana Scharf Hunt
  5. “You must have long-term goals to keep you from being frustrated by short-term failures.” – Charles C. Noble
  6. “Crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination, and disregard for obstacles and other people’s criticisms, carry out your plan.” – Paul Meyer
  7. “The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” – Benjamin Mays
  8. “Progress has little to do with speed, but much to do with direction.” – Unknown
  9. “The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  10. “Goals help focus you on areas in both your personal and professional life that are important and meaningful, rather than being guided by what other people want you to be, do, or accomplish.” – Catherine Pulsifer
  11. “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar
  12. “It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.” – Brian Tracy
  13. “The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
  14. “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Horne, Lena
  15. “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” – William E. Channing
  16. “Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.” – Henry Ford
  17. “It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up again.” – Vince Lombardi
  18. “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” E- Eleanor Roosevelt
  19. “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun
  20. “Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes.” – Kenneth Hildebrand
  21. “People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents.” – Andrew Carnegie
  22. “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer
  23. “The surest way not to fail is to be determined to succeed.”  – Richard B. Sheridan
  24. “A determined person will do more with a pen and paper than a lazy person will accomplish with a personal computer.” – Catherine Pulsifer
  25. “There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox
  26. “It was courage, faith, endurance and a dogged determination to surmount all obstacles that built this bridge.” – John J. Watson
  27. “Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.” – Og Mandino
  28. “You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.” – George Lorimer
  29. “We will either find a way or make one!” – Hannibal
  30. “That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.” – Unknown
  31. “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John Wooden
  32. “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” – William Feather
  33. “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier

 

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How to Cope with a Mis-Sold Job

How to cope with a mis-sold job

Everyone knows a story about a smart and talented professional  who has lost his or her passion for a role, who no longer looks forward to going to the office yet remains stuck without a visible way out.  Getting on the career ladder is a great thing, you start off at the bottom and work your way up, but sometimes you can get stuck and do not even realize it.

“One in Five Employees Claim They Were Mis-sold Opportunities When They Joined Their Organisation – Kelly Global Workforce Index (Kgwi).”

Commenting on the findings,  Debbie Pettingill, Director, Kelly Services UK and Ireland said

“Employee retention will become an increasing challenge for employers as we move out of the recession. As we move into a more candidate driven market, this trend is likely to accelerate. Our findings indicate that this problem is being exacerbated by the misrepresentation of job role or company culture at the interview stage, leading to the dissatisfaction of new hires.”

Most of us know what we are trying to escape a “mis-sold” job  resulting in a  narrowly defined career, inauthentic or unstimulating work, numbing corporate politics, and  perhaps  blackmail including direct  threats of being used as a scapegoat. A job where you are both overlooked and underappreciated.  One may ring true for some of you.

“Fewer than Half of Uk Employees Are Happy with the Way Their Careers Are Progressing According to New British Research.”

Why Would A  Company or Person Block Your Move?

Well, this could be because of his or her personal insecurity  i.e. as the team works well, why rock the boat? Comfort zone: sometimes the team gets too comfortable? Golden child syndrome: you’re working your butt off and your sponsor or other senior  is reaping the recognition from your amazing deliverables?

Working a job you don’t like can leave you feeling stuck, forgotten by God, and asking yourself questions like:

Why hasn’t God opened another door for me yet?  

Why is God not moving?  

Why would God leave me here in this job I hate?

But the truth is God has not left you. He’s not holding back on you. When you feel God is silent, that’s exactly when He’s moving!  Your situation does not change God. He still loves you and is with you no matter what.

Instead of looking at our situation from a perspective of fear and worry, we need to look at it through faith and hope.

What Can You Do About it?

Don’t fret, you can handover your work or completely leave the organisation and still stay sane. You might worry that announcing your intentions will cause your company grief, but ultimately you have to do what’s best for you no matter what!

Think and pray long and hard about how you’re going to drop this bombshell  as you  will need  to give notice. A  sound method is required to overcome the assault and possible backlash – including of course more prayer and fasting.

So how are you going to approach it? What’s your reasoning going to be?  How are you going to get them to understand exactly why you’re doing this?  What do you need to do in order to prepare for the big day?

Easy, you’re going to read this guide.

Strategy 1 – Remote Working Arrangement

This could  be a great approach if 80% of your  work can be  undertaken  remotely. However, while there is a very logical argument to be made in favor of working from home, many people equate remote work to a lack of productivity and laziness. These people do not realize that the switch from an office to working from home can actually lead to significant increases in productivity.

Strategy 2 – What’s in It for Me?

What’s in it for me?   That question sounds a little selfish, doesn’t it?  Maybe you  aren’t being compensated fairly, or you’re not happy with the effort vs return.  When you know your client and team needs you and you’re willing to stay for a price, don’t mess around.  Give them the real number or offer that will make it worth your while to stick it out for awhile.

Strategy 3  –  The Budget Cut

The re-structuring.  The downsizing.  The dreaded budget cut.  Whatever name you want to give it, this  can be terrifying  for a lot of professionals.  However,  if you’re  already thinking about leaving, so maybe it doesn’t have to be such a scary thing.  In fact, maybe it can be  extremely  positive for both  parties.

Strategy 4  –  The Ease Out

Still feeling weary  about leaving the organization.  Propose easing yourself out of the post.  Pick a time frame, maybe four weeks or so, and come up with a plan for slowly taking yourself out of the position.  This also allows you some time to slowly ramp down your time commitment.

Strategy 5 –  Burning Bridges in the Industry  

“Sometimes it’s about networking and being nice to people and not burning any bridges – but remembering to draw line where you must.”

There’s no harm in an early exit from a job you never plan to mention again or an interim role where you have clearly agreed on a start and finish date.  But if your manager is well connected to your industry you should try to leave on a good note.  Why? Because it’s a small world and the next hiring manager may put in a call to his or her former colleague  (a.k.a., your new manager) to get the unofficial scoop.  It happens, so if you’re going to leave anyway then try to fulfill your end of the deal.

Strategy 6  – Get Moving Fast

Imagine, for example, that you were hired to help the company manage multiple programmes and projects  across the globe, but a recent change in leadership means all efforts moving forward will be focused locally.

If you’re spending your days just trying to find ways to be productive or are undertaking a role you never signed up for, you have every right to pursue new opportunities. Of course, the first course of action should normally be to  discuss this with your manager to see if there are other roles you can take on. But if you know that this isn’t going to happen in the new world, get moving fast.

Strategy 7  – Your Dream Job Awaits

“When you’re being interviewed, always treat the interview as a 50-50 thing,” says Andy Dallas, a director at Robert Half International, recruitment consultants. “Ask what you can expect to be doing in your first week, month and three months. Ask what a successful year looks like.”

Dream jobs don’t come every day. So, if you have a chance at yours, take it quickly  and congratulate yourself for being strong enough to leave when you were unhappy.

Strategy 8 – Remeber to Be Patient  

We will not always be in a job we desire. Maybe you are fresh out of school and are working a job that has nothing to do with the degree you just earned. Maybe you are in a situation where you are working at a job where you are overqualified, overworked, and fed up. Maybe, for the most part, you love your job but get discouraged by the mundane tasks that take up time from doing the aspects of your job you love most.    

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” – James 4:10 NIV

Here’s the thing: God will still use this season to grow, develop, and prepare you. Any season that humbles us is preparing us for what God has next.

Any thoughts to share?

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4 Lies about Procurement You Probably Believe

The world of Procurement is seemingly full of impassioned people absolutely certain about what procurement is all about. Like other great lies, many of these half-truths and misleading ideas sound agreeable to the ears and come packaged as good advice from influential people.

How many of these popular lies have you fallen victim to?

1. Procurement should have a seat at the C-table

It’s not so much an outright lie as an irritating half-truth – but the damage comes with what Procurement people do with it. The thought behind this is well-intended: Procurement people should be able to speak the language of senior executives as easily as they can talk about FIDIC or demand forecasting. Terms such as EBITDA, ROIC, and economic profit should be part of their everyday parlance. Procurement issues are often the least understood by the board and the CEO and must be explained in their language.

What on earth could be wrong with that?   Nothing – if the Procurement people have full cognisance of their own tools and language – and can be persuasive to senior people of the value of Procurement.  

Now, that’s where we have, what is kindly referred to, as a skills gap.

In reality, for Procurement with no reputation (outside of that pesky metric of cost) and few business-aligned projects to call upon, it can be incredibly hard to try and catch senior people’s ear – never mind a C-seat (see what I did there?).

2. You must carry out a competitive tender to obtain value for money

I’m trying to distance myself from the public sector here (noting I did co-author the CIPS book on contracting in the public sector) but even in the private sector there’s a desperate need to get three quotes.  

Why three quotes?  

Not five, not 11?   ‘Cos the rules say three; that’s why.  

And the rules of Procurement policy and procedures, well, they can’t be broken because the CFO or the head of internal audit (all very commercial animals?) will be down on Procurement like a ton of bricks.  

When the three quotes are received the following conversation occurs – the highest price is rejected – ‘they’re ripping us off’ followed by – and I love this one about the lowest price quotation – ‘the price is too low, they must have got the specification wrong’ – and the contract is awarded to the middle-priced one”¦.surely there’s a better way to deliver value for money?  

Perhaps starting with actually defining it!

3. Procurement is the only source of governance for 3rd party spend

Being the only source would suggest a 100%, right?  

I’d be amazed – and delighted – if Procurement governed half of all the 3rd party spend.   Words such as ‘influencing’ are sometimes bandied about to shore up this lie. What a surprise that sales people are either trained, or very quickly learn ways, to actually bypass Procurement when selling.

And the reason?

Obviously marketing, IT, auditors fees, construction/property, recruitment (I could go on) is completely different, say the senior people in those departments – echoing the views of the oh so helpful sales people.   And Procurement just never gets near, as they can’t articulate (deliver?) the value they can add.  

I await the avalanche of people commenting on this telling me I’m wrong.   Please be assured you are exceptional in Procurement.    

4. Procurement welcome innovation and strategic relationships and anything other than lower price

Few businesses view Procurement as a strategic process. Most often, Procurement staff report to the CFO. This astonishing trend indicates that Procurement is still viewed as a financial / accounting activity and not an operational strategic activity that directly impacts the bottom line.

Suppliers; if you have an innovative product or service, recognise that Procurement’s ‘raison d’être’ is to deliver cost savings.   That’s what they are measured on, that’s what the research with CPOs and the C-suite say is the #1 priority.   There’s oodles of other priorities such as local sourcing, sustainability, innovation, partnering, risk management – I could go on and on and on.   But that’s the one they get measured on. Think that through, next time you’re pitching.    

The take-away

Perspectives on Procurement need to change, mature and grow up.  Lies like these need to be re-evaluated and abandoned. Procurement needs to change the way they engage and manage suppliers and their internal stakeholders; ‘adding value’ (a dreadful phrase!) means so much more than asking for a discount.

Stephen Ashcroft BEng MSc MCIPS (speaking here, very much in a personal capacity!) is Associate Director, Procurement and Commercial Advisory at AECOM, a Fortune 500 company. He’s a procurement learner stuck in the body of a procurement veteran, and with over 20 years’ experience still sees the glass as half full. Working with leading organisations across diverse industry sectors, Steve helps clients reimagine procurement to drive improved performance. A recognised advisor, speaker, lecturer, and author; the ever-hopeful Kopite shares his bright-eyed/world-weary views on Twitter @ThinkProcure, LinkedIn and his blog.

 

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