Two Principles for Motherhood

Two Principles for Motherhood

For Maria Shriver, motherhood is quite a serious and heavy responsibility.

She said, “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”

For Gilda Radner, motherhood seems to be a great risk.

She said, “Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism.”

From these two viewpoints, a mother may find motherhood to be a daunting task. You never know what the outcome of your efforts will be. Not even your best will guarantee that your child will turn out well in the end. Other mothers may feel doomed and trapped for it will require one’s whole life and being to fulfill this kind of responsibility.

These kinds of perception are just a few of the reasons that discourage females from desiring and pursuing motherhood. Statistics show that voluntary childlessness among women is on the rise. One past study among Canadian women showed that among childless women aged 40 and up, half were intentionally childless. One US study showed the number of childless women aged 30 and over have increased from 2007.

Scriptures, however, always bring insight and optimism. Not all will be mothers. Not all can be mothers. God’s Word says that children are a heritage from the Lord and that the fruit of the womb is a reward.   Remembering this through all seasons of motherhood will make the “task” more enjoyable. Women who experience God’s love, who journey towards sharing His love with others will find this to be true. In experiencing God’s love and imparting it to others, a woman will find herself loving motherhood with each passing day. She will also understand key principles of motherhood and focus on those.

Raise a child who loves God above all.

It is a better desire to raise a child who not only loves and desires to please you but who loves and desires to please God above all. In godliness is spiritual success. Spiritual success is key to a thriving life because your child will grow committed and dependent on God whether times are good or evil. Lay the foundations and allow your child to grow, rooted in them. Proverbs 22:6 says that when we direct our children onto the right path when they are older, they will not leave it. It means that whatever happens, our child will always have the right foundations to go back to.

Explain the whys.

When children are young, it is essential that we direct them to do what needs to be done. Kids depend on us to teach them the basics: right values, right conduct. As children get older, weaning should take place. We are to train them to exercise their own senses, to develop discernment, to formulate their own convictions and priorities. The parent needs to be there to instill right biblical values that make sense to the children. Then, the parent needs to step back and allow the power of the Word to take effect in the hearts and minds of their children. With age, motherhood evolves from dictating the “to-dos” and “not-to-dos” to explaining the “whys and “why not’s”.

Lay the foundation. Rear a lover of God. Train your child for independence. Do these. Then, trust God for the results. Be an absolute lover of your child, even when he makes mistakes. And always, be a continual teacher and mentor.

Where Have All the Fathers Gone?

As soon as Rhys heard the front door open, he jumped up and began shouting for joy, “Mom Daddy’s home, Daddy’s home!”. His heartbeat racing and his brown eyes shining excitedly, anticipating playtime with Daddy. A wide grin spread across Rhys’s face as Daddy acted like a big bear. Daddy quickly dropping down onto one knee so that he’d be at his son’s height to horse around the living room. Sadly this scene is becoming a rear sight to see.

Today let’s talk about the invisible dads, the ones who don’t marry Mummy, don’t support their kids and don’t hang around for the hugs, kisses and nappy changes. There are millions of them around the world, and their numbers are growing.

“Today, more than one in four births is to an unmarried mother, and more than one in 10 births is to a teenager. These numbers portend a future of fragile families. Once considered primarily a racial problem, fatherless homes have increased across a wide range of demographics over the last ten years.”

How have we come to the point where a child with two parents is the exception rather than the norm? It is time that we put the issue of fatherless families front and center on our national agenda.

So who’s the real problem here? And why should we care?

It is time to shift our attention to the issue of male responsibility, and to the indispensable role that fathers play in our society.

Firstly, it would be an oversimplification to assume that two parents are always better than one as there are many courageous and loving single moms and daddy’s who are able to balance the competing demands on their time and attention, to care and provide for their children alone.

However, contrary to the sentiments of our culture and though our society is only beginning to recognize it, the presence of fathers within the home is vital to the moral integrity of a society. The short-term effects are already far too evident as statistics  reveal that the loss of fathers is reverberating throughout the world in the form of social pathologies ranging from teen pregnancy to drug abuse.

Fatherless children are  five times more likely to be poor and twice as likely to drop out of school as children who live with both parents.

Boys, without proper male role models, look to other sources for the male bonding they need. In the inner cities that often entails gangs while in the suburbs it tends to be online.

“According to the latest statistics, the increase in the proportion of single-parent families accounted for about half of the overall increase in child poverty from 1979 through to 1987.”

The Scriptures warn us about the power of fatherhood, as well as the long-lasting impact that fatherhood has on us all. Exodus 20:4-6.” Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” could be both about habits/behavior and also looks. Have you ever thought about that? Do you often find yourself reacting to a situation the way your father did? or scarier yet…do you ever see your mannerisms in your son? The footprint of a father leaves a permanent mark on the soul of a child.

Fatherhood is under assault

We hear a lot about the war on women…but it is the war on Dads that is causing the greatest damage in the world today. It’s not hard to find. If you watch any popular sitcom on television today, you’ll likely notice that fathers are typically portrayed as childish, irresponsible, lazy, incompetent and stupid.

The doofus dad stereotype isn’t new. There’s Fred Flinstone, and even Charlie Brown’s monotone parents. But according to Tierny, the consistency of these new portrayals has slowly created a new norm opposed to what being a father used to mean.

Dads make a difference. Dads can be heroes – if only we give them the chance. We remain optimistic that family still has more influence than media.

We all need another hero

Fathers are representatives of God on earth; as our heavenly father is the giver of life so also are the earthly father’s givers of life.  Malachi 4:6 says “And he will turn, the hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”

God understands the importance of a father’s love and cares towards their children and He has set the standard by being the first example of a loving father.

“The SARRI report quotes research which  found that “the presence of a father can  contribute to cognitive development,  intellectual functioning, and school  achievement. Children growing up  without fathers are more likely to experience emotional disturbances and  depression.”

“Girls who grow up with  their fathers are more likely to have  higher self-esteem, lower levels of risky  sexual behaviour, and fewer difficulties  in forming and maintaining romantic  relationships later in life. They have less  likelihood of having an early pregnancy,  bearing children outside marriage,  marrying early, or getting divorced.”

A father’s touch

The first thing, therefore, that a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Another part of a father’s task is that of a protector for his family. But, Daddy also has another task in the home, which is to combine tenderness with strength, and to model the combination so consistently that the children regard the combination as natural.

Our kids must come to know naturally both that dad’s standards protect them, and that his love makes them strong.

Where have all the fathers gone?

Our courts do not value fatherhood as much as motherhood. In 2015 it is still the case that mothers and fathers do not have equal rights

And herein lies the problem. Our expectation of the role a separated father should play in his children’s lives is so low, that when half of dads who win “access” to their kids can’t even sleep under the same roof as their offspring, academics declare this to be an overwhelming success. One of the fruits of the feminist movement many claim is the idea that a woman is more responsible as a parent than the father is.

“He is not my Dad…he is just someone you sleep with!” How many mothers have felt the sting of those words? That is why God hates divorce. We should too.

Our culture has put asunder things which God has joined together—things such as tenderness and strength. It is the job of the father to put them back together again.

Fatherhood, like Motherhood has is its own rewards – as most dads have found. Sadly, for the others, the invisible ones, it is a gift foolishly squandered.

 

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