Don’t Be Afraid No More

How to Deal with Chronic Fear and Anxiety

In these uncertain times, it’s easy to feel afraid. Maybe you are afraid at this very moment. What has made you afraid? The pandemic, your unemployment, or maybe you’re overwhelmed by what God has called you to do? Maybe you were pursuing a dream or goal, and things didn’t turn out the way you planned. 

In the New Testament of the Bible, Joseph had planned to take Mary as his wife, but when he found out she was pregnant, he didn’t know what to think. He was afraid that he might be making a mistake because things didn’t turn out the way he planned. But God sent an angel in a dream to reassure Joseph that he was on the right path. 

Today, be reassured God knows right where you are, and He knows how to get you where you need to be. Even when things don’t go the way you planned; His hand is on you. Do not be afraid. Trust that God is working things out on your behalf, and He will lead you into the life of blessing that He has prepared for you. So don’t be afraid.

“…an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. ‘Joseph, son of David,’ the angel said, ‘do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit.’” (Matthew 1:20, NLT)

Let’s Pray 

Yahweh, I have decided to trust You because You have never failed. Father, even when things don’t go the way I’ve planned, I know that You are at work in my life every moment of every day. God, thank You for taking away my fear, now I will move forward in the plans You have for me, in Christ’s Name! Amen.

Mum Shocked After One Twin is Born with Albinism: Real Life Story

Albinism is the “congenital absence of any pigmentation or coloration in a person, animal or plant, resulting in white hair, feathers, scales and skin and pink eyes in mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians and fish and other small invertebrates as well.” Varied use and interpretation of the terms mean that written reports of albinistic animals can be difficult to verify.

For ages, Judith had a feeling that she would struggle to become pregnant. There wasn’t a medical explanation for this — it was simply a niggling fear.

She and her husband struggled to believe they would ever become parents after years went by without her becoming pregnant. “I found myself getting anxious and desperate,” Judith first wrote on Love What Matters.

“The fear remained no matter how hard I tried to stay positive. However, Eight years down the line, my husband and I decided to go for our second round of IVF. The first of which failed, as well as other various procedures and fertility treatments. Every ultrasound visit after that was horror”

Judith

The couple could hardly contain their joy when that second round of IVF proved successful.

Judith was carrying twins — a boy, Kamis, and a girl, Kachi.

It felt remarkable that after all these years, their aspirations and dreams of a family were about to be real.

However, mum’s joy quickly turned to horror as doctors broke the news that Kachi was “at risk and might not make it”. “Every ultrasound visit after that was a nightmare as Kachi was far behind in growth whiles Kamsi did great.

“Finally, at 37 weeks, I had to be induced immediately because I was told that Kachi had stopped growing..” After the birth Nurses let Judith hold her daughter briefly before she was whisked to the NICU.

“The first time I saw her, I wondered if the nurse was handing me my baby, or someone else’s,” Judith said. “I waited a few seconds for someone to tell me there was a mix-up?” “Soon the joy of seeing them both healthy surpassed any other feeling at that instant.”

“How did I get black and white twins?”

Several days later Judith and her husband were told that their baby girl had albinism.

“I loved my princess like every mother would love her baby but worried about her condition,” Judith said.

“I worried about her future, how society would treat her, how she’ll be accepted.

“Gradually, worry turned to sadness and I started questioning “I envied other black babies and thought, ‘Why me? Why was I the one to have an albino baby?’

“How did I get black and white twins?”

“I threw the braille sheets in the garbage” 

Unfortunately, medical professionals were quick to affirm Judith’s worst fears and told her that Kachi would struggle to see and would likely need to learn to read braille. 

“I couldn’t imagine Kachi reading with braille and threw the braille sheets in the garbage.” She said

“She’s so smart and has a strong personality. She knows what she wants and will always go for it.
“I always tell her how beautiful she is, because she really is. 

“I’m not sure she`s aware of her uniqueness at the moment, but eventually she’ll know.”

“It’s my responsibility to educate her and teach her to love herself no matter what.

Albinism

Albinism affects the production of melanin, the pigment that colours skin, hair and eyes. It’s a lifelong condition, but it doesn’t get worse over time.

People with albinism have a reduced amount of melanin, or no melanin at all. This can affect their colouring and their eyesight.

Albinism is caused by faulty genes that a child inherits from their parents.

Symptoms of albinism

Hair and skin colour

People with albinism often have white or very light blonde hair, although some have brown or ginger hair. The exact colour depends on how much melanin their body produces.

Very pale skin that burns easily in the sun and doesn’t usually tan is also typical of albinism.

Picture of a young girl with albinism

Eye colour

Someone with albinism can have pale blue, grey or brown eyes. Eye colour depends on the type of albinism and the amount of melanin. People from ethnic groups with darker pigmentation tend to have darker coloured eyes.

Eye problems

The reduced amount of melanin can also cause other eye problems. This is because melanin is involved in the development of the retina, the thin layer of cells at the back of the eye.

Possible eye problems linked to albinism include:

  • poor eyesight — either short-sightedness or long-sightedness, and low vision (sight loss that can’t be corrected)
  • astigmatism — where the cornea (clear layer at the front of the eye) isn’t perfectly curved or the lens is an abnormal shape, causing blurred vision
  • photophobia — where the eyes are sensitive to light
  • nystagmus — where the eyes move involuntarily from side to side, causing reduced vision; you don’t see the world as “wobbling” because your brain adapts to your eye movement
  • squint — where the eyes point in different directions

Some young children with albinism may appear clumsy because problems with their eyesight can make it difficult for them to perform certain movements, such as picking up an object. This should improve as they get older.

How albinism is inherited

The two main types of albinism are:

  • oculocutaneous albinism (OCA) — the most common type, affecting the skin, hair and eyes
  • ocular albinism (OA) — a rarer type that mainly affects the eyes

Autosomal recessive inheritance

In most cases, including all types of OCA and some types of OA, albinism is passed on in an autosomal recessive inheritance pattern. This means a child has to inherit two copies of the faulty gene (one from each parent) to have the condition.

If both parents carry the gene, there’s a 1 in 4 chance that their child will have albinism and a 1 in 2 chance that their child will be a carrier. Carriers don’t have albinism but can pass on the faulty gene.

X-linked inheritance

Some types of OA are passed on in an X-linked inheritance pattern. This pattern affects boys and girls differently: girls who inherit the faulty gene become carriers and boys who inherit the faulty gene will get albinism.

When a mother is a carrier of an X-linked type of albinism, each of her daughters has a 1 in 2 chance of becoming a carrier and each of her sons has a 1 in 2 chance of having albinism.

When a father has an X-linked type of albinism, his daughters will become carriers, and his sons won’t have albinism and won’t be carriers.

Read more about how mutations are passed on.

Genetic counselling

If you have a history of albinism in your family or you have a child with the condition, you may want to talk to your GP about getting a referral for genetic counselling.

A genetic counsellor provides information, support and advice about genetic conditions. For example, you can discuss with them how you inherited albinism and the chances of passing it on.

Read more about genetic testing and counselling.

Diagnosing albinism

Albinism is usually obvious from a baby’s appearance when they’re born. Your baby’s hair, skin and eyes may be examined to look for signs of missing pigment.

As albinism can cause a number of eye problems, your baby may be referred to an eye specialist (ophthalmologist) for tests to check for conditions such as nystagmus, squint and astigmatism.

Electrodiagnostic testing is also sometimes used to help diagnose albinism. This is where small electrodes are stuck to the scalp to test the connections of the eyes to the part of the brain that controls vision.

Miscarriages: Do We Really Mourn With Those Who Mourn?

Unless you have lost a child, you can never really sympathize with a woman who has suffered a miscarriage. It is a different kind of pain that a parent carries with them on a daily basis until they are able to reach some sort of acceptance or peace about it. Or perhaps we want to believe that they have either accepted the loss or gained peace because we do not want to ‘deal’ with that person. I do not believe that we do it out of selfishness- the reason is more complicated than that. How do you co-mourn when you did not ever meet the child? How do you offer up empty words of comfort when you know that the parent will not want to hear them? Who wants to hear: “Don’t worry, it’s all in GOD’S hands”, or “You will have another one, just have faith”, or even “Pray and ask GOD for strength”.

It has been nearly 34 years since the death of my brother, and I know that my mother has never truly fully healed from that. Jonathan was her first child and she carried him to term, but when he was taken out of her womb, he was stillborn. He may not have been a miscarriage, but he was still a life that was taken away before he got the chance to live. However many months you have carried that child in your womb, that connection is there. Whether you wanted that baby or not, that connection remains. So when you lose that child, a part of you seems to die with that child. Yes, you continue on with your life- you return to work, you eventually have more children (in some cases) and you raise them with all the love that you can give. However, you are not going to forget about that lost child. Every now and then, you wonder about the child, what they could have become, what their personality would have been like, who they would have resembled more. You dream of what could have been and, in some way, you even blame yourself for their death.

A mother’s womb is meant to be a place of security, but instead of producing life, it became a place of death. Perhaps you feel that you have failed as a woman, a wife, and a mother. The emotions that you go through are deep and painful, far deeper than we can ever imagine. Your thoughts are a place of darkness and woe. What can we, as the outsiders, really say to bring comfort?

As Believers, we are meant to rejoice with those who rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn. The truth is, we have become so wrapped up in our own worlds that we struggle to find the words to say, or just how to be around a parent who has just suffered a miscarriage. Many of us feel uncomfortable and awkward- do we pat your back in an effort to offer some physical comfort without ‘overstepping’? Do we quote scripture in an effort to explain away the tragedy and possibly downplay the pain that you are going through? Should we bring ready-made meals to lessen your worries? The question is, do these actions and words show you that we are really mourning with you? Some people will pretend that it didn’t happen, others will avoid you like the plague, worried that you are going to break down in front of them and embarrass them in public (it’s true). Others simply cannot handle seeing that amount of pain in others and will run, while others are simply insensitive and will offer up the same old useless words.

What can we do? What should we say? Can we hug you and let you lean on us when you’re weak? Can we cry with you, for your baby, the little being that we did not get to meet? Can we sit with you and listen as you tell us of your pain, your anger, and possibly the guilt that you feel? Will you provide us with your child’s name so that we may acknowledge his/her individuality? Can we sit with you in your silence, offering our presence as comfort? When ‘sorry’ will just not do, what can we say? We could never profess to understand your pain, it would be an injustice to pretend as though that life didn’t exist, and it would be insensitive to assume that you can ever replace your lost child with another one.

To every parent that has miscarried: at times we outsiders find it difficult to express our sadness for your loss. I personally mourn for every child lost, whether through miscarriage, abortion or other causes. While I cannot understand your pain because I have not experienced such a tragedy, there are many of us who want to truly mourn with you, to offer the comfort that only a person who is close with our LORD can offer. We would gladly take on some of your burdens to give you a moment’s rest from your deep pain. I speak to both the mothers and fathers- find a brother or sister in Christ and share that burden with them. Let them take on that burden in spirit so that you may find rest and eventually open yourself up to receive the comfort that Jesus wants to give you. Woman of GOD, you have suffered through a miscarriage, but that burden that you carry is not yours alone.

 

As seen on