While talking to some youth, I realised an important truth – people pleasing is alive and well. From fashion, to language and everything in between, there will always be people who try to squeeze you into their mould; people who try to pressure you into being who they want you to be. They may be good people. They may mean well. But the problem is – they aren’t your creator. They didn’t breathe life into you. They didn’t equip you, empower you or anoint you; Our Almighty God did!
If you’re going to be all that God created you to be, you can’t focus on what everybody else thinks. If you change with every criticism, trying to win the favour of others, then you’ll go through life being manipulated, and letting people squeeze you into their box. You have to realise that you can’t keep every person happy. You can’t make everyone like you. You’ll never win over all of your critics.
Today, instead of trying to please people, when you get up in the morning, ask the Lord to search your heart. Ask Him if your ways are pleasing to Him. Stay focused on your goals. If people don’t understand you, that’s okay. If you lose some friends because you wouldn’t let them control you, they weren’t true friends anyway. You don’t need others’ approval; you only need Almighty God’s approval. Keep your heart and mind submitted to Him, and you will be free from people pleasing!
“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.” (Proverbs 29:25, NLT)
Let’s Pray
Yahweh, I come humbly to You today. I invite You to search my heart and mind. Let my ways be pleasing to You. Father, take away my need for people’s approval. Please let my thoughts be Your thoughts and not the thoughts of a corrupt man. God, thank You for setting me free from people pleasing, in Christ’s Name! Amen.
Your Harvest Will Come
In my front yard I have two large conifer trees. I often wondered how old they are. Have you ever looked at a large, old tree and wondered how long it has been there? It’s hard to believe that, at one point, that gigantic tree was merely a tiny seed.
Everything we do are seeds; and we will always reap a harvest on whatever we sow. Ask yourself what are you sowing into the lives around you? What are you sowing into your future? Are you sowing encouragement, hope, blessing, love? Then that’s what you’ll reap. But if you’ve been sowing criticism, judgement, and anger, you’re probably already reaping a bad harvest. It’s time to start changing your seed.
Today, pray and ask God to help you uproot those negative seeds and start to sow positive seeds for your future. Keep the light of God’s Word shining on your seed by speaking His Word. Allow the refreshing water of His Spirit to pour over you. Keep planting those good seeds of faith, because soon you’ll see growth and enjoy the harvest of blessings God promises.
“Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant” (Galatians 6:7, NLT).
Let’s Pray
Yahweh, thank You for the promise of growth and a great harvest. Father, I choose to guard my heart and plant good seeds for my future. God, please help me, by Your Spirit, to say and do things that honour You and will give me an amazing future. Use me for Your glory. In Christ’s Name! Amen.
The Seeds You Sow Determines The Harvest
Next to my home just outside of London there are two massive conifer trees. I often wonder how old they are, their trunks are bigger than the houses and they are as tall as skyscrapers. Have you ever looked at a large, old tree and wondered how long it has been there? It’s amazing to think that at one point those gigantic conifer trees were merely tiny seeds. In the same way, our words and actions are seeds. Our words may be small, but they grow when they are planted. We will always reap a harvest on what we sow!
Scripture tells us that “we will always harvest what we plant.” Think about the types of seeds you have been sowing. Are you sowing encouragement, hope, blessing, love and grace? Then that’s what you’ll reap in the future. But if you’ve been sowing criticism, judgement and anger, you’re probably already reaping a bad harvest. It’s time to start changing your seed.
Today, I beg you to pray and ask God to help you uproot any negative seeds you may have planted in the past, and begin sowing powerful seeds for your future. As you stay obedient and faithful to the Word of God, you’ll see those seeds grow. You’ll rise up higher and enjoy the harvest of blessing God has promised you.
“Don’t be misled – you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.” (Galatians 6:7, NLT)
Let’s Pray
Yahweh, search my heart today. Father, show me any bad negative seeds that need to be uprooted. Oh God, help me, by Your Spirit, to plant good seeds for my future and in those around me. Use me for Your glory, in Christ’s Name! Amen.
Don’t Let Jealous Folk Stop Your Praise
Across the world, from Japan to the UK, we have experienced major droughts. In the Bible Isaac was in a great drought, but he went out and planted crops right in the middle of the famine. It didn’t make any sense, but somehow in that same year of drought, the Bible says, “Isaac received 100 times what he had sown, because the Lord blessed him.” Hallelujah!
What’s interesting is that when Isaac got blessed, the people around him, the Philistines and his friends, all of a sudden got jealous of him. They were fine as long as he was broke. As long as they were at the same level it was no big deal. But when he stepped up to a new level, when he began to wear his blessings well, the scripture says, “The Philistines hated Isaac.”
Today, you may have noticed, when you start to do better, the people around you don’t celebrate. They become jealous. But you can’t allow the attitudes of others to hold you back and cause you to live in mediocrity. Instead, when you’re blessed, brag on God! Shake off the criticism of others and receive His blessings. Wear it well because when you honour Him, He will continue to increase and promote you all the days of your life!
“Isaac planted crops in that land and the same year reaped a hundredfold, because the Lord blessed him.” (Genesis 26:12, NIV)
Let’s Pray
Yahweh, thank You for every good and perfect gift that You have poured out on my life. Father, in humility, I choose to wear my blessings well. I won’t shrink back at the criticism of others; but instead, I will walk forward with You into the life of blessing You have prepared for me, in Christ’ name! Amen.
Don’t Judge Me
If you know me I can be very critical at times. Just recently I had to learn this valuable lesson, criticism given in the wrong way can make us feel anxious and in some cases, worthless. But when it’s given fairly and constructively, with real care and encouragement, not only does it show us where we’re going wrong, it fires us up to want to improve. So when we’re trying to help someone improve, let’s do it with kindness, understanding and empathy.
If it’s constructive, criticism can be a good thing. If we point out mistakes from a position of love and of wanting the other person to be the best they can be, it’s a useful tool that we can use to help others improve. Otherwise, it can easily turn into a destructive force that discourages and breaks people apart. We tend to find it easy to point out failings and weaknesses in others, while overlooking or excusing our own faults.
Jesus says: ‘How can you say to your friend, “Let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye”? Look at yourself! You still have that big piece of wood in your own eye. You hypocrite!’ (Matthew 7:4-5 NCV). Strong words, so we definitely need to take notice and avoid being unfair and judging others more harshly than we judge ourselves. Sometimes we might be overly critical to try and make ourselves look or feel better. Or we might be trying to hide the wounds of past experiences by using anger and criticism as a form of defence.
Today, whatever the reason, Jesus gives us clear instructions, ‘Do not judge, or you too will be judged.’ When God looks at us and sees our faults and all the mistakes we make, He treats us with grace and gently corrects us. But what if God criticised us as harshly and as often as we criticise others? We’d soon feel completely depressed and wounded. The truth is, God, who has the highest standards of all, treats us with love and care even when we fail to live up to those standards. So when we need to correct someone, let’s do the same, and aim to encourage, not discourage.
Do not judge, or you too will be judged.’ MATTHEW 7:1 NIV
Lets’s Pray
Yahweh, I thank You for this timely advice not to judge others. I surrender my negative critical mind to You. Please Father, change me so I won’t be judgemental and hypocritical. God, help me to look at myself first before looking at others. Show me how to be constructive and encouraging when I have to criticise, and never to be discouraging and cause depression and discontent, in Christ’s Name! Amen.
What Is a Christian to Do About Criticism?
“Everything we do either propels God’s mission forward or hinders the embodiment of His kingdom on earth as it is in Heaven.” – Jeff Christopherson, Vice President of Send Network
Christopherson is right on point. All too often, we fail to see that everything we do impacts the kingdom of heaven on earth.
Since we are the only representatives of that kingdom, every believer must come to the point where we learn to confront ourselves with every word we speak and every action we take–before we say or do them.
The failure of some of us to weigh our actions is a shortcut to behaving like the ungodly whose lives are characterized by contentions and dissensions (see Galatians 5:19—21). In short, there is no room in a Christian’s life for creating strife, friction and discord–especially between and among professing believers.
Recognizing the Danger of a Critical Spirit
Contention usually begins with a critical spirit and exhibits itself as criticism. Whilst conceding that criticism can be constructive or destructive, for the most part, constructive criticism is usually shared privately in the spirit of Galatians 6:1—2 and Matthew 18:15.
It is public criticism that is most destructive. It is also infectious, leveling accusations and condemnations and drawing bystanders into one of Satan’s most subtle schemes in his quest to overthrow the kingdom of heaven.
Jude warns us in his epistle that “certain men have crept in [among believers] unnoticed.” They are of several different kinds: those who have gone the way of Cain, those who have gone the way of Balaam, and those who have gone the way of Korah.
Korah was a critic of Moses. Korah is the poster boy for critics. It is interesting that his story unfolds in Numbers chapter 16, but is so important for us today that Jude wrote a stern warning for the church to beware of being critical.
Criticism assumes that the purveyor knows better than the target of the criticism. That was Korah’s problem. He thought he know how to run the “Wilderness Operation” better than Moses. He really got upset when Moses did not divide a gift of wagons equally among the clans who carried the tabernacle. Korah was of the Kohathites; his clan didn’t get any wagons (see Numbers 7:9).
Read Numbers 4 where the Lord gave Moses specific instructions to follow.
Korah thought Moses was wrong. He complained to his family, to his neighbors and friends, and stirred them to the point of rebellion. As Dr. K.P. Yohannan points out in his booklet “The Beauty of Christ through Brokenness,” “God Himself ripped open the earth and swallowed him up.” In fact, it swallowed up Korah and all who joined in with his critique of Moses, including their wives and children (see Numbers 16:32).
Recognizing Criticism for What It Is
Pastor Ronald Franklin describes all criticism as falling into one of three categories. And he warns us to expect to be criticized. That’s right. We are not going to make it through life without being criticized. So we need to understand the kinds of criticism we may face and understand how to respond in a Christ-like manner that advances the kingdom of heaven.
– Accurate Criticism.
This is valid criticism that may or may not be 100 percent correct. When we know that criticism is substantially correct we should consider it as an opportunity to make needed corrections (see Proverbs 15:31—32.)
– Inaccurate Criticism.
This is criticism that is “essentially incorrect,” but may include a kernel of truth. This type of criticism may allow us an opportunity to teach what the critic does not have correct (see Acts 11:2—4.)
– Malicious Criticism.
This is criticism that is motivated by some personal agenda on the part of the critic. When we’re faced with this type of criticism, it presents an opportunity to minister grace, which advances the kingdom of heaven as Christ intends for us to do (see Matthew 5:44—45.) It is particularly interesting that this is when grace is true ministry on behalf of advancing the kingdom of Heaven.
Social media has opened up a whole new world for criticism–and the world loves it. Even some news media has drifted away from objective reporting to various formats for criticism.
For that reason, Christians must exercise a discerning spirit to not only recognize unwarranted criticism but also to understand the kind of critical spirit from whence those critical comments originate. A discerning spirit can recognize a critical spirit.
Recognizing a Critical Spirit
“”¦true and loving. It comes from a humble, caring heart that wishes the best for the other person. It is not bitter condescending, insulting, or cold-hearted.
“There is a significant difference between helping someone improve and having a critical spirit. A critical spirit is never pleased. A critical spirit expects and finds disappointment wherever it looks. It is the opposite of 1 Corinthians 13: a critical spirit arrogantly judges, is easily provoked, accounts for every wrong, and never carries any hope of being pleased. Such an attitude damages the critiqued as well as the critic.
“Biblical criticism is helpful, loving, and based on truth. Correction is to be gentle. It comes from love, not from a sour personality. Galatians 5:22—23 says the Spirit wants to produce in us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If criticism cannot be expressed in keeping with the fruit of the Spirit, it’s better left unsaid.”
The right place to stop criticism is at the source. If we are not walking in the Spirit, we will follow the flesh. As we have already seen, the flesh is the headquarters for critical spirits.
Ed Stetzer identifies three types of critical spirits:
– The Constant Critic.
You know who they are. They are always complaining about something, always pointing out things that are “not right.”
– The Low-character Critic.
Stetzer says, “I am stunned to see just how much some ‘Christian’ bloggers, in particular, will lie, play guilt by association, and display a complete lack of character–all while calling out someone for something similar. The blogosphere may be their sandbox, but they can be found just about anywhere on the playground.
– The Opportunistic Critic.
These are people who are always looking for a new issue to expose or debate. Stetzer’s advice? See them for who they are.
None of us is or ever will be exempt from criticism. Not a single individual or institution will go uncriticized by someone at some time. Gospel for Asia (GFA) is nearing its 40th year of ministry. Although we have been and continue to be blessed abundantly, we have also experienced criticism. Some of it has been dispensed with love and kindness. Some other, not so much. Our commitment is to honor the Lord in all we do with a sincere desire to please Him.
Let us consider our need for brokenness so we do not become critical spirits nor respond inappropriately to them. Let us remember we are accountable to the righteous scrutiny of a holy God. Let us live our lives in that light and help others to do so as well.
May God help us to not have a critical spirit. May He grant us the wisdom to recognize the different types of critics and criticism for who and what they are. Even more so, may He direct our paths is such a way that we respond in a way that advances the kingdom of heaven.
– ~ – ~ – ~ – ~ –
Sources:
- The Paired Life, Bible Principles for Dealing with Criticism
- Got Questions, What does the Bible say about Criticism?
- Christianity Today, How a Christian Should Critique Criticism
- The Christian Post, What Is The Christian Way To Respond To Criticism
- Christianity Today, The Myth of Missionary Neutrality
Image Source:
- Alpha Stock Images [CC BY-SA 3.0]
6 Reasons Why Humility Is Necessary in the Lord’s Work
Make no mistake about it, there is no greater joy than working in the Lord’s service. Nor is there a calling in which we will receive more criticism, resistance and opposition–even more so than being an appointee to the United States Supreme Court!
1. To set aside our personal desires requires humility.
Romans chapter 12 begins with the Apostle Paul urging believers to present ourselves as living sacrifices acceptable to God.
2. To set aside the world system’s potential path to success requires humility.
Paul follows his plea with another one to not be conformed to this world system. The world system is all about how to become successful, and then how to become even more successful. It is a system built upon networking, self-marketing and public recognition. It is a system based on self and pride.
3. It takes humility to see ourselves as we are and to realize that we are no better than anyone else aside from grace.
In verse 3, Paul admonishes us to not think of ourselves more highly than we ought to. In other words, we must remember that our redemption is only by God’s grace. Believers must function together, understanding that we carry the message of God’s grace to those who have not heard it, to those who stand in need of it, just as we did and as we continue to do.
Our work is doomed to failure unless and until we approach it with the humble spirit of a servant who is willing to deny oneself before taking up our cross to follow Christ.
But then, we have only just begun. To live a life honoring to Christ, we must continue to deny ourselves daily, or, as Paul told the Corinthians, it is necessary to do so daily (see 1 Corinthians 15:31). Humility is necessary to commence the journey, but it is also necessary to continue the journey.
4. Humility is necessary because we will face criticism.
It’s not that we might face criticism. We will face criticism. It is part of our fallen nature to criticize the work of others. Jesus was certainly not immune from criticism. The Gospels are replete with accounts of the scribes, the Pharisees and the Sadducees criticizing nearly everything the Son of God did or said.
They had to be as annoying as gnats. Yet Jesus, who had “made Himself of no reputation . . . and humbled Himself,” (see Philippians 2:7—8), always received the criticism humbly. If He responded, He did so with love and compassion for men who were wrapped in self-righteousness and pride while claiming to represent Jehovah.
The rise of technology and especially social media has opened Christian ministries to seemingly relentless criticism. No ministry is exempt. Social media and the blogosphere have opened a space in which criticism thrives. It doesn’t take very long to examine the internet to find that everyone from Franklin Graham to Francis Chan and every ministry from Gospel for Asia to World Vision is being publicly vilified by someone who is either outwardly opposed to the Gospel or a techno-scribe equipped with cyber tools first-century scribes never dreamed would exist.
5. Humility is necessary because we will face resistance.
Resistance is a more active form of criticism. Resistance is criticism in action. Have you noticed that the Lord’s work requires persistence? The pushback, especially in this age of social media, requires a relentless focus on keeping our hand on the plow.
Having left our agrarian past behind, we forget that the ground must be readied for the seeds to be sown effectively. In a perfect world (I wonder what Eden was like), the soil would open up just enough to accept the seed. But in our fallen world, the ground resists the plow.
The same principle applies in the spiritual realm. Every part of this world resists the sowing of the Word. To enter into ministry and the service of the Lord, we must understand that this world is no friend to grace. Nor will it ever be.
6. Humility is necessary because we will face opposition.
If resistance is pushback, then opposition is attack mode.
There are places around the world today where simply being a Christian means being exposed to potential physical abuse. Congregations watch as their churches and meeting places are destroyed. Individual believers are victims of beatings, rapes, torture and murder.
Living and working for the Lord in these areas of opposition requires a humility that means accepting the sacrifice of one’s own life as a possibility. But this faith, a faith that considers the existential consequences, is a faith that enables and endures even in lions’ dens and fiery furnaces.
Serving the Lord has always required a humility that willingly sacrifices self as our reasonable service for the One who humbled and sacrificed Himself to save us from the penalty of our sins to bring us into the marvelous riches of His grace.
Do you have the heart to serve Jesus Christ? Are you willing to stand for Him in the face of criticism, resistance and opposition? Perhaps you would consider learning more about us and learning how the Lord can use you through the work of GFA.
Image Source: Gospel for Asia, Photo of the Day
Politics and Project Management, a Lesson in Leadership
We all know that the more power you have, the better you are able to get the job completed. The problem is most project managers have lots of responsibility, but hardly any authority and since most projects exist outside core business structures, they are forced to develop other methods of influence.
One unspoken evil that is often ignored on project management training courses is the politics of project management. While most of us view politics with disgust; there is no refuting that effective project managers are often seen as those who are equipped and able to employ fitting political strategies to further their project goals.
“In a Perfect World the Best Workers Would Be Promoted on Merit Alone and the Best Ideas Would Be Adopted Regardless of Personal Interest – but We Do Not Live in Utopia”
Have you ever included ‘office politics’ as a risk on your risk register? Probably not. Though, consider the potential implications of ignoring the ugly stepchild of project management?
“The Objective of Office Politics Is to Manipulate a Situation in Order to Achieve an Outcome That Will Benefit One Individual or Group at the Expense of Other Individuals or Groups.”
While it is unlikely that ‘office politics’ would be listed directly as a risk on your risk register, it is quite likely that one or more of the outcomes of it would. As a result, if you want to survive and prosper in the real world you need to combine good work with smart politics to ensure your own success and that of your projects. The biggest mistake a project manager can make is to assume that politics in project management doesn’t exist. After all, politics is human nature and has played an integral part in history since the dawn of civilization.
In a group where working interactions are fraught with tension and individuals have their own personal agendas or want to be “top dog” personal conflicts will often get in the way of the project aims. Issues between members of the team become the over-riding concern both for the individuals afraid and sometimes even the project manager. Meetings can consist of jostling for power or simply trying to justify your position and when that happens progress on the project will undoubtedly suffer.
For most project managers, playing politics is a form of slow, soul-destroying torture where logic, self-control, transparency and trustworthiness are replaced by deception, concealment, and sabotage. However, ignoring the external and internal politics surrounding your project or organization is dangerous. Successful project managers need to understand organizational politics and how to make them work for project success.
In the case of project politics you can use these key techniques in a constructive manner:
Carefully Manage Your Own Conduct
- The first rule is to at all times act in a way that commands respect and beyond that, respect others. That means not gossiping, spreading rumors or getting sucked into interpersonal conflicts and arguments. Maintain your honesty!
- Be positive as a positive outlook is a choice that you can always make and remain professional.
- Be confident and firm but not hostile and make sure you take organizational perspectives, not a personal one when voicing objections or giving criticism.
- Always assume things will be disclosed, so don’t rely on confidentiality.
- Over time you will learn what works in your organization’s culture and what doesn’t. Try to watch other people and identify successful behaviors that you can model to navigate the political minefield.
Review the Organization Chart
- Sit back and watch for a while. Identify the real influencers, those who are respected, champions, those who have authority but don’t use it, the mentors and last but not least the true brains behind the organization. Then re-map the organization chart in terms of political influence as politics will often bypass the formal organization chart.
Understand the Social Network
- Once you know who’s who in the organization, you have to understand the social networks. This involves identifying who gets along with whom, groups or cliques that have formed and ongoing interpersonal conflicts. Over time you will learn who has the most trouble getting along with others and the basis for the interrelationship whether it be friendship, respect or manipulation, including how the influence flows between all parties.
Build Good Relationships
- Now you need to build multiple networks but avoid aligning yourself with one group or another this way you can keep your finger on the pulse of the organization.
- Don’t be afraid of politically powerful people and instead, develop relationships that cross the formal hierarchy in all directions.
- Build your relationships on trust and respect and avoid empty flattery.
Use Your Social Network
- You will need to learn to use your social network to stay clear of negative politics. You can do this through positive political action.
- Use your network to gain access to information, build visibility of your achievements and improve difficult relationships.
- Attract opportunities where you can shine and seek out ways to make yourself, your team and your boss look good.
Counteract Negative Play
“The Expression, Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer” Couldn’t Be Any Truer When It Comes to Office Politics.”
- Your mapping of the organization will help you to identify those people who use others for their own political purposes, and not for the common good. Know that these people typically have low self-worth (that’s why they rely on destructive politicking to get ahead). Always be very careful what you say to them. Understand what motivates them, their goals, and how to avoid or counter the impact of their politics
- Remember loyalty is not a reliable factor in the workplace!
“It is easy to become a target if you’re ambitious or if you strive for change. One of the biggest mistakes we make in our career is to assume that everyone likes progress. This is not true’Å —’Å many are content with the status quo and will defend it with their life.”
Projects are rarely easy and office politics can compound other sorts of problems that arise so they need to be dealt with swiftly and firmly.
