As an only child, my parents influenced all that I did. They were kind, clever and creative, and I longed to be like them. They’d met when they were 18, married at 20 and always seemed joyously happy and in love.. I simply expected that the same thing would happen to me.
However, I was involved in a relationship that was not right. Some things are “gray issues,” but there are times when we really do know that something is not right. I had the “definitely wrong” conviction about my recent relationship with my boyfriend who I considered to be my soul mate. Yes, he was a Christian, and I even had some friends who told me we were good for each other. But deep down I knew that this was not where God was leading me.
There were other clues, too, such as the fact that the people closest to me–my family and longtime friends–didn’t approve. They were impressed that it was not God’s plan for me to be in this relationship. Foolishly, I listened to those who told me what I wanted to hear because this was what I wanted. I didn’t leave God. I kept praying and tricking myself into thinking this was His will, even though I knew it wasn’t, because I thought the sex was, well “true love”.
I think this philosophy of a “soul mate” has done far more harm than good in our society. First and foremost, it’s a concept that is rooted in ancient mythology. Beyond the fact that the term is founded completely in fairy tale, it’s also entirely unbiblical.
How long will it take us to learn that feelings can’t be trusted?
If those who are contemplating marriage would not have miserable, unhappy reflections after marriage, they must make it a subject of serious, earnest reflection now. This step taken unwisely is one of the most effective means of ruining the usefulness of young men and women. Life can quickly becomes a burden and a curse.
No one can so effectually ruin a woman’s happiness and usefulness, and make life a heartsickening burden, as her own husband; and no one can do one hundredth part as much to chill the hopes and aspirations of a man, to paralyze his energies and ruin his influence and prospects, as his own dear wife!
It is from the marriage hour that many men and women date their success or failure in this life, and their hopes of the future life.
Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and in the world to come. A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him.
Those who build their relationships on the foundation of “feeling” will find that when the rain comes- their love quickly crumbles.
There is no such thing as a person who will complete our souls, because according to God’s word- we are only made complete in Him.
We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not Himself. I would not be understood to mean that anyone is to marry one whom he does not love! But lust and the emotion must not be allowed to overrule common sense. God requires the whole heart and the supreme affections.
This is not a rally cry for divorce, as Marriage for the Christian is supposed to be on a completely different footing than the what do I get out of this mindset. We aren’t supposed to be tossing difficult relationships away like some kind of disposable diaper, but this could be a wake up call for your relationship!
True love is based on a healthy combination of facts and feelings, and a whole lot of good choices. May God give you the wisdom to choose well.