Conflict Management – Godinterest

September 15, 2016July 1, 2022

Politics and Project Management, a Lesson in Leadership

We all know that the more power you have, the better you are able to get the job completed. The problem is most project managers have lots of responsibility, but hardly any authority and since most projects exist outside core business structures, they are forced to develop other methods of influence.

One unspoken evil that is often ignored on project management training courses is the politics of project management. While most of us view politics with disgust; there is no refuting that effective project managers are often seen as those who are equipped and able to employ fitting political strategies to further their project goals.

“In a Perfect World the Best Workers Would Be Promoted on Merit Alone and the Best Ideas Would Be Adopted Regardless of Personal Interest – but We Do Not Live in Utopia”

Have you ever included ‘office politics’ as a risk on your risk register? Probably not. Though, consider the potential implications of ignoring the ugly stepchild of project management?

“The Objective of Office Politics Is to Manipulate a Situation in Order to Achieve an Outcome That Will Benefit One Individual or Group at the Expense of Other Individuals or Groups.”

While it is unlikely that ‘office politics’ would be listed directly as a risk on your risk register, it is quite likely that one or more of the outcomes of it would. As a result, if you want to survive and prosper in the real world you need to combine good work with smart politics to ensure your own success and that of your projects. The biggest mistake a project manager can make is to assume that politics in project management doesn’t exist. After all, politics is human nature and has played an integral part in history since the dawn of civilization.

In a group where working interactions are fraught with tension and individuals have their own personal agendas or want to be “top dog” personal conflicts will often get in the way of the project aims. Issues between members of the team become the over-riding concern both for the individuals afraid and sometimes even the project manager. Meetings can consist of jostling for power or simply trying to justify your position and when that happens progress on the project will undoubtedly suffer.

For most project managers, playing politics is a form of slow, soul-destroying torture where logic, self-control, transparency and trustworthiness are replaced by deception, concealment, and sabotage. However, ignoring the external and internal politics surrounding your project or organization is dangerous. Successful project managers need to understand organizational politics and how to make them work for project success.

In the case of project politics you can use these key techniques in a constructive manner:

Carefully Manage Your Own Conduct

The first rule is to at all times act in a way that commands respect and beyond that, respect others. That means not gossiping, spreading rumors or getting sucked into interpersonal conflicts and arguments. Maintain your honesty!
Be positive as a positive outlook is a choice that you can always make and remain professional.
Be confident and firm but not hostile and make sure you take organizational perspectives, not a personal one when voicing objections or giving criticism.
Always assume things will be disclosed, so don’t rely on confidentiality.
Over time you will learn what works in your organization’s culture and what doesn’t. Try to watch other people and identify successful behaviors that you can model to navigate the political minefield.

Review the Organization Chart

Sit back and watch for a while. Identify the real influencers, those who are respected, champions, those who have authority but don’t use it, the mentors and last but not least the true brains behind the organization. Then re-map the organization chart in terms of political influence as politics will often bypass the formal organization chart.

Understand the Social Network

Once you know who’s who in the organization, you have to understand the social networks. This involves identifying who gets along with whom, groups or cliques that have formed and ongoing interpersonal conflicts. Over time you will learn who has the most trouble getting along with others and the basis for the interrelationship whether it be friendship, respect or manipulation, including how the influence flows between all parties.

Build Good Relationships

Now you need to build multiple networks but avoid aligning yourself with one group or another this way you can keep your finger on the pulse of the organization.
Don’t be afraid of politically powerful people and instead, develop relationships that cross the formal hierarchy in all directions.
Build your relationships on trust and respect and avoid empty flattery.

Use Your Social Network

You will need to learn to use your social network to stay clear of negative politics. You can do this through positive political action.
Use your network to gain access to information, build visibility of your achievements and improve difficult relationships.
Attract opportunities where you can shine and seek out ways to make yourself, your team and your boss look good.

Counteract Negative Play

“The Expression, Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer” Couldn’t Be Any Truer When It Comes to Office Politics.”

Your mapping of the organization will help you to identify those people who use others for their own political purposes, and not for the common good. Know that these people typically have low self-worth (that’s why they rely on destructive politicking to get ahead). Always be very careful what you say to them. Understand what motivates them, their goals, and how to avoid or counter the impact of their politics
Remember loyalty is not a reliable factor in the workplace!

“It is easy to become a target if you’re ambitious or if you strive for change. One of the biggest mistakes we make in our career is to assume that everyone likes progress. This is not true’Å —’Å many are content with the status quo and will defend it with their life.”

Projects are rarely easy and office politics can compound other sorts of problems that arise so they need to be dealt with swiftly and firmly.

November 23, 2015July 1, 2022

42 Masterful Quotes to Inspire Healthier Relationships

Conflict is part of our working life and is often used as a way to work out our differences and reach a conclusion. It’s usually the approach you take that tends to exacerbate the issues and cause undue stress. How you deal with conflict reveals your character.

The wise man doesn’t give the right answers, he poses the right questions — Claude Lvi-Strauss
A crisis is a turning point — Anne Lindthorst
Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional — Max Lucade
Don’t be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind — Hamilton Mabie
There is no way to peace. Peace is the way — AJ Muste
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment — Dorothy Nevill
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them — Ralph Nichols
The more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war — Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit
To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong — Joseph Chilton Pearce
A man convinced against his will”¦is not convinced — Laurence J. Peter
My problem is I say what I’m thinking before I think what I’m saying — Laurence J. Peter
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of emotion – Robert Quillen
You can’t influence somebody when you’re judging them — Tony Robbins
Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side — Duke FranÃƒ§ois de La Rochefoucauld
It is astonishing how elements which seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions which seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard — Carl Rogers
If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable— Mr. Rogers
Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today — Will Rogers
The best way to persuade people is with your ears, by listening to them — Dean Rusk
The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution — Bertrand Russell
It is with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye — Antoine de Saint-Exupry
Human beings love to be right. When a person is willing to give up being right, a whole world of possibilities opens up — Pete Salmansohn
The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise — David J. Schwartz
Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is? — Frank Scully
Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve the silence? — Shirdi Sai Baba
When things are not working for us, instead of fighting and struggling, we need to say, “What’s happening here? How am I not being true to who I am? What is pulling me away from my purpose?” — June Singer
The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you — John E. Southard
It takes two to quarrel, but only one to end it — Spanish Proverb
The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn— Source unknown
Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions — Earl Gray Stevens
Life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it — Charles Swindoll
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow — Carol Tavris
Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict—alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence — Dorothy Thompson
Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness — James Thurber
A good manager doesn’t try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his people. If you’re the boss and your people fight you openly when they think that you are wrong, that’s healthy — Robert Townsend
Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use — Mark Twain
People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes — Abigail VanBuren
The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any — Alice Walker
It isn’t a mistake to have strong views. The mistake is to have nothing else — Anthony Weston
I’ve found that I can only change how I act if I stay aware of my beliefs and assumptions. Thoughts always reveal themselves in behavior — Margaret Wheatley
I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum — Frances Willard
When you’re at the edge of a cliff, sometimes progress is a step backward — Source unknown

November 14, 2015July 1, 2022

35 Best Conflict Resolution Quotes

Conflict happens. However, avoidance of conflict, with no effort to resolve it, postpones a proper response and exacerbates the problem because conflicts that are allowed to fester unaddressed will always increase and have negative effects on relationships within the body.

These quotes seem to suggest that it is how you handle the situation, your attitude going into the conflict, and the conflict resolution that matters.

“If you understood everything I said, you’d be me.” — Miles Davis
“Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.” — African proverb
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” — Paul Boese
“If war is the violent resolution of conflict, then peace is not the absence of conflict, but rather, the ability to resolve conflict without violence.” — C.T. Lawrence Butler
“One of the most basic principles for making and keeping peace within and between nations is that in political, military, moral, and spiritual confrontations, there should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation of differences before resorting to combat.” — Jimmy Carter
“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” — Cherokee proverb
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” — Winston Churchill
“A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.” — Winston Churchill
“Every conflict we face in life is rich with positive and negative potential. It can be a source of inspiration, enlightenment, learning, transformation, and growth–or rage, fear, shame, entrapment, and resistance. The choice is not up to our opponents, but to us, and our willingness to face and work through them.” — Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith
“The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them.” — Tom Crum
“I believe that the basic nature of human beings is gentle and compassionate. It is therefore in our own interest to encourage that nature, to make it live within us, to leave room for it to develop. If on the contrary, we use violence, it is as if we voluntarily obstruct the positive side of human nature and prevent its evolution.” — His Holiness the Dalai Lama
“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” – Ram Dass
“The more incompetent one feels, the more eager he is to fight.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“Every person in this life has something to teach me—and as soon as I accept that, I open myself to truly listening.” — Catherine Doucette
“The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is the way in which we use them.” — Adriana Doyle
“When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” — Wayne Dyer
“Whenever two good people argue over principles, they are both right.” — Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
“Today . . . spend more time with people who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.”—- Unknown Author
“Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” — Unknown
“Love is our most unifying and empowering common spiritual denominator. The more we ignore its potential to bring greater balance and deeper meaning to human existence, the more likely we are to continue to define history as one long inglorious record of man’s inhumanity to man.” — Unknown
“You can never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete.” — Buckminister Fuller
“Our greatest power as nations and individuals is not the ability to employ assault weapons, suicide bombers, and drones to destroy each other. The greater more creative powers with which we may arm ourselves are grace and compassion sufficient enough to love and save each other.” — Seth Godin
“The problem with holding a grudge is that your hands are then too full to hold onto anything else.” — Seth Godin
“To truly listen is to risk being changed forever.” — Sakej Henderson
“The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes
“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” — William James
“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.” – Jesse Jackson
“Always pass a plate of forgiveness before each verbal feast — Anabel Jensen
“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” — Kimberly Johnson
“If you’re not listening, you’re not learning.” — L.B. Johnson
“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.”— Wayne Dyer
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung
“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”— Anthony Robbins
“Happiness depends on what you can give, not on what you can get.”— Swami Chinmayananda Saraswati
“Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.” — Martin Luther King

Jesus did not advocate non-violence merely as a technique for outwitting the enemy, but as a just means of opposing the enemy in such a way as to hold open the possibility of the enemy’s becoming just as well. Both sides must win. We are summoned to pray for our enemies’ transformation, and to respond to ill-treatment with a love that not only is godly but also, I am convinced, can only be found in God.