I think that sometimes when we don’t see results we can sometimes feel that we are praying in vain. That our prayers are not always heard. It’s a human response to feeling that you are praying your last prayer, due to sheer exhaustion, because of what is happening in your life or the situation you are praying for. I have been told many times to give up and almost as many times I have been told that there is always hope.
I don’t know if I even have the ability to give up hope. I’m not sure it is part of who I am or ever will be. For me to give up hope would be like giving up on my faith, admitting that there is nothing to become, to look forward to nothing to love. Hope is never giving up on what you love, to not believe the impossible can happen when you are surrounded by everything that someone once told you was impossible.
In this life I have had to learn so many difficult lessons and I don’t think that learning and growing will ever end for me. Some of those lessons came easily while others were, each time I went through something, I thought was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Forgiveness took me over 40 years to learn and it was a struggle every time I had to do it but now it comes easier through hope, my faith and a lot of prayers while kicking and screaming all the way.
“If you try and lose then it isn’t your fault. But if you don’t try and we lose, then it’s all your fault.” ’- Orson Scott Card, Ender’s Game
I’ve had to learn to take responsibility for my actions and for my inaction. I had to look at myself, be honest and move forward without answers. Then I think the hardest was having to go back to revisit forgiveness of everyone, everything and myself. I had to see that I wasn’t perfect, people aren’t perfect and situations and decisions have consequences. I learned to be ok with all of that through hope and faith that I could do better and be praying for help and strength.
My oldest son has problems and I don’t know if they will change. I don’t know if he will change. I see the issues, I know the solution and there is nothing I can do to change any of it. All I can do is have hope that there is a piece of the boy I used to know deep inside, have faith that he will be the man he has been raised to be and pray that one day he will feel the love and compassion that God has for him. That what seems impossible is possible because he has been forgiven and anything that is wrong can be made right through hope, in faith, and by prayer.
August 3, 2017 8:17am ~ Heavenly Father, thank you for this beautiful day and the chance to do your will and read your scriptures. Thank you for having the blessing of another day to do your will and worship you.
Today more than ever bless and watch over Ja.G. as he is released form jail entering into evil temptations. May he find his way to you to find peace and salvation. May he find the desire to be forgiven by you Lord Jesus, to desire your blessing of the Holy Spirit.
Give his family the ability to forgive him and to find your love and desire to worship you and receive the blessing of the Holy Spirit.
Bless us as we go through our day. AMEN!
John 5:5-9 ~ One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
Be well and get up, always.
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