Dear God, Why Me?

Searching for Meaning in Suffering

Dear God, Why Me?
Dear God, Why Me?

“Why Me?” is the first question we ask when tragedy strikes and I have struggled with this question a lot throughout my life.

Why did I have to have parents that were abusive in every sense of the word?

Why did I have to be born into a dysfunctional family?

Why did I have to spend most of my childhood in foster care?

Why did I have to get sick? Did I do something wrong?

Why did I have to lose my job?

Why can’t I go and do as I please like so many other people do in this world?

Dear God, Why Me?

Life is not always fair but I do believe that everything happens for a reason and God always has a plan, even if I don’t see it. I know He did not cause me to have the past that I have had and He did not cause me get sick. That is just a product of living in a fallen world.

Where Does God Fit into the Grander Scheme of life?

He is my source, my rescuer, my comforter and healer. God heals in many ways, that is something that I have come to realize. Not so long ago, I had been going through a particularly tough day and I had come to a breaking point. It felt like an avalanche was coming down on me since I had found out that I was sick with Lupus. It was one thing after the other and the bad news wasn’t letting up. I was tired of the unfairness of life in itself.

Why the Answer to “Why Me?” is Not Satisfying

That day, I asked, “Dear God, Why Me?” What did I do to deserve this? and didn’t expect the answer that I got back, “Why not me?”  I had been so wrapped up in the unfairness of life, that I had forgotten that God can use every situation in my life to show His power. When I asked the question, “Why me?” there was an assumption that suffering was not supposed to affect me, that it was not appropriate or fair.

Paul states in 2 Corinthians 12: 7-9 ESV,

“A thorn was given to me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Paul wanted this torment to end but Jesus told Him “My power is made perfect in weakness.” Then Paul says something very strange and foreign to our intellect, “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12: 9 ESV) Paul actually considered himself to be in the right place at the right time with an infirmity that was going to make him stronger. In fact, Paul goes on to say,

“For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12: 10 ESV)

Although I cannot equate everyone’s situation and illnesses to mine, I can say for me that God’s grace is sufficient for my needs.

When I am faced with the “Dear God, Why Me?” I will now stop and ask; Why not me?

How far would I be willing to go, to share Jesus with others? I could choose to stay in the why me? or I could move forward and be in the, why not me?  I am not signing up to be sick, but since these things are a part of my life, I am willing to use my weaknesses as a testimony to share my heavenly father’s love with the world.

I am willing to be open and real about my life experiences and share my daily struggles as I go through this life journey. I am far from perfect, I stumble and I fall just like everyone else, but at the end of the day, I remember that I have a Savior no matter what I am facing.

Every day is a huge cross to bear for me, but I can either ask “Dear God, Why Me?” or I can take up my cross and follow Jesus. And that is the song I will sing until I go to meet my Father in a perfect place, where there is no sickness or death. His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness.

Written by Tabitha Hill

My name is Tabitha. I started writing a year ago sharing Jesus and my story. I have over ten autoimmune diseases, and a heart defect but none of these things define me. I have realized that although not everyone is ill, people still go through the same very real things and emotions that I do, although I have come to realize that it doesn't matter whether you are sick, lost, or sad, we all experience the same difficulties in life they just have different names but we can use the same strategies to overcome. I share my thoughts, my experiences with my personal journey and how I personally overcome each difficulty with God by my side. Without him, I would be a mess. Everything I write is real and I do not write words of advice that I have not used myself. If I can touch just one person through my life for Jesus Christ then I have done what he has called me to do.

4 Comments

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  1. God definitely puts us in the right place at the right time. We are only looking through a keyhole when he sees the whole picture. That’s an amazing testimony!

  2. The timeliness of your post is almost perfect. I recently found myself in the hospital with something the doctor’s said was life threatening. As I lay there unable to sleep because of a combination of pain and medication, the myriad of thoughts flooded my mind, not the least were all the “why” questions. While wrestling through the physical challenges, the emotional challenges and now the spiritual challenges demanding my time, a permeating thought flooded my heart. I sensed it to be the Holy Spirit. “Instead of asking why, perhaps you should ask ‘what’ ” he said. I began to ask what I was supposed to see, or learn or do during this time. Shortly after this interaction, a young nurse was assigned to me. Over the course of the next several days I was allowed the wonderful opportunity to speak into her life things about Jesus and his kingdom. In the early morning hours that followed, I recall weeping with such tears of joy as I expressed to the Father my gratitude for being able to touch this young lady’s life. “If all of this pain and suffering were for these few moments sharing Jesus’ love with this nurse, it was worth it Father,” I told him. Now I ask “what” instead of “why.”

    • God has perfect timing for everything and everyone. That always amazes me.

      Coming from someone that has Lupus and about 10 other autoimmune illness attacking my major organs, sometimes its just not meant for us to know the why, we just have to trust the process. God is in control when we have no control. That’s when we just lay back and tell God ok, you got this.
      Fantastic testimony! Thankyou for sharing.
      I will keep you in my prayers for recovery.

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