If you want heartburn try eating everything.
No matter what you do you will not be able to please everyone. So why try? You know coming out of last year I felt the need for detoxification. No, it is not what you think! I wanted to detoxify from people.
Yes, people. I have watched others, including myself, at times fall viticm to people pleasing. I have allowed some people knowingly and unknowingly to control parts of my life. It is one of those behavioural patterns that left me scratching my head. I would sometimes say to myself, “what were you thinking signing on to that crap.”
People pleasing can become counter-productive to your success, if not, checked at the door. I find myself becoming so irritated when I see people allowing themselves to become someones doormat for a, “that’s a good boy!”
I have witnessed over the years the destructive effects of people that have loss a since of themselves because they have allowed others to control their lives. Witnessing adults that can’t make sound decisions because they are so afraid of being singled out and ostracized is a sobering reminder, people pleasing is a destructive behavior.
Possessing within oneself the strength to say, “No” is a powerful and sought after quality in my opinion. To have ownership of ones life is a must. It is a sobering reminder that we must harold and respect appropriate boundaries for our lives.
I believe that if we live our lives to please God then we won’t spend so much time trying to please others.
So I have come up with my mantra and you can rock it too…,
“It’s time to detoxify.”
I have made up my mind that I will rid myself of hurtful and harmful habits and emotions such as people pleasing.
People pleasing can be extremely harmful to our mental health and self-esteem. You don’t have to look any further than social media to see the devasting effects of people addiction.
Likes and dislikes have become the new form of people pleasing and some people will almost kill themselves to trend in likes.
We have to combat and confront such harmful patterns of self-deprivation and ineptitude. We must begin to form and practice good habits of self-love. We must strive to see ourselves in a positive light.
How we see ourselves is so important to how we treat and let others treat us. Why should someone else respect you when you don’t respect yourself? We must practice good habits and detoxify our minds from the grips of people pleasing.
Serving others and caring for them with respect and love can be extremely valuable. However, when we allow ourselves to be self-serving trying to please others to please ourselves, we cause great emotional and mental harm to ourselves.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to see people happy.
The problem comes in when we allow other peoples desires to become idols to us.
For example: We can’t sleep unless everyone is pleased with our decisions.
This kind of behaviour is a problem. We should do our best to be fair to all. But the key is not to lose ourselves in pleasing others to the point of making idols out of them.
Stop waiting for people to sanction your every move. We must trust God to direct us and put the right people in our paths to take us to the next level.
Pray while you’re moving. Make a God sought decision for your life by prayer, thoughtfulness and trusting that God will not stir you wrong.
Mike Anthoni host of the Urban Christian Podcast: Making An Impact Christian Podcast Show
