Championing Women Is about Restoration, Not Progression

Championing women is about restoration, not progression

“If there ever comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never known.”  – Matthew Arnold, poet and cultural critic, 1822-1888.

Growing up, I loved strong female characters. As a child bookworm, I started with the adventures of Lucy Pevensie from C.S. Lewis’  The Chronicles of Narnia, then graduated to some of the classics. I loved the wit of Elizabeth Bennet, the integrity of Jane Eyre and the willpower of Scarlett O’Hara – to name a few recognisable examples.

I confess that as a twenty-something, my love of strong fictional heroines hasn’t waned in the slightest. My inner child was ridiculously excited about the  Wonder Woman  movie last year.

Appreciating strong fictional characters is fairly universal, and we only need to count all the superhero movies over the past few decades to note that humanity has an intrinsic love of heroism.

Last week marked International Women’s Day and whilst I have numerous concerns about feminism, IWD is still an opportunity to honour women, and to talk about some of the issues it seeks to raise.

On International Women’s Day I found myself listening to church leaders as they spoke about God’s heart for women. Amongst all the wonderful insight they shared with the group was this fundamental reminder: There is a war against women, and it’s a spiritual one, going right back to the enemy’s temptation of Eve in Genesis. After the Fall, the Lord told Satan, “And  I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”  (Genesis 3:15).

Lisa Bevere writes in her book  Girls with Swords:  “Enmity is deep-rooted hatred and irreconcilable hostility. This describes a breach so profound that with each passing generation, Satan’s hostility and hatred deepens as he runs out of time and the urgency increases. Never has his attack against women and children been more wicked, obvious, and widespread.”

A mere glance at the list of evils facing women today around the world – human trafficking, pornography, abuse, gendercide, FGM, oppressive religious systems – will demonstrate that the enemy certainly has a vendetta against women. This doesn’t excuse humanity’s part to play – those who have oppressed, silenced, exploited and demeaned women. But at its root, this is a battle that goes much deeper, and man is not the enemy.

We are not called to partake in the ‘progressive’ movement, which is only driving divisions between men and women deeper still. We are not merely to condemn or mock the culture either. Both of these tactics are worldly and destructive.

The good news is that the cross redeems us from the curse of the Fall. As Christ’s Kingdom ambassadors, we are called to redeem and restore what has been tarnished and destroyed. Our mandate is to co-labour with God in restoring all things to His original design. To the one who thinks like the world, this seems counter-intuitive, backwards or regressive. To the one who is kingdom-minded, it is true progress.

Some of the injustices that need addressing are obvious and have already been mentioned. Others are more subtle and start ‘closer to home’.

Much has been said of how men should treat women – and rightly so. But less is said about the power women already have to instigate change in whatever sphere of influence they are in. I think the popularity of the fictional females I loved growing up is largely down to how they responded to adversity, not how they felt about it.

Whether or not you feel as though you’ve had to fight for your place, it doesn’t define your worth. In the Kingdom of God, you already have a place at the table, and there’s more than enough for everyone. Knowing this gives us permission to celebrate ourselves and one another. There’s no need for insecurity when God says you are enough; no need for jealousy and comparison when God has enough for you.

So let’s lift other women up, amplifying one another’s voices instead of muting them. Romans 12:10 (ESV) says ‘Outdo one another in showing honour’ – if we’re going to compete with one another in anything, let it be in this.

Much of the answer to winning the war on women lies in becoming less ‘me-centred’  (my  rights,  my  convenience,  my  choice,  my  happiness), and more other-centered. To do the right thing when it’s hard, inconvenient and costs something. That’s not what we’d prefer to hear. We want easy fixes, comfort and ease. But that’s not the gospel. That’s not the way of the cross.

Bevere continues in Girls With Swords:  ‘Heroes tend to champion causes rather than themselves. Being motivated by something outside themselves drives them to risk being more daring, compassionate, willing, responsible, and courageous.’

Movies that depict true heroism are popular for a reason.  Wonder Woman was by no means perfect, but I think it  resonated with so many because it appealed to something in us that aspires to these key traits of courage and selflessness. The movie celebrated men and women working together – Wonder Woman respected, befriended and loved men, even as she raised her voice in objection to the injustices and cynicism she encountered. Wonder Woman wasn’t screaming ‘down with the patriarchy’. She championed everyone around her whether or not they ‘deserved’ it.

Wonder Woman  also seemed to kickstart a trend of displaying the power of female unity through its depiction of the Amazons, who reappeared in  Justice League. It’s nice to see this trend continue in  Black Panther  with the Dora Milaje warriors – both ‘armies’ defend not only themselves but  mankind. I love it when filmmakers unintentionally convey the heart of God and I hope to see more of this in future.

But more importantly, I hope that we move beyond the fantasy of film and work towards making these values manifest.

If you gain nothing else from this post, remember this: Change starts with you.

Have We Created a Monster? – On #MeToo, FiftyShades and more

Have We Created a Monster? - On #MeToo, FiftyShades and more

Last month, every time I turned on the TV or read the news on the internet, there was some new sexual abuse or harassment scandal being plastered on my screen.

Last year it was the Church of England. Then it was Hollywood. Then it was the Olympics gymnast doctor scandal. Then it was #MeToo. Then it was that Aziz Ansari story. Then it was the President’s Club.

The scale of this uncovering has been huge.

I’m all for evil being exposed because that’s the only way to be rid of it. But some of these incidents are not all that clear-cut. When lines get blurred, the real evils and injustices become harder to tackle. Worse, we end up preoccupied with the symptoms of a broken system, instead of tackling the root.

Abuse or regret?  

Let’s take the Aziz Ansari story, to start with. If you don’t know what this is about, a young woman, ‘Grace’, came forward last month, as part of the #MeToo campaign, to tell her story about her date-gone-wrong with actor and comedian Aziz Ansari.

There’s no denying the unpleasantness of this story, but if you can detach yourself for a moment from the narrator’s emotional experience, the facts remain: ‘Grace’ went to Ansari’s apartment willingly enough and, despite feeling uncomfortable, performed sexual acts on him. When she texted him the next day to tell him how she felt, he apologized. He hadn’t understood her non-verbal cues.

Whilst unpleasant and uncomfortable, this account  does not  constitute sexual assault. In the article, ‘Grace’ says she felt pressured to do things she didn’t want to do. But Grace was  not  forced against her will. She could have said ‘no’, walked away, or even better, refused to go back to his apartment after a hurried first date that she didn’t seem to enjoy.

Stories like this complicate the whole #MeToo campaign with some blurry definitions as to what constitutes assault or abuse, and what does not.

‘Grace’ shouldn’t feel responsible for Ansari’s behavior.  But where’s the acknowledgment of her own error of judgment? There’s probably more nuance to this, but I think it has more to do with why women feel like they need to have sex with someone they’ve just met than it does about the definition of consent.

We condemn and promote the same thing

But what bothers me more is that the very culture that condemns sexual assault promotes a morality that leaves people wide open to abuse.

Why is there so much outcry about #MeToo but very little about pornography, for example? Porn  harms everybody involved: The actors, the consumer and those close to the consumer (and there are a lot  of consumers. According to the Huffington Post, porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined  each month). Porn fuels the demand for sex trafficking, one of the most extreme forms of sexual abuse out there. Why isn’t this being taken seriously? Why isn’t more being done to educate young, impressionable teens about the risks attached to porn use?

Unhealthy, hyper-sexualized relationships are not always presented overtly – sometimes they’re packaged attractively with seductive advertising and slick soundtracks.  Fifty Shades of Grey  is a timely example. Despite the increasing number of people who have called out  Fifty Shades  for what it is – a ridiculous saga normalizing an abusive and controlling relationship – it continues to be advertised as your ultimate Valentine’s date night.

But the problem lies deeper still. It’s not just the glorification of abusive relationships in the media. It’s about the way society views sex and relationships altogether.

If a rom-com doesn’t depict the protagonists jumping into bed almost immediately, is it even a rom-com? Even  Friends  can’t go without joking about casual sex or porn multiple times per episode.

The music industry is no better. Until the media stops selling music using half-naked women and basically-soft-porn music videos, it needs to shut up about female empowerment. You’re not powerful if you have to take off your clothes and sing about sex to make people buy your music.

This is nothing new

Seems bleak right? Well, it’s probably helpful at this point to take a step back and recognize that what we’re seeing is nothing new. Sexual norms in Greco-Roman society were even more permissive than they are today. If you were the master of the house, pederasty (sleeping with your boy slave) was considered A-OK. Fidelity in marriage was looked down upon and your typical Greco-Roman home would be adorned with every-day items covered in pornographic images.

The introduction of Christianity would have been an affront to everything that Greco-Roman culture stood for. Today, as we’ve drifted further and further away from the pattern of sex and relationships that God had in mind for us, we see much of the same.

The progressive ideology that led to the liberalization of sexual norms is the very same one that has created an environment where sexual misconduct can run rife.

Our culture is desperately confused. We think more ‘progression’ is the solution but instead we’ve regressed into a situation where sex is cheap; both glorified and debased.

I hope that by recognizing the correlation between what society promotes, and its outworkings, we can all be a little smarter about what we consume and which narratives we buy into.

 

As seen on