A friend once asked me how do I keep a faith based marriage? It wasn’t something that happened overnight, it was a marriage lifestyle that we had to cultivate. Jesus’s sermon on the mount of olives taught us the values and way of life he wishes for us to live. I use this as inspiration in my marriage to create a Christ like way of life.
We are taught to have a thirst for righteousness, and to humble ourselves. Pride was one of my big sins that was hard to let go of and today it still challenges me. Couples prayer not only brings us together united with the Lord, it humbled my pride. I was always so afraid to say the prayer out loud with my husband, out of the fear that I would say it wrong.
Praying together allows you to get on the same page spiritually and bring your bond closer to God. This is exactly what marriage is, a union between souls and heavenly father. As you grow closer to God you become more like him. This impacts your marriage positively as you are improving yourself as a human being. Becoming more like God is practicing patience, forgiveness and compassion. These traits we all need in a successful marriage.
As Christians we need to be makers of peace, yet in marriage it is not always that easy. We must learn to not always be right and practice making peace. A good way to avoid conflict is to plan ahead. Having a family meeting once a week can not only be practical but it can be spiritual too. Open your meeting with a prayer and then talk about what you have going on that week, and what you may need help with. This way neither partner feels like something has been sprung on them. We all forget events at some time or another so a reminder never hurts. It also lays out our expectations in our partner for the week, instead of assuming they will do the dishes because you had a late night with friends or make the bed because now you are now first out of bed. It makes it your expectations clear and gives the other partner the opportunity to discuss if that is something they may or may not want to commit too. Remember we are all human, we can only do so much in a day, week, or year. We both need to adopt the mind set of being the peacemaker. Practice compassion, active listening and focus on communicating well with your partner.
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After 10 years of marriage, I totally agree – values are cultivated in marriage day by day. This quote stood out to me, “We must learn to not always be right and practice making peace.” I recommend apologies, humility, and keeping a short account of wrongs. All of this can only happen by God’s grace working through two broken people. Stick with it and God is faithful to lead us in our marriages. Great stuff!
Good insights. Sage counsel. The struggle to balance selflessness and self care is constant and frankly harder on mothers, single or married. A good spouse doesn’t keep a ledger because mutual support is not a 50/50 economic proposition but a 100% all in commitment.
I loved writing this article. Let me know your thoughts.